Getting back lost time.

Abyss

Schwing !
Hello all, I think i'm really really ready to get back onto doing Lighterlife again after a lapse.

It's taken a whole month to get back into the right frame of mind and i'm so terrified of failing again. I can accept this as an option.

The first week of my lapse I skipped going to my WI because i was so scared of the scales ... Big mistake as I ended up lapsing even further the week after. Contacted my LC and explained my absence - she said it was perfectly fine and at least i'd nipped it in the bud. I asked if i could be weighed the next week as my confidence was still a little shakey, i'm completely regretting this decision now as in my mind I feel like this could have ended two weeks ago now. Did another disappearing act from my WI last week because I couldn't get my head into gear. I can feel the weight going back on ... I'm going back on Wednesday but i'm so irritated with myself - I've more than likely undone all of the hard work i've done over the other two months and i'm so scared of facing up to it. Yes i've learnt a few things about myself over the last month but when i just think of if i'd stuck to my guns how small I would be right now I could just cry.
 
You're not alone there! I've spent probably around the last month messing around with lapsing and getting back on and lapsing again. I've also felt like my head wasn't in the right place. I've been playing around with the same few pounds losing them and putting them on again and I've just had enough. I know I can't change what has happened but it makes me cross to think that if I had stuck to it I'd probably have lost my 3st by now.

At least you haven't disappeared. You are still here and are still aware of your problems and want to change your habits. This is much better than ignoring everything and putting all the weight back on and some.

You're much more likely to succeed if you know that you're head and heart are both really in it. The way I see it is, what are a few lapses if they highlight particular issues I have and I can remain focused on my goal. Personally I have learned several triggers that make me eat that I was unaware of and to me this will help towards the long term maintenance even if it takes me a little longer to get it off.

I hope that makes sense, I'm very tired, day 1 back on plan 100% and I'm feeling it!

X
 
It sounds like you and I are in exactly the same boat actually - i would have been around the 3 stone mark around now too. :[
No going back now. But you're right, i've learnt a lot about myself and if it takes longer to get to where i want to be for a bit of education then so be it :p and we're both still here !! I'm going to have to face my fears tomorrow, but the sooner i do it the sooner i'll be back on the right track :]

One thing i've really learnt and recognise is the way that I speak to myself is awful - I wouldn't speak to people i don't like like I speak to myself. And I need to maybe strengthen my adult self - I tend to use emotionally charged words like "naughty" and "good." :/

As much as it's not an ideal situation for either of us, at least neither of us are alone :]
xo
 
Yeah I'm the same, I talk to myself like I'm worthless. That's something I'm working on. Whatever the outcome of tomorrow, you have made it back when you could've just kept on ignoring it. Going back is the first step to getting back on track. At my group there was a lady that hasn't been for 3 weeks and hadn't stuck to plan. She was on Lite and said she hadn't been terrible, just no where near good and she only gained 1lb.

I'm just seriously looking forward to ketosis kicking back in as I'm on day 2 of being back on plan and it's no fun! Got to be done though and I know it'll be fine in a day or 2!

X
 
Ouch ! Plus 11 pounds >-<
Kinda expected that though being off of the plan for a month ... Actually I was expecting a bit more considering :/ but you know what I feel a million times better for knowing and not burying my head in the sand.
I feel like i'm back in the drivers seat, i've completely started again (asked for a new little book and photos again.) Next week i'm hoping for a big loss ;p I will reach my goal, nothings stopping me now !

Let's go team "LL round two !" :3
Xo
 
Two ahaha, I know I haven't been back on it long - but i feel like this long already is an achievement.

Getting all of the getting back into ketosis symptoms too - banging headache, unquenchable thirst and feeling exhausted. Think it's bedtime aha.
xo
 
Aah, good ol' ketosis headaches. That'll all be over and done with soon!

Good luck getting through the next couple of days! :)
 
Yay Abbie! You can do it! :party0011:

Weight loss isn't all about doing it in one go, it's a massively big learning curve! I've been up and down, it's like a rollercoaster... I'm only now beginning to figure out what's going on in my head regarding my relationship with food and I started this journey in 2008!! Back then I didn't know "emotional hunger" even existed... and now I'm able to think about my choices before I come close to doing them. :) One step at a time, take it day by day. This isn't supposed to be easy!

You can do this. :hug99:

x
 
Heeeeey Dio :DDDDD

Totally right with the rollercoaster analogy ! I've had a bit of a blip this week too, kept to the packs until Saturday ... went to a wedding on food packs, may have been convinced to have a few drinks ... may have ended up having a few more, then a few more until I was pretty much on the floor. Doh. :| Chose to eat something to soak it all up so I wasn't ill for work the next day ... that turned into having conventional food over the next few days, I feel like I try to convince myself not to have it and fail miserably in my internal struggle - no matter how hard i've worked to get in the position i'm in i seem to internally want to sabotage myself and can't pinpoint why.

I'm still trying to figure out why exactly I WANT conventional food rather than needing it. I know I don't need it or particularly want it but still if it's there I feel like I have to eat it. Total mystery to me, and still figuring out how to stop myself in those types of situations. Tomorrow I know i'll stick to the plan because I want to more than anything at the moment.
I've also started the 30 day Shred to see if that helps me stick to the plan, exciting to see how that goes too .... thinking about maybe documenting/blogging too, maybe for a push :]

Hope everyone is okay !!
xo
 
p.s. OW, the 30 day shred hurts ahahahaha :|
 
Yep... 30 day shred hurts, I think I did 1 day of it and didn't touch it again :p I found going to those exercise classes at the gym much better motivationally, so went to a few of those instead. :)

As per food... I know what you mean... it's really easy to give in to real food because it's where our comfort zone is. It's what we're comfortable with. It's what makes us feel better (does it?). To take the safety blanket away is extremely distressing and horrifying. So it's an understandable reaction to slip back into 'normal life' and 'normal behaviour', it's easy to do ... but... to fix what we want to fix (weight) we need to suspend that for a little bit. It's not forever, only for a little while. Only a small portion of your life of discomfort... In a few months you'll be free to enjoy your safety blanket again - but you'll have learnt to use it at more appropriate times...

I dunno.. I'm rambling.. I woke up not too long ago and haven't had my porridge yet. :p sorry.

x
 
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