General WeMitt Thread w/c 9 April
- Thread starter IreneH
- Start date
Russiandoll
Carpe diem
It's good to be home. I feel like I'm waking up from a horrible dream! I've been in a hormonal fog for the past 8 weeks but hopefully it's all behind me now.
Ann - more than happy to join you in in a new 'CD offensive'. I never reached goal and now need to lose nearly 5st to get there - I could kick myself but I'm happy to lay a large part of the blame at the door of the Depo Provera jab I had - heinous injection!!
Anyhoo ... no point crying over spilt milk. Let's get back on the wagon and move things in the right direction
Great to be in touch with you all again!
Huge hugs
Ann - more than happy to join you in in a new 'CD offensive'. I never reached goal and now need to lose nearly 5st to get there - I could kick myself but I'm happy to lay a large part of the blame at the door of the Depo Provera jab I had - heinous injection!!
Anyhoo ... no point crying over spilt milk. Let's get back on the wagon and move things in the right direction
Great to be in touch with you all again!
Huge hugs
Russiandoll
Carpe diem
Looks like a few of us are aiming to get back on the wagon ... it's so good to know I'm not alone. I never stopped being a wemitt (or I wouldn't be back here) so let's all walk the walk together
mrs tweedy
Regular Member
:wave_cry: Hello wemitts, sorry for being awol for all this time but I am only just feeling able to post again.
I have lurked and tried to keep up with all your news and achievements and I have silently been willing you all on from my silent lil corner of the world.
Well where to start?
1st the diet : it has been sort of crappy lately as I think I messed up my metabolism big style (I didn't eat a thing for 3 whole weeks, not a single pack or morsel of food but I did consume vast quantities of vodka, ) and now that I am back on my packs (and have been for a few weeks now) my weight seems to be stuck in a permanent state of limbo and wont budge, I am now 16st 7lbs and have been for as long as I can remember (despite ssing) grrr it is my own silly fault for not ssing and stopping eating then drinking etc... but I did have good reasons which brings me onto the reason I have been awol...
I have been with my partner for 13.5 years (since I was 19) and recently found out he had been cheating on me (I found an email that he had written to his other woman).
Then after much deliberations and heartache I forgave him, (stupid cow arent I- but i still loved him) we tried to sort things out and had a lovely couple of weeks and then came valentines day all loving and perfect with gorgeous cards and teddybears, and it was all perfect and more loving than it had been in years, but then to my utter astonishment he finished our relationship 2 days later on 16th Feb, told me he didnt love me anymore and that i had to move out of his home asap (lovely eh? he had been living under my roof for all those years and then not even 7 months since buying this house (which is in his name) I am being made homeless!!!
Anyhow I have spent the last few weeks lurching from feeling angry, desperately sad, and depressed, confused and heartbroken to just numb,
How can he do this to me?
How can he be so cruel? (a lot more things have surfaced in these past few weeks it seems that he has cheated on me on more than 5 occassions over the years - how could i have been so blind?
and I overheard him on the phone to his awful sister (who has always been hostile towards me) telling her he "HATED" me and cant wait to see the back of me?!?!?! What the hell did I do to deserve the hate? I am desperately trying to secure new housing but it isnt that easy and due to my agoraphobia it is a logistical nightmare - but I am trying to get out asap and throughout all this i have remained civil towards him (even nice) but he just creates arguments on a daily basis and keeps on trying to hurt me in so many ways, He has even tried intimidating me by punching holes in the walls like in his warped little mind that might shift me sooner,? but I am going as fast as I possibly can, I am on the phone and emailing housing associations and the council daily but I am at the mercy of others and I just cant make him understand that I am trying my best to leave, but it does not seem good enough for him.
I am ashamed to admit that I have even seriously contemplated suicide, and when I said that to him he said "good I will get rid of you sooner then, and I will keep all your furniture, and its a pity the insurance wouldnt pay out for suicide cos I would be able to pay off the mortgage" I mean what kind of heartless monster would say those things to someone who feels they have lost everything worth living for and cant see any joy for the future?
I asked him why he was so horrible and what had I done? and he just shrugged his shoulders and smirked - now I have found out he is dating an 18yr old (I heard him bragging to his sister about her on the phone) so i told him i find him disgusting and that he is bordering on paedophilia and that he is 16yrs older than her so should know better but it all fell on deaf ears he just told me to get out of his house!
I wish I could get out of his house, I wish it were that easy and I wish I didnt feel so sad about it all because I so want to hate him, I think if I could hate him I'd feel so much better and find it all easier but I just cannot bring myself to hate him - I am such a fool.
I was on the phone to my sister the other night and he came in and was screaming at me arguing etc and thats when he punched a hole in the wall upstairs (and I genuinely believed he was gonna punch me) so i told my sister if i didnt ring her back within a minute to call the police (I was in an abusive relationship before I was with Peter and he knows how violence affects me) but he still did that and then the following day I overheard him laughing about it on the phone (with his mate or his sister) how funny it was that i had flinched and how I was scared - and I felt so sick to my stomach to think that he could actively be so cruel, knowing how I felt about violence?
He had punched a hole in the kitchen wall previously when I had told him it may take up to 3 months or more for me to find alternative accommodation…
when we were together even if he made a sudden move towards me for a hug or whatever I would often flinch away on instinct after being in an abusive relationship, so he knows how intimidated his punching holes in the walls would make me feel and yet he did it and even laughed about it bragging on the phone and so i confronted him about it and he said "you know i'd never hurt you" .... then he paused and said "physically" like what is that supposed to mean? he will be cruel emotionally and try to push me over the edge (to which I am very near I can tell you) I mean I am so shocked at his behaviour and it seems like every new day brings new revelations and new heartaches for me and I just want him to stop being cruel, i know it is over between us but i never wanted all this animosity and nastiness, i just wanted to move out and never look back but he is trying his level best to grind me down and i do not know how much more I can take.
There is so much more that has been going on that I cant even bring myself to write, but I am just so deflated by it all and I wish it would all stop.
Smirnoff have been doing very well of late though due to the vast quantities I have been drinking lol (I hadn't drank for over 11 years but I have more than made up for it in these past 2 months)!!!!!!!!!
I am so sorry guys for such a miserable and long post but i just needed to vent, and I wanted you all to know that i havent abandoned you and still care about you all so much, I will try to be a better wemitt in the future I promise...
I have lurked and tried to keep up with all your news and achievements and I have silently been willing you all on from my silent lil corner of the world.
Well where to start?
1st the diet : it has been sort of crappy lately as I think I messed up my metabolism big style (I didn't eat a thing for 3 whole weeks, not a single pack or morsel of food but I did consume vast quantities of vodka, ) and now that I am back on my packs (and have been for a few weeks now) my weight seems to be stuck in a permanent state of limbo and wont budge, I am now 16st 7lbs and have been for as long as I can remember (despite ssing) grrr it is my own silly fault for not ssing and stopping eating then drinking etc... but I did have good reasons which brings me onto the reason I have been awol...
I have been with my partner for 13.5 years (since I was 19) and recently found out he had been cheating on me (I found an email that he had written to his other woman).
Then after much deliberations and heartache I forgave him, (stupid cow arent I- but i still loved him) we tried to sort things out and had a lovely couple of weeks and then came valentines day all loving and perfect with gorgeous cards and teddybears, and it was all perfect and more loving than it had been in years, but then to my utter astonishment he finished our relationship 2 days later on 16th Feb, told me he didnt love me anymore and that i had to move out of his home asap (lovely eh? he had been living under my roof for all those years and then not even 7 months since buying this house (which is in his name) I am being made homeless!!!
Anyhow I have spent the last few weeks lurching from feeling angry, desperately sad, and depressed, confused and heartbroken to just numb,
How can he do this to me?
How can he be so cruel? (a lot more things have surfaced in these past few weeks it seems that he has cheated on me on more than 5 occassions over the years - how could i have been so blind?
and I overheard him on the phone to his awful sister (who has always been hostile towards me) telling her he "HATED" me and cant wait to see the back of me?!?!?! What the hell did I do to deserve the hate? I am desperately trying to secure new housing but it isnt that easy and due to my agoraphobia it is a logistical nightmare - but I am trying to get out asap and throughout all this i have remained civil towards him (even nice) but he just creates arguments on a daily basis and keeps on trying to hurt me in so many ways, He has even tried intimidating me by punching holes in the walls like in his warped little mind that might shift me sooner,? but I am going as fast as I possibly can, I am on the phone and emailing housing associations and the council daily but I am at the mercy of others and I just cant make him understand that I am trying my best to leave, but it does not seem good enough for him.
I am ashamed to admit that I have even seriously contemplated suicide, and when I said that to him he said "good I will get rid of you sooner then, and I will keep all your furniture, and its a pity the insurance wouldnt pay out for suicide cos I would be able to pay off the mortgage" I mean what kind of heartless monster would say those things to someone who feels they have lost everything worth living for and cant see any joy for the future?
I asked him why he was so horrible and what had I done? and he just shrugged his shoulders and smirked - now I have found out he is dating an 18yr old (I heard him bragging to his sister about her on the phone) so i told him i find him disgusting and that he is bordering on paedophilia and that he is 16yrs older than her so should know better but it all fell on deaf ears he just told me to get out of his house!
I wish I could get out of his house, I wish it were that easy and I wish I didnt feel so sad about it all because I so want to hate him, I think if I could hate him I'd feel so much better and find it all easier but I just cannot bring myself to hate him - I am such a fool.
I was on the phone to my sister the other night and he came in and was screaming at me arguing etc and thats when he punched a hole in the wall upstairs (and I genuinely believed he was gonna punch me) so i told my sister if i didnt ring her back within a minute to call the police (I was in an abusive relationship before I was with Peter and he knows how violence affects me) but he still did that and then the following day I overheard him laughing about it on the phone (with his mate or his sister) how funny it was that i had flinched and how I was scared - and I felt so sick to my stomach to think that he could actively be so cruel, knowing how I felt about violence?
He had punched a hole in the kitchen wall previously when I had told him it may take up to 3 months or more for me to find alternative accommodation…
when we were together even if he made a sudden move towards me for a hug or whatever I would often flinch away on instinct after being in an abusive relationship, so he knows how intimidated his punching holes in the walls would make me feel and yet he did it and even laughed about it bragging on the phone and so i confronted him about it and he said "you know i'd never hurt you" .... then he paused and said "physically" like what is that supposed to mean? he will be cruel emotionally and try to push me over the edge (to which I am very near I can tell you) I mean I am so shocked at his behaviour and it seems like every new day brings new revelations and new heartaches for me and I just want him to stop being cruel, i know it is over between us but i never wanted all this animosity and nastiness, i just wanted to move out and never look back but he is trying his level best to grind me down and i do not know how much more I can take.
There is so much more that has been going on that I cant even bring myself to write, but I am just so deflated by it all and I wish it would all stop.
Smirnoff have been doing very well of late though due to the vast quantities I have been drinking lol (I hadn't drank for over 11 years but I have more than made up for it in these past 2 months)!!!!!!!!!
I am so sorry guys for such a miserable and long post but i just needed to vent, and I wanted you all to know that i havent abandoned you and still care about you all so much, I will try to be a better wemitt in the future I promise...
Russiandoll
Carpe diem
You don't need to do a single thing to be a 'better wemitt' Mrs T ... You're already one of the best wemitts I've ever had the honour to meet.
Your fortitude and caring persona has always made me feel humble and now you're being treated so abysmally, I could cry for you.
As for your current situation - whatever that mindless, cruel and heartless moron might say, you don't deserve the treatment he's meting out to you.
I don't have sufficient words to express how I feel about what's happening to you - just to let you know I'm here for you... and sure every wemitt will share that sentiment.
The hugest hug
Debbie xxx
Your fortitude and caring persona has always made me feel humble and now you're being treated so abysmally, I could cry for you.
As for your current situation - whatever that mindless, cruel and heartless moron might say, you don't deserve the treatment he's meting out to you.
I don't have sufficient words to express how I feel about what's happening to you - just to let you know I'm here for you... and sure every wemitt will share that sentiment.
The hugest hug
Debbie xxx
mrs tweedy
Regular Member
Thankyou Deb, if ever a hug was gratefully received it would be today x
westhills
I STILL mean it!
Mrs Tweedy, it's so good to have you here, where you belong. I've said it before, and I'll say it again "SPEAK TO A SOLICIOR" I am reasonably sure that if you have been together for that length of time, he CANNOT throw you out, and also, if you leave, you are entitles to some financial compensation regarding the house, no matter whose name it is in. I know you're not feeling strong, but you must do this. He's treated you like a piece of sh** for too long already - don't allow him to continue. Refuse to be a victim.
Ann xxx
Ann xxx
mrs tweedy
Regular Member
Thanks Ann, I did ring the CAB and they pretty much said the same but to be honest I dont want anything from im other than space to sort out alternative living arrangements and then i will be gone from his life, but it just seems like he cant even afford me that much after 13.5 yrs... I just dont know what i ever did wrong to deserve this you know I really do understand that relationships end, and people fall out of love but the cruelty is something I cannot come to terms with becaue it is so unfair and unjust, its just so wrong, so very wrong.
My sister said she will appoint a solicitor for me if needed but to be honest I didnt want it to come to that I just wanted to walk away with as much dignity as I could muster but it seems like the only way now is hostility and it just hurts my heart so much that he feels so hostile towards me and i dont even know why?
but what doesnt kill us makes us stronger and if I manage to get through all this i will be the strongest person i know lol
x thanks for your continued support, i know i havent replied to many of yours and other wemitts emails but they have meant so much to me x
My sister said she will appoint a solicitor for me if needed but to be honest I didnt want it to come to that I just wanted to walk away with as much dignity as I could muster but it seems like the only way now is hostility and it just hurts my heart so much that he feels so hostile towards me and i dont even know why?
but what doesnt kill us makes us stronger and if I manage to get through all this i will be the strongest person i know lol
x thanks for your continued support, i know i havent replied to many of yours and other wemitts emails but they have meant so much to me x
westhills
I STILL mean it!
Bad things happen to good people Mrs T, it's not fair, it's not right, but it happens. God doesn't pay his debts with money, and this man will surely pay one day for the way he is treating you.
BUT, what you want is for him to be kind and give you space and he isn't going to do this. You may not want a solicitor, but you most certainly do NEED one. Make life difficult for him, and he'll be only too pleased to give you "space" - he thinks he has all the cards at the moment. You MUST find some strength from somewhere and stand up to him. If you act like a doormat, he WILL walk all over you.
Get help, and you know what they say - don't get mad, get even, and also, revenge is a dish best served cold. Your day will come. I'm sure part of you still loves this man who has turned into a monster, but it is not enough. You really will get over it, one day. And you're so right - what doesn't kill us makes us stronger.
much love, Ann xxx
BUT, what you want is for him to be kind and give you space and he isn't going to do this. You may not want a solicitor, but you most certainly do NEED one. Make life difficult for him, and he'll be only too pleased to give you "space" - he thinks he has all the cards at the moment. You MUST find some strength from somewhere and stand up to him. If you act like a doormat, he WILL walk all over you.
Get help, and you know what they say - don't get mad, get even, and also, revenge is a dish best served cold. Your day will come. I'm sure part of you still loves this man who has turned into a monster, but it is not enough. You really will get over it, one day. And you're so right - what doesn't kill us makes us stronger.
much love, Ann xxx
mrs tweedy
Regular Member
Thanks Ann, I know you are right, I suppose it may have to go down the solicitor route, but it just seems so absolutely futile, I really do want to be way from here, i want so much to be able to just leave and I wish he would realise that I am doing my very utmost to get out of "his home" but it does look increasingly like I should get solicitors involved *sigh*
I just do not know how it came to this? or why he hates me so much?
I think he genuinely thought it would be as easy as 1 2 3 and I would be gone asap, but it really is more difficult to get alternative living accommodation, and I think the longer it drags on the more I am "scuppering" his plans to indulge in all his other relationships/move his new girlfriend in etc but its just not that simple,
I do suppose I still love him or moreso the idea of him, of who I thought he was, and I am mourning the future I had mapped out for us, and I just do not know how he could be so callous and move on so very easily without a single regard for what I am actually going through right now, but I suppose the one good thing to come from all this is that i have realised I have good and decent and genuine friends, and even my sisters (both of them) have come through for me lately, despite our differences in the past, so I know I am not alone.
I just wish it hadnt come to this, and I wish I could hate him the way he seems to hate me because it would make life a hell of a lot easier I can tell you!
There is so much more that has gone on lately that I just cannot write here, maybe in time I will feel strong enough to tell you about it all, but suffice to say he is definitely not the man I thought he was and it's such a shame!
Thanks for your continued support, it has and does mean a lot to me xx
I just do not know how it came to this? or why he hates me so much?
I think he genuinely thought it would be as easy as 1 2 3 and I would be gone asap, but it really is more difficult to get alternative living accommodation, and I think the longer it drags on the more I am "scuppering" his plans to indulge in all his other relationships/move his new girlfriend in etc but its just not that simple,
I do suppose I still love him or moreso the idea of him, of who I thought he was, and I am mourning the future I had mapped out for us, and I just do not know how he could be so callous and move on so very easily without a single regard for what I am actually going through right now, but I suppose the one good thing to come from all this is that i have realised I have good and decent and genuine friends, and even my sisters (both of them) have come through for me lately, despite our differences in the past, so I know I am not alone.
I just wish it hadnt come to this, and I wish I could hate him the way he seems to hate me because it would make life a hell of a lot easier I can tell you!
There is so much more that has gone on lately that I just cannot write here, maybe in time I will feel strong enough to tell you about it all, but suffice to say he is definitely not the man I thought he was and it's such a shame!
Thanks for your continued support, it has and does mean a lot to me xx
Summerskye
Gold Member
I'd logged out and was just idly browsing through a few threads when I saw that Mrs T had posted the last message on this one - and am now sitting here crying tears of anger!
Mrs T, this man is a heartless bully - end of! He deserves neither your love nor your compassion. See a solicitor and fight for what is rightly yours.
You're grieving right now for something which was very dear to you, but which is now lost - and that's perfectly natural. I've been through something similar myself in the past year (although nothing as dreadful as what you're going through!) You will go through an awful lot of self-recrimination and introspection for a while - but that does pass in time, even if you never do get any satisfactory answers to the many questions you have running through your head.
Essentially, you are worth far more than what you've been experiencing over the past few months which, even from the abridged version you've posted, clearly would have crippled many lesser people - men as well as women.
You're an amazing, strong, intelligent and fabulous woman. You don't have to learn to hate him. Just get out of that house as soon as you possibly can - with pride and with dignity - and spend as much time as you can with those who care about you. Then you can walk away with your head held high from someone who quite honestly isn't fit to lick your boots.
I couldn't have gone to bed without posting something to you - and send you lots of love from your Southern buddy ... as always!
xxxxxxxxxx
Mrs T, this man is a heartless bully - end of! He deserves neither your love nor your compassion. See a solicitor and fight for what is rightly yours.
You're grieving right now for something which was very dear to you, but which is now lost - and that's perfectly natural. I've been through something similar myself in the past year (although nothing as dreadful as what you're going through!) You will go through an awful lot of self-recrimination and introspection for a while - but that does pass in time, even if you never do get any satisfactory answers to the many questions you have running through your head.
Essentially, you are worth far more than what you've been experiencing over the past few months which, even from the abridged version you've posted, clearly would have crippled many lesser people - men as well as women.
You're an amazing, strong, intelligent and fabulous woman. You don't have to learn to hate him. Just get out of that house as soon as you possibly can - with pride and with dignity - and spend as much time as you can with those who care about you. Then you can walk away with your head held high from someone who quite honestly isn't fit to lick your boots.
I couldn't have gone to bed without posting something to you - and send you lots of love from your Southern buddy ... as always!
xxxxxxxxxx
mrs tweedy
Regular Member
Thanks Sharon (you are as ever a sweetheart) I can't tell you what your words mean to me, you guys are really true friends, and I so appreciate it, there have been some very low moments of late and I have been so very close to just shutting down and ending things, but I keep clinging on to the truth, I did nothing to deserve his vitriol and I maintain my dignity, he cheated on me over and over (i have discovered) and even at the beginning of our relationship when I had ample opportunity to do so (time and again), I never did cheat on him, (and I never would have) so I know I can walk away from all this as the better person, he caused all this and he is not the man I thought he was, I will just have to come to terms with all that.
I will get through this one way or another, I just cannot accept the venom and the hatred that he is portraying towards me, but I suppose now that everything is out in the open he feels he can treat me as he pleases, but like Ann says what goes around comes around, and he will get his just desserts, (i just wish I could be there to witness his come uppance on that day lol)!
I so treasure your friendship (all you wemitts) and I wish I had been stronger and posted earlier, but I just kind of shut down for a while there, I have received some truly lovely emails and pms from you guys (you know who you are) and believe me when i say they have kept me afloat some days (even though I didn't reply, they have meant a whole lot to me)!
Ooh Sharon, I have been reading your diary, and I am so excited for you, about your op! You will be even more glamorous than ever before now (if that were possible)!!! Your lovely hubby will not know what to do with himself or his glam new trophy wife now lol .. well done to you gorgeous!
Well thats enough from mrs T for tonight, I suppose I will sign out and hope for a better tomorrow ... Thanks for putting up with me you guys, hopefully I will be back in a cheerier mood soon xx
I will get through this one way or another, I just cannot accept the venom and the hatred that he is portraying towards me, but I suppose now that everything is out in the open he feels he can treat me as he pleases, but like Ann says what goes around comes around, and he will get his just desserts, (i just wish I could be there to witness his come uppance on that day lol)!
I so treasure your friendship (all you wemitts) and I wish I had been stronger and posted earlier, but I just kind of shut down for a while there, I have received some truly lovely emails and pms from you guys (you know who you are) and believe me when i say they have kept me afloat some days (even though I didn't reply, they have meant a whole lot to me)!
Ooh Sharon, I have been reading your diary, and I am so excited for you, about your op! You will be even more glamorous than ever before now (if that were possible)!!! Your lovely hubby will not know what to do with himself or his glam new trophy wife now lol .. well done to you gorgeous!
Well thats enough from mrs T for tonight, I suppose I will sign out and hope for a better tomorrow ... Thanks for putting up with me you guys, hopefully I will be back in a cheerier mood soon xx
IreneH
Gold Member
I totally agree with the others. You have done nothing to deserve any of this. Perhaps a solicitor will be able to hurry things up with accommodation and the quicker you can move on the better. And congratulations on being in the 16 st that is less than me. Much love to you
Irene xx
Irene xx
georgiasmum
Regular Member
A solicitor will help and empower you. Please do it or get someone to accompany you if you need help. We are all rooting for you Mrs T
mrs tweedy
Regular Member
Hi guys, thanks for the messages and support (its appreciated) I feel a bit embarrassed about writing all that tbh but its all out there now so I suppose I had better pull my socks up and start getting on with sorting myself out!
Hope all you wemitts are having a good weekend, I have my sisters coming to have a girlie night tonight, should be fun we havent gotten together like this since Christmas so I am looking forward to seeing them both.
Well I will try to pop by again soon and in the meantime like I always say... if you can't be good, don't get caught!!!
Hope all you wemitts are having a good weekend, I have my sisters coming to have a girlie night tonight, should be fun we havent gotten together like this since Christmas so I am looking forward to seeing them both.
Well I will try to pop by again soon and in the meantime like I always say... if you can't be good, don't get caught!!!
