Friends/family's negative remarks abput your success?

Discussion in 'Slimming World' started by Mini_Mog, 24 May 2011 Social URL.

  1. Mini_Mog

    Mini_Mog Silver Member

    Posts:
    1,204
    Likes Received:
    3
    Start Weight:
    16st5.5lb
    Current Weight:
    14st8.5lb
    Lost(%):
    1st11lb(10.89%)
    Diet:
    VLCD, slimming world (currently)
    Before I start this post, most of my friends, my parents & husband have been 100% supportive of my weightloss and increasing fitness. They are happy that I'm happier & healthier.

    The same can't be said for a family member (who will remain nameless) who thinks I'm selfish for going to sw and gym for a few hrs a week- basically selfish for leaving my daughter with her daddy for maybe 4 hrs a week! Yes, I work full time, but I'm also working on being a healthy mum for the rest of my daughter's life!
    And also her favourite comment is 'don't get too thin, you were too thin last time, you looked ill'. My parents and husband on the otherhand said I looked fab and healthy. I was well within the healthy weight range for my height.

    The latest comment was a bit of a snidey one on a Facebook status from a friend's mother hinting that sw is taking over my life.

    Anyone else getting reactions like this too? I find it quite upsetting almost that I feel so good & happy and people can't just leave me be.
     
  2. Avatar

    MiniMins.com Matched Content

  3. nc1967

    nc1967 Full Member

    Posts:
    74
    Likes Received:
    1
    Start Weight:
    15st5lb
    Current Weight:
    14st0.5lb
    Lost(%):
    1st4.5lb(8.6%)
    Diet:
    Slimming World
    Sounds like a case of jealousy to me. you are doing fantastic, and always remember on facebook, you can delete posts out of your news feed, or even block items - so use that!!
     
  4. Lindam

    Lindam Silver Member

    Posts:
    508
    Likes Received:
    5
    Diet:
    Slimming World
    Only you know what is right for you and your family, if that is for you to follow SW and go to the gym then so be it. As we all know our children follow our example, and it is fantastic that you are showing your daughter a healthy lifestyle.
    It is hurtful for people to put insinuations on Facebook, but it says more about their lives than yours....how sad are they.
    Rise above it, knowing that you are doing everything in your power to make your family life a great one, now and in the future.
    Hugs x x x
     
  5. bevsy

    bevsy Full Member

    Posts:
    206
    Likes Received:
    3
    Start Weight:
    18st8lb
    Current Weight:
    13st10lb
    Goal Weight:
    12st2lb
    Lost(%):
    4st12lb(26.15%)
    Diet:
    calorie count
    Sadly for some reason people can be quite cutting when you lose weight, they tell you you look ill and you must be starving yourself to lose the amount of weight that you are.
    Ive done mine for health reasons not to make others jealous but there`s some funny people in this world.
    Ignore negative and embrace positive. :0)
     
  6. Jupiter

    Jupiter Full Member

    Posts:
    344
    Likes Received:
    8
    Jealous!:D

    Simple as that!
     
  7. Circes

    Circes Strutting her stuff

    Posts:
    7,766
    Likes Received:
    201
    Start Weight:
    17st12lb
    Current Weight:
    10st7lb
    Lost(%):
    7st5lb(41.2%)
    Badges:
    Maintainer
    Diet:
    Slimming World
    People can only put you down if you let them! Block her on Facebook so you don't need to see what she is saying and get on with your life. Or if you really want to reply then tell her that you think 4 hours a week for a limited period of time is a good sacrifice if it means you will get years more time to spend with her in the long run.
     
  8. Noddynoobs

    Noddynoobs Full Member

    Posts:
    291
    Likes Received:
    4
    Start Weight:
    11st10lb
    Current Weight:
    10st3.5lb
    Goal Weight:
    10st0lb
    Lost(%):
    1st6.5lb(12.5%)
    i think she's jealous. some people are not happy unless they are having a b*tch about something! she obv has nothing better in her life to concentrate on!
     
  9. JackJane

    JackJane Full Member

    Posts:
    151
    Likes Received:
    1
    Start Weight:
    13st4.0lb
    Current Weight:
    13st4.0lb
    Goal Weight:
    11st5.0lb
    Lost(%):
    0st0lb(0%)
    Diet:
    Slimming World
    These will be the same people that would make snide comments when you were overweight? Same thing happened to me - just ignore them!
     
  10. Funky_Munky

    Funky_Munky Put the kettle on

    Posts:
    824
    Likes Received:
    9
    Start Weight:
    10st12lb
    Current Weight:
    10st12lb
    Lost(%):
    0st0lb(0%)
    People will always have something to say about you regardless so just ignore them.
     
  11. Rahrah

    Rahrah Member

    Posts:
    32
    Likes Received:
    0
    Start Weight:
    12st9lb
    Current Weight:
    10st12lb
    Goal Weight:
    9st7lb
    Lost(%):
    1st11lb(14.12%)
    Diet:
    slimming world now weightwatchers
    Morning all
    I'm so glad I've seen this thread today I'm having the same trouble but with my parents always calling this a silly diet and I will soon b back to normal ... I did say it's nit a diet it's a healthy way of living and I'm in this for the long run it's so hurtful I'm so happy with myself my partner kids and friend all say I'm looking well and I've done well .. Well people need to be so hurtful xx
     
  12. katty

    katty Silver Member

    Posts:
    756
    Likes Received:
    6
    Start Weight:
    14st6lb
    Current Weight:
    14st6lb
    Goal Weight:
    12st7lb
    Lost(%):
    0st0lb(0%)
    Diet:
    slimming world
    i've leanrt to let it go straight over my head, i've had a few remarks. how the hell i can be scrawny enough to 'fit in a toilet roll tube' is beyond me when i am still over 11 stone.....yep thats what my best friend told me in a text the other day, she may have meant it in a 'nice' way but she slipped up when she said to me 'are you sure you aren't obsessing over it now that you are smaller than me?'
    sometimes i don't think people realise what is actually coming out of their mouths, i just don't bother trying to justify myself anymore, its them that are making themselves look like idiots, and yep that includes my best friend as much as i love her to pieces.
    just hold your head high and be proud of what you are doing for yourself, i do, and it riles them even more :)
     
  13. darkangel001

    darkangel001 Full Member

    Posts:
    85
    Likes Received:
    1
    Diet:
    Slimming World
    Pure jealousy and pettiness. Don't let it get to you- if you are the confronting type, let her know that her behaviour is completely unacceptable and if she doesn't change you will just have to remove her toxic presence in your life.

    Not being rude but 4hours a week- IS NOTHING! People are obsessed that full time mothers should always feel guilty for not spending time with their kids.

    If people are so obsessed about it, maybe you ought to ask for a percentage of their wages so you can be a stay at home mom...
     
  14. kingleds

    kingleds Gold Member

    Posts:
    5,816
    Likes Received:
    82
    Diet:
    SW all the way
    Pretty sure that its none of this persons business how you & your husband decide to bring up your children, and hiw much time you both spend with them. It may be harsh, but I would probably be tempted to explain to this person in the nicest terms possible, that spending 4 hours a week in the gym now to improve your health is far more sensible than sticking your head in the sand, and dying at a young age from a weight related illness. This might seem a overly dramatic statement to make but it is true. My farther was overweight all my childhood - and as a single father spent every waking moment he was not working with myself and my sister. Until once day when I was 15 he died as a result of not looking after himself, If you had told me that my dad could have prolonged his life by taking some more time for himself, and treating himself better, BUT, it would mean he couldn't help me with my homework for 2 hours a night, or cook me dinner every night, or take me horse riding every Saturday etc etc , I'd have taken that in a shot. Your family member does not know what they are talking about. Tell them so and do not pull any punches.

    Sorry, that turned into a right rant - was not my intention but I get so mad when people think they have the right tell other people how to raise their kids.
     
  15. AnnaFaraday

    AnnaFaraday ..

    Posts:
    2,562
    Likes Received:
    46
    For some people you can never do anything right. If you spent every waking hour with your child they would tell you to get out more!

    You don't have to justify yourself or your actions to anyone else. If your daughter is having this one-to-one time with her father then that is good for you, good for her, good for him. I remember times spent on my own with my father with great pleasure - we did things together that the rest of the family weren't interested in and had a great time.

    Why it is that some people seem to get their fun out of negativity and putting people down is one of the world's great mysteries! Feel sorry for them if you can, but please do ignore what they say.
     
  16. Lily42uk

    Lily42uk Gold Member

    Posts:
    8,333
    Likes Received:
    32
    Start Weight:
    32st7lb
    Current Weight:
    22st7lb
    Goal Weight:
    12st7lb
    Lost(%):
    10st0lb(30.77%)
    Diet:
    S/W EE
    Definitely ignore it hun, I have a family member who have said all the same things to me over the years, you are right in the fact that what you are doing it setting a great example to your daughter and she will totally benefit from one to one time with her daddy. I have 2 grown up daughters and I made a point of spending at least 1 night a week away from them, so that they learnt that mummy and daddy aren't just mummy and daddy and so that my husband and I still had a life together when they had grown and flown the nest. My eldest daughter is married and my youngest is getting married next year. Both of them have a great relationship with both myself and their father and my husband and I are still very much in love after 36 years and still spend time out together and will continue to do so till we drop....and still the same person who made all the comments years ago carries on making them today, I have truly learnt to ignore her and even feel sorry for her and I think while she's back biting about me, she's leaving someone else alone. Gl hun and you keep on doing what you're doing.

    Lily x
     
  17. Mini_Mog

    Mini_Mog Silver Member

    Posts:
    1,204
    Likes Received:
    3
    Start Weight:
    16st5.5lb
    Current Weight:
    14st8.5lb
    Lost(%):
    1st11lb(10.89%)
    Diet:
    VLCD, slimming world (currently)
    Thank you for all your replies:) I think I really need to stop caring what this family member thinks, and I do need to assertively but politely tell her where to go. If it wasn't who it is I wouldn't be as tolerant as I have been.

    I'm doing this for my health and I love my gym sessions, they are my stress relief as well as exercise. My daughter has a happier, healthier mummy as a result. Only good things in my opinion!
     
  18. Lily42uk

    Lily42uk Gold Member

    Posts:
    8,333
    Likes Received:
    32
    Start Weight:
    32st7lb
    Current Weight:
    22st7lb
    Goal Weight:
    12st7lb
    Lost(%):
    10st0lb(30.77%)
    Diet:
    S/W EE
    Good for you, that's the spirit, don't let them get to you. You are doing a great job and it can only be good for your daughter, teaching her the right way to eat and the right life style choices can't be wrong xx
     
Popular Forums
  1. MiniMins.com is a weight loss support community helping each other on their weight loss journey. We have a multitude of forums, from Slimming World and Exante, to Success Stories. Click the logo at the top right to return to the forum home page at any time.
Loading...