hurtful comment...

Discussion in 'Slimming World' started by sarahm85, 10 July 2010 Social URL.

  1. sarahm85

    sarahm85 Silver Member

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    On what should have been a special day, a little comment has really upset me today.

    There was a family gathering and my sister's fiance's parents came along, although my sister and fiance are on holiday. I don't see his parents that much, as they are quite overbearing and inappropriate at times, which was confirmed today...

    My sister's future FIL walked into the room, and very loudly in front of everyone said to me "Wow Sarah, you've lost a lot of weight, you were very tubby before weren't you? You needed to lose all that tubbiness!" I've had lots of people commenting on my weight and that I look good, which is fine, but the fact he said very publicly I was fat upset me. Yes, I know I was overweight, but I don't think people should say it outright to someone unless they truly know that person and know if a comment like that is not going to upset them.

    What upset me more is the fact that he then made a further comment about my sister needing to do the same thing as myself and lose weight. My sister lost over 3 stone with SW over a year ago but due to ill health she has gained it all back. She has been finally diagnosed with a rare disorder and is undergoing an operation next week, then hopefully once she's feeling better she can get back on SW. He knows all of this so I can't believe he made such a comment about his future daughter in law and have no care about her health and instead making criticism about her looks. I'm relieved she wasn't there, it would have really upset her. I have found out it's not the first time he's made a comment about my sister's weight - it's totally out of order. He's no oil painting himself!

    Rant over!!
     
    Last edited: 10 July 2010
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  3. salsaqueen

    salsaqueen Full Member

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    I'll keep this short.....What a d*ck head!!!
     
  4. Picklepud

    Picklepud Full Member

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    oh dear hope you didnt get too upset ... I know what comments like that can do, some people just seem to think they have a right to say whatever they like! You should have mentioned very loudly something about rude people and oil paintings!! Hope your sister gets on the mend soon too and his eyes may pop out of his head next time he sees you;)
     
  5. tinkerbellsmum

    tinkerbellsmum Gold Member

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    ((( ))) aww hun i'm so sorry some people don't think before they open there mouths.
    don't let him upset you hun hes not worth it and like you said no oil painting so probably jealous.
    you have done amazing hun and i'm sure you look fab and even before you lost weight i'm sure you was beautiful just like i'm sure your sister is.
     
  6. debtdummy

    debtdummy Silver Member

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    u did something about it so just ignore him. i was recently in tenerife at a waterpark and a lifeguard asked if i was pregnant at the top if a waterslide, i was gutted, hence i am here on sw today. think positive.
     
  7. Faustina

    Faustina wants a dancer's body.

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    What a self important rude little git. :mad: It says a lot about how ugly and thoughtless he is as a man to come out with such stuff.

    Whenever that happens to me (I was mooed at a while ago :rolleyes:) I always look at them and think, "I wouldn't want to be you, have your heart, your life, your view of the world for all the tea in China, I am so lucky to be me and not you, you've no idea how saddled you are with a personality like that pal."

    You know you're lovely right? Just the way you are, Loveliness itself, that's you and don't you go forgetting it missus. ;)
     
  8. *Cupcake*

    *Cupcake* is working hard.....

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    ^^^^^^ all of the above and a (((((hug))))) xx :)
     
  9. sonkie

    sonkie Gold Member

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    Some people just have no tact at all...rise above him and his small narrow mind....though feel sorry for your sister....
     
  10. Seagray

    Seagray Member

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    Hi

    So sorry you were subjected to that! BUt they really arent worth your frustration!
    My Mother in Law said to me one day: ur piling on the weight arent u carol? & i said: yeah Sarah, & ur not getting any less wrinkly are u? lol
    She another time said a similar remark, to which I lept off the seat & yelled "Heck!!, is that whats wrong with me?.. I knew there was something the matter, thanx for enlightening me Sarah!!" lol

    I cant handle it from people I dont know... its the shouts from cars that get me!!
    Be brave..... its THEM with the problem, not you! Remember 65% of the UK is a size 16 or above.. U are not alone!

    cx
     
  11. Littleslimmingbee

    Littleslimmingbee Gold Member

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    Oh my, its just like my OH's parents.

    She also showed us another priceless moment of insensitivity today.

    wev booked a w.e away, (which shes invited herself along to)




    we realised the date we are away is joes SIL's due date.

    'oh no' i said, and then MIL to be said


    ' well, its not like she needs us to have the baby, we'l be back soon enough'



    Of course, why would she want people around to help with her first child?



    and then, his grandma said to me - as she does everytime we visit-

    you look nice fern, gosh you were big when we first met you. You look lovley now.


    every single time, word for word. grr LOL




    ignore them hon, theres no excuse for it but its just the way there are. It still stuns me they think that behaviour is acceptable!
     
  12. Alcoholiday

    Alcoholiday Full Member

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    Tell him fat people can lose weight but stupid people will always be stupid :mad:
     
  13. libra77

    libra77 Silver Member

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    Precisely!

    Sarahm, make up a voucher on your PC saying "This voucher entitles you to a one hour lesson in how to be sensitive" and put it in his christmas card! He just might get the hint!...
     
  14. nattyclare78

    nattyclare78 Silver Member

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    nothing else I can add really, just supportive hugs xxxx
     
  15. cheekychinchilla

    cheekychinchilla Gold Member

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    People can be so horrible :( Lots of love to all those suffering with insensitive family and friends!!x
     
  16. Cleashy

    Cleashy Full Member

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    its amazing how much things like this can hurt!!

    i went away for a few weeks to turkey with my parents and the guy who ran the hotel suggested in a what i like to assume "helpful way" that i wasn’t healthy as i was "too big"


    the fist time he said it i put it down to maybe a language/culture thing and got over it (or tried)


    he then decided to repeat himself pretty much daily including advising me (while about to eat) that i shouldn’t be eating certain things


    he was, i should point out, not trying to be nasty at all but he did manage to pretty much ruin my holiday



    :cry:
     
  17. thescaleslie

    thescaleslie Full Member

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    idiot my mil says to me ive lost too much weight (i havent been trying for that long and i only lost 6lbs) i think she is jealous that i am able to do something about it.
     
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  19. downsizingmycurves

    downsizingmycurves Silver Member

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    Some people just have rubbish social skills. I doubt his will improve, you on the other hand, have control of your weight so just smile sweetly back at him. :)
     
  20. avisk

    avisk xx

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    "And you, Sir, were very rude and unpleasant before, and you STILL need to lose all that rudeness!"
     
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  21. Hannah2

    Hannah2 Full Member

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    I tend to find that people who have not been in this situation dont realise that the way they word things, or the words that come out of their mouths really hurt.

    Similar to Cleashy, I was on holiday in Madeira and was ordering in a restaurant, the waiter decided to tell me that I shouldnt be ordering a coke as I was too fat. I should have punched him, instead I cried inside.

    I will say dont let him get to you, but I know it is not that easy.

    (((hugs)))
     
  22. avisk

    avisk xx

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    Any waiter who said that to me would find himself reported to the manager straight away, with a written complaint to follow it up.

    You are the customer - the staff are there to serve you whatever you want, not to nag you!
     
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