friend problem!

[emmamissfun]

Hey everyone,

Well I am on my last day on week 3 and this has been very tough. Its not that im very hungry I just feel like Im missing so much!! One of my best friends is a eater, she is quite big and she keeps asking me to go to lunch, dinner or for drinks. I have invited her to cinema or ice skating but she just huffs. Its like she doesnt want to see me unless it involves me coming of this diet.

Does anyone else have a friend like this? I just feel fed up with it. She keep saying she wants to lose weight because she would like to start trying for a baby and she is giving up the wine as she drinks everynight but I guess she hasnt got to that place yet where she really wants to lose it becuase no matter how much I try to help she isnt intrested. I understand that but I am finding it hard to listen to her going on about how Im now "boring" and dont I fancy a big munch seen as Im doing so well.

Ugh maybe I am being unfair and should try to be more sympathetic but I am sure she is trying to wreck my determination!

Any advice would be great!

 

[staceyh1987]

If she is your friend she should be supporting you on your diet not trying to turn it upside down. Dont worry about her telling you your boring, when your walking round all slim and trim she will have wished she had done it with you, i would not let my friend get in the way of me dieting when im wanting a better life for myself, you give in and you will be miserable and so angry at yourself for giving up, if you decide to go for meal with her, get a healthy meal, it doesnt mean becuase your going out for a meal you have to eat fatty foods, hope you dont give up and hope this helps, good luck xx

 

[staceyh1987]

your the exact same weight as me too

 

[sushi]

Be honest and explain that going out to bars and restaurants even socially is bit too much of a temptation.
She should understand.

 

[emmamissfun]

Thanks,

I wont give up!! I am determined to get rid of my extra weight. I have a young family that I want to enjoy everythign with. Last year I watched from the sidelines, this year Ill be involved with eveything they do.

I dont know maybe she is jealous she cant get motivated to start but I cant help with that, its something only she can decide on and know when the time is right. Its just abit sad and I get annoyed because Id like her support.

Anyway my husband said its her problem and not mine. I shouldnt dwell on it and keep focused on my journey. Ill be taking his advice!

 

[staceyh1987]

I started my diet with my cousin, she has cheated all the way through eating chocolate and takeaways, kfc you name it and it hasnt stopped me for carrying on, in the long run she will be the one that wished she hadnt done that, its jealousy with her aswell you see as im losing my weight faster than what she was, just think to yourself I CAN DO THIS because YOU CAN xx

 

[norwegian girl]

Don't let her bully you about this, if you have the strength and willpower go to a bar with her for a drink but only drink water! That could be the only compromise. I have two great friends who are visiting me this weekend, we have booked a hotel for the weekend and I have told them I am on this diet (I was nervous to do this due to their reaction, both skinny minnies) but a fantastic reaction. They told me they are coming to stuff their faces but to see me. So I think your friend is being very unfair and is trying to sabotage your success as she has not got on the path yet.
Julia

 

[lauriel]

Good on you for sticking with your diet. You would totally kick yourself if you went for lunch/dinner. If your friend really is a friend then she should understand that you're on a diet to lose weight. If she thinks you're boring for not wanting to go to lunch, she must be boring for not wanting to go ice skating!!!!

 

[Alex_1978]

Sorry to hear that your friend is making things difficult Emma I know it's easy to take it personally, but try to flip the situation on its head, and work out what's going on in her head too. Obviously, it doesn't excuse what she's doing, but it might make it easy not too feel too disheartened about the lack of support if you try to see it as her personal problem (and feel sorry for her), rather than something she's trying to direct at you.

It could be that she's jealous of you, and wishes she could do something about her own weight. As it happens, my least-supportive friend also happens to have weight issues of her own which I think is no co-incidence. My slim friends don't have food entwined in their lives and emotions to the same extent, so they don't mind that I'm not eating at the moment.
It could also be that she's feeling insecure, and doesn't want anything to change your friendship (I have a good friend who I class as my 'eating' partner in crime, and it always knocks me off balance when one or the other of us isn't eating as we normally would when we get together)
Or it could be that she wants to eat/drink/over-indulge herself, and wants you to justify what she's doing by joining in. I know that in the past there have been times when I've wanted to have a big night out/get drunk/eat lots or whatever, and I've been frustrated and dissapointed when whoever I was with didn't want to do the same.

Whatever the problem is, I think it's very likely to be because of something going on in her own head, rather than a deliberate and spiteful attempt to sabbotage you.
It sounds like you've done all you can though - offered to do something non-food related etc. but you may just have to accept that she doesn't want things to change at the moment, which really isn't your fault.

I hope it sorts itself out either way though. This diet is hard enough as it is, without coming up against opposition!
x