I dont know what to do

[Redpam]

Thank you all you lovely people. Your kind words have really cheered me up.

It does not help that my lovely Son has decided to share his cold with me. LOL

I have an appointment with the Solicitor on Monday afternoon which hopefully will clarify a lot of my worries.

H has gone to work now so I will not see him until tomorrow lunchtime when he will go to bed and then go to work again tomorrow night and sleep on Sunday. My last Client has left so I have shut the gates, locked the door and feel safe and happy with just my son and Mum at home.

I had not gained any weight after my drinks last night so was pleased with that and hopefully I will have lost the last pound to make the stone for tomorrows final of the September challenge.

Today H has been nicey nicey and being careful what he says like he always does after an outburst but I have just ignored him .

My Mum has been reading all your replies and was very touched that you have all been so kind.

I feel so much more positive now. Thank you all for caring .

love
Pam xxx

Snif sniff bloody cold!

 

[Redpam]

My Mum has a saying ' everyday is a day of your life', what she means is it is yours - not someonelses to ruin. In that day you deserve pleasure, appreciation, fun, laughter, happiness, success and contentment. Ok not every day will be full of those things but there should be a good sprinkling. If someone is taking all those good things away from you then you must fight back and get what you deserve - happiness in a world without judgement. I have no experience of what you are going through but I wish you the courage to change it. Love and Hugs

Thank you Barb

I think what your Mum says is so true and I now feel that why should someone spoil my life. I am not getting any younger and I want to live my life happily. I am not completely free to do what I like because I have the commitment of my Mum and my son. But they do not try to rule my life like H does.

I just want to look forward to a happier time than I have had lately

love

Pam xxx

 

[Jelly belly]

Just agreeing with what everyone elsa has said Pam and also sending you lots of hugs.

Dieting is stressful enough when you are happy and have support.

Please look after yourself and do what's right for you, everything else will fall into place eventually.

As the others have said life is far too short to be unhappy (I know thats easily said though)

 

[AKB]

Dear Pam,

I'm so sorry to hear the trouble you are having. I have lived thru a similarly unpleasant situation and know how physically, mentally and emotionally draining it is.
I can't add anything new to the already wise comments made by others other than to say that "this too will pass".

Look after yourself as you sound like the lynchpin around which your family revolves.

Love,
Ailsa
xxxx

 

[bluemoon]

Pam
Everyones words here have echoed exactly what I would have said. So all I will say is I wish you luck on Monday at the solicitors, it's your life and you only get one shot at it so you deserve to be as happy and content as you possibly can. If that means without H then so be it. You have a wonderful family by the sounds of it who will love and support your decision. I'm sending you hugs and positive vibes xx

 

[Barb]

Pam, how are you today? I have felt so worried for you, it is demoralising for you to live in this negative way with an H who doesn't deserve you. Thank heavens you ahve your lovely Mum and Son, that must help a lot. Let is know how you are getting on. Love

 

[Cheb]

Hi Pam

Just wondering how things are for you, hope you're ok.

Hugs

 

[Isobel1965]

Yes - me too, Pam - am worried about you, darling!! I hope everything's calmed down a bit!

 

[Redpam]

HI Girls

I'm back and feeling a lot brighter now. At the same time as all the probs last week I went down with the most filthy cold/flu and all I wanted was to crawl into my bed. No chance of that with H on nights.

Anyway went to see Solicitor on Monday (very nice young lady) Apparently things are quite complicated and I would have to pay him something although nowhere near the 50% he thinks he would get. The annoying thing about it is that it would be based on how much the value of my property has gone up by the general rise in prices and not what he has put in (nil). On the other hand I would be able to claim against his pensions and the fact that he has more capital than me (which he would not like). He does not know I have been to see the Solicitor and the bill is being sent c/o my brother's address.

We had a rip roaring row yesterday but after things had calmed down I told him that I needed more help and support from him on the home front and with my weight loss and he has agreed to this. He is quite attentive at the moment but it remains to be seen if he can keep it up or if he reverts back. I am not holding my breath.

Thank you all for your wonderful support. It gave me the courage to go to the Solicitor andfind out that all is not gloom and doom.

Thanks again

Love Pam xx

 

[IreneH]

Thinking of you Pam.
Irene xx

 

[Summerskye]

I've just caught up with this thread, and just want to say that I'm thinking of you too.

No amount of money can be a substitute for a happier life - which it certainly sounds like it would be once you take those difficult next steps.

Much love to you xxx

 

[Isobel1965]

How are you, Pam, darling?? Hope that things are ok or at least bearable right now.

love