Hello new weight loss blog :D

[Smiley Bon]

Well this looks exciting! I think I will use this a lot to talk about my cravings and how I neeeeed chocolate but can't have it.

I am doing well this week though I think, I did terrible on Sunday and just ate and ate, but since then I've snapped out of it a bit and am thinking more now and stopping myself when I know i've just eaten so don't need anything else, it's just that I want to eat something...

I am terrible for thinking about food! It just seems to be on my mind a lot! I sit and email my friend Abi while I am at work and you can guarantee I'll mention food at least once in our about hourly emails :S

But I am determined! I have put on weight through chemo, and it's really getting to me I feel like I look so awful! I have little hair and dry skin and I did until Tuesday have a tube in my chest, and then all this weight!

So I am wanting to lose some to make me feel better about myself and feel pretty again! but mainly of course for my health! i have learnt so much about how important bodies are and we really need to look after them, once that gives up that is the end! So i want to live longer and have a better quality of living too

Soooo I have been having a variety of cereal for breakfast, this I have found helpful as it fills me up so I dont snack til lunch time. We have a snack machine in the kitchen at work and its just full of chocolate and crisps! its so cruel! So I have been bringing in my own dinner - a Quorn sandwich, or salad sandwich, or a salad box or left over teas... and then i have fruit here and things like japanese rice crackers to help with the snacking... I get so bored at work and therefore listen to my tummy more...

I have just been to the market on my dinner time and bought 3 big carrier bags full of salad things and fruit and potatoes, so I shall make salads for tea and dinners tmw i thinks. I like to make my own potatoe salad too to make it more filling. I might do some cold pasta and low fat mayo for it too, that'd be a nice change.

So I am doing ok with the food thing. My main problem is exercise... I am useless at it I walk to and from work, but its all flat and only 15 minutes each way :S so its not enough! i do walk up the stairs rather than take the lift and things like that though.... And I am more active than i have been for months through the chemo! so I think i'm doing ok.

I have some lung damage from the chemo too, so it's harder when i do exercise... I have a Pilates DVD at home that i enjoy doing, but I just don't seem to as often as I would like, I need to start putting it into my routine, like do it every Tuesday and Friday would be good.. something like that. Not sure what other type of exercise I like... I dont really like any of it :S

Anyway. I am doing really well today, I am snacking on blueberries this afternoon, so that's good. And lots of water.

Well that was my first post! it's nice being able to just talk about food! I will need to do this a lot until July I thinks!

Oh I haven't said. I would like to lose 2 stone, I think that is my goal. I am not totally sure what I weigh at the moment... I shall get some scales soon.
Well bye for now

 

[Smiley Bon]

Well I am getting the hang of this forum a bit more now mainly with the help of Abi!

So i have posted my blog onto a thread here now.

Well nothings happened in the hour since i last posted! hee. Suppose i havent eaten anything! and drunk a big glass of water, so that's an achievement

Nearly home time now (am at work) so that's good, although it looks like it's raining boo!

I am sure I will write tomorrow when I am back here and have the munchies again!

Bye for now

 

[abz]

good morning good morning.

what have you brought in for brekkie today? what's the cereal of choice? i'm munching on my special k like a good girl. i always liked the stuff though. shame it's so bloody expensive!! might have to get myself down to netto and see if they have any on offer...

abz xx

 

[Smiley Bon]

Well i've just had my corn flakes with a banana on top was really nice, took me rihgt back to caravaning holidays, aww.

I have my nice salad box for lunch. I love my salads there is all sorts in there and it's all healthy stuff, jacket potatoe, cold pasta with peas and sweetcorn and Extra Lite mayo, an egg, lettace, rocket, tomatoes, cucumber, beetroot, grated carrot, radishes... I think that's it! oh and mushrooms So it's yum! i had it for tea last night too. I think I have my 5 a day just in that box, hehe.

I am a bit worried about tonight though, as Jamie's at his friends and it would be soooo nice to sit with a huge chocolate bar while I watch the soaps... but I shall resist, think i'll buy a hot choc sachet on the way home, that would help! Not sure what to have for my tea... maybe soup, I quite fancy soup since it's so cold.

The weekend will be harder... It's too easy to just go to the kitchen while i'm at home all day! so it will be a test, but I can get through it!!

I need to get some scales! i really want to see a difference, that would really help me. I get paid on Wednesday though, so I'll get some while it's late night shopping on Thursday.

Hee the bloke next to me at work is having some cereal, but from a mug, it's really tickled me as it's quite clever if you don't have a bowl and i dont think he does as he doesn't have a locker, hehe.

 

[abz]

one thing i did get out of my special k challenge research this morning is that a normal mug holds about 45g of special k. so i won't have to worry about portion sizes with my cereal so much now. hee.

abz xx

 

[Smiley Bon]

Ah maybe that is what the bloke was doing! he was making sure his portion size was right! ... or he didn't have a bowl :S hee.

I am having a cereal phase at the moment, I am liking my selection from the Weigh House place, I can have a different one each day which stops me being bored. I want some museli next, although I have to spend ages picking the raisans out - yuck!

Well it's dinner time, but I think I will wait til I have my salad, I have had cereal and been picking at my tub of grapes and blueberries, so I don't need my dinner yet. I am really looking forward to it though!

 

[abz]

i LOVE the raisins in muesli. well. alpen not a bit fan of muesli because of my aversion to nuts but for some reason i love alpen. probably because it's full of sugar.

i wish i felt like i didn't need my lunch but was looking forward to it. the sandwich man is going to be here shortly. and if he isn't, i may have to eat craig...

abz xx

 

[Smiley Bon]

Humm there is a lot of hidden sugar in things isnt there.. i'm not very good at that, i'll think something is nice and healthy, then realise it's nice cos it's full of sugar gah.

As if you like raisans!!! I remember when i was little Nanna always made me eat them so i would put them in Grandad's bowl when she wasn't looking, hehe.


Well I am at home now, gonna have quorn burgers in bread buns with salad and picilly for tea, that's all good i think should be filling too.

Then i have a hot choc sachet - a mint one for when i put my pyjamas on and watch the soaps

So yay I've managd a good day wooo.

 

[abz]

well done babes

mmm. quorn burgers. haven't had those in ages. i introduced my grandma to those when i was veggi and she never looked back. we had them every time i went to visit near enough. so i attach very good memories to them

i'm really sleeeeeepy. think my evening is going to be spent snoozling...

abz xx

 

[abz]

good morning dwarlink

did you have a good weekend?

abz xx

 

[Smiley Bon]

Morning Well i had a good weekend thanks I've just emailed and told you allll about it...

Eating wise, i didnt do too bad... i had the major munchies on Friday evening though and ate loads :S I can't remember what now though... oh 3 quorn burgers (aw i like that they remind you of your Grandma they make me think of her now), then a small whole nut choc bar bad Bon!! and then scrambled eggs with toast with butter :S i used 5 eggs too!! 5!!! i was hungry and i really shouldnt of eaten, it was at about midnight i didnt need it.. i just wanted to eat..


Saturday I had a good talk with Jamie about how my weight is really getting to me and he made me feel better as he said that it really shouldnt matter to me what other people think, it should be what i think first and then what he thinks second and sod everyone else! and he still fancies me and doesnt even notice my weight he said i had nice legs and boobs and that was what i should think about, focus on my good points... things like this... he is helpful bless him. And he also said that everyone understands as its not my fault i've put on weight, which it kinda is, kinda isnt with the chemo.. and that we will do it together, he'll help me and he does understand as he likes eating too and is getting a belly as he eats when he is bored and things like me too.. i've sooo given him my bad habits! So yeah, he said that we should just think about what we want to eat and then look forward to it, so we were hungry then but had just eaten, so knew it was silly to eat again so soon as we didnt need it, so we thought about what we wanted to eat (a sandwich with the nice bread i'd just bought) and we said we'd eat it at 9 and look forward to it for the 2 hours til then. So that worked. And we did that on Sunday too, i would tell him that i wanted to eat something and he'd say right we'll have these quorn things in the freezer after this episode and then we are looking forward to it and thinking about how nice it'll be and not eating it straight away.

So i think that is a good mentality, just to get ourselves out of eating there and then. I think i am doing ok with what i am eating, its just that i eat too often and therefore am going over my calories a day i am sure (even though i'm not calorie counting) so i need to sort out eating less often, so hopefully this'll help.

It's easier at work as i know i have my set times to eat, breakfast, lunchtime and then when i get home we have tea.

Sooo yeah. I am still feeling huge and horrible I daren't weigh myself but i need an accurate starting weight, so i can feel better when the number is coming down. I think i would like to get to about 11 - 11 and a half stone. I was 10 - 10 and a half when i was really thin all those years ago and that was too thin. So i think that's a good goal. So i think that'll be about 2 stone to lose. Doesnt seem a lot... but it's hard

I just had my breakfast - Shreddies with lots of sweetner on (is that bad?) and now have a milky coffee. I havent brought any lunch today so not sure what to get, will see how hungry i am at 1 and might get a jacket pototo if i am hungry enough, otherwise just an egg breadbun i thinks...

So there. A new week, and still allll i can think about it food! this had better become easier soon, i cant wait til its second nature and i dont have to think about it so much...

How are you doing with your WW?

 

[abz]

hey you

not too bad. have had my special k and an apple. desperately want to eat things just because. ha. but am not doing so. might have another apple around 12 and then my lunch at 1.

i think it's a grand idea that you and jamie are deciding what to have and then looking forward to it

oh. and i got my massive leather horlicks armchair from aunty joyce yesterday. now we are just trying to rearrange all the other furniture around it so it fits in...

abz xx

 

[Smiley Bon]

Oh that chair sounds nice, bet its really comfy

Well done on this morning, you are doing well, yeah look forward to an apple at 12 and then your meal at 1 What you gonna have for tea?

What kind of things do you eat on WW then? what are high in points and low in points?

Gah I am sooo bored at work, i dont want to be here I want to be at home either in bed on my DS or on the sofa curled up with a duvet watching something.... why do we have to work it's so pants!!!

Anyway, i am just grumpy cos it's Monday morning... At least I dont have to think about hospitals anymore am there Friday morning, but that's aggges away - woo. Oh and it's this fancy dress party on Saturday :S arrrgh. Looks like it'll be a last minute thing as usual... apparently even Tara doesn't know what to go as! ha.

 

[abz]

i think you should claim tinkerbell

 

[Smiley Bon]

Yeah i did think that... i have wings somewhere... I might ask her if she knows if anyone else is going as Tinkerbell...

Although i have nooo idea what i'd do hair wise for that :S one of my wigs perhaps :S

 

[abz]

wear the pink curly one it really suits you. and it shouldn't really itch now that you have hair aren't your wings pink too? i can't remember... and you can wear something low cut now and maybe put a plaster on your sore patch and stick a big paper flower on it or something? something tinkerbelly... i don't know. i'm not the tinkerbell type... points for effort?

abz xx

 

[Smiley Bon]

Oh I have 2 pages on my blog now how exciting!!

Yeah i like the idea of my curly wig although i was thinking... i know what tara's like and she is very very likely to just pull my wig off and try it on, and then i'll be left looking horrible :S I know what she's like, she just won't think.... So i am a bit worried. But then what can i go as that wears headscarves :S Gah i just don't want to go

Anyway, I dont know what to do about it.. i'll think about it when i am less tired and mopeing that it's monday!

Well I just had an egg breadbun for lunch just sliced egg with salad, i thought it'd be a bit dry but was fine with the lettace and tomato so that's all good and now i'm having a packet of Snack A Jacks They are great for my crisp cravings I bought 2 packs while i was at the shop, so i can have some tmw or whenever too. Will help me avoid the snack machine in the kitchen.

I think i'll go make a cup of tea now

 

[Smiley Bon]

I'm really not enjoying this cup of tea, funny really, i need to be in a tea mood.. but i didnt fancy coffee.. and i wanted something to warm me up and make me not want to eat more!!

I've had a big breadbun and some snack a jacks... and yet i still want more!! my stomach just seems never full!! well i am not hungry as such.. more peckish... gah. I need to stop this, I felt like this all weekend too, and it took lots of willpower to not eat all the time!

I've just had lunch i shouldnt need anything else til tea time, about half 6 tonight i can have my tea. Think i'll do a salad with a jacket pototo

I need to stop thinking about food... think i'll read about something on Wikipedia. There is a story about Lady Jane Grey on the radio, she sounds interesting how she was only queen for 9 days, i think i'll read about her, i need to stop thinking about food!!

 

[Smiley Bon]

I've been thinking. I think I shall commit to doing my Pilates DVD every Tuesday and Friday. That is do able and if i set days to do it then I won't just think, "Oh i'll do it tmw instead." Tuesdays I am generally more awake after the weekend and before the lack of lie in's affect me... then Fridays I finish work early, so have the time to do it then.

Yays, I have a plan

 

[abz]

sounds like a good plan honey will you want to do it on a friday though? still. you get to sod off home before me. hmph

your lunch sounds lovely. i am drinking more robinson's fruit and barley than any one person should i'm sure, ha. but it's point free. think i'm on my sixth glass and it gives me something to pick up and stick in my mouth

how's your afternoon at work going?? i now have a nice pretty web page... well. partially pretty. i'm still working on some table issues, but i am getting there

abz xx