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How do i deal with the negative reactions?

#1
Hello everyone. I'm due to start lighter life total for the first time on Tuesday. I've been shocked by how horrid people have been and i haven't even started yet! From questioning how i can afford it. To telling me i'll lose all my hair and will have saggy skin. They also said i'd end up with food paranoia and will put it all back on again. I don't understand why others would be so against me doing it. I'm not sure how to deal with their comments and wondered if anyone else had been through something similar and how they dealt with it.
 
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hanmac

Getting her sparkle back
#2
Hi Nefertiti,
It's so disheartening when people aren't supportive!
To be honest I told as few people as possible that I was on Lighter Life, purely because I knew i'd be easily influenced by any negative reactions and I was determined to stick to the program. Luckily, most of the people I did tell were positive, but I did get a few negative reactions (especially from my ex-boss who had the 'you'll put it all back on' attitude)

I think people criticise Lighter Life because they don't really understand it. They don't understand how we can live on just packs, and so few calories.

I found that explaining that you have to have a consent form signed by your GP, and that the diet is doctor recommended reassured a few of my friends who were worried about me.
As for the 'you'll put it all back on' comments, explain that Lighter Life has a structured 'Route to Management' program where food is reintroduced slowly, to help us to manage our eating and maintain our new healthy weight for life :)

At the end of the day remember that you are doing this diet for YOU, keep strong and you'll prove them all wrong :)

Good luck!
xxxxxx
 
#3
I've had a lot of people say "I don't know how you can go with out eating, I couldn't do it". I explain that I am eating, just not as much as I used to! I think a lot of this is jealousy. People like to see others fail, especially if they have a weight issue themselves and don't have the commitment to do anything about it. Its easier for people to give negative comments than positive, which is something you will learn in one of the LL modules later on.

Now i have lost weight I get comments like "don't you think you have lost enough now?" or "you look like you are wasting away". Quite blatantly I don't as I still have a good coverage of flab! I think these are meant to be positive comments, but they come out wrong!

I guess you can tackle it in one of two ways. Don't talk about the diet, accept any compliments gracefully and ignore the negative stuff. Or try to educate them about it. This is what I've done and I think I've bored everyone to death with it so much they have stopped commenting altogether!
 
#4
Hi Nefertiti, and welcome! I'm sorry to hear that those around you are being less than supportive. I've got round it by telling very few people - and then only when absolutely necessary (to avoid having to explain myself at work functions etc). Only two people have been actively horrible to me about it so far, and I try to remind myself that that is their problem, not mine. I've been pleasantly surprised that everyone else (once they know it's GP-approved) are actually quite curious and interested.

Hannah is right, by the way. You are choosing to do this diet for you, and whether you choose to tell anyone or explain it to anyone is entirely up to you. Really it's nobody else's business unless you choose to share.

Good luck!!
 
#5
Muppet - I'm sorry this is off-topic but noticed you are a similar height to me and have a similar target weight (which I see you're really close to!). Can I ask you what size you are now? (Feel free to slap me across the face with a wet flannel if that's an impossibly cheeky question!!)
 
#6
lol, no slaping required, I'm very proud to announce it to the world!!

I'm a comfortable size 12 in the trouser department at the moment. I have quite big boobs though, so some tops I still need a 14 if they are fitted where as stretchy things I can get into a 10.

I was a 16 (sometimes 18 on the top half) when I started, so I have had to have a complete wardrobe change!
 

MagdaX

is Magdalicious
#7
Girls. You know I don't mince my words and say it how it is. So for that and all the haters in our lives I have two words.

Fcuk them!!!

Simples ;)
 
#9
I agree too! Tell them to get tae.....or ignore them it's their problem you will get loads of positive support on here.
X
 
#10
Thanks for your replies. It's really encouraging to have such positive feedback regarding the diet. I'll definitley bring up the fact that it is approved by the doctor. I'm hoping that after a few weeks on the diet i'll find the strength to tell them where to go if they don't like what i'm doing. I'm feeling supported just by being on this forum, so once again thanks.
 
#11
I agree, I have had lots of negative comments to. I was only a size 12 to start with and people didn't think I needed to loose weight, but I felt that was my decision to make. I start management tomorrow and very few people have congratulated me on my achievement, they just keep telling me I am too thin, but as I have only just crept into the correct BMI is clearly wrong. I feel very proud to have got to this weight as I haven't been here since before I had children and a little recognition would have been wonderful. :D:D:D
 
#12
I have a neighbour who is very negative about LLT, but it is coming from a genuine concern so I just think 'agree to disagree' and I just keep going. They actually think I've lost enough now and I'm still in the obese category and not even down to overweight BMI.
My GP is so positive about the weightloss that it makes it easy to ignore the nay say'ers.
Just do what is right for you, tell just the people you want that it is lighter life.
 
#13
i have a friend whose sister did LL who also had cerebal palsy and had a horrific experience with LL.
she is so critical of me doing LL and when i told her i had lost 1 stone the first thing she said 'your gonna put it all back on' and its 'not healthy'. i simply said if your not gonna be supportive then dont say anything. that will shut them up.

the fact that her sister had a bad experience doesnt phase me because if the programme is dodgy (which it isnt) then it would not be legitimate and would not be in business. i do think tho anyone with a serious illness should think twice b4 starting LL as it may trigger side effects more easily. also your doctor would advise u anyway.
 
#14
Hi, I only told my immediate family what i was doing because i didnt want anybody elses negative comments. Now 34 lbs later i dont care who knows, i have gone from a size 18/20 to a size 14/16 in eight weeks, my skin looks great , my hair looks fantastic i still have all my teeth and more energy than i have had in years. I cannot wait to get up in the morning knowing whatever i put on fits and looks good . People can know say what they like i dont care . You are the only one that matters do it for yourself and prove them all wrong. Good luck on your journey X
 
#15
Hi,
I'm only 4 weeks into LLT and my immediate family know what I am doing as well as friends and selected work colleagues. My Mother in Law made many sceptical comments about it being unhealthy, but since she has a weight issue herself I have not taken too much notice (I don't see her losing 19lbs in just under 4 weeks!!). I recently went round to a friends for dinner and took a food pack with me. I mistakenly thought it would all be OK until I was continually berated over dinner by my friend's other half when I explained why I was not eating like everyone else. I was so shocked and got really quite upset, so made a hasty retreat.
I have had the most support from my immediate family and work colleagues.
Don't take any notice of what anyone else thinks, what works best in terms of weight loss programmes is a very individual thing. Good luck!!
 
#16
I think it's so sad when people are filled with such negativity that all they can do is put others down.

The first time I did a TFR diet I did not tell anyone not even my immediate family or OH. I avoided family events and as my OH works nights we don't often eat together. After everyone started seeing the results I revealed what I was up to!!!

Really it's no ones bussiness but yours. If you think people are going to be supportive tell them. But if you think you may get negativity then keep it to yourself. It's hard enough sticking to a diet as it is without having others put you down.

Best wishes.
 
#17
Ignore them .... this diet is awesome, but mentally difficult at time. I've been physically fine for 4 months of just packs, ignore them, get your head down and look forward to a thinner you!
 
#18
Tell them that EVERYONE puts the weight back on with EVERY diet if they go back to the way they were eating before they went on it.

The latest research is that it is not unsafe to lose weight quickly. In fact losing it quickly has been proved to be more successful. If you only lose a little a week, you end up putting it all back on at the least little lapse, whereas with LL you have lost stones before you might have a little lapse and then when you put on for that lapse is a very very small percent of your weight loss. Therefore it is easier to control.

Also, there has been research on diabetics (type 2) to show that with a VLCD you not only lose fat round your body you lose the dangerous fat round the heart. They went back to these people 14 months later to see how they were. Some had indeed put their weight back on, but they found that the fat round the heart had not come back.

People tend to be more sympathetic if you say it is for health reasons (no need to explain your condition).

I loved what Pauline Quirk said when people started telling her she was looking 'gaunt'. She just replied "good".

So if anyone tells me I will have saggy skin I will say "can't wait" or "and what have I got now - saggy skin with a lot of fat underneath" If the person who says these things is a lot lighter than I am (which most are at the moment) and they are kind and mean well, I will say that I am trying to get down to their size, because it looks so nice ;)

I would also ask on what do they base their prejudices, and then have sufficient knowledge of LL to be able to answer them sensibly.

But I am doing this for myself, not them or anyone else.
 
#20
Flashing the medical card really works wonders, when I started my diet friends frowned upon it. I was constantly informed of healthy eating and exercise like they were new concepts i maybe hadnt tried yet! Now i am able to put a condition to my weight gain they dont bat an eyelid.
 


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