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I couldn't even do ONE day.

S: 18st10lb C: 18st10lb G: 11st0lb BMI: 41 Loss: 0st0lb(0%)
#1
:cry: I am miserable. I feel like someone should come and slap me so hard and dig me a grave. (no joke.) I am gutted, upset, a complete failure and weak!
I re-started doing CD today, after faffing about for 2 weeks, because i started 2 weeks ago, gave up after day one. Started seeing a new CDC yesterday, yet STILL can't do it.
I just want to curl up and die.. I can't believe i can't even do ONE day.

I think i have a huge confidence problem and i think its affecting me sticking to it. - I think this problem is due to how i feel about losing. . When i have it clear in my mind that losing weight it number 1 priority, it truly is and i can see myself being so so happy once all the weight has come off, but throughout my pregnancy with my son, i gained a bit of weight, and it caused stretchmarks all throughout my body, not just on my stomach. I have gotten them on my arms, legs, back, stomach, butt, breasts, under my arms & then as soon as i start dieting, thats it.. them thoughts come back and i just start thinking 'well either way, i am going to be ugly, so whats the point' .. but i know deep down there is a point. I just can't cope looking like that anymore, i feel like CRAP. My partner is in the british army, so that is so embarrassing for me to look like this, when hes one of the fittest in the country.

What on earth will i ever do?
 
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Guru

Silver Member
S: 22st10.5lb C: 19st1.5lb G: 10st0lb BMI: 41.9 Loss: 3st9lb(16.01%)
#2
Aw Cassie :( Don't be too hard on yourself. This diet is HARD. Particularly the first few days. Rather than a day at a time, maybe you need to take it an hour at a time?
 

charley24

Silver Member
S: 16st4lb C: 16st4lb G: 10st0lb BMI: 36.8 Loss: 0st0lb(0%)
#3
The first time I did CD I lasted til 8pm on day 1.

This time I suffered the days getting into ketosis my sleeping ALOT, not going in kitchen, drinking so much water and doing things like crosswords, ironing, anything to take my mind off it.

It is true the 1st 4 days are hard, if you can get past this, you won't look back.

Just try again !!!!!!!!! I am sure that you will get there !
 

emmapetty

Going for Goal!
G: 13st0lb
#4
Hi Cassie,

I'm so sorry to hear you are feeling so down about getting back into the swing of things.
If it's any help, I re-started in April. To say I faffed around is an understatement. I found it so hard re-starting and sticking to it, eventhough I knew it was exactly what was right for me personally, my health and life it general.
I sat down and wrote a pro's and con's list. The pro's far out weighed the con's and I managed to get my head into gear.
I was lucky because my HB was extremely supportive. I actually began at a weekend, so I could ensure my HB could watch me like a hawk "being cruel to be kind" though as he put it!
After the weekend I had hit ketosis and managed to stay on board. It might be worth you having a 'pact' like that to make sure you stay focussed?

Once you get through those first few days, you will start to feel much better and the diet will be much more manageable for you.

Big Hugs x x x
 

Dragonfly

Silver Member
S: 16st8lb C: 12st8lb G: 10st10lb BMI: 31.2 Loss: 4st0lb(24.14%)
#5
Try doing it in a different way. Split your pack and make up 6 smaller shakes over the day. In between your water have some hot mint tea or any other leaf tea you may like. Keep yourself busy, don't think about it as a diet. Its the start of the new you. Stick with it and good luck.
 
S: 18st10lb C: 18st10lb G: 11st0lb BMI: 41 Loss: 0st0lb(0%)
#6
I wish with all my strength i could stay away from the kitchin, but i can't because i have to make a prepare my sons food, i wish i could sleep to get over it, but i can't i have to sit in a house all day, lonely, just watching my 17 mnth old playing with his cars. Its been tipping it down all day, so i couldn't go out.. i can't go to my parents for a few hours because they're decorating, i haven't had a single thing to keep occupied and to top it off, my son is teething with his molars so hes suffering, i am also suffering from lack of sleep.. i had a ruff nights sleep, then when me and my son went down for a nap at 7.00am this morning, the next door neighbours thought it would be a good idea to drill through the walls in my bedroom and hammer the walls.. its just been the WORSE day ever. I don't know what on earth i can do.

Thanks for the advice though ladies, you're all so nice!
 

*butterfly*

Silver Member
S: 12st6lb C: 11st11lb G: 9st7lb Loss: 0st9lb(5.17%)
#7
Cassie, please don't beat youself up about this. We all know what its like to start/fail 10 times over before you eventually get to the point of being able to actually stick to it. I find it really useful to look through here at others experiences and successes - it helps me to focus on what i want for myself.
Would it help to write down all your reasons, on here or stick it on a kitchen wall- then re-read it everytime you feel you can't go on. The first few days are the hardest, it really does get easier once you get into ketosis, but tackling the habit of eating is difficult. Is it worth trying to batch cook or buy in for family so you don't have to face cooking every day? Could you get out of the house and physically away from food if the temptation is strong?
As for being 'ugly', ask yourself who else in the world, no matter how slim will not have hangups about their body. Its pretty normal, no matter how big or small we are. I'm under no illusions that this will not get me fit/toned/get rid of stretchmarks or cellulite, but just like some women view stretchmarks as simply the marks of being a mother, i will try to see my faults the same, and be proud that they signify such a huge transition that i am responsible for and proud of. (and you can hide most of those problems behind clothes anyway!) See it as a blip and try again - we'll be here for you and one day it will click into place for you. Hugs xx
 

minxie

One day at a time!
S: 15st3lb C: 14st9lb G: 10st0lb BMI: 35.2 Loss: 0st8lb(3.76%)
#8
(((Cassie))) No wonder you've had a tough day sticking with it - after being up all night, having people drilling through your walls and then being stuck indoors all day anyone would find it hard! Don't be too hard on yourself.........you wouldn't be so hard on a friend would you? Start again - as others suggest try and do it hour by hour and keep busy - maybe something like an exercise dvd would help -your son would find it very funny to see mummy leaping around the room! In weak moments I log on to here and look for inspiration - and always find it.

As to feeling that you will still be ugly - that's in your mind. I have lots of stretch marks from being overweight - they'll never go away but I'd rather be thin with them than fat with them. Your self-esteem will increase with each day that you succeed sticking to CD. I put a sticker in my diary every day I stick with it - and put a big red one on days that have gone badly - it's an incentive looking through and seeing more gold than red stickers. Perhaps you could do a star chart hour by hour - having visual evidence of your success might give you a boost. Also I drink so much water - every time I think I might be hungry, might be bored, am fed up I reach for the water - it's a cure all and now I miss it if I can't drink lots (if I'm out and about and don't want the loo every 10 mins!:)).

Finally your husband loves you - every bit of you. Imagine his face when he sees you looking slim and gorgeous. My husband sees me every day and has trouble noticing the changes in me - if your husband is away he'll notice it immediately. His reaction should makeyou feel like a million dollars, stretch marks or no stretchmarks.

Good luck - today was a blip - go and buy those stickers, or get busy with paper and coloured pencils!
 

*butterfly*

Silver Member
S: 12st6lb C: 11st11lb G: 9st7lb Loss: 0st9lb(5.17%)
#9
Sorry, had posted before read about you being stuck in house - are there any jobs need doing? Bizzare as it seems as it involves food, i can waste loads of time reorganising my kitchen cupboards. Could give you chance to throw out any naughty's. xx
 

Guru

Silver Member
S: 22st10.5lb C: 19st1.5lb G: 10st0lb BMI: 41.9 Loss: 3st9lb(16.01%)
#10
I second the cleaning! Clear out your wardrobe. Get rid of anything that's too big and then work out what you want to be able to get back into next. Throw away anything that has holes in it/is worn out.

I have a whole row of clothes waiting for me to get back into them...
 

curlywurly1234

Cambridge Consultant
S: 15st1lb C: 8st10lb G: 8st10lb Loss: 6st5lb(42.18%)
#11
Cassie,
Big hugs to you hon.....
Its probably really hard for you at the moment if your tired and your little one is not settled hon.... Dont beat yourself up give yourself time and do it when you are ready as your head needs to be ready to do it if that makes sense.....
You can do it when your ready and you will do it, dont put yourself down.. most of us that have been smaller and have been on weight throughout the years have stretch marks.. A massive percentage of women that have given birth have stretch marks and I am one of them..
So smile hon and take it easy and start when you feel ready, chin up x
 

Wales

Silver Member
#12
Hi Cassie - agree with all the comments above, particularly from Curly about your head being in the right place for starting this diet. Whilst it should be the easiest thing in the world - not eating - it is the hardest mentally. If your son is teething at the moment and you can't visit anyone how about planning to start when you have a few things planned? When you have company or can get company to occupy you or help with your son?

As for stretch marks, I have loads and now have more and haven't even got children to show for it - just years of fatness! Is there anyone you can talk to for support as you sound quite down?

And listen, there are many types of fitness not just physical like your OH. I know many women whose partners are in the Army who live without them during the year looking after the family and that requires stength!

This place will be here to support you no matter what you decide to do x
 

kikuka

Tequila makes miaow happy
S: 17st1lb C: 10st11lb G: 9st11lb BMI: 27.6 Loss: 6st4lb(36.82%)
#13
Hi cassie

we all have poo days where everyhting seems to conspir against us. Don't worry, tomorrow will be better, and you will keep doing day one until you get day 2


NNow, the important bit. You are not ugly. Ok, you have stretch marks - who dosnt? I do and lots of them, and I have no kids so my only reason for having them is fat. The fat is going, the marks remain. They are my badge of honour, I have earned my stripes by dieting and losing the fat. Stretchmarks do not make you ugly, unattractive or un-loveable. They certainly do not make you unfit. Your husband is a fit army man? Lucky you! And he loves you. Nothing stopping you being a fit army wife. You are a loved wife, a loved mother, a loved daughter. You have tenacity (except for the worst of days, like us all) and you are wonderful. Soon, you will still be all of these things, just slim too!
Look at the important things you have, Stretchmarks on the list? No
come on girl, day one tomorrow. We are all with you.

My Nan always says that at the end of her life she wont worry about how many times she dusted the skirting boards, or how her arms went saggy. The important thing is how much life she got in beforehand!
 

imagisal

Full Member
S: 15st0lb C: 12st5lb G: 10st7lb BMI: 29.7 Loss: 2st9lb(17.62%)
#14
Hi Cassie,

just sending you my best wishes. I had some difficult times when my daughter was a baby so I am identifying with alot of what you have written about. Give yourself a break.......defer your CD start......wait until a few things calm down(neighbours etc) You can still work toward CD by eating healthily with the emphasis on low carb choices ......then in a while when you have gathered your strength and resolve (kept on here to read all the inspiring stuff!!!) .......you can start CD and getting into ketosis won't be sop tough.
Keep trying to do things better ...even little things...a little more exercise......good fresh food. As long as you are still trying you are being successful!! Best wishes.

Chin up

Hang in there.
 
S: 18st10lb C: 18st10lb G: 11st0lb BMI: 41 Loss: 0st0lb(0%)
#15
they'll never go away but I'd rather be thin with them than fat with them.
That comment alone had me crying! I had tears rolling down my face, because i have NEVER thought of it that way. I've only ever looked negitively about it.. and you, right there gave me hope.
All your comments were amazing, and i got some real useful advice, i really have no idea what i would do without you all.

My mum has finished up her decor today, and told me to go straight down tomorrow morning, so that will be the first thing i will do. I can't begin to explain how thankful i am too you all.. and i will keep posts goings on here, as well as trying very hard to help other people out.
:)
 

minxie

One day at a time!
S: 15st3lb C: 14st9lb G: 10st0lb BMI: 35.2 Loss: 0st8lb(3.76%)
#16
Ahhh, didn't mean to make you cry. I'm so glad that you have felt supported by us all and hopefully feel a bit better about yourself as a result. Delighted that tomorrow is another day and already looks better since your mum is having your little one - if all you do all day is sleep and have your shakes you will have made some progress! Keep with it and keep on logging onto here:)
 

Annie 100

Likes to chat
C: 13st13lb G: 11st0lb BMI: 33.5
#17
Hi Cassie,

I really feel for you. I wonder if the problem isn't all about the diet but a little bit about feeling really lonely. I remember when I had my first child, we had recently moved to the area and the only person I knew was my Mum and it wasn't enough. I totally know how hard it is to get out and meet other Mums and 'normal' human beings, but I really urge you to try. It will give your day a whole new focus, food won't be an issue, getting out and about will occupy your mind and knock that 'biscuit devil' off your shoulder. Once you start to enjoy a life that doesn't revolve round the house and just your Mum for company (no disrespect meant to Mum by the way) you can tackle the dieting stuff.
Hope that may be of help to you, I'm watching out for you on here now!! :hug99:
 


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