How are you dealing with your addiction?

[Katycakes]

Rach, I identify with the eating i secret bit... that was me, too. We can beat it, honey.

Smiley, hope you get to a solution you can work with. I am veggie & love wholefoods, my diet would be v. healthy if it hadn't been for the chocolate, cake, biscuits, sugar & eventually pasta, bread, butter etc I stuffed myself full of. I have lost weight too on wholefood 'eating healthy' kicks, and on things like slimming world, but in the end nothing worked, the self-destruct impulse over-rode it all. And that was when I hit rock bottom & found CD & began to work my way back up.

It is just shakes/soups to start with, but I didn't feel hungry & nobody could have been more amazed than me about that! It's not for everyone, but for me it really has been amazing. Good luck honey in finding something that will work for you.
xxx

 

[Smiley Bon]

Hi Rach

I totally identify with you... I too have ordered two portions of chips from chip shops before so the woman thinks I'm buying for me and someone else... and also so i can then have 2 portions, even though i am stuffed after 1 portion...

And i also hate eating in front of people :S I sit in an office so I always think people are staring at me, and when i eat something bad are judging me :S

And i've hidden wrappers in the bottom of the bin

Well... it's good to face up to these things to realise the extent of the addiction I suppose :S I haven't admitted that stuff to anyone before!!

But I am a new woman now well I am hoping :S ha. I am doing good with my salads and fruit and wraps at work and I can't remember the last time I went to the chippy or had chocolate wrappers to hide wooo.

Hope you're well miss? How are you getting on?

 

[abz]

i too have stuffed choccy and icecream wrappers inside boxes in the bin etc. especially when young and living at home as my mum battled to keep me thin and failed miserably. she is naturally thin, although now she's approaching 48 she's starting to moan about spreading, ha. i WILL be thinner than my mother on my wedding day

abz xx

 

[Minerva]

This is such a difficult topic for me, as it is for everyone that has responded so far.
A year ago I was that person who would HIDE wrappers, plan my binging around the times when my boyfriend wasn't home, or even when he went out the room I'd be in that cupboard looking for something to stuff down myself as quick as possible. The more unhappy I became with myself, the more I turned to food especially when I felt lonely and bored. After all, food is a friend that never abandons you. Food is always there for you no matter what. ... wrong.

Abstinence on LL and group sessions with counselling actually helped me think about it properly. Why was I acting this way? In the end it's my own inadequacy to face my problems that made me turn to an easy answer, a quick fix. But no problem can be avoided forever, it will always come back unless it's resolved. I know this now.

My BMI is now normal, and is at it's lowest than it's been since I was born. I have always been a fat child, at the age of 14 I was size 18-20. I know a lot of food as comfort has come from my family - they have never been great at solving problems - the answer is always usually 'Have something to eat!'. You're in pain? Have a cake. You had a bad day? Have some chocolate. You're feeling ill? Have something tasty. ...
Now I know I *used* to be a huge pasta addict, used to adore just chewing on something all the time. ... A 9 month period of abstinence made me see that I don't have to be that fat girl anymore because I could change. I can see I'm an addict and I freely admit it. After abstinence I actually SEE that get more energy from eating an apple in the day than eating a piece of toast, and my mood is definitely better! I no longer care much for pasta to be honest.

I quit smoking about a month ago and I get cravings still. I'm on LLLite plan which actually doesn't feel like a diet compared to the mainsteam LL plan at all. But I do get cravings for starchy/sweet food, except that I have no escape this time from the cravings! This is as pure as it gets because whenever I tried running from food I'd run straight to my friend Nicotine. Now I can't do that anymore and have to face my food demon face-to-face and ask it the most direct questions that I can;
WHAT DO YOU WANT? WHY HAVE YOU COME? HOW CAN I DESTROY YOU?

I ask these questions every time, and usually I may still want whatever I was craving, however I thought about the emotion attached to it, and I work on my feelings instead of longing for food. I don't run from my cravings and neither should you... You just need to admit and allow your feelings to come to the surface, admit that you're feeling vulnerable. It's hard to admit that you need a bit of help as well sometimes, don't be afraid to ask for a hug.

I deal with secret eating habits by actually announcing when I have something to eat, whether there is someone to hear it or not. My boyfriend thought it was a little odd at first, but I explained it to him and he was happy that I had shared something that was so personal to me. After a while you will find you no longer need to announce it because you'd come in the habit of not having to hide it. After all, secret eating often revolves around guilt and shame... which would no longer be there.

I space out my meal times if I'm caught in-between I have an apple or some vegetables. If there's not much time to go I WAIT for the right time to get especially hungry and feel proud that I've waited!


However, there is ONE more thing I need to deal with... which is DEPRAVATION. How do you get around it? The reason I feel that many of us go back to our old habits is that we often feel on healthy eating plans, on abstinence we DEPRIVE ourselves of that cream cake/chocolate/crisps - whatever it is for you. It may be a conscious or a subconscious feeling, that yearning, a want that is unsatisfied because you're not allowing yourself to have it. This is a serious issue for me personally since I feel it is the last hurdle I need to jump across.
I have partly begun to deal with it by not cutting out my triggers completely, but allowing myself a small portion every other day (I buy a small bar of Galaxy which is 250 kcal each) and have it in the evening. I don't actually think about it at all until it's time for 'dessert' after dinner! So, I have a controlled portion, in moderation.

I think when it comes down to it, we need to accept our flaws, not run from them. If you have a problem with cream cakes, then have one. But learn to have ONE and learn to have satisfaction from knowing that you have controlled yourself. It will come easier with time I think.


Any other ideas as to how to deal with this hurdle?

 

[Smiley Bon]

Brilliant post there Minerva You spoke a lot of truth, and it is excellent to face up to these things, and I have done a lot of that while reading people's posts on this forum.

Everything in moderation is the key. I think that is why I have opted for the healthy eating diet type, I want it to make sense and be a change of thinking about food and a change of lifestyle for me rather than a quick fix. I need to face up to how and why I eat, so I can keep it up for the rest of my life. I want to be healthy as well as lose weight.

Thanks for your thoughts anyway, it was good to read

 

[shrinkingsarah]

I am a food addict.
I have gone out in the car for a secret eating session of a familysize bucket of kfc and eaten it, taking the dog with me so no-one wonders where I am. I have also done this with a chinese meal.
How many times have I eaten until I felt sick and thought I would explode, having to lie down till I felt better!
When going on days out, my first thought has been, ooh what do I get to eat- fish n chips/kfc/chinese...rather than other aspects of the day, talk about food overtaking my life!
I have lost weight in the past, ignoring posts like this, thinking I would deal with it when I got to goal, never quite getting there and so putting all the weight I lost back on again. I have learnt the hard way that problems cannot be avoided, and will come back unless resolved.
So time to start dealing with it. start feeling desires, to try to understand them, not giving in or distracting myself, instead working out why, is it an emotional response, or a food that triggers bingeing, and learning new responses appropriate to the reason for the desire. Ok it will take practise. I have plenty of time.

 

[slendablenda]

Good luck Sarah

Your mini goals look quite major to me. Don't forget to build in some positive treats as you reach them.
If you are determined you will get there. I used to focus my whole life around food too. I realised my whole identity had morphed into a food person, expert, cook, provider, taster, arranger, planner, eater etc, etc. ]
When I went out for a meal i always decided by portion size and never considered calories. I could annd did eat for England.
Now things have changed for me. I still enjoy food, but it doesn't rule my life any more. I'm in charge of IT now.
It's a release.
I hope it turns out like that for you. Keep busy with other things.

 

[KD]

I have lost weight in the past, ignoring posts like this, thinking I would deal with it when I got to goal,

This is really common, along with people on TFR thinking that just because they can manage a TFR, they are 'cured'.

I see it over and over again.

Have just done a couple of posts about putting things into practice, so it's at the forefront of my mind at the moment

So time to start dealing with it. start feeling desires, to try to understand them, not giving in or distracting myself, instead working out why, is it an emotional response, or a food that triggers bingeing, and learning new responses appropriate to the reason for the desire. Ok it will take practise. I have plenty of time.

Yep. Got it in one. Reading about it is really helpful. Putting it into practice is the clincher and the bit people tend to forget.

 

[shrinkingsarah]

Thanks guys. that's what I'm aiming for slendablenda, to be in control of food. and I fully intend to get there. I amended my goals to add some treats, I'm sure there'll be more, moneys tight but I've managed to buy enough takeaways in the past so I'm sure I can afford to pamper myself! ooh and i love your outfit in your after photo, shape + design, it's lurvely

and KD, I'm working on a bit at a time, I have worked out several possible things to do when I have a craving, after acknowleging it, to overcome it if needs be, and then the questions I have to ask myself once it has passed to discover and understand the cause, and then I can work out how to best deal with the trigger. I'm sure I'll have plenty of practise to see if my method works. I'm also planning on working on my assertiveness, as I know being submissive most of my life (then getting upset as my needs are ignored and I am misunderstood, then turning to comfort food....) is a major issue for me, so I ordered a CBT workbook to work through, and intend on getting lots of practice at home and where I work as a volunteer. And when things don't go as planned, I shall cope in one of my new ways and hopefully overtime, learn that food is not the answer!

 

[Katycakes]

Sarah, let us know how you get on... am very interested in your pro-active approach, fighting the same battles myself. I am especially keen to know whether you think the CBT book is helpful... thanks, and good luck!

xxx

 

[vanda]

You struck a chord with me Sarah. I too am working on the reasons behind my addiction. Have started to work through a cbt book today - the beck diet solution. First days exercise is to make a list of all the advantages of losing weight and list them in order of how important they are to you. Have written mine on some small index cards, one to keep in my bag, one for upstairs and one for downstairs! Aim to be prepared, must read and consider them twice daily so have posted two post it notes around the house to remind me.

Good luck with your work on cbt what book are you going to use?

Vanda

 

[shrinkingsarah]

Hey Katycakes and Vanda I just want this to be my last diet, and be in control of food, and know if I don't sort my issues, I'll permanently be losing then putting on. That is so not the life i want! I have a looong list of reasons I am losing weight on my wall, but the card thing is such a good idea, I'm going to borrow that and put my top reasons in my wallet incase of times of weaknesses when I go out. Thanks!
My CBT book is specifially for assertiveness as this is a major issue for me, and I know although it will be hard, it will also make a major difference to my life and how I feel, so the hardwork'll be worth it. (It's called the assertiveness workbook incase anyone has the same problem).
Good luck to you too ladies, let me know if you have anymore fabulous tips! xx

 

[Witchy]

What you say is totally true and has described me to a tee, im not as strong as you yet so I have a photo and a large poster in the pantry and in the sweety cuboard, I dont bother with the fridge so that one is safe.

Its a picture of me at my biggest and a note telling me not to be so weak and stupid and go pamper myself, so far working for me telling myself off, plus I hat that pic and would rather not see it.

Thank you for your words of wisdom