Hi fat and fed up,
I too felt sad when I read your post as it could have been me writing it and I know exactly how you feel as I too am morbidly obese and just like you I am only 5 ft 1in in height too which makes being obese feel even worse for we titches.
When I decided a few weeks ago that I had enough of beeing fat and miserable I weighed 24 st 4lb at that time and I knew if I didn't do something drastic my future and my health wERE in serious jeopardy and so I knew I had to make some definite changes to my life. I am delighted to report that approx 10 weeks later I am now around 22st 3lb so have lost 2 stone 1lb in this time and I am not 'dieting' at all! Basically, I have just changed to eating far healthier options and alternatives with absolutely no weighing or measuring of food either. However, the thing I am most proud of and this I will confess has been a difficult one for me, is I have totally cut out drinking my nightly tipple of 2 -3 glasses of wine altogether and now, I just have 2 glasses of Merlot on a Saturday night as my weekend treat! Another thing I have done, is to put my bathroom scales out of harms way as getting on them everyday can have a detrimental effect on me if my weightloss is not as high as I had hoped it was, so sooner than risk going off the rails I got my hubby to put them where I cannot reach them and now get weighed at Boots the chemist no more than once a week!
I like you, have tried all the diets and fads but each time I have failed miserably and I end up putting any weight I have lost all back on again plus more besides - so obviously like with you, these 'diets' never worked long term and I always got so fed up with them in the end.
I am not suggesting you do what I am doing as I am sure my way isn't right for everyone but for myself personally I have found it has improved my love/hate relationship with food 100% and by doing it my way, I have discovered it has taken all the guilt out of what I eat. I no longer make the mistakes of my past by having any 'forbidden' foods on my list and if I fancy a little piece of chocolate, I will have for example have a little fun size bar, this I will eat without any guilty conscience whatsoever, which is so diferent to how I would felt about having something like that in the past and in the past, I would have probably felt consumed with guilt and then gone on to have a mad and crazy eating binge! My new attitude means I feel so much more in control now which has resulted in my whole relationship with food becoming so much healthier and happier than it has ever been before and my weight as a result is coming off nicely.
Once you are motivated (and it sounds like you are) try to find an eating plan that leaves you feeling it is something you can stick to for the rest of your life and remember you are not in a race and it took a long time to get so large so if it takes a while to reduce your weight, then that's no big deal and each pound off is a pound in the right direction. If some weeks you stay the same or even gain a pound or two, please don't see yourself as a big failure as you certainly are not that and being only human means that sometimes we may give in to temptation but providing we just shrug it off and get back on track again, then that's the main thing and whatever weight you have put on can soon be lost again!
Good luck and just by talking to like minded people on here will be an enormous help to you I'm sure, not to mention inspirational too so let today be the first step of your journey?
All the best
Sue x