First week weigh in!
- Thread starter 1978Emma
- Start date
1978Emma
Full Member
Hi Pipaluk, sorry for the delay in replying, I haven't been online this week much. I'm sorry you have to battle with Aspergers, it can't be easy, I don't personally know much about it but at one point my psych did wonder if I had it, I can totally relate to the emotionless and robotic states, for me it was dissociation , I shut down completely, basically showed no emotions, was like a walking talking robot, playing the part of Emma although the real Emma wasn't there anymore, or that is how it felt, my psych told me this is very usual following severe trauma which at least helps me to understand the process. I then developed severe emotional dysregulation which often can follow a period of complete shut down which then has meant I am either shut down or so emotional, too emotional, so extreme highs, extreme lows and extreme angry outbursts, a bit of an anti social condition to be honest. I basically come over as extremely detached or way too emotional and people on the outside can't handle either state, especially the over the top emotions.
I'm sorry your teenage years weren't easy, when things happen that unsettle us whatever it is it can really have a knock on effect on things like our mental health. I am so sorry re your grandads death and re your grandmas dementia and death, I think its one of the worst conditions seeing someone you love go so down hill can be heart breaking. I can totally understand your feelings re your grandma, my dad didn't want me to see my gran when she went into hospital at the end of her life as she wasn't the same and was so ill and because I'm so ultra sensitive they knew I wouldn't cope with it well so I stayed away yet that led to feelings of guilt in me and especially with the other side of the family. The other side of the family had never visited her or been around for her at all and only turned up in the hospital during her last week or so whereas I had regularly seen her throughout my life and was very close with her but felt at the end as if I let her down even though my dad told me she didn't know who anybody was at that time, its so sad. I think family issues can have such a devastating effect on us and I for one do not think you were selfish, you had to do what was right for you at that time, your grandma would not have wanted to be remembered like that!
I know I have used food since a young age to push down those emotions like you said and to be able to remain cut off from the painful feelings, mine started due to school bullying and then continued through the years and got worse due to abuse etc until I ended up at 22 stone 5 lbs and horrified with my reflection. The thing is the weight creeps on, the issues with food and using it for comfort gets worse a bit at a time so you don't always notice it whilst its happening.
Oh and re your partner cheating on you, I'm so sorry this happened to you, you're such a lovely person and do not deserve that, this is a reflection on him not you! I can understand the food calling out at times like this, I know it would have done that for me as well, just be kind to yourself, look after your needs first and foremost.
I know many people who do the slimming groups from home as they can't afford the classes and you have been doing so well so I just know this will not change for you, it can be difficult when money is tight, I'm pretty much broke most of the time, always watching the pennies and it can get you down but making little changes can make quite a big difference financially. I don't go to a gym as I can't afford it but I do exercise each day with my dog as I therefore get at least two hours some days three hours of exercise and its free! I buy cheaper products at the supermarket where possible or the offers and it all helps, it gets you down at times but the fact you are going back into education is very good as its like investing in your future.
Big hugs, Em xxx
I'm sorry your teenage years weren't easy, when things happen that unsettle us whatever it is it can really have a knock on effect on things like our mental health. I am so sorry re your grandads death and re your grandmas dementia and death, I think its one of the worst conditions seeing someone you love go so down hill can be heart breaking. I can totally understand your feelings re your grandma, my dad didn't want me to see my gran when she went into hospital at the end of her life as she wasn't the same and was so ill and because I'm so ultra sensitive they knew I wouldn't cope with it well so I stayed away yet that led to feelings of guilt in me and especially with the other side of the family. The other side of the family had never visited her or been around for her at all and only turned up in the hospital during her last week or so whereas I had regularly seen her throughout my life and was very close with her but felt at the end as if I let her down even though my dad told me she didn't know who anybody was at that time, its so sad. I think family issues can have such a devastating effect on us and I for one do not think you were selfish, you had to do what was right for you at that time, your grandma would not have wanted to be remembered like that!
I know I have used food since a young age to push down those emotions like you said and to be able to remain cut off from the painful feelings, mine started due to school bullying and then continued through the years and got worse due to abuse etc until I ended up at 22 stone 5 lbs and horrified with my reflection. The thing is the weight creeps on, the issues with food and using it for comfort gets worse a bit at a time so you don't always notice it whilst its happening.
Oh and re your partner cheating on you, I'm so sorry this happened to you, you're such a lovely person and do not deserve that, this is a reflection on him not you! I can understand the food calling out at times like this, I know it would have done that for me as well, just be kind to yourself, look after your needs first and foremost.
I know many people who do the slimming groups from home as they can't afford the classes and you have been doing so well so I just know this will not change for you, it can be difficult when money is tight, I'm pretty much broke most of the time, always watching the pennies and it can get you down but making little changes can make quite a big difference financially. I don't go to a gym as I can't afford it but I do exercise each day with my dog as I therefore get at least two hours some days three hours of exercise and its free! I buy cheaper products at the supermarket where possible or the offers and it all helps, it gets you down at times but the fact you are going back into education is very good as its like investing in your future.
Big hugs, Em xxx
MissAmy
Would rather be sleeping.
Well done Emma.
My week six weigh in is this afternoon once I've finished work.
I don't think I'll lose, as I've been on a really horrific shift pattern.
I'm happy with my eating, but haven't done proper exercise since Monday and have had less than 5hrs sleep a night since Tuesday!!!
I don't think my body is very happy.
I'm aiming to maintain, anything else will be a bonus.
My week six weigh in is this afternoon once I've finished work.
I don't think I'll lose, as I've been on a really horrific shift pattern.
I'm happy with my eating, but haven't done proper exercise since Monday and have had less than 5hrs sleep a night since Tuesday!!!
I don't think my body is very happy.
I'm aiming to maintain, anything else will be a bonus.
1978Emma
Full Member
thanks MissAmy and good luck with your weigh in, oh shift patterns can cause all kinds of hell for someone trying to lose weight, my sister works long shifts as a midwife and finds trying to fit in eating regular healthy meals so difficult when working shifts especially when at times she doesn't get a chance to have a break. Em xx
andi
Bye bye bellies!!!
Well done Emma! You are nailing this healthy eating lark! Things have been crazy all week, kids are back at school (yipee!!!!) and I can get some resemblance of a routine back. Eating has been up and down this week but its going in the right direction. Im hoping to get back to my gym classes too. My dogs would love you - 3 hour walks! Mine are lucky to get 20mins round the park. What sort of dog do you have? I have 2 cocker spaniels, they are a part of the family and are spoilt rotten (apart from the walks!). Heres to a brilliant week! 
1978Emma
Full Member
Hi Andi, you will prob not be shocked when I tell you I have a young Border Collie, hence the long walks, she is so full of energy, she flipping bounces off the walls almost! ha ha I dread to think what she would be like without her long walks!
I do seem on the whole to be getting into my stride now with the healthy eating plan I am still having my treats though, had a gorg meal out at Pizza Hut yesterday as I went out for a catch up with a good friend of mine, oh and I so enjoyed my pizza and garlic bread, very tasty!! I just think at the end of the day I need to lose the weight but I have to do it in a way I can keep up and by working my treat days into my weekly eating plan I feel as if I can still have a life, so important to not feel hard done by especially as a binge eater! I know so many people are like "I thought you were on a diet" as soon as you decide to have some treat foods, I just think to myself that losing weight doesn't have to equal hard done by, I have changed much of the foods I was eating for healthier alternatives, who would have known I would enjoy healthy food hey but I still build in the treats, as I like my food just don't like the binges so by giving myself one small food treat every single night and then maybe a meal out once a week or once a fortnight I feel this is something I can keep up whereas if I went on a punishing and very restrictive diet I would be back to my binges in no time.
How are you Andi? oh it will be easier when the kids go back to school, I know my sis is looking forward to getting her routine back!
Em xx
I do seem on the whole to be getting into my stride now with the healthy eating plan I am still having my treats though, had a gorg meal out at Pizza Hut yesterday as I went out for a catch up with a good friend of mine, oh and I so enjoyed my pizza and garlic bread, very tasty!! I just think at the end of the day I need to lose the weight but I have to do it in a way I can keep up and by working my treat days into my weekly eating plan I feel as if I can still have a life, so important to not feel hard done by especially as a binge eater! I know so many people are like "I thought you were on a diet" as soon as you decide to have some treat foods, I just think to myself that losing weight doesn't have to equal hard done by, I have changed much of the foods I was eating for healthier alternatives, who would have known I would enjoy healthy food hey but I still build in the treats, as I like my food just don't like the binges so by giving myself one small food treat every single night and then maybe a meal out once a week or once a fortnight I feel this is something I can keep up whereas if I went on a punishing and very restrictive diet I would be back to my binges in no time.
How are you Andi? oh it will be easier when the kids go back to school, I know my sis is looking forward to getting her routine back!
Em xx
1978Emma
Full Member
oh I'm so looking forward to my night out tonight, off out for a meal with my sister and then on to the theatre to watch the musical version of "Oliver" , its the West End one that is on tour, oh can't wait!! plus have row A Seats - yay!! I have had a pretty difficult few days so I so need a good night out! Em xx
1978Emma
Full Member
yes it was at the Plymouth Theatre Royal Nessa, oh I am a theatre addict, always off to see something ha ha , "Oliver" was amazing, Brian Connelly was Fagin and he was incredible, all the cast were on top form, I was in my element. I dragged my sister along, she doesn't usually like going to the theatre but loves the "Oliver" film so I thought it was a safe bet and we both loved it, we had an absolutely fab night pipaluk, thanks for asking hun. We were seated in the two end seats on Row A and no word of a lie we could have almost reached out and touched the cast we were that close. Oh and we had a wonderful meal at Bella Italia first and totally spoiled myself, we even shared this dessert called "The Godfather" ha ha, no diet food in sight for me that night. Em xx
1978Emma
Full Member
Oh you should treat yourself Andi, I am always going to see something at the theatre, its my non food treat thing, luckily I have a very close friend who is a theatre addict as well so I can always count on being able to drag her along and also sometimes go with my folks as they love the theatre as well. Oh earlier this year I watched "The Phantom of the Opera" and it was magical, it was one of the best shows I have ever seen, though this "Oliver" show was amazing as well. How are you? Em xx
mothertiggy
Full Member
Well done hun you are doing well ..and yes we all need a night off (although i took a week lol )
