Discussion in 'Lighter Life Forum' started by mac79, 23 January 2007 Social URL.

  1. mac79

    mac79 Member

    Hi Gaijingirl
    I just wanted to say that I read your blog with much interest. Sometimes it seems as though you are writing my thoughts down. I looked at your weightloss - you are doing so well. Fabulous. Can I just ask - have you managed to control the bulimia totally whilst on LL? I'm struggling. Not with packs but with eating illicit food! Like you I am an all or nothing kinda gal. I am also a very bad perfectionist - I never quite get there. It can be crippling sometimes.

    But really I just wanted to say - your blog is really touching and provoking (in the best sense of course!) and well done!
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  3. gaijingirl

    gaijingirl has lying hips

    Thanks! Yes, I have managed to stick to LL 100% and have not eaten at all. This is largely out of fear I think. Obviously I'm very scared about going back to food - not just the bingeing and putting on weight - but of course the purging is something I don't want to revisit. I've been bulimic to a greater or lesser extent for the last 11 years. I started b/p-ing after I last lost lots of weight (5.5 stone). I don't know whether it was fear of regaining or some other reason. So of course, I'm particularly worried now.

    But, this time round I'm losing weight as part of a specific programme with a lot of support and a structured maintenance element.

    Thanks for your support - never sure if anyone is reading - or even if I should be putting some of this stuff out there - but in a way it's cathartic and sort of works as an admission, as much to myself, as to anyone else.

    Of course there's loads more deeper, darker stuff in my head - I wonder if gradually being able to say such things publicly is part of the healing process. Will I ever be able to say it all - do I need to?

    Anyway, a bazillion questions as always.

    :rolleyes: :D
  4. gaijingirl

    gaijingirl has lying hips

    BTW - well done to you too - you're going great guns! :)
  5. mac79

    mac79 Member

    If keeping your blog helps then go for it. I need to write things down and I use a black moleskin diary which goes everywhere with me! I think it can be such a useful aid to the healing process. I can also use it to monitor my wobbles (and there are many). You are inspiring me. If someone else can get a handle on their ED then I can too. I don't want that to run my life even when the fat has gone. I want to run my own life!!! I also think that writing time is thinking time for me. Any by writing thoughts down you can also see what a loon you are being - those crooked thoughts. I for one need to stop the B and P as I know this is having an effect on my weight loss because I keep getting knocked out of ketosis.

    But really - I just wanted to let you know that you are inspiring to say the least x
  6. Treefrog

    Treefrog slimmer...

    Start Weight:
    Current Weight:
    Goal Weight:
    sensible and veggie
    Hi GaijinGirl! Thanks for your words of advice that prompted me to start here. Getting ready to start my own LL odyssey...
    gaijingirl likes this.
  7. gaijingirl

    gaijingirl has lying hips

    YAY! Go Treefrog!! I'm massively impressed at your capacity to make a decision and stick to it with the drinking and smoking. You're going to sail through this I reckon!! :)
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