Friends/family's negative remarks abput your success?

[Mini_Mog]

Before I start this post, most of my friends, my parents & husband have been 100% supportive of my weightloss and increasing fitness. They are happy that I'm happier & healthier.

The same can't be said for a family member (who will remain nameless) who thinks I'm selfish for going to sw and gym for a few hrs a week- basically selfish for leaving my daughter with her daddy for maybe 4 hrs a week! Yes, I work full time, but I'm also working on being a healthy mum for the rest of my daughter's life!
And also her favourite comment is 'don't get too thin, you were too thin last time, you looked ill'. My parents and husband on the otherhand said I looked fab and healthy. I was well within the healthy weight range for my height.

The latest comment was a bit of a snidey one on a Facebook status from a friend's mother hinting that sw is taking over my life.

Anyone else getting reactions like this too? I find it quite upsetting almost that I feel so good & happy and people can't just leave me be.

 

[nc1967]

Sounds like a case of jealousy to me. you are doing fantastic, and always remember on facebook, you can delete posts out of your news feed, or even block items - so use that!!

 

[Lindam]

Only you know what is right for you and your family, if that is for you to follow SW and go to the gym then so be it. As we all know our children follow our example, and it is fantastic that you are showing your daughter a healthy lifestyle.
It is hurtful for people to put insinuations on Facebook, but it says more about their lives than yours....how sad are they.
Rise above it, knowing that you are doing everything in your power to make your family life a great one, now and in the future.
Hugs x x x

 

[bevsy]

Sadly for some reason people can be quite cutting when you lose weight, they tell you you look ill and you must be starving yourself to lose the amount of weight that you are.
Ive done mine for health reasons not to make others jealous but there`s some funny people in this world.
Ignore negative and embrace positive. :0)

 

[Jupiter]

Jealous!

Simple as that!

 

[Circes]

People can only put you down if you let them! Block her on Facebook so you don't need to see what she is saying and get on with your life. Or if you really want to reply then tell her that you think 4 hours a week for a limited period of time is a good sacrifice if it means you will get years more time to spend with her in the long run.

 

[Noddynoobs]

i think she's jealous. some people are not happy unless they are having a b*tch about something! she obv has nothing better in her life to concentrate on!

 

[JackJane]

These will be the same people that would make snide comments when you were overweight? Same thing happened to me - just ignore them!

 

[Funky_Munky]

People will always have something to say about you regardless so just ignore them.

 

[Rahrah]

Morning all
I'm so glad I've seen this thread today I'm having the same trouble but with my parents always calling this a silly diet and I will soon b back to normal ... I did say it's nit a diet it's a healthy way of living and I'm in this for the long run it's so hurtful I'm so happy with myself my partner kids and friend all say I'm looking well and I've done well .. Well people need to be so hurtful xx

 

[katty]

i've leanrt to let it go straight over my head, i've had a few remarks. how the hell i can be scrawny enough to 'fit in a toilet roll tube' is beyond me when i am still over 11 stone.....yep thats what my best friend told me in a text the other day, she may have meant it in a 'nice' way but she slipped up when she said to me 'are you sure you aren't obsessing over it now that you are smaller than me?'
sometimes i don't think people realise what is actually coming out of their mouths, i just don't bother trying to justify myself anymore, its them that are making themselves look like idiots, and yep that includes my best friend as much as i love her to pieces.
just hold your head high and be proud of what you are doing for yourself, i do, and it riles them even more

 

[darkangel001]

Pure jealousy and pettiness. Don't let it get to you- if you are the confronting type, let her know that her behaviour is completely unacceptable and if she doesn't change you will just have to remove her toxic presence in your life.

Not being rude but 4hours a week- IS NOTHING! People are obsessed that full time mothers should always feel guilty for not spending time with their kids.

If people are so obsessed about it, maybe you ought to ask for a percentage of their wages so you can be a stay at home mom...

 

[kingleds]

Pretty sure that its none of this persons business how you & your husband decide to bring up your children, and hiw much time you both spend with them. It may be harsh, but I would probably be tempted to explain to this person in the nicest terms possible, that spending 4 hours a week in the gym now to improve your health is far more sensible than sticking your head in the sand, and dying at a young age from a weight related illness. This might seem a overly dramatic statement to make but it is true. My farther was overweight all my childhood - and as a single father spent every waking moment he was not working with myself and my sister. Until once day when I was 15 he died as a result of not looking after himself, If you had told me that my dad could have prolonged his life by taking some more time for himself, and treating himself better, BUT, it would mean he couldn't help me with my homework for 2 hours a night, or cook me dinner every night, or take me horse riding every Saturday etc etc , I'd have taken that in a shot. Your family member does not know what they are talking about. Tell them so and do not pull any punches.

Sorry, that turned into a right rant - was not my intention but I get so mad when people think they have the right tell other people how to raise their kids.

 

[AnnaFaraday]

For some people you can never do anything right. If you spent every waking hour with your child they would tell you to get out more!

You don't have to justify yourself or your actions to anyone else. If your daughter is having this one-to-one time with her father then that is good for you, good for her, good for him. I remember times spent on my own with my father with great pleasure - we did things together that the rest of the family weren't interested in and had a great time.

Why it is that some people seem to get their fun out of negativity and putting people down is one of the world's great mysteries! Feel sorry for them if you can, but please do ignore what they say.

 

[Lily42uk]

Definitely ignore it hun, I have a family member who have said all the same things to me over the years, you are right in the fact that what you are doing it setting a great example to your daughter and she will totally benefit from one to one time with her daddy. I have 2 grown up daughters and I made a point of spending at least 1 night a week away from them, so that they learnt that mummy and daddy aren't just mummy and daddy and so that my husband and I still had a life together when they had grown and flown the nest. My eldest daughter is married and my youngest is getting married next year. Both of them have a great relationship with both myself and their father and my husband and I are still very much in love after 36 years and still spend time out together and will continue to do so till we drop....and still the same person who made all the comments years ago carries on making them today, I have truly learnt to ignore her and even feel sorry for her and I think while she's back biting about me, she's leaving someone else alone. Gl hun and you keep on doing what you're doing.

Lily x

 

[Mini_Mog]

Thank you for all your replies I think I really need to stop caring what this family member thinks, and I do need to assertively but politely tell her where to go. If it wasn't who it is I wouldn't be as tolerant as I have been.

I'm doing this for my health and I love my gym sessions, they are my stress relief as well as exercise. My daughter has a happier, healthier mummy as a result. Only good things in my opinion!

 

[Lily42uk]

Good for you, that's the spirit, don't let them get to you. You are doing a great job and it can only be good for your daughter, teaching her the right way to eat and the right life style choices can't be wrong xx