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husband of the year award

#1
Starting off the competition of the
Husband of the year awards
The honorable mention are :


The United Kingdom


...followed closely by
The United States of America

and then ................ Poland


but 3rd Place must go to
...........
Greece




it was very very close
but the runner up prize
was awarded to....
............. Serbia


but the winner of the
husband/partner of the year

......is

......... Ireland
Ya gotta love the Irish.


The Irish are true romantics….look, he's even
holding her hand.





Woman hasManin it;

Mrs. hasMr . in it;
Female hasMalein it;
She hasHein it;
Madam hasAdam in it;
No wonder men always want to be inside women!

Men were born between the legs of a woman, yet men spend all their life and time trying to go back between thelegs of a woman....
Why?
BECAUSE THERE IS NO PLACE LIKE HOME


Okay, Okay, it all makes sense now.....
I never looked at it this way before:


Ever notice how all of women's problems start withMEN?


MENtal illness
MENstrual cramps
MENtal breakdown
MENopause
GUYnecologist
AND ..
When we have REAL trouble, it's a HISterectomy.





Send this to all the women you know to brighten their day.



Send this to all the men just to annoy them ......
 
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#2
Oh, is this anti-men ... now you've hit my level :8855:

Man says to god: "god why did you make a woman so beautiful?"
God says to man: "So you would love her."
"But god," the man says, "why did you make her so dumb?"
God says: "So she would love you."
 

Mini

Administrator
Staff member
S: 18st2lb C: 16st1lb G: 11st2lb Loss: 2st1lb(11.42%)
#3

Mini

Administrator
Staff member
S: 18st2lb C: 16st1lb G: 11st2lb Loss: 2st1lb(11.42%)
#5
I love this one:) My husband is still there:p

[YOUTUBE]Twivg7GkYts[/YOUTUBE]
 
#6
:8855::8855::8855:

My hubby wouldn't dare!

A chain letter for you to pass on ...

This letter was started in hopes of bringing relief to other tired and discouraged women. Unlike most chain letters, this one does not cost anything. Just send a copy of this letter to five of your friends who are equally tired and discontented.

Then, bundle up your husband or boyfriend and send him to the woman whose name appears at the top of the list, and add your name to the bottom of the list.

When your turn comes, you will receive 15,625 men. One of them is bound to be better than the one you already have.

At the writing of this letter, a friend of mine had already received 184 men, four of whom were worth keeping & her house looks immaculate!

REMEMBER! This chain brings luck. An unmarried Jewish woman living with her widowed mother was able to choose between an orthodontist and a gynecologist. You can be lucky too, so DO NOT BREAK THE CHAIN!

WARNING: One woman broke the chain and got her own husband back!!
 
#7
:8855::8855::8855:

My hubby wouldn't dare!

A chain letter for you to pass on ...

This letter was started in hopes of bringing relief to other tired and discouraged women. Unlike most chain letters, this one does not cost anything. Just send a copy of this letter to five of your friends who are equally tired and discontented.

Then, bundle up your husband or boyfriend and send him to the woman whose name appears at the top of the list, and add your name to the bottom of the list.

When your turn comes, you will receive 15,625 men. One of them is bound to be better than the one you already have.

At the writing of this letter, a friend of mine had already received 184 men, four of whom were worth keeping & her house looks immaculate!

REMEMBER! This chain brings luck. An unmarried Jewish woman living with her widowed mother was able to choose between an orthodontist and a gynecologist. You can be lucky too, so DO NOT BREAK THE CHAIN!

WARNING: One woman broke the chain and got her own husband back!!

:8855::8855::8855::8855:
 
#10
When God created woman, she had three breasts.
He then asked the woman, "Is there anything you'd like to have changed?"
She replied, "Yes, could you get rid of this middle breast, it's a bit pointless?"
And so it was done, and it was good.
Then the woman exclaimed as she was holding that third breast in her hand, "What can be done with this useless boob?"
And God created man
 
#11
One day three men were walking along and came upon a large raging, violent river. They needed to get to the other side, but had no idea of how to do it.
The first man prayed to GOD saying, "Please, GOD, give me the strength to cross this river." Poof! GOD gave him big arms and strong legs, and he was able to swim across the river in about two hours.
Seeing this, the second man prayed to GOD saying, "Please, GOD, give me the strength and ability to cross this river." Poof! GOD gave him a rowboat and he was able to row across the river in about an hour.
The third man had seen how this worked out for the other two, so he also prayed to GOD saying, "Please, GOD, give me the strength, ability and intelligence to cross this river." And, poof! GOD turned him into a woman. She looked at the map, then walked across the bridge
 
#12
Women are Smarter Than Men

There were 11 people being rescued by hanging onto a rope that came down from a helicopter. Ten were men, and one was a woman.

They all decided that one person should get off because if they didn't, the rope would break and everyone would die.

No one could decide who should go, so finally the woman gave a very touching speech about how she would give up her life to save the others because women were used to giving up things for their husbands and children and giving in to men.

And all of the men started clapping....
 

Mini

Administrator
Staff member
S: 18st2lb C: 16st1lb G: 11st2lb Loss: 2st1lb(11.42%)
#13
WOMEN'S DICTIONARY:



40-ish.............................................49

Adventurous.......................Slept with everyone

Athletic......................................No tits

Average looking..................................Ugly

Beautiful...........................Pathological liar

Contagious Smile..................Does a lot of pills

Emotionally Secure......................On medication

Feminist..........................................Fat

Free spirit....................................Junkie

Friendship first..........................Former slut

Fun..........................................Annoying

New-Age.................Body hair in the wrong places

Old-fashioned..................................No BJs

Open-minded.................................Desperate

Outgoing........................Loud and Embarrassing

Passionate...............................Sloppy drunk

Professional....................................*****

Voluptuous...................................Very Fat

Large frame.................................Hugely Fat

Wants Soul mate...............................Stalker



WOMEN'S ENGLISH:



1. Yes = No

2. No = Yes

3. Maybe = No

4. We need = I want..

5. I am sorry = you'll be sorry

6. We need to talk = You're in trouble

7. Sure, go ahead = You better not

8. Do what you want = You will pay for this later

9. I am not upset = Of course I am upset, you moron!

10. You're certainly attentive tonight = Is sex all
you ever think about?



MEN'S ENGLISH:



1. I am hungry = I am hungry

2. I am sleepy = I am sleepy

3. I am tired = I am tired

4. Nice dress = Nice cleavage!

5. I love you = Let's have sex now

6. I am bored = Do you want to have sex?

7. May I have this dance? = I'd like to have sex with you

8. Can I call you sometime? = I'd like to have sex with you

9. Do you want to go to a movie? = I'd like to have sex with you

10. Can I take you out to dinner? = I'd like to have sex with you

11. I don't think those shoes go with that outfit = I'm gay
 
#15
Two new additions to periodic table of elements:

Element name: WOMAN
Symbol: WO
Atomic weight: (don't even go there)
Physical properties: Generally round in form.
Boils at nothing and may freeze at any time. Melts whenever treated properly.
Very bitter if mishandled.
Chemical properties: Very active.
Highly unstable.
Possesses strong affinity with gold, silver, platinum, and precious stones.
Volatile when left alone.
Able to absorb great amounts of exotic food.
Turns slightly green when placed next to a shinier specimen.
Usage: Highly ornamental.
An extremely good catalyst for dispersion of wealth.
Probably the most powerful income reducing agent known.
Caution: Highly explosive in inexperienced hands.

Element Name: MAN
Symbol: XY
Atomic Weight: (180+/-50)
Physical properties: Solid at room temperature, but gets bent out of shape easily.
Fairly dense and sometimes flaky.
Difficult to find a pure sample.
Due to rust, aging samples are unable to conduct electricity as easily as young samples.
Chemical properties: Attempts to bond with WO any chance it can get.
Tends to form strong bonds with itself.
Becomes explosive when mixed with KD (Element: Child) for prolonged periods of time. Neutralize by saturating with alcohol.
Usage: None known. Possible good methane source. Good specimens are able to produce large quantities on command.
Caution: In the absence of WO, this element rapidly decomposes and begins to smell.
 
#16
Ask any man, and he will tell you that any woman's ultimate fantasy is to have two men at once.
While this has been verified by a recent sociological study, it appears that most men do not realize that in this fantasy, one man is cooking and the other is cleaning.
 
#17
Starting off the competition of the

Husband of the year awards
The honorable mention are :


The United Kingdom


...followed closely by
The United States of America

and then ................ Poland


but 3rd Place must go to
...........
Greece




it was very very close
but the runner up prize
was awarded to....
............. Serbia


but the winner of the
husband/partner of the year

......is

......... Ireland
Ya gotta love the Irish.


The Irish are true romantics….look, he's even
holding her hand.





Woman hasManin it;

Mrs. hasMr . in it;
Female hasMalein it;
She hasHein it;
Madam hasAdam in it;
No wonder men always want to be inside women!

Men were born between the legs of a woman, yet men spend all their life and time trying to go back between thelegs of a woman....
Why?
BECAUSE THERE IS NO PLACE LIKE HOME


Okay, Okay, it all makes sense now.....
I never looked at it this way before:


Ever notice how all of women's problems start withMEN?


MENtal illness
MENstrual cramps
MENtal breakdown
MENopause
GUYnecologist
AND ..
When we have REAL trouble, it's a HISterectomy.





Send this to all the women you know to brighten their day.



Send this to all the men just to annoy them ......
Brilliant!! :8855::8855:
 


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