hello from a hopeless person

Discussion in 'Introductions' started by hopeless, 27 November 2009 Social URL.

  1. hopeless

    hopeless New Member


    I feel hopeless, in need of help. I know a lot about nutrition, all the good things I should be doing. I have successfully counted calories in the past and lost 11 kg. I used to exercise a lot and loved it.

    Then I had back surgery (herniated disc) years ago and since then I haven't found my fitness again.

    I sit a lot. I work, but have lots of free time, which I fulfill with music (I study three instruments) and writing (my second unpublished-to-be novel) and watching TV.

    Problem is: I'm addicted to chocolates. I can have 1000 cals a day only in chocs.

    I'm not buying them anymore for the house, but when I go to work I buy a bar or two (or three:cry:).

    My current BMI is 24.56, so, I'm "normal", but my weight's going up, so, soon I'll be obese.

    I'm ashamed of myself, because I'm letting it happen. I have no excuse whatsoever. I have an elliptical trainer in front of my TV: why am I not using it?

    I have a dancing room at home (do classical ballet). Why am I not dancing?

    I used to be so motivated... what happened to me?

    I came to this forum, because I need help. I'm sorry if I sound spoiled to some of you who's been fighting to lose lots of stones. I admire you and want to support you too, if I possibly can.

    I don't need to be skinny to be happy. I only would like to keep my BMI under 24, so that I'm not close to danger.

    I'm really ashamed of myself. When am I gonna do something about it all? When my BMI's above 25? 30? 40?

    Apart from the fear of losing control and the shame of not doing anything to deal with it, I'm kind of OK. I love my job and my music. I'm relatively happily married. The problem is: I'm VERY lonely. Very lonely. I live in my own world. I don't drink alcohol and don't like shopping, and I've given up on former friendships because all they talked about was clothes, buying things, make up, booze... I'm not into these things. I'd drive them to the shops and find a place to sit and wait while they shopped. Or I'd go to a pub with them and sit there watching them getting drunk. Or go to their places and watch their kids doing mischief, breaking things, hurting each other, their mums screaming at them for no good at all. I'd listen to their problems and try to help, but they'd never listen to mine, always assuming I was perfect, happy, etc (even when I'd ask for help, when I had clinical depression, back surgery, etc). My best friend left the country. I miss her.

    I have no family nearby (they're 10000 km away).

    All the very best to all of you. I hope you're much more motivated than I am and that you all do much better than I.
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  3. jay78_uk

    jay78_uk Full Member

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    phew!! after reading that all i can say is, on some of the things, i know how you feel

    i had a discectomy after a herniated disc 14 weeks off work then a year later it went again, same disc different side, not as bad this time but enough to need the steroid injections

    after two months it went again, this time more pain than the other two together!!! (about 5 weeks ago)

    went to revisit my surgeon and my right bum cheek and right thigh had gone completely numb which meant the pain was gone but was obviously really worring

    then a week went by with still numbness and no pain

    then another week and the pain was still gone but the numbness was actually subsiding

    then two weeks ago i went away to the Lake District and climbed up to like 20 feet from the summit of Blencathra via Sharp Edge (2800ft)

    and now the pain has gone as well as the numbness

    all through this my BMI has been around the 33-36 mark

    i was in a catch 22 scenario where i love to walks lots (was doing 20+ miles a week) and cycling 50+ miles a week and that was no where near over doing it ( not that many years ago i was doing 20+ miles a day on the bike)

    i did my back the last time getting out of the car!!! annoying i know!! but then puts me back into not being able to stand up straight let alone any type of excercise!!!

    but im so determined now to lose the weight thats why ive start Lipotrim, then with the weight right down i'm sure that the excercise will be a lot easier

    good job you have found this forum now as there are lots of good people about

    all the best

    Jay ;)
  4. soozsb

    soozsb Xmas goal, here I come!

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    Reductil/Meridia and Xenical
    You have made the first step.
    Next you need to be in the right frame of mind, and you are close to it. Keep going in that direction.
    First re: chocolate, do you have cadburys thins chocolate bars there? They are I think only 90 calories per bar. You can eat o1 or 2 every day and still not had a lot oc cal. They are delicious, real milk choc. Keep some at home and at work or if self control is an issue just pick up 2 each day for that day. Next just start eating healthy and when you are in the right mind frame start your diet then. Find one you think you will stick to and follow.
    Second, join a community centre or gym where they have interesting classes that you might like to do. IE: pilates, yoga, belly dancing, etc. Join it, meet people who also have an interest in that exercise, hopefully you will meet a friend or two.

    Have you spoken to your husband about how you feel? Does he understand, is he there for you? Talk things out with him and help him to understand how you feel.
    Maybe talk to a social worker or Dr.
    Lastly, you are not alone. Many of us here feel the same way. Come here often. Talk out your feelings, seek advice, share, complain, moan , laugh, become part of the minimins family. There is always someone here who can empathize with you. "Seek and ye shall find" someone who understands.

    Good lluck, I hope you find what you are looking for.:grouphugg:
  5. maxine uk

    maxine uk Full Member

    Start Weight:
    doing it on my own
    hello and welcome to mm, you are welcome to come on here and "let it all hang out"
    you will get as much or as little help as you like, look through the threads and have a read, post and have a good chat, and you will be surprised im sure
    take care
  6. shep

    shep Silver Member

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    I'm changin my lifestyle not dieting using CS
    Don't beat yourself up, we r all family here and we are only a tap away. So you tap and we will listen, help and interject anything and everything. Remember we have all been there, r still there and some out the other end. But we will not judge you at all.

  7. helen37

    helen37 Member

    Hey its okay really to feel the way you do, your not giving yourself enough credit. We all believe in you on here, and we all no how hard it is. Am here if you need me, one day at a time okay, small steps are better and big ones, thinking of you and wishing you well darling.xxx
  8. hopeless

    hopeless New Member

    Hi guys,

    I can't thank you enough for all the support, the kind replies.

    I already feel so much better, so much better. You've all done something good: thank you from the bottom of my heart for this special Xmas gift.

    I don't wanna diet, because I'm 40 and I've been yoyoing all my life. Enough's enough. I need to learn to control my impulses, eat less, healthier, control this terrible cravings for sugar (read "chocolates").

    For me it doesn't work to have a small bar. If I have more in the house, I just won't control myself. It's really an addiction. Whenever I stop eating chocs, I lose weight without dieting (because chocs are the bulk of my calorie intake anyway).

    Jay: I had the disc removed and I have a polymer disc replacing it. Now I have a second disc (the first was cervical, the second's lumbar) with a problem, but I don't need surgery for now. I hope you'll only feel better.

    I don't talk about my problems with my husband, because he's not so well now (very unhappy with his job, very long hours), and when I had clinical depression he did not know how to help me (he tried, but he just couldn't). I'm the kind who looks for help and at the time I went to see a psychiatrist. He prescribed me drugs (seroxat) for the depression (because I was suicidal) and it helped. I've stopped the drug after I've seen a documentary on BBC about seroxat and chemical dependence.

    I know I'm not clinically depressed now. I'm just down, but I'm a (mostly) happy person. If it gets worse, I'll surely look for professional help. I always do when something goes wrong. Life's a blessing and we have to do all we can to fight adversity and not give up on ourselves.

    That's why I came to the forum. I knew I'd feel better, and, thanks to you, I do.

    Like you said: one step at a time.

    I'm forever indebted to you for your support.:character00148::sign0168:
  9. IreneH

    IreneH Gold Member

    Hi and welcome. I know you will get lots of support here as there are many wonderful people here with loads of experience and knowledge.

    Why not start a diary thread so we can support you

    Irene xx
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