How has your life changed? ... Is it really better being slimmer ... ?

[cah-ching]

Hi,

It's that time of year again whereby they'll be an flux of people starting diets and more pointedly joining Minimins.


I'm asking those who have made the journey or are a significant proportion of the way through to share with us "strugglers" and "new starters" their journey in summary and indeed whether
1. it is better to be slim
2. how different do you feel
3. do you feel society treats you (if there is any difference)
4. generally ... how (if at all) has your life changed?
5. what 'mantra' did you use to get you through?

ANyway the list isn't exhaustive .... please tell it in your own words if you can. I know there are several threads where this is depicted for each individual, but it would be great for there to be a central resource for success.
I appreciate we have a Before & After Picture resource thread ...... which is :wow: and great ... but it would be so FANTASTIC if we had a thread for those stories behind some of the pics (although having a before/after pic isn't a prerequisite for contributing to this thread ) .

I must say this is in part selfish as I walked through the sales today and was unable to buy shoes let alone clothes because of my size ... I don't want to be this way forever and I need motivation.

Whilst I acknowledge everything comes from within ... however reading about and seeing other people's journey to success (regardless of the mode of transport ) can act as a great catalyst. I hope other strugglers and restarters will feel enthused by this thread as I anticipate I will be.


All the best ,

CC xxxxxx

 

[KD]

1. it is better to be slim

Oh yes, yes, yes! A million times better! Everything is better. I can't thing of anything that I would prefer about being bigger except perhaps that feeling of being able to binge, because I'm already big, so what the heck.

2. how different do you feel

I feel alive, energetic. I feel much more confident. I love slipping in between small places just for the sheer fun of it I love running up the stairs at our local shopping centre. I love crossing sitting on the sofa with my legs all over the place, under my bum, criss crossed, and anything else you can imagine I love being able to eat in front of others without feeling I'm being judged. Oh..I could go on and on.

3. do you feel society treats you (if there is any difference)

Okay, to be honest, I haven't noticed this, but I have done when I've lost weight in the past. Not sure why, but the last time I was 'big', I didn't feel I was being judged in a negative way at all. Perhaps because I tended to mix with those who knew me in a professional capacity and as such I was judged on my skills at my job rather than my looks. Perhaps I was just blind to other people.

4. generally ... how (if at all) has your life changed?

I'd like to say that I've whizzed off and jumped out of planes, travelled the world, dance each night away, but that hasn't happened. Truth be known, it hasn't happened because of money and the fact that I didn't really want to do those things in the first place. I did use fat as an excuse for not doing them and have had to find other excuses.

But my life has changed in other ways. More confidence, more energy, less worries over clothes and how I'm going to get through the day.

Losing this weight has certainly been amongst my top 3 things I've done in my life.

thank you for doing this thread CC for it's just reminded me again of how lucky I am

 

[clairejen]

Is it better to be slim - oh yes absolutely. I feel much better about myself, and more confident in myself. And I am healthier, my bp is perfect again (according to my doctor) and that was the warning bell which caused me to diet in the first place.

Do I feel different - every time I try on clothes, every time I go to dance class and see myself with all the others lined up in the mirror, when I do warm up stretches and touch my toes and there are no folds of fat in the way.

Society doesn't treat me better because I am nearly fifty and women disappear at that age, regardless of their weight. But I don't care what society thinks, most of them are ignorant anyway.

Has my life changed - not dramatically. But I am happier with myself, which affects the little things in life, and it is these every day things which matter most to me. And I am healthier and usually more energetic. And my life has changed in that I am never going to diet again, because I will never need to as I am NEVER going to put weight on.

My mantra, it's at the bottom of my sig line, the song from Annie. Doing JUDDD I can just look to tomorrow, whatever I want to eat on a down day I can have tomorrow and it's only a day away.

I truly believe that there is a diet out there for everyone, we try many different ones but eventually we can all find something which is right for us. And while losing weight it is very important to work out how we will maintain our slim shapes when we reach them.

 

[cah-ching]

Thank you all for replying to my questions! Lots of food for thought.

xx

 

[ladylite]

Is it better to be slim - 100% yes and I am not slim yet just slimmer.

Do I feel different - 100% yes. and am I allowed to say my sex life has improved, plus a lot of other things.

Does society treat me different. - I dont think so it how I behave that is different. Although I think people used to think I was a greedy pig, which I was, but an uncontrollable one, not one who ate for the sake of it, I was a complete foody addict. Everyone is so supportive at the moment.

My life has changed, because I now know I will live longer. As I said earlier my sex life has improved - so that is two of us who has benefitted. I can cut my toes nails, so dont keep laddering my tights. There are many changes that I am really enjoying.

At the moment I am still the biggest in my family and they are all encouraging me, but I am sure there is going to be a time when they start saying I have lost enough etc. That will come when I start to be smaller than them, but I am preparing myself for this.

 

[Diva]

What a wonder-full thread!! Thanks Cah-Ching for bringing all these great stories and experiences out into the open

 

[Vicx]

Loving this thread! Great inspiration and defo something to keep us going! Fank koo!!

 

[Barb]

Brill thread CC, really makes you think doesn't it? I want all of the above, I deserve it and so do you!

Love

 

[Porgeous]

1. it is better to be slim
Absolutely 100% better, whilst it won't solve all of life's problems it does mean that you can get on with living your life without everything revolving around your weight and also all the emotional baggage that comes from feeling unhappy about your weight. From a health point of view I have early stage arthritus in my knees and this has not been a problem since I lost the weight. I also had high blood pressure and was borderline diabetic so undoubtedly the health benefits are there too.

2. how different do you feel
Predominantly I felt good about myself. After years of self loathing I was finally able to look in a mirror and like what I saw. It was like a great weight had been lifted from my shoulders (it literally had!). I now walk with a spring in my step and my head held high rather than shuffling along hoping to be invisible.

3. do you feel society treats you (if there is any difference)
I'm not sure if society treats you differently because of the weight loss or because you become a more confident person but I have definately noticed I seem to get more respect. People listen when I speak and when I walk into shops assistants will come over and offer me assistance. This could be more to do with how I feel about myself and this comes across rather than purely their reaction to my weight.

4. generally ... how (if at all) has your life changed?
My life is basically the same as I don't believe weight loss to be a miracle cure for all life's problems. However the predominant thing in my life was my weight it controlled everything I did, going out, holidays, shopping etc etc. The loss has meant that my weight is no longer the primary focus and I can just get on with living. I can get dressed in the morning and go rather than spending hours changing in the hope something will look acceptable. I can eat in public without feeling ashamed, I can go out without worrying about being able to find something to wear that won't make me look too fat etc etc. All of these things combined have made me a happier more carefree person.

5. what 'mantra' did you use to get you through?
I stole Icemoose's mantra, eyes down on the prize. The first time I read it it really moved me. He told someone to keep their eyes on the prize and not to stop until they got there. I have kept this with me all the way through and when times get tough I keep telling myself "don't stop until you get there".

 

[mindless]

Hi CC,

I've pondered this thread for some days now as it has made me reflect very strongly (as you do anyway at this time of year) on what I REALLY feel.

So having pondered (and no doubt once I post, I'll think I got it wrong) here are my views

1. it is better to be slim
Totally - if only for no other reasons that you are healthier in body and in mind BECAUSE you did something for you. Anything else is a bonus. It costs money (new clothes) and has many other implications (relationship, image issues, social impact etc) but is definitely better.
2. how different do you feel
I actually (at the moment) feel more unsure about myself. I knew the fat me and had low expectations of myself. Now I've achieved this I'm left in a quandry. I've done something to be proud of and something for me and I like the person that did it a hell of a lot more than the other guy - and I am not used to that.

I would have to say that I have lost a lot of the 'spark' that was the fat me where my personality seemed more prevalent and in some ways attractive

So I am having to re-look totally at what I want out of life and out of me. Losing weight doesn't make lifes problems go away (aside from weight related health issues) - but it does give more 'options' to consider. I am struggling with options and feel as if I am at a pivotal point where I could fall back through maybe lack of courage or plain stupidity of not seeing what is blindingly obvious to others.
I was ready to be thinner - but not sure I could have been as I have had so many failures to get there.

The only analogy I can think of is how many people remain totally sensible or are ready for winning the lottery - even though they do it every week?
3. do you feel society treats you (if there is any difference)
Initially the element of society that knows you does treat you differently to the way it did before - mainly along the lines of 'bloody hell, look at you' !. However, that is the society you know and it makes you feel great. Then you widen out and find you don't get the same reaction - or the 'fat person' reaction and that feels really odd - the lack of reaction when you are used to 'something' either negative or positive.

of course, you do start to may feel more confident after a time in which case society treats you different but if you are a confident fat person - I would venture you would almost get the same reaction after the initial impact. Character and personality overcome body image quite quickly.

But its hell of a shock to come to terms with the fact that some people treat you the way they do - not because you are fat or thin, but because they don't like (in whatever way) you. easy to think otherwise when fat.

4. generally ... how (if at all) has your life changed?
For me - its better, but a lot more confusing. Options I never thought I had - I now can consider. However, there is a danger in thinking what was in the past was 'second best' and can be discarded as clearly you had less options then. That may not be the case - I have no idea - all I can say is that it is a seriously scary sea to be starting to sail on without support and some form of guidance.

The other thing is to retain a goal. If a lot of weight has been lost, then a lot of time and effort has been focused on losing it. When you get there, after the massive initial euphoria there is a huge feeling of anti-climax - 'is this it?', 'what now?', 'where do I go from here?' are the kinds of thoughts you have (well I do)

Thats why I've got myself another goal to aim at - and will then have another and another etc because I am scared witless of drifting. I need something to cling to and focus on. However, I'm no sure if this reliance on a goal is healthy as I think its a substitute for really sorting my head out.
5. what 'mantra' did you use to get you through?
the mantra I used was

'I deserve better'

and I have a list of things I AM GOING TO DO that I couldn't consider before. (need that bloody lottery win LOL) - the small ones such as being able to put down the table to in a plane or being able to sit in a standard class train seat with comfort or buying clothes without an X in the size are more powerful actually than the biggies I think as they are milestones in normal life

ANyway the list isn't exhaustive .... please tell it in your own words if you can.

So I reckon CC, I can say that it is DEFINITELY BETTER TO BE SLIM, but please don't think that it comes without a whole load of other 'head' stuff that needs to be thought and worked through. Everyones 'head stuff' will be different due to the circumstances that they are in, why they got overweight, what relationships and jobs are like - but everybody will have them.

Expectations need to be realistic and achievable and its very easy for them not to be. Not being able to meet expectations of being a thinner person can stop you staying a thinner person.

Not sure that helps much, but wanted to say - its not necessarily an untroubled bed of roses - or maybe I am just one screwed up chap LOL

 

[Diva]

I know I've said it already but I really, really love this thread!!

 

[clairejen]

Mindless, you have brought up some really important issues there. It is very easy to blame all one's problems on being overweight, and then a shock to realise that it wasn't the only cause. What you say about missing having a goal is very true too, I have been working hard on setting new goals of personal improvement which are not weight related. It is very interesting to have this from a guy's perspective, girls tend to chatter about their weight together and are always interested in how their friends are losing or maintaining, I'm guessing men don't do that much. So we get a lot of peer group support and admiration (plus the odd bit of jealousy and bitchiness) which helps the sense of achievement.

 

[KD]

Oh Mindless. You can't believe how much nodding I did whilst reading your reply. Proper little Churchill Insurance dog.

A few things I'd love to pick up on, but really busy today. Hopefully get time later. Maintenance is my favourite subject (as you might have noticed)

 

[htpink]

Maintenance should be the important thing - its the rest of your life, whereas the weight loss is a small part of it!

 

[cah-ching]

Oh Mindless. You can't believe how much nodding I did whilst reading your reply. Proper little Churchill Insurance dog.

A few things I'd love to pick up on, but really busy today. Hopefully get time later. Maintenance is my favourite subject (as you might have noticed)

Please post them on here when you find the time. This thread was set up to act as food for thought as well as inspiration.

 

[cah-ching]

Mindless & Porgeous,

To go back to what you were saying .... - it's easy to blame all life's troubles on being fat. I realised this a long time ago and I have to say that I'm scared sh*tless at the thought of losing weight and still feeling the way I do ... in part. I know that my singledom isn't down to looks ... there are plenty of weighty women with blokes in their lives. I know my weight has no bearing upon the way I feel about work. I think I just need to feel happy about something and the rest I can work through in other ways. I believe I have to feel good about myself before anything else can get better in my life's journey and then I think I can work on my other demons. No point in working from unsound foundations is there .....?

Thank you SO MUCH for contributing to the thread. I hope others will follow your lead.

xxxx

 

[KD]

I would have to say that I have lost a lot of the 'spark' that was the fat me where my personality seemed more prevalent and in some ways attractive

Umm. Yes. That might have happened with me. Kids (who do tend to be rather honest at times), told me I wasn't so much fun. In fact, in some ways I feel that I'm a more serious person.

I'm really not sure why. I wasn't trying to hide behind my size. I wasn't trying to be fat and jolly, but I did see a need to be bright and cheery all the time. Making a laugh of things. I do still do this, but I think I have less need of it. I think I'm more at peace with myself. Don't have to put on the act.

This isn't because my size is smaller. It's nothing to do with my size to be honest. I feel it's because I realise that I have achieved something amazing and I've done it for me. I always thought I couldn't really look after myself. I never had the desire to really. Not in a health capacity, but I did it. For that my self esteem has soared.

Again. I don't think losing the weight so that I looked better improved my self esteem. Doing the 'job' did though, getting healthy, feeling well and knowing it was down to me.

Kinda proud of myself but that took ages after getting to goal. A gradual realisation of what I had done. Now I prefer the slightly more serious me. The one that doesn't have to keep lighting that spark.

I was ready to be thinner - but not sure I could have been as I have had so many failures to get there.

Not sure I understand this one Mindless. You aimed to get slimmer. You got slimmer. Where's the failing part It wasn't a race. You get there when you get there, and then your there

I think it takes time to accept it deep down though.

The other thing is to retain a goal. If a lot of weight has been lost, then a lot of time and effort has been focused on losing it. When you get there, after the massive initial euphoria there is a huge feeling of anti-climax - 'is this it?', 'what now?', 'where do I go from here?' are the kinds of thoughts you have (well I do)

Yep. It kinda drifts away as soon as you get to that finishing point. I did rebel against this for a while. Where was everyone? Where's my book telling me what to eat, and what do I do if it all goes pear shaped, and who can I tell my weight to I'd venture to say it felt a little like being asked to leave home and set off into the big wide world.

I panicked. Felt lonely and lost, but gradually found my way. It takes time though.

Thats why I've got myself another goal to aim at - and will then have another and another etc because I am scared witless of drifting. I need something to cling to and focus on. However, I'm no sure if this reliance on a goal is healthy as I think its a substitute for really sorting my head out.

I don't think it's unhealthy. Gets a bit boring after a while though

More in a minute. Think I might bore the socks off you though. You just brought up so many feelings that I went through Mindless.

 

[KD]

Actually, thinking about it. I want to continue, but I think this thread should be about all the great things that happen when you get to goal, not all the mind blowing scary stuff

I'm not around tomorrow (well..maybe not until later) and might finish it off in either the maintenance forum or the Bring your head in forum...if Mindless doesn't mind me quoting him there??

 

[mindless]

Actually, thinking about it. I want to continue, but I think this thread should be about all the great things that happen when you get to goal, not all the mind blowing scary stuff

I'm not around tomorrow (well..maybe not until later) and might finish it off in either the maintenance forum or the Bring your head in forum...if Mindless doesn't mind me quoting him there??

quote me darling, quote me

no such thing as bad publicity LOL

just let me know where they are as I don't go much to all fora (plural of forum?) as I don't have the time

x

 

[lighterlifeclaire]

I love this thread... its good to hear the negatives aswell as the positives! thanks to everyone thats contributed.. x