Feeling so disappointed in myself this morning. I got really grumpy after the burger went wrong and ended up having a mini-binge. I say mini because really it was only 2 choc digestive biscuits, about 6 of those chewy cola bottle sweets and one of those little packets of parma violets (tiny sweets). In total it was easily under 300 calories (so under 15 syns), so as long as I'm good for the rest of the week I should be ok on the scales. It's just the lack of control I hate, I didn't even enjoy it!
Then after the 'binge' I got kinda down on myself about my weight. Sounds daft but when I was at my biggest I didn't think about it much. I was completely detached from my body in a way, I'd just fuel it on rubbish and not care about the consequences. Anyway, now I feel a lot more at peace with myself, but at the same time I'm much more aware of how big I am. I know I'm nowhere near like I was before, but I definitely feel more body conscious if that makes sense. I know I look better, but I still feel fat. Which is fair enough really, I AM fat, but I guess after losing 5 stone I didn't expect to feel like that.
I'm sure these next couple of stones are going to have a massive impact on how I look and feel in myself. That's the best bit about weight loss, the more we lose the bigger the impact each pound has on how we look. I just wonder if I'll ever get to the stage where I feel truly happy with myself.
-------------------------------------
Anyway, line drawn and back on plan today. No point focussing on the negative, I've come a long way and although I've got a long way left to go I'm going to do it!
It's a gorgeous day today in Yorkshire, really don't feel like studying with the sun shining outside but it's got to be done. The landlord is popping round in a bit to fix something, but soon as he's been think I'm going in the garden to study outside. Its too nice to be cooped up!
Week 30, Day 6 - Red
Breakfast - Grapes
Lunch - wm base (2 x hexb) pizza with cheese (2 x hexa), tomato and onion
Snack - Cadburys caramel - 9.5 syns
Tea - Salad
Dessert - Banana, squirty cream (2 syns) and caramel sauce (3 syns) - 5 syns
Total - 14.5 syns
Might not have the chicken and bacon roll later if I'm feeling full up still, will see how it goes. The salad is a decent size in itself so might not need it. I always find after I've weighed in and the day after I eat more than I do the rest of the week! Anyone else find that?
---
Rochelle - Yeah I think the oven is the way to go, he fried them and although they looked well cooked on the outside they obviously didn't cook through! Burger press sounds like a good idea too, when Chris makes them they look like boulders, LOL! x
Mrs Ginger - Thanks hunny! Hope you're having a lovely weekend x
GillJo - Thanks hun, I'm not always positive and have my moments like last night, but really try to focus on the good stuff when it comes to weight loss. It's an incredible journey and makes sense to enjoy that journey as much as possible
x
Intoxicate - Thanks hun, I'm sooo relieved. Got absolutely sick to death of the small losses, so glad I've got a decent number at last. It's crazy to think last week I lost 50% MORE than I lost in the last THREE weeks though, WTF!!
x
Kay - Thanks mi dears, hope you had a nice time yesterday! The reason for no sticker is the fact I didn't start SW until after I'd already lost my first stone, so I've only 'officially' lost 4st with SW. It's annoying always being a stone behind though!
I'm so glad I don't have to change things around just yet. I'm sure when I'm nearer target I'll need to change to red days and things, but with so much left to lose I don't want to have to do that just yet! Just hope I get a decent loss next week and then I'll feel like things are back on track again. Hows your week going so far? Feeling positive for Tue? xx
