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i hate myself

stacey

i love minimins me :)
#1
after my birthday i still ate the following day, but just a small amount, so i then ss'd all thursday and friday (even after cooking a meal then givin it away) my friends all rang and they were in town and i was quite depressed being on my own so i decided to go out n get ready

asked at the bar for a diet coke but was given vodka and coke, i thought 1 would be ok so didnt really think about it, next time my friend got me a drink in a different bar and again it was vodka and certainly not a single, by this time they were all drunk n i was feeling miserable, so i drank it, in the next bar they serve food, so thought i best have some food since i was havin alcohol on an empty stomach i ended up with pizza and onion rings (between 4 of us) so then i got upset i had eaten n ended up getting very drunk

yesterday had to be up for work early, n ended up having crisps and chocolate at work then a few drinks after work followed by a burger king :eek:

i have woke up all through the night crying that i can get myself into this mess, i know cd is hard but everyday is like a nightmare for me and certainly no1 is trying to make it any easier for me

i have woke up this morning in floods of tears, not sure if its all to do with the diet but i think it is, i usually go to my mams on a sunday but i have rang and told her am ill, just cos when i get there they will ask bout my diet etc, and accordin to my scales i have gained 2lb since i last saw my cdc :cry:which isnt huge amounts but i had lost 7lb before my birthday so i have put on 9lb :cry:

i have suffered with severe depression in the past so i cannot say only my diet is makin me feel this bad today but i feel like jus giving up on everything :cry:

xxx
 
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KD

Gone fishing
#2
Awww Stacey.
. It's the easiest and the hardest diet going eh.

You know that weight will come off again really easy. Just get back on that wagon and enjoy the buzz it can give you knowing you can get control again
 
#3
Its never to late to get back on track - draw a line under it and move on. Don't hate yourself - you are still the same person inside no matter how its packaged on the outside. Concentrate on all the things you can do well in your life - keep trying with the diet but don't let your entire life's happiness depend on it - there is so much else to do in life!
 
#4
Hi Stacey

Please don't worry. I know its much easier said than done but try not to. Ok so you've had a bad few days we all have them.
Just pick yourself up dust yourself off and start again. 2lb can come and go over night, just try and put your head straight and get back on track. What I've decided with my cd is that I'm just going to dip in and out of SS,when I'm feeling strong and 790 when I'm struggling. There is no shame in doing what suits you best that enables you to achieve your goal. So what if you don't SS all the time, our lives have to carry on whilst we lose weight and SS can't always fit into the bigger picture. The most important thing is to keep succeeding towards our end goal and accept that some weeks are always going to be better than others. Rome wasn't built in a day was it?
Just try and plan ahead, think positively and keep visualising how you will feel as you achieve each goal.
Why don't you make small goals like today I'm gonna drink plenty, go for a walk and have my shakes.
Tomorrow maybe your goal will be to make sure you plan for work and take your shakes with you. The next day you might be eating with friends so your goal could be to drink loads of water have your shakes and then make suitable food choices ie grilled chicken and salad no carbs and no alcohol. This way your goals become smaller and more achievable so you end up feeling successful whilst moving towards your long term goal.
You can do this, chin up, smile put on a funny film or programme and have a giggle. Take yourself out for a walk in the sunshine or sit in the park and read a book.

We're all here for you missy.

xx
 

arcticmonkeys

Silver Member
S: 14st4lb C: 14st4lb G: 10st0lb BMI: 32.3 Loss: 0st0lb(0%)
#5
Hey Stacey,

I can't say I know exactly how you feel because no one does really, but I can understand where you're coming from completely. You haven't failed so don't think that you have ok. Its been your birthday, your 21st too right? I bet you anything this time last year or maybe the year before you would have drank tons ate lots more than you have this year. So even though you feel you've done badly you've still watched how much you drank/ate subconsciously.

At the end of the day your still very young, and its REALLY hard doing this diet with all your friends out every blimmin night of the week whether its to a restaurant, maccy d's or a club. I think you've done brilliantly myself, I remember you saying you had 1 slice of pizza and 1 diet coke (something like that) on your birthday, I could never have done that!!!

I know CD is a great weight loss diet, but have you ever considered doing a different diet? Or maybe going onto 790/1000 on CD? When me and my friend use to do Slimmers World she use to save all her syns during the week and used it for alcohol and food at the weekend so she still got to enjoy yourselfs with your friends, because personally I think that is the hardest thing on this diet. (it never worked for me but it did for her.)

I really do think that you can pick up from where you left off though...just spend as much of your spare time when you're feeling low on this site as you can to take your mind off of things and see how well everyone else is doing to motivate yourself (I've have to do it too.)

Don't hate yourself your a pretty girl and you seem really nice, you should be proud of you! I know it doesn't always feel like it but size isn't everything, its the person that counts... and I wont accept thats a cliche :p

All the best x x :hug99:
 
Last edited:

Sunflowers

Wants to be a yummy mummy
#6
Stacey - you know what babe? I have so much respect for you... I struggle like crazy SSing for two days straight - that week of SS was absolute torture for me, only made easier by the fact I knew it was only for one week.. How yoou've done it for as long as you have I dont know - I admire you so much for that..

For me, personally, I can stick to 790 like a breeze.. No sweat... I love the fact you get a meal each day - I adore chicken and happily have that everyday!! The milk helps too...

Maybe 790 is the way for you ro go for a week or so while you get your head round it all again?

Good luck

xxx
 

arcticmonkeys

Silver Member
S: 14st4lb C: 14st4lb G: 10st0lb BMI: 32.3 Loss: 0st0lb(0%)
#7
Sorry if that doesn't make much sense in places tried to edit it again and left it too long :( Good luck Stacey x
 
#8
Stacey - if you had not been given vodka, this probably wouldn't have happened, so draw a line and move on, hun.

Alcohol weakens our resolve so that's a lesson learned - you'll have to go to the bar yourself lol.

We all struggle to get back on the wagon - even CDCs lol - so you are entirely normal. All we can do is take each day at a time and keep on trying.

xxxx
 

stacey

i love minimins me :)
#9
thanks everyone

i think i was jus havin a bad week emotionally myself but i used to vodka as an excuse to eat/ drink

i am going to go shopping later and start 790 tomorrow i think :) it might be for the best, so i will ring my cdc later

i jus feel soooo down n i alays use food, and i know i have to stop this but its sooooo hard :(

i know this diet works i jus wish my head did too lol

xxx
 
#10
keep going

Hi stacey
read quite a few of your threads and always thought what a lovely girl you are. Please put this behind you and get back on track. you have done so well as others have said draw a line and get back on track whatever is best for you. Don`t shut yourself away hun.keep posting u know the amount of support that is on here for you. :grouphugg:
 

arcticmonkeys

Silver Member
S: 14st4lb C: 14st4lb G: 10st0lb BMI: 32.3 Loss: 0st0lb(0%)
#11
You can do it! I reckon 790 will help you sooo much getting back into the swing of things.

:) :) x
 

stacey

i love minimins me :)
#12
thanks :D

i was tellin my cdc theother day i wud love it if she wud lock me in her cd room for 3 months n i cud only have my packs n water hahhah sumhow she didnt seem to keen lol

i will ring my cdc for a chat she is lovely n i get on with her fab so hopefully she can help me sort my messed up head out hahaa

xxx
 
#13
Stacey
You have been incredibly supportive in the past to loads of us on here, now be supported back!
Don't knock yourself out over it, just put it down to experience and move on! If you need to chat you know where I am hun XXXXX
Sending you lots of :grouphugg: hun XXXX
 

Judy

Full Member
#14
stacey, i can actually relate to how u feel, i posted a thread 'having a bad week'
and it really has been the hardest for me, i think it started when i went out for a meal for my daughters birthday. I have struggled staying on track since then. The day seems fine then come t-time i loose the plot. And i have been so upset about it coz i know if i have gained tomorrow i will be so upset even though its me putting the food in my mouth.
we can do this we might have the odd blip but we are only human hun and its hard when everywhere u turn there s nice foods and u seem to smell them more in the summer.
Just think when we are at goal we can celebrate and have a lovely meal and get drunk without felling guilty.

xx
 
#15
Good to hear you're feeling a bit more smiley now Stacey :) nobody's perfect so don't be beating yourself up - we all have down times. You've a lovely personality, it shines through in your posts, so be nice to yourself and do what's best for you - whatever you decide to do next, good luck with it :D
 

stacey

i love minimins me :)
#16
aww thanks everyone i love u all :D

i do have a rather smiley personality hhahah as a customer told me on the phone yesterday at work lol

i know on thi diet ya can still have a life, but i honestly think maybe i shouldnt, i should maybe stop going out and seeing my friends etc until i am steadliy on this diet, just a shame that its sooo sunny and i have no other commitments

i know i can and have to do this, and i will :D

xxx
 
#17
i know i can and have to do this, and i will :D

xxx
That's more like it !! you CAN so do this Stacey....we're all behind ya :)

love

Debz
xx
 

IreneH

Gold Member
#18
Most of us have experienced what you have in the last few days. And I agree that the best thing is to forget about what has happened too late to do anything about it apart from get more and more upset. And think one day at a time and congratulate yourself at the end of each day if the day has been successful - well that's what I try and do.
Big ((((hugs))))
Irene xx
 
S: 10st12lb C: 10st12lb G: 10st0lb Loss: 0st0lb(0%)
#19
You have been doing brilliantly, dont let a minor blip get you down. Had I been in the same situation I dont think I would have been any different at all. As I think as some of the others have said maybe 790 might be better for you, Ive been doing a rough version of it myself and most of the time Im feeling ok (apart from the craving toast and butter and pizza)
 
#20
Aww Stacey don't you dare beat yourself up about it. I have been there and done that.
You are one of my Favs on here. Youre very sweet and so so beautiful. Don't worry because we are all here for you. xxxx
 


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