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Furious row.. now want to eat...Help me

I've just had the most horrendous row with my Sister and it's left me in such a state, she's such a selfish moo and usually I can rise above it ( she breezes into my life so rarely that it's easy to ignore ) but this time I can't, it's so bad that my 14 year son has pushed me onto the pc shouting to 'vent dammit' and has stopped me as I started on a pack of ham and won't leave the fridge door unguarded. Sorry troops for this but I need someone to give a sh*t as my Sis clearly doesn't. Sorry, I haven't said it all, I was informed by my Breast Care Consultant yesterday that I'll be having radical surgery in April ( History of all sorts of nasties etc) and I'm feeling a bit distracted today and when Sis pitched up after 10 mins accused me of not caring about her and she may as well go blah blah, then I 'put her hat on straight' as it were and blirted it all out. She just shouted at me that I am prickly and arsey and that she didn't want to speak to me and will when I calm down. Then stormed off so tears streaming, expletives flying i threw myself into the ham. This is coming out all wrong so I'm sorry if it doesn't make sense. Plus my daughter was listening and I haven't told anyone yet - My OH is up in Sutton Coldfield today helping his Mum sort stuff and I don't want to worry him.. blah blah I sound like a right misery and I am so not like that. I'm so angry but I'm not good at doing that emotion either. PLEASE STOP ME GOING BACK INTO THE FRIDGE AND UNDOING ALL THAT I HAVE S*DDING WELL DONE PLEASE (oh and Sis's a slinky size 8 and didn't even notice I've lost weight either BTW)
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sorry you are going through this. The food wont make you feel better it will make you feel much worse about yourself. Why dont you see if your son and daughter will go for a walk with you to help you calm down and distract yourself from the fridge

sil x


Silver Member
S: 21st7lb C: 10st8lb G: 12st0lb BMI: 21.9 Loss: 10st13lb(50.83%)
:grouphugg:you sound like you having a really bad time sending you a hug .And dont let the b**tard get you down hun dont let her win xxxx Im really bad at the advise stuff but Im here for you to rant to when it gets too much xxxx
Firstly - what a shitty experience you've just had.
Now, look at what your son has done for you - you cant eat cos it's be throwing his help back in his face. We are surrounded by people who want nothing more than to feel good by hurting others, and yet look at what your boy has done for you! What a star he is!

As for your surgery, hopefully it'll mean the end of your problems, it sounds like you have a lot of care and love around you.

You dont need to eat hun, you have obviously been through a lot and are still standing strong. Now, get a grip, get that chin up and go get a pint of water. Be proud of yourself, and give your son a huge from me. I think you should rent him out to us lot - a fridge guard :D

Your size 8 sister probably doesnt want you stealing her glory - jealousy is ugly xxxx
Thank you so much, I've calmed down and drinking water as I type, you're right, I have people that love me but I suppose I snapped when the one person who is meant to care is such a hard-ar*ed cow, I shouldn't be surprised - our mum died of cancer 13 years ago and our Dad died last year and neither event got between her and herself so why am I surprised? You're so lovely and thank you again, I would like to point out that contrary to recent behavior I'm not a hysterical drama queen! (well...?) I'm just appalled at the speed my hand reached the fridge and how quick I was to balls it all up - wow! Thank you sooooo much I am very grateful to you xx
thats what we are here for :)

If I knew how to copy the hugs I'd send them to you! But I'm cr*p at techie stuff but thank you so much for the hugs too you're lovely Mandy, Sils and BG really lovely x
when you reply, "go advanced" and select the "more" under the smileys. Another window will open, and just click on the one you want, it should be inserted into your reply xxxx


Needs a flattering photo
Your son sounds lovely, and your sister an a**e. Bigs hugs from me to you. Glad you stopped on here and calmed down a bit. Keep your chin up!
S: 11st13lb C: 11st13lb G: 8st7lb BMI: 30.5 Loss: 0st0lb(0%)
Hello georgeous x

Now you keep that head up of yours and ignore your sister ok? and your son is a star for helping block you from the fridge. What fantastic support you have there :)

now you take care of yourself and don't give in xxxxxx
Thank you Bobbin and Fuffa! I'm calm now and feel soooo much better! been reading the gonk thread and laughed myself jolly again, you're right she's an ar*e and I'd rather be me then that wisened old fruit anyday!! My kids don't want me to ruin the work I'v put in and I'm grateful to them and you guys for your thought, I'm humbled actually and damn glad i found this forum - what a Godsend!! xx:party0019: and thanks to Blue grapefruit I can do this now toooooo!!! xxx:D
S: 11st13lb C: 11st13lb G: 8st7lb BMI: 30.5 Loss: 0st0lb(0%)
Yay excellent attuitude you have there :D xx
How's it going now BB. Just been reading through this thread; you have a lot going on in your life right now and I am not surprised you and "sister dearest" have come to blows. She obviously has different priorities to you and you must look out for your own first and foremost. Your son sounds like he might even be "your best friend" and we all need those, dont we. Your weight loss is not only important for your health and self esteem but in being able to deal with the issues you may be facing with possible surgery. Your best chances of success will come from carrying less weight, both for any surgery and the recovery process. This forum and all the great people on it can also become your "next best friends" in that you can vent your spleen at any time and know that someone is listening to you and cares for the outcome. Being involved on here also is the greatest physical and mental distraction from the urge to open the fridge door. Be careful though not to ignore those "best friends" at home though - and take time out to do pleasureable things with them too; walks n' chats and outside entertainments too. Anything that helps to keep you focussed on your weight loss and show them at the same time just how important they are in your life.
Unless your sister is in some distress and really needs you, time out with her can be put on the back burner; she may need time to reflect on the affect her behaviour has had on you. No need to be jealous of her size by the way, she has other issues that are far greater. No one, but no one is perfect in this world of ours. You are numero uno in your life followed by your own family as a very close second - do not forget that. I am one of three sisters and we are all different, you can only live your own life and its what you do with your life that is all important. Hugs and more hugs .... take care.:grouphugg: :flowers:
Thank you Di sooo much. I can't even re-read the post - I'm embarrassed because it was so raw and honest, which is quite something for me (not the honest bit I can't lie! :eek:but the fact that I was so honest with my feelings and anger another emotion I'm not familiar with!) because of my family history I'm due for a double mastectomy very soon with reconstruction work at the same time (if all ok) or later depending. I've been trying to stop my son breast-feeding (only at night and not much he's 3 for goodness sake!) but my Surgeon has insisted this because I've got a Mammogram and ultrasound end of March and depending on result surgery in April. I'm delighted because at least all going well I won't have to worry about my 'ticking time-bombs' anymore!! It was the fact that my Sis is so one dimensional sometimes I want to scream!! She should be checking herself out etc but she's so blase about everything it scares me. Thank you for your lovely words, Minimins is the best place because we're all banging the same drum ultimately and there are some wonderful ladies (and Gents I'm sure!) on here who are so supportive. I don't want to sound like I'm bleating because I'm happy that I can try to have some control with my life unlike my relatives etc (even though I'm struggling controlling what I put in my mouth at the mo!!:eek:)

Once again thank you Di, you're a lovely lady and this place is a great place for support from some truly lovely people (I'm hoping some of that will rub off!!) :D Much love bb xxx
Hi again - you have more than enough to think about with all this going on, anyone going through all of this stuff will feel raw and you may have rightly expected a little more understanding from your sister. I suppose she might have wanted you to worry more about her than think too much about what is going on in your own life - or maybe I am being too charitable.
My best friend went through the same about 6 years ago and all the reconstruction work; she came through very well and is just regularly checked to ensure it is a thing of the past. You must focus on your own health and stop stressing about others in the meantime; your sister can wait - dont allow yourself to dwell on your issues with her. There is a time and a place for everything in your life and she is not as high up on the list as you or your own family. Stay strong and watch the weight doesn't creep up - you owe it to yourself to be in the fittest condition possible for the op. Remember to chill out when you are in a position to do so. If you get the urge to look for comfort via food etc. try relaxing in a bath or re-discover a favourite past time. It's always your best first option. :wavey:

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