On reflection, I think my problem yesterday was that I had just come home from work. I am used to walking in and having a 'little something' to tide me over until teatime, a treat for getting through the day. Yesterday was my first day at work since starting back on LL and I was unprepared for this moment.
Lady T 'The food isn't going anywhere and will still be there when you finish LL' is a comment that resounds with me. I have a famine mentality - must eat it now because I don't know when it will be there again. This stems from my childhood - growing up always hungry (we all were it wasn't just me being greedy), once i started work and had some money I would buy food to keep under the bed to 'top up' after my tea. It seemed like a sensible idea at the time, I just wish I had realised the problems I was creating for myself down the line. Almost 30 years later and I am mentally still doing this- not under the bed anymore I am pleased to say - but using the kitchen as a mental stash if you understand what I mean. something that I still need to work on
Logically I know that I will not starve but somehow cant translate this into my thick brain.
Clara I like your LLC's comment a lot - I was thinking this morning that the next time I want to lapse I must remember this time and remember that resisting didn't kill me, I got over it and feel better for it!
Gracielou, if I caved in then that would be that. Last year I went out for my mum's 70th birthday, (week 8 of LL) I made an 'Adult' decision I thought that I would eat steak and salad and did that (with a few chips thrown in) I didn't come out of ketosis and dealt with the whole thing very well. Until the next morning when the demons were speaking - if you ate that then you can get away with eating this - and so on. As a result I nibbled my way through the next 2 months of LL before giving it up with a complete feeling of failure. I know that if I cave in then its not usually what I am eating that does the damage but its what happens to my head as a result of it.
I have had the scales by the front door meaning to hide them in the car boot for a while but last night I thought I would take them upstairs and weigh myself for motivation. Something in them must have shifted slightly when I was moving them because as soon as I stood on them there was a massive cracking sound (I am not THAT heavy!) and they informed me that I had lost about 24lb since I last weighed a couple of weeks ago! Well I know that they are broken now for sure, although seeing 16stone something was actually quite motivating as it won't be long before I see that for real
Got my first weigh in tonight and its a lovely evening to be driving over to a nice little market town, wish me luck!
Thanks again to you all for your support, it helped a lot last night x
