I am so NOT leaving restarting till 8 January 2007 - 28 December it is!!!

[Mich]

Hi!

I haven't posted 'properly' for a while now because I have been too embarrassed, ashamed, disgusted and disappointed with myself

I started LL in Oct last year and lost 4 stone in 100days Switched to CD and continued to have success and lost a further 2 stone by June (slow but then I wasn't 100%). From June to August I managed to put on around 10lbs but still felt and looked pretty OK - having been the lowest I had been since 1990 I did feel great - was getting compliments daily, and complaicancy set in

We went on holiday for 3 weeks in August and it was the best holiday we have ever had as a family - I felt happy, confident to go in the pool with the kids and wasn't waddling around sweating like a pig as I had in previous years... so whats the problem I hear you say?.....

I had put 10lbs on on holiday in 3 weeks which was good - I ate what I wanted, when I wanted, some days packs, some days not, didn't binge, didn't over indulged - lots of salads and the occasional icecream or drink so was more than happy with 10lbs but since we've got home my eating/binging has spiralled out of complete control....and I have put on another 10lbs - this brings my weight gain to 2 stone....I was 12.12lb at my lowest point and this morning I was 15.2lbs

Every week I say - come Monday I'll be good - I was one week and in 3 days lost 7lbs, got myself in ketosis and then started eating again...wtf is all that about?! I feel stupid, ashamed and embarrased - I feel like I did at 19 stone - fat, uncomfortable and full of self-loathing. I hate going out - I feel people are looking at me and judging me and I can almost hear them whispering 'mmmm knew she wouldn't stick to it....look at it piling back on'.....I have resigned my job - that's been stressing me out since the start of term and I know it's the right thing to do but we need the money, I have no job to go to and at the moment my self-confidence and self-esteem is at rock bottom and I can't even think about the possibility of an interview To be honest I really haven't a clue what I would like to do....

Anyway, I won't ramble for much longer but I thought by putting it down here amongst friends I might get some support and a kick up the A*** that I really need... I have counted up all my CD packs and I have at least 3-4 weeks worth so from tomorrow I will be back on them....it won't be day One it'll be a re-start of my journey. I will post every day on this thread - just to say what I've eaten (pack wise) and how much I've drunk (water wise...lol)!

I will weigh myself and measure myself tomorrow and my first goal will be to get into ketosis! Weight wise the targets are:

14.6lbs - the weight I was when I got back from my hols
13.10lbs - the weight I was when I went on my hols
12.12lbs - the weight I was when I went to the ball in June (see picture in the gallery)

I also need to get back into my size 16 jeans that were loose as I have no winter clothes (because last years were a size 24/26/28 and I sold them!!)

Thanks for reading hope you haven't nodded off!!

Love

 

[IreneH]

I know exactly what you mean. On 31 July I was 15 st 13.5 lb and on Friday 13 October I was 15 st 4.5 lb and after a weekend of eating plenty I hate to think what I'll be tomorrow, but I'm going to weigh myself in the morning and ss. I can't believe how much I've messed around.
Irene xx

 

[kazz]

Good luck Mich....you already know wat the hard parts are so I hope you manage to get through them. You've done it before so u can definately do it again!!

 

[Mich]

Thanks Irene, sometimes it's nice to know you are not alone - if you know what I mean. How about me and you set ourselves a mini target in time for the WeMitt meet up in November? We are roughly the same weight (I will more than likely be 15.4lbs by the morning after what I've eaten today ). It's 6 weeks till the meet up - how about we say we both aim to be 14 stone by then? I'm sure we can both do it - I think my problems began when I stopped posting regularly - time to get back on board.... tomorrow is a new day... we can do this .... look at how far we've come already...

Thanks Irene, you really are a lovely lady and I can't wait to meet you and your daughter..
Love

 

[Mich]

Thanks Kaz....it was so easy the very first time around.... the problems began when I 'chose to just have one....'!! Really need the 'first flushes of love' back to this diet - I always say that doing a VLCD in the early days is like meeting a new man/partner..... it becomes all consuming and you are passionate about it but then it becomes comfortable and that's when you need to keep working at it...

I've changed my pic to one I had taken at the end of January as I was around the weight I am now

Will change it as I get smaller.....

Love

 

[Isobel1965]

Oh Mich, darling!!! You have committed the crime of being human!!!!!

Forget the past - have a good night's sleep and focus on tomorrow. Take it hour by hour - get on here as much as humanly possible - we will hold your hand for as long as you need.

You can do this, babes - you know you can!

(Oh and kick me up the jacksey in return, won't you! Puh-leeze!!!!)

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

 

[AKB]

Hi Mich,

I think you did really well to only gain 10lbs in 3 weeks of holiday. I gained 19lbs - yes a whopping 19lbs in 12 days!!!!!
4 days of strict SSing reduced it by 12lbs so I'm struggling to lose the last 7lbs and then get down to my goal of another 7lbs off.
It is just as hard, if not harder, to lose the last bit - especially as the compliments keep coming and we can see the difference ourselves and feel more positive!

You CAN do this - just take one day at a time and I look forward to seeing you in Birminham!!

Lots of love,
A
xxxx

PS - you are dead right about Irene - she's LOVELY

 

[Mich]

Oh Mich, darling!!! You have committed the crime of being human!!!!!

Forget the past - have a good night's sleep and focus on tomorrow. Take it hour by hour - get on here as much as humanly possible - we will hold your hand for as long as you need.

You can do this, babes - you know you can!

(Oh and kick me up the jacksey in return, won't you! Puh-leeze!!!!)

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Kick up the bum for you and me both then..... thank you so much for your kind words - I promise to try and post as much as possible - it really helped at the beginning and as this is a new beginning it'll help again. I feel all warm and fuzzy and loved you guys are the best - I will be nearing my target by the VFBC in January.....

Thanks again Issy - your a hunny
Lots of love

 

[Mich]

Hi Mich,

I think you did really well to only gain 10lbs in 3 weeks of holiday. I gained 19lbs - yes a whopping 19lbs in 12 days!!!!!
4 days of strict SSing reduced it by 12lbs so I'm struggling to lose the last 7lbs and then get down to my goal of another 7lbs off.
It is just as hard, if not harder, to lose the last bit - especially as the compliments keep coming and we can see the difference ourselves and feel more positive!

You CAN do this - just take one day at a time and I look forward to seeing you in Birminham!!

Lots of love,
A
xxxx

PS - you are dead right about Irene - she's LOVELY

Thanks AKB for your kind words too.

The thing is you've got back from your hols and are tackling the gain - me I stuck my head in every food item going since I got back and gained a further 10lbs+ but it's done now and I am feeling positive that I will crack this - tomorrow is a new day and by the WeMitt meet I'll be 14 stone - that I promise

Your weightloss is phenominal (sp?) you should be so proud - half the woman you were eh? I have the utmost respect for all of you who have lost so much.

Looking forward to meeting you too at the meeting - I'm coming with MandyB2 and we are staying at the Jurys - are you staying over? I only live in Coventry so it's not far for me - where in Northants are you? I used to work in Crick many moons ago..

Thanks again for your kind words.

Love

 

[AKB]

Hi Mich,
I had written a whole, what I took to be deep and meaningful post but then my router crashed (bl00dy Belkin cr@p) and I must go to bed as I'm exhausted but in a nutshell....

You can do this, just keep going. Take each day as it comes, this whole diet thing is a journey not a race.

See you soon,
Love,
A
xxxx

PS I live in a tiny village by J15 of the M1. I won't name it as I've slagged it a few times on here and don't want the indigenous duelling banjo players to burn my house down!!!! What am I worrying about??? - half of them don't have electricity let alone the internet!

 

[Mich]

AKB

You make me laugh!!! I love the description of your village - as you say very RV - that programme scares me..... it really does - especially the black n white minsteral type man.....scary - OH loves it

I can see we are going to have alot of laughs in B'ham - does anyone know if it's school uniform or 70's get up?

Anyway, just off to bed - water and packs at the ready for tomorrow - I can do this - I WANT to do this - for once I want to finish something I started.....bring it on.....failure is not an option

Nighty night (another bizarre but funny programme...lol)

Lots of love

 

[flirty40greeneyes]

Mich - just read your post and it was like reading about myself. I started LL last Oct - then transferred to CD. Lost 4stone and was very pleased with myself as down from a size 20/22 to a size 12/14. Then we went on an all inclusive holiday to Egypt and I ate and drunk what I wanted .... came home intending to get back on SS and have p***ed about soooo much I've now put on 2st and am in size 14 but probably should be in size 16!

I too have decided enough is enough and just started a diary .... so will too post on it regularly to shame myself into doing something before I've put it all back on!

Will keep checking up on you too ... and will you do the same for me please????

 

[Mich]

OK..... so far so good this morning

Should really be at work but have been suffering with a cold,cough,temp all weekend so decided I needed another day to recover.....

Have just gutted the bathroom and in the process drank 2 litres of water Anything to keep me out the kitchen

Just going to head downstairs to have my first shake - it's going to be a hot choc shake - may even be daring and have a mint one...lol!! I have a Kenwood Frothie Maker and love it - couldn't make the shakes without it. I also bought a smoothie maker in Spain which my parents brought home for me but it's got a European plug on so need to get an adaptor - can get a European to English no probs but not hte other way round

Anyway, hope everyone is having a good day... keep glugging

Lots of love

 

[Roch]

Hi Mich well done 2 u for getting back in control.Hope u r not feeling 2 rough with the cold.
Have a good day and take care x

 

[MandyB2]

Hi Hun.. it's so great to see you posting again It's just like old times... and just like old times we're going to get stuck in and get to where we want to be... now's our time... AND WE'RE GOING TO MAKE IT HAPPEN!!!!!

I have complete faith in us hun... and we will be crosssing that finishing line in the not too distant future

Much love as always xxxxxx

 

[Mich]

Hi Mich well done 2 u for getting back in control.Hope u r not feeling 2 rough with the cold.
Have a good day and take care x

Thanks Roch - not doing too bad so far - had 3 litres of water and a pack - this is my danger time so trying to stay out of the kitchen Got a bit of a headache coming on - could be the cold too as my nose is bunged up etc - but taking a couple of solphidines anyway...

Hope your having a good day too.....don't forget your water

Love

 

[Isobel1965]

Go Mich, GO MICH!!!!

Hope today hasn't been too horrid for you, darling. I'm SSing today too - yuk! lol But needs must, I'm afraid!

Get that water down you and in a couple of days, you'll be flying!!!!!

 

[Mich]

Hi Hun.. it's so great to see you posting again It's just like old times... and just like old times we're going to get stuck in and get to where we want to be... now's our time... AND WE'RE GOING TO MAKE IT HAPPEN!!!!!

I have complete faith in us hun... and we will be crosssing that finishing line in the not too distant future

Much love as always xxxxxx

Awww Mandy, Mandy, Mandy - you started off as a good cyber weightloss mate and now you are just one of my bestest mates

It does feel a bit like 'old times' except we are all a bit wiser than this time last year - my day is going well, hope your's is too....thanks for text btw was just going out the door to collect the rugrats!

Looking foward to seeing you in November - only around 6 weeks now....

Speak to you later this week.

Loadsa love matey

 

[Mich]

Go Mich, GO MICH!!!!

Hope today hasn't been too horrid for you, darling. I'm SSing today too - yuk! lol But needs must, I'm afraid!

Get that water down you and in a couple of days, you'll be flying!!!!!

Thanks Issy - the water for me has never been a problem it's the fridge, the cupboards and the 'crisp box'.....lol Know what you mean about needs must too..... you are always so disciplined on SS - you'll be back where you want to be in no time!

I will glugg for England because when I get to the Toon in January I want to be looking gorgeous

It's almost our anniversaries isn't it? God it seems like we've know each other (me, you and Mandy) forever!!! Where did that time go? Remember your concerns about a ermmm 'chubby twinkle '......lol how I laughed - still smiling now remembering that posting....

Lots of love

 

[Karen1972]

Hi Mich

Well done for taking the bull by the horns and getting back on track!!!! So you lost the plot for a wee while - don't we all?!?!? You've still done well my girl just remember that and don't give yourself such a hard time - as Issy said you're only human!!

I'll look forward to reading your successes and think it's a great idea setting mini goals!!

Oh and i give great kicks up the arse if they're needed!!!

So good luck honey, and keep us posted regardless of how you're doing ok??? You need us most when you're struggling!!!

Luv,