Feeling uncharacteristically low

[lashly]

Sorry to post a low thread but am on own today and can't seem to find a way to pick myself up. Had a really ridiculous incident occur last night which at the time I talked myself through and decided to look at it as a positive, went to bed and then proceded to beat myself up and feel bad for a few hours .

It really was the most stupid little thing - all self inflicted, but I'm cross that I let it bother me so much, I'm an NLP practitioner and really should know better. Sorry am rambling because I'm embarrassed about what a silly thing it is. I was really excited to get through the 7st lost milestone this week - haven't posted any pictures yet (CDC has before pics so thought I'd email her for them) so decided to take a pic of myself (using timer on camera) did one from the front and one from the side and was horrified at how I looked!! Ok I still have 3st to go but my reaction was just horrible. All the negative feelings I've dealt with so well for 8 months hit me in one go. My NLP tried to kick in and told me that this is perfect timing and that I can now be remotivated for the last 3 st but despite trying to reframe it i then went to bed feeling so negative abouit myself.

I know this sounds ridiculous but I'm more cross with myself for still carrying such self loathing feelings than anything else - they were what got me to that state in the first place. I'll be fine I know I can sort this out but just needed a friendly ear, still feeling bruised

 

[DQ]

Oh honey, big ((((HUGZ)))

Sometimes knowing WHY something is happening doesn't help us deal with it happening. I'm so glad you felt you could come on here and tell us - we might not be able to give you a proper hug, but a virtual one is on it's way to you, and there's always someone here who will understand

{{{HUGZ}}}

 

[Barb]

Hi Louise, try not to feel too down; practice pattinmg yourself on the back for the INCREDIBLE job you have done so far. You can't expect your chatterbox not to re visit occasionally and we all have vulnerable moments when this happens. All you can do is focus on the positve and try not to dwell on the bad bits. Ok, you still have 3 stone to go, but can you honestly say you don't look much, much better that you did before you started? Of course not. This is a rocky road and you just hit a bump but you are doing soooooo well, don't be distracted. Close the door on last night and forget it. Easier said than done but you must have a lot of courage and determination to have got as far as you have, so I think you can do it.
Big Hugs

 

[chicken on a mission]

Louise yours is a post that I can really relate to because I went through just the same thing a short while back.

The thing was that I never would allow photos of myself at my largest and so when I lost a stone and a half and then another 2 stone on LL I thought this was great until I looked at the progress shots and saw not only how much I had left to do but also reasoned how gross I must have looked at my worst

But the upside of this is that you know that in about 3 months or so you will be where you want to be and you can get a great deal of comfort from knowing that you have taken control of your life and are making things happen for you.

We have always said that these VLCD diets are amazing because the results come so quickly on them and you should remember that this applies to your results as well, not just everyone elses!

Also try considering the changes in you that you can't easilly measure because they are the ones that truly matter. Your change in attitude and behaviour although not easilly quantifiable should not be forgotten

Onwards and downwards

 

[lashly]

Thanks you guys, am starting to pick up a bit. Had been wondering where I wanted togo with this journey and Iguess I now know that I've not gone far enough yet! Chicken, you've hit the nail on the head, pics of me at my heaviest don't exist (except on my CDCs computer!!) I have always avoided the camera. I do feel stronger and more whole than I have ever done in my life so last night came as a bit of a shock - thought I'd put all that stuff behind me. Anyway I guess it is a test of how far I've come and I've just about survived it!!!

Been thinking since I posted about the whole photo thingy, my dad died when I was 10 years old and there are very few photos of him (mainly because he was usually behind the camera) - the same is true of me but mostly because I avoid the camera at all costs, think its time to de-sensitize myself. I would hate for my own kids to be wishing they had a photo of their mum - know it sounds morbid but I've been there and it makes you think of these things!!

Not sure how I'm going to approach this but it could be a atep in the right direction, am determined to find some positive!!

 

[chicken on a mission]

Louise I am a firm believer that those time that are the hardest are the ones you get the most of in the long run. If you are not tested in life then you don't get that opportunity to move on.

Now whilst I would rather go through this whole dieting thing like a breeze I KNOW that were this to happen then at the first sign of trouble I would cave in because I would have no coping mechanism

It is certainly better to have a problems along the way even if you don't think so at the time as it gets you thinking. If you never to have to think about the things that really hurt you then you can't come to terms with them and find a way of coping.

Now is your chance to start moving forward

Good luck

 

[DQ]

Very well put Chicken, and something I believe in wholeheartedly (even if I would prefer the Motorway ride to skinnydom! )

 

[canireallydothis!!]

Dont forget also the perception we have of ourselves, When I lost weight before I still saw, in the mirror and photos, the person I was at my heaviest, I think also because you didnt have a comparison in front of you this will have made it worse, maybe if you had actually seen how far youd come then you would be thrilled and not upset. I know icemoose touches on this on his cambridge life blog about how we see ourselves.
Dont let this detract from how far you have come hun, you have lost an amasing amount of weight and im sure you will be thrilled with the next set of photos, just line them up with the old ones!!

 

[Isobel1965]

Hun - when I was 19 1/2 stone, I only ever saw my face in tiny mirrors! I wouldn't allow any pics to be taken of me so I don't know how I looked either.

What I have noticed though - now I am in the 10s, is that I'm a lot more critical of my body than ever before! Every lump and bump and wrinkle seems to be so glaringly obvious!

It is all in our heads, so relax and think how well you've done and I'm sure you will feel more positive in the morning, babes!

 

[DQ]

What I have noticed though - now I am in the 10s, is that I'm a lot more critical of my body than ever before! Every lump and bump and wrinkle seems to be so glaringly obvious!

Almost as though as soon as we start working on our bodies all we can see is the bad stuff, whereas at our biggest we were in denial about how we looked.