how do you lose 2 thirds of your self?

No advice or comment. Just one of these :bighug: x

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ok, i have had a good cry and then written my self a list of what i want to change what i have already changed
counseller gave me a thought exercise to do which i have done and that has helped as well

so positives :)

this time i have admitted the problem much quicker than in the past usually it takes years not months

I have asked for help from my counseller my husband and my family


i have cooked a nice low syn tea thai fishcakes celeriac chips mushy peas and salad

I managed to go out this afternoon to see my grandad

spring is in the air and i love spring

I have somewhere where i feel supported and unjudged where i have met the most inspirational, caring people xxx
 
Mandy my comfort is food.. So make lots of delicious yummy food that's really hearty and that will make you feel better hopefully :) :hug99:
X
 
:bighug: xx
 
Hi Mandy, hope you are feeling a bit better now, you are doing so well and you are a true inspiration!

By the way, you were saying you are going to start class - I would never give up my shiny stickers, they are part of your journey, and besides, I'm just a great big kid who loves collecting them! :) xxx
 
:bighug:

brilliant positives hun, love that you went out to see your grandad and the fact that you cooked a lovely low syn meal too :D
 
Hey sweetie, believe it or not what you are going through is such a natural part of the process, It is just so hard to let go of everything you have believed about yourself, and to be honest sweetie it's very early days to erase a whole lifetime of doubt, pain etc , even now 17 years after my very last counselling session, I still have the odd days of self loathing, fear, anxiety etc etc but they are few and far between these days, but the one thought that really made it all make sense to me was that I was striving to become normal again, but then what is normal and after all my experiences how could I be normal....so I settle for 95% normal and allow myself the freedom to remember that my life happened and as much as I can be "normal" to be 100% normal with everything that happened wouldn't be normal...if that makes sense.
Oh and another thing just the other day I had somebody say to me (and it hurt like hell that they did and believe me I had it out with them), that they were bored of hearing me talk about my past. I pointed out that someone else had actually brought up my past but even if they hadn't just because they (the person who had said they were bored ) had a wonderful childhood and were happy to talk about there's and felt that was great, and I didn't have a happy childhood, there was no reason I couldn't talk about mine and if they didn't like it they could p*ss off cos good or bad we are entitled to remember. (and you think you can ramble :giggle:)
Just know hun you are doing the right thing, you are talking, you are continuing your journey, both with the weight loss and counselling and you are also doing the right thing talking, ranting and rambling and even if no one else wants to hear it other than your counsellor...I always will hun and this is your diary so rant and ramble away it's all part of your journey to healing you :hug99: xxxxxxxxx
 
Hi Mandy, just wanted to say hello and congratulations on recognising what your trigger was and what you need to do to correct the part of you that wants to self-sabotage. I think we all do this in times of stress, but not all of us recognise it when it happens, but you have and you have got coping strategies to stop it from continuing............that in itself is a positive :) and makes you back in control :)

Hope you feeling better today and know that no matter what, someone on here can understand exactly how you feel and can help you through whatever it is at the time that is causing problems, be they emotional, food related, child related or OH related :) Thats what friends do :)

Take care of yourself and don't be too hard on yourself either.........that was last week, this is a new week and you have got your class to look forward to :) xx
 
ok today is the day :eek:

I have decided not to wait till next week but join today :eek::eek::eek::eek:

in exacrly one hour, my scales are showing a gain, but i am not surprised as i have had a problem with binging over the last few days :cry::cry:

I decided this morning that the best way to take back control was to take the bull by the horns and just do it

i have also decided to wipe the slate clean reset my stats and make a brand new start, don't want those shineys winking at me reminding me what a fool i am:sigh::sigh:

Its not about the numbers its about the way i feel, i now i have already lost that 4 st and nobody else's opinion really matters (present company excepted:D)

these way i can add the shineys as i earn them at class not weight till i have caught up :sigh:

not sure it makes sense to every one but it does to me :confused::confused:

I will pop back and sort it all out later when i get back xxxxx
 
Well done for taking the bull by its horns and good luck for group xx
 
Awwww Mandy, wish you all the luck in the world with your class & WI!

You are doing the right thing and you will feel soooooooo much better once you get that Initial WI out of the way!!

Onwards an downwards Hunny!! Xx

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Well i did it :D joined a class, very nervous but everybody was really nice :D

I have bit the bullet and changed all my stats and deleted the shineys so i could start again

so it's official I am no longer an online loser I am now a bonafida group member :D:D:D:D

new WI day of wedensday.

I am feeling positive and renewed, I can do this, so what if i take the long road, its far more scenic :giggle::giggle:

week one here i come xxxx
 
Hi Mandy

So sorry not been on here for a while, been sooo busy. Just read your diary and caught up. Like everyone else has said a massive well done to joining a class and I am glad that you enjoyed it. I go to class on a Tuesday and finds that it really helps me get focused when I've had a wobbly week.


Good Luck darling


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