I ain't coping with myself

Discussion in 'General Weight Loss Discussion' started by Channy35, 6 April 2009 Social URL.

  1. Channy35

    Channy35 Wants to do this!

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    I'm beside myself knwoing what to do because as soon as I stop a diet I go back to my old ways of eating and put it all back on. I' don't like myself very much anymore so I'm thinking of giving up enjoying any food. I'm at the point of wanting to drink liquid food and eat salads only I'm petrified to put on anymore weight but I don't want to just starve myself as that would be unhealthy. I think I need to give up all sorts of sweet treats besides Alcohol as I can't manage it. All chocolate has to go starting from the minute I eat my last creme egg. No chocolate at all, biscuits,cakes, milkshake, etc. Can't do it so it has to be over.

    My legs are hurting due to the pressure in my veins I just don't know how to cope with me anymore. All I know is when I wasn't eating I lost weight and think I should go back to that again. I need to get my mind right.

    Oh damn!!!:cry::cry::cry::cry:
     
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  3. chips with everything

    chips with everything Silver Member

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    Hi there, you sound low, come on chin up :) it happens to all of us.

    You only have to read the posts on here to know the motivation and mental side is so important but can be so illusive. So easy to say, but not so easy to do, I know :confused:

    You need to flick the "I'm going to start Healthy Eating switch" as opposed to the "I'm on a Diet and can Never Ever have Anything Nice ever again" switch. Look at the inspiration slide show, hang an outfit you love which is one size too small on the outside of your wardrobe, put the money you would usually spend on over indulgent treats in one place and buy yourself a nice magazine or new lipstick ... :p

    Come on Girl, you can do it. Set realistic and achievable expectations and keep coming back here and lots of good people will be rooting for your success :) xxx
     
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  4. furrysmudge

    furrysmudge Gold Member

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    I second that!!! XX fab post chipswitheverything x
     
  5. furrysmudge

    furrysmudge Gold Member

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    YESTERDAY, TODAY, TOMORROW
    There are two days in every week about which we should not worry.
    Two days which should be kept free from fear and apprehension.

    One of these days is yesterday with its mistakes and cares,
    Its faults and blunders, Its aches and pains.
    Yesterday has passed forever beyond our control.
    All the money in the world cannot bring back yesterday.
    We cannot undo a single act we performed.
    We cannot erase a single word we said. Yesterday is gone.

    The other day we should not worry about is tomorrow.
    With its possible adversities, Its burdens,
    Its large promise and poor performance.
    Tomorrow is also beyond our immediate control.
    Tomorrow's Sun will rise, either in splendor or behind a mask of clouds,
    but it will rise.
    Until it does, we have no stake in tomorrow, for it is yet unborn.
    This just leaves only one day . . . Today.
    Any person can fight the battles of just one day.
    It is only when you and I add the burdens of those two awful eternity's -
    yesterday and tomorrow that we break down.
    It is not the experience of today that drives people mad.
    It is the remorse or bitterness for something which happened yesterday and the dread of what tomorrow may bring.

    Let us therefore live but one day at a time.


     
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  6. Channy35

    Channy35 Wants to do this!

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    Thank you for taking the time to respond to me and I'm going to try and get my head right. I really never knew that i was so damaged by food and its effects. Food only needs to be fuel though doesn't it -you don't have to actually like it do you?
     
  7. new me 20009

    new me 20009 Silver Member

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    not sure if this will help but like you i was really out of control with regards to food.

    i actually had no faith in food i couldnt seem to lose weight eating, but then again i couldnt actually stick to LL,CD or the diets alike.

    its taken a long time for me to fight my food demons and come to terms with it. but i have been doing weight to go diet and now diet chef, it takes the thinking about eating out of the way as its there. the portions are smaller and im satisfied with the meals plus im losing weight in a healthy manner.

    i now truely believe in it being a life style change for ever not just a diet to lose weight then go back to old eating habbits like i have done many many times in the past. now i see that healthy eating will bring my body down to a healthy weight.

    good luck i really hope you find the right life style changes that help you get to where you want to be in life
     
  8. chips with everything

    chips with everything Silver Member

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    You seem to be saying there is no food you enjoy. So sad to just think of food as fuel. :(

    Food is everything from an Apple to a Zucchini and everything inbetween that A-Z of possibilities ! It's a lovely time for soft summer fruits and berries. Don't you enjoy a lovely bowl of fruit salad ? grapes, kiwi, mango, bananas, apple, pear or peach, orange etc.

    Maybe google - fruit list, vegetable list for inspiration and make a shopping list including the things you really like and putting a big cross against the things you hate ! There will hopefully be more there that you like than you think. Maybe try something different that you haven't tried before.

    Whether you enjoy Avocado or Yams, make Google your friend, search for recipies within results. I usually do .com as opposed to .uk and you can find wonderful healthy eating recipies from the USA and everwhere in the world. Obviously you need to do the work as to how it all fits in with the eating plan you're following, but you may even start to enjoy the challenge. :D

    I'm lucky I suppose, because although I enjoy too much of what I shouldn't eat :rolleyes: I also love most good things too :p
     
  9. Channy35

    Channy35 Wants to do this!

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    Hey 'chips with everything' it's not that I saying I don't like food my problem is I love it way to much and watnt to train myself to see food as fuel and nothing more because really that's what it's for and maybe should be about? Oh I don't know I so confused!
     
  10. chips with everything

    chips with everything Silver Member

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    Hi Channy,

    I know it's really difficult. We've all had different conditioning regarding food since we were small children. A bottle if you cried, a lollypop if you fell over, finish what's on your plate before you leave the table ... etc.

    If you count how many years that is - in my case a lot more than yours ! :eek: It isn't going to all get sorted by the time you wake up tomorrow, but you have taken your first huge step in wanting it to be different from now on.

    We are all unique and approach challenges in different ways. You just need to find the right way for you. I've only been looking at this website and the forums for a very short time, but they have been a great help and source of inspiration. Nowhere else have I seen such impressive weightloss achieved by normal people, just like you and me, that I can relate to.

    You just need to find the way forward that works for you. Maybe check out those food lists to find things you like that can be included as part of your journey. Good Luck Channy :eek:
     
  11. Taz

    Taz Spam Hunter

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    Hi Channy, that is exactly the problem with 'diets'. You go on a diet, lose the weight, stop the diet, regain the weight.

    I joined SW and never looked back. It's a healthy lifestyle rather than a diet, a way to eat forever with little restrictions leaving you free to enjoy all the foods you like and never be hungry. I could NEVER go back to my old way of eating now, my body has become used to the healthier foods and I feel so much better for it.

    I hope you find the plan that will suit you for life x
     
  12. elizabeth

    elizabeth Silver Member

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    Just wanted to reiterate what Taz said. Before I began Food Optimising, I'd been trapped in a terrible cycle of massive bingeing for over 20 years. Tried every 'diet' going. Eventually got to such a point of despair over my inability to cope with food that I felt suicidal.

    Just over 4 months ago I looked again at the SW plan and decided to give it a go as a way of healthy eating - NOT as a 'diet'. I reasoned that I could still eat a lot on this plan, but at least it would be healthy food, not the junk I was seemingly addicted to. I didn't even care if I lost much weight, I didn't expect to. I just wanted to get some sort of control over my bingeing and work towards a healthier relationship with food.

    I haven't looked back. I haven't binged since November last year. I've re-discovered the pleasure of eating good, simple, healthy food prepared by my own hands, and enjoying it. The guilt has gone. The despair and panic have gone. Four months ago I would not have believed this to be possible.

    Oh, and as a little bonus, I've lost 4st into the bargain. ;)

    Please don't keep punishing yourself, Channy. That's what you'd be doing by starving yourself or only drinking your food, etc. These kinds of strategies won't solve the problems in your relationship with food. You need to stop seeing it as the enemy, stop blaming yourself, and start thinking about how to eat healthily. Forget the whole concept of 'dieting'. A permanent reform of your eating habits is what will sort out your mind AND your body.

    I hope you find a way forward. :)
     
  13. mommyB

    mommyB love it

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    I've just started reading 'Eating less, say goodbye to overeating' by Gillian Riley. It seems good so far and i know other people on here have found it really helpfull.....just a thort
     
  14. Starlight

    Starlight Gold Member

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    I know sometimes it doesnt seem like it but food ISNT necessarily the enemy in our lives. It sounds like youd benefit much more from something like WW or SW which are both as Taz said more than diets, but lifestyles and totally re-educate you in the way you look at food and the choices you make.

    I eat so much more healthily now and enjoy my food a hell of a lot more. Food isnt something you can just remove permanently from your life, it sounds as if youd benefit from looking at it from another healthier perspective.

    You can do that AND lose weight :)

    Good luck with which ever route you choose.
     
  15. Channy35

    Channy35 Wants to do this!

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    I tried SW before but didn't lose anything as I think I ain't too much..and I did eat the right things as instructed. The only time I really lost weight was when I did Cambridge but I soon put it back on as you can see by my tracker.
     
  16. Georgiestar

    Georgiestar Silver Member

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    you sound like your going to give up dont be put off to easily, it is hard at first but you should have 3 meals a day and you can have anything and everything in moderation you just have to plan out what things to eat and set a routine.

    did you try SW for long enough?
     
  17. PurpleButterfly

    PurpleButterfly 16lb to go!

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    I think you're on the right track with the 'food is fuel' thing actually. That's not to say the fuel can't be decent fuel but nonetheless it's just petrol in the tank. The actual diet you do to lose weight is irrelevant to some extent, you can make any diet work if you're in the right frame of mind for it.
    At the same time, maybe try and assess where it is you're mostly going wrong in your eating, i.e. portion size, or wrong foods. Do you get impatient with slower results? Why do you overeat? Do you lose control when you get hungry? Etc. Do a self analysis but as if someone else was doing it for you. Then you can take steps to picking the right diet to suit your needs, i.e. for portion control something like diet chef might work, because they give you your portions out already so there's no room to cheat. If it's genuine hunger that's the problem then low carb diets are good. Etc.
    After that, you need to make a deal with yourself, to make that diet work for you. There's always a choice involved when you get to a difficult patch with the diet (which happens regardless of the diet in my opinion), which is to persevere and weather the storm, or to chuck the diet out the window and go back to your old ways.
    When you've lost the weight, you need to make the same bargain with yourself. You've already proved how strong you are by being able to lose weight, i.e. consume less calories than you need every day over a sustained period of time. That's an achievement! So now you have a choice, to go back to your old ways and put the weight back on, or to move forward and start making new choices, which will help you to maintain. It's not to say that you can't have the foods you like or have the odd off-day, you won't be depriving yourself of ever having anything nice again. I sort of think of it as 'lessons in food' - i.e. learning the lessons about moderation of treats, portion size at meals, not eating (or only eating fruit) between meals. One lesson at a time!

    Anyway I think I'm rambling so I'll shut up. It's only my tuppence but I hope it helps.
     
  18. Lynn8124

    Lynn8124 Gold Member

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    Hi Channey. I can understand your frustration and I hope you can find a path that works for you.:)
     
  19. Channy35

    Channy35 Wants to do this!

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    I bought the slimming world magazine and thought I can't do this as you can eat far too much on the plan. I know that I need less food and more exercise so I'm back to CD. The only plan that although it's nuts in some respects, its one that works for me and I get all the nutrients I need. Expensive but hey I'm worth it
     
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