mini mouse
Full Member
I have been waiting for yesterdays wedding to come with mixed emotions (my aunties wedding). On the one hand, very much looking forward to celebrating the day with my family. I have known about the wedding approching for months (pre LL) so initially I was very much looking forward to a delicious meal. However I started LL 4 weeks ago, and the closer the wedding got, the more stressed I became about it. I was convinced that I would have a nibble of each course as a bare minimum, and not convinced that I could stop there!!!
However, when I started LL I said with a steely determination that I would not deviate from abstinence for the 100days. So this commitment I made to myself was very fresh in my mind too. I have suffered an inner battle with myself! I have even been dreaming about eating food at the wedding and waking in the morning feeling devasted with myself, before remembering I was dreaming !!!!
My mam said several times before the wedding to just nibble on the low carb parts of the meal as I was worried about dropping out of ketosis. And I even convinced myself that it would be very bad mannered of me to leave the food, and ungrateful, when you consider the cost of a wedding meal!!! I mean, where would the excuses end?
After mentioning the wedding to my LLC, she said whatever I do, make sure I do not eat!! Her actual words were 'don't even go there!' as she explained how many people find it hard to get back on track. She recommended fabricating a 'stomach bug' so people did not pry into why so much was left on my plate. All good in theory. I decided to go with this.
However, I get to the wedding and realise I forgot to take any food packs, panic sets in as I realise I have to go from 11 in the moring to about 8pm without any packs, and ignore the delicious food being put infront of me... I feel self doubt creep in!!
BUT.... something clicks. I'm sat on a circular table of 10, with 9 family members, of which only 1 really knows what I'm doing (as far as LL) and 1 has a rough idea. Everyone around tucks into fresh bread buns and butter (undoubtably a major trigger of mine) and I resist. The first course arrives (my favourite starter) and its easy to push around the plate, so I do. I hide the food under lettuce and hold food to my mouth, but never actually take a bite. To my astonishment , no-one notices, they're all so busy tucking into their own!! However when the main arrives the plate is full, its not so easy to make it look eaten, but somehow no-one notices this, and my dad happily swaps his empty dessert plate for my full one.
Somehow I get through the whole day, afternoon with chocolate fountain, and evening hot buffet, without a single bite. AND my ever so nosey family don't even notice that I havn't eaten a thing!!! How wonderful!! I am so proud of myself for this, as it has plagued me for weeks! I didn't think I had it in me to do this!
But strangly today at home has been a struggle and I have craved food all day long!!! I did not cave in. I think perhaps I may have had an far harder day today had I eaten yesterday!?
Sorry for the length of the post!! I just needed to get it written down for some reason!!
Thanks for listening
However, when I started LL I said with a steely determination that I would not deviate from abstinence for the 100days. So this commitment I made to myself was very fresh in my mind too. I have suffered an inner battle with myself! I have even been dreaming about eating food at the wedding and waking in the morning feeling devasted with myself, before remembering I was dreaming !!!!
My mam said several times before the wedding to just nibble on the low carb parts of the meal as I was worried about dropping out of ketosis. And I even convinced myself that it would be very bad mannered of me to leave the food, and ungrateful, when you consider the cost of a wedding meal!!! I mean, where would the excuses end?
After mentioning the wedding to my LLC, she said whatever I do, make sure I do not eat!! Her actual words were 'don't even go there!' as she explained how many people find it hard to get back on track. She recommended fabricating a 'stomach bug' so people did not pry into why so much was left on my plate. All good in theory. I decided to go with this.
However, I get to the wedding and realise I forgot to take any food packs, panic sets in as I realise I have to go from 11 in the moring to about 8pm without any packs, and ignore the delicious food being put infront of me... I feel self doubt creep in!!
BUT.... something clicks. I'm sat on a circular table of 10, with 9 family members, of which only 1 really knows what I'm doing (as far as LL) and 1 has a rough idea. Everyone around tucks into fresh bread buns and butter (undoubtably a major trigger of mine) and I resist. The first course arrives (my favourite starter) and its easy to push around the plate, so I do. I hide the food under lettuce and hold food to my mouth, but never actually take a bite. To my astonishment , no-one notices, they're all so busy tucking into their own!! However when the main arrives the plate is full, its not so easy to make it look eaten, but somehow no-one notices this, and my dad happily swaps his empty dessert plate for my full one.
Somehow I get through the whole day, afternoon with chocolate fountain, and evening hot buffet, without a single bite. AND my ever so nosey family don't even notice that I havn't eaten a thing!!! How wonderful!! I am so proud of myself for this, as it has plagued me for weeks! I didn't think I had it in me to do this!
But strangly today at home has been a struggle and I have craved food all day long!!! I did not cave in. I think perhaps I may have had an far harder day today had I eaten yesterday!?
Sorry for the length of the post!! I just needed to get it written down for some reason!!
Thanks for listening
