Hello new weight loss blog :D

[Smiley Bon]

Hey hey, sorry I've not been on here for a few days :S I've been in a right bad mood lately

I am really angry with work at the moment, this place is unbelievable. I won't bore you with the really long story but basically I run the whole DM department myself, there used to be more of us but they downsized it to just me and everyone else left. So no one, not even my managers, know exactly what i do and how to run this department. I've done this for 4 and a half years now.

So we've been taken over and are merging two companies, the other company has a DM dept of 12 people, so this is merging with me, although I don't even know if these people are relocating up here as they currently work in london, so it might be all new people they recruit.

I've been told none of this officially at all, it's just cos I am friends with my boss and she tells me what's going on when we go for a cuppa after work.

They are sending 2 people from this office down to train in how the DM dept is run down there, but these 2 people know nothing about DM, they've never seen it or helped out or anything. So why aren't they sending me?! or even telling me anything

Also apparently my dept is gonna be one of the first to move over to this new office, but i will be working some days there and some in this office, but - get this - the work i do over there I have to do exactly the same in this office :S so i will do the same thing twice just cos there are 2 different computer systems.

It's all madness and I am so angry and feel so belittled that I am not even being acknowledged yet alone involved.

Sooooo annoyed I am Sooo I am thinking of handing my notice in soon even though i haven't a job lined up :S

Nomad - I was hoping I could ask you about agency work? cos you've mentioned that you get work that way. Would you be able to tell me how it works as I don't know much about it, and if it is a good idea or not? cos i was thinkig I could do that for a couple of months or so until i find something perminant?

I've been applying for regular admin work - boring but still i can do it until I find something more fun. I just want to get out of here, especially as i am the only one who can train new recruits and i don't want to do that, don't see why I should.

Sorry I am in a rihgt grump I haven't slept much lately as i've been so upset by it :S

Oh and to top it off, the other day me and my friend were walking home and we passed these young lads who were blowing condoms up like balloons, and they shouted something about us being "big girls". That really upset me I know they aren't perfect themselves and i should take no notice, but it hurts I know I am the fattest I've ever been but i tend to convince myself that i am not so bad :S I spoke to Jamie about it and he just said that I am only fat cos I had cancer, which made me feel even worse for some reason. I put on 2 stones i know, but I wasn't exactly thin before then. I suppose i just wanted him to say that I am not fat but that's stupid cos obviously i am and that won't help me as i need to face it in order to do something about it.

But yeah, the whole job thing has made me want to comfort eat! argh. Vicious circle

Ok, i'll shut up now, hee. Sorry to be on a downer. I hope everyone else is well and smiley? I should check out how people are doing and get some motivation at the same time, you're all so good at helping me with that

Take care. Thanks for listening to my moan!

 

[coachnomad]

Oh Bon, firstly lots of big, squishy hugs for all the cr&p in your life at the moment.

Regards the temp work, I'm on the Bank which is an internal agency for the hospital and there is plenty of work as there doesn't seem to be many people on it at the moment.

The external agencies, like Reed, Adecco, Hays, you have to fill in one of their registration forms, pretty much the same information as your CV but you have to do it on their forms (???) and they kind of interview you and depending on what sort of work you are looking for, they will also do various typing tests and things. They then look for work on your behalf and ring you when anything suitable comes in.

As to whether it's a good idea or not, you need to go and see them and see what work they have. Look on line to see what agencies you have in your area (just Google recruitment agencies) and then have a look at their websites. It will give you an idea of what work they have available. Also when you go to see them, you need to take various forms of ID, passport, both parts of your driving licence, a utility bill no more than 3 months old but not a mobile phone bill(?), bank statement, birth certificate (might not need that and passport). Best thing is to ring them and they will then book an appointment for you to go along and also tell you want you need to take along.

Sorry if that was a bit long winded!!! Good luck with it all and I hope you find something soon xx

 

[Smiley Bon]

Thanks so much Nomad You're lovely.

That really helped. I am going to Google agencies then and see what there is here. I like the sound of the Bank place in the hospital, I wonder if there is something like that here....

So lots of researching for me.

It sounds a bit scary going and seeing agency people :S but then they seem to be able to help and I have to go through interviews regardless!

Thanks for the info very helpful and has certainly given me something to think about.

Have been texting my sister this morning and she said I should get out as I sound so miserable :S It does seem like a scary step but I need to take it at some point, and I have to work a month's notice anyway... so will see. Got to look into agencies first and see if there are any more admin jobs I can apply for. Unfortunatly we're out tonight, but tomorrow night and Friday I shall get on to it.

Thanks again

 

[minusfour]

How horrible Bon! When your work situation is really stressful and sucky, it sort of can take over every waking minute, can't it? Leaving asap sounds like a good idea, can you afford a little time of work if you can't get a temp position?
I have made it a rule in life never to listen to any BS spoken by boys who blow up condoms like balloons. Never, ever!

Hope your day improves sweetheart!

 

[coachnomad]

You're more than welcome Bon. There should be a bank at your hospital, I think they all have one. If you don't do secretarial then you can join and do reception cover. I'm not sure what else they do but they are the admin and clerical bank so I should think there'll be something. Just to bear in mind with the bank though, you have to work a month in hand which is quite annoying, but quite pleasant at the other end if you get a permanent job as you will get paid twice!!!

 

[coachnomad]

If you go to www.jobs.nhs.uk then you should be able to search in your area xx

Also visit the website for your hospital as the jobs should be listed on there too.

 

[Smiley Bon]

Thanks so much guys for your support I am feeling a little better, still a bit down but I've been talking to some friends at work everyone is so lovely.

Ah thanks Nomad, I have used that site already to apply for an admin job! So i shall browse it more and see what there is There is only so much I dare look at while at work though! So I shall look tomorrow night.

I looked at Office Angels too and there are a few other admin agencies in Newcastle, so that sounds good.

Thanks MinusFour! I think I'll make that a rule too! I know they are no role models themselves but it just hits a nerve doesn't it

Well Jamie is on twice as much money as me and we could manage on just his wage for a little while. We managed on just my rubbish wage when he was made redundant and unemployed for 6 months! But then if i leave here I can't get benefits since it's me leaving and not being made redundant, but we could if the worse comes to the worst.

It all seems like a really big step! I like safety and would much rather have something lined up to make it feel less scary! but then I really don't want to spend many more days here now, am hating it today and don't feel like I want to do any work.

Hope everyone's having a nice day I've done well with food today and had carrot sticks and cerariac mash for lunch So only had about 340 calories and I am full I hope I carry on like this though as at the moment I feel like curling up in bed with pizza, chips and garlic sauce and then a huuuuge whole nut choc bar for afters But I need to change this attitude!

 

[Smiley Bon]

Good morning.

Well I am in a bit of a better mood today Am still annoyed with work and really don't want to be here but I am feeling more positive.

I am looking forward to this evening and tomorrow job hunting and applying for as much as I can. I have a good CV now so it should be easy enough to apply for things tomorrow.

So that's good, I am feeling better knowing that I now have some time to spend on sorting it out as I am dying to sort this out!

Last night was lovely, we had a great night so that cheered me up We went to see a talk by a scientist which was very interesting. Then we went for Japanese food, tried a new place and it was delicious! Then we went to the cinema and saw a brilliant film So a lovely night it was.

I did amazingly well with food yesterday too, yays. I went for healthy choices at the Japanese restaurant So i don't think I went over 1000 calories yesterday!

Today I am in the zone too, woo. I have an apple for breakfast, soup for lunch and then some Wasabi peas to nibble on this afternoon. Tea will be something low calorie too.

I am back to be being determined to change my life! I've stopped the mopeing and now I am in action mode!

Thanks for your support yesterday, much appriciated. I hate moaning :S

I'll let you know how the agency research goes Nomad, I plan to look at that site tonight. Thanks again.

 

[coachnomad]

As I said Bon, you're more than welcome. I'm glad you're feeling a bit brighter today. I hope work doesn't get any worse for you. Good luck with the job hunting tomorrow.

Sounds like you had a good evening last night, I would be knackered this morning after fitting so much in though!!!

Well done with the food. Will you be on the Wii tomorrow? And are you weighing tomorrow?

 

[Smiley Bon]

Thanks Nomad

I am feeling more positive about things yes And it's nice in a way that I am focusing my energy away from this work now and thinking forward. So I am liking this new mind set, I feel distanced from this place now and I needed that as I have enjoyed my 4 and a half years here but I really need to do something else now and am more than ready.

Yes, last night was good indeed It wasn't too tiring though and I was in bed by the usual time of about half 11 (I don't get up til 8.15) so had enough sleep and feel refreshed today.

Well tomorrow is disrupted a little as I have a hair appointment which will take a while am a little annoyed about that as i would rather focus my time on jobs :S It's bad timing but I haven't had it done since Christmas and I am tired of just tying it up so I know it needs doing.

Also I purposefully booked it for half 10, so I can go on the Wii from 9 until 9.50, then shower and go. I weigh-in on the Wii :S So hopefully it won't shout at me for gaining! I am hoping for either a STS or a 1lb loss... fingers crossed!

 

[coachnomad]

Fingers are crossed for you. I can't believe your normal time to bed is 11.30pm!!! We go to bed at 9pm. Mind you, we are awake again at 5am.

 

[minusfour]

Hope you have a good day, Bon. Mine, so far, has been fairly stressful, business meetings, and in a hour I have to take my cat to the vet. It's not that I think he is terribly crook, he probably isn't, but he has vomited a couple of nights this week and I just want him checked out. But, put him in a cage and in the car, and the poor things is terrified. I'm sweating already!

 

[abz]

hey babes. sorry i haven't been in touch. haven't been on the computer for ages!! sorry that work is so pants. but then this is a good thing in a way. you've wanted to get out of there for years, and this is the final push that is making you do it. you can do something far more interesting or rewarding or both

well done on the food. so far i think my christmas challenge has involved me gaining weight. i daren't weigh myself to find out. and i'm off to a food and craft festival today so that doesn't bode well does it? ha. i am going to concentrate on drinking more water this weekend. we are going food shopping today too so will do a big slimming world shop. i did manage most of the week doing slimming world actually but then got pizza last night... so maybe i'm doing 80% ok. still. it aint great...

hope you are feeling more chipper this weekend

abz xx

 

[Pink!]

Heya babes, how's it going?
What did you have done to your hair?
You're doing really well babes, still enjoying the wii fit?

 

[Gemstone]

Hi Bon - I'll try to be a better mini-friend in future - I have neglected you again x

 

[Smiley Bon]

Morning guys, thanks so much for the comments You're all so lovely

Nomad, thanks. :S getting up at 5am seems so weird to me! i don't think I've ever been up that early!!

Aw MinusFour, hope your cat is ok? sounds like a busy day for you! hope you had a more peaceful weekend?

Thanks Abz nice to hear from you You're right, this is definatly the push i needed. I have my mind set on leaving which is a very good thing. Well done! you're not doing that badly! you're allowed treats, and sounds like you're doing well the rest of the time How was the food and craft festival? what a fun idea.

Hi Pink, thank you. I am well, had a nice weekend and I like my new hair

Aw Gemstone, you are a good Minimins friend! don't be so hard on yourself

 

[Smiley Bon]

Well I am feeling much more positive this week, woo! I had a brilliant day on Friday where I was very productive

I went on the Wii Fit for an hour and burnt 100 and so calories and enjoyed it. Oh and I weighed in and I've lost 2 lbs! yays! I am going in the right direction again! Happy me.

Then I went to the hairdressers and had my hair blonded, it's very very light now and had a nice cut so I feel much better woo.

Then I went home and emailed my CV to a museum place i'd like to work at, so they have me on their books now for any jobs that arise And then I applied for 2 admin jobs I have also seen two admin jobs on the NHS website, so I am going to apply for them this week. So that's good, am pleased there are some admin positions available out there. I didn't get chance to look into agency work, but I figured applying for these was a good idea for the time i had.

So a very productive day Then in the evening we went to the pub for this comedy night which was all improvised, it was hilarious!! really enjoyed it.

Well I am feeling like I am back in the "zone" am being really strict with myself. I feel so much better for it too, less frumpy and tired and that Although we had pizza and wine over the weekend so Saturday I wasn't so good. But I plan on being brilliant today and the rest of the week, so i am not worried about it.

When I sat down in the chair at the hairdressers I couldn't stop looking at my tummy! i was shocked at how awful I look sat down! suppose I don't see myself sat down normally, ha. So yeah that helped and it stopped me having the biscuits I was offered with my cuppa!

Well I hope everyone had a nice weekend? I shall get on to checking everyone's diaries now

 

[Gemstone]

Thanks for your nice words Bon and WOW to the positivity - YOU IS ROCKIN' GIRL x

 

[minusfour]

I'm glad you are sounding so much happier Bon! My hairdresser puts this great big smock on me, which, I like to think, is quite slimming. (I can't see my tummy at any rate!) No, it is my skin that suddenly looks appalling during my appointments- do I always frown like that, stop frowning minus, ah, lawd, is that just my normal expression, is that how other people see me etc? I'm usually quite stressed by the time we go to the sink!
My cat is much better- he is on some antibiotics, and some tablets to calm his tummy down. He isn't 100%, but he is heaps happier.
Hope you have a great day sweet girl!

 

[Pink!]

Hey babes! 2lbs! That's awesome well done!!! You're in the zone man. Can I have some of your motivation? lol.

I hope that some of those jobs come up trumps for you; the museum one sounds good!

I hate going to the hairdresser, it's the only time I have to spend more than a passing second looking in the mirror; but imagine how you would have looked sitting there before you'd lost weight! And this how good it will be in a stones time, lol.
x