yvonne85
need to be old goofy me
In the past i've stuggled with binge eating... to the extent that i think i developed the disorder. For the past two weeks i've been doing fine, i actually felt like my life wasn't dominated by food/dieting for once. I felt in control.
But today the urges to binge caught up with me... and i lost control. I just don't know what to do anymore.
It's a long story, but maybe regurgating it all here with help in some way, shape, or form.
Two years ago, i joined WW for the first time, it was my first proper diet. I joined in September 06 weighing 11st 10lbs... by May 07 i'd dropped to 7st 0lbs. I was obsessed with it, i was determined, i NEVER once went over my points, and more often than not, i saved points thinking i'd lose the weight faster. The old wives tale about how you have to eat all your points to lose weight is nonsense. It does work... but it screwed me up in the head. I seriously wouldn't recommend it.
Anyway, to cut a long story short, i somehow developed severe binge eating when i had a week away. I had NO CONTROL over the food i ate... and something snapped in my head, and all the willpower, focus and determination that i previous had, vanished.
I thought that once i was back home again, i would be able to regain control... but i was wrong. When it rears its head, i become like a robot, fixated on getting my next high on food. I eat in a frenzy, not stopping until i'm physically about to burst. This used to happen every single day. There doesn't seem to be anything i can do to stop it happening... i try reasoning with myself, telling myself its not worth it, when i can feel the urges creeping up on me. While its happening, I don't enjoy the food, its eaten that fast that i barely taste it. I don't know how to describe it other than while its happening i'm just going through the motions, i feel as if my eyes glaze over, and my brain & all rational sense leave my body.
Around this time last year, i was 7st & exactly one year on i'm 12st odd... doesn't even sound humanly possible to put on that much weight in such a short space of time.
In the meantime, i've tried everything to regain control. First off, i tried going it alone... keeping a food journal, and weighing myself weekly. I lasted a week & a bit. Then lost control. After that i tried CD, thinking that maybe keeping away from proper food altogether would solve the problem... i lasted 1 day short of 6 weeks, for a while i thought i was back in control, then binge eating made a reappearance with avengance. Then i went back to WW, and stuck to it properly [no cutting corners and saving points] and i lasted just over 2 weeks, until earlier this evening.
I don't know what to do anymore. I don't particularly want to see the doc, because i don't see what they could possibly do. At the end of the day, its all psychological... they can't just prescribe me a pill and it will magically go away. I don't know how to get my control back. The light at the end of the tunnel has went out... how do i put it back on & reach the end? Is there an end? Or, as i fear, am i screwed up for life...
But today the urges to binge caught up with me... and i lost control. I just don't know what to do anymore.
It's a long story, but maybe regurgating it all here with help in some way, shape, or form.
Two years ago, i joined WW for the first time, it was my first proper diet. I joined in September 06 weighing 11st 10lbs... by May 07 i'd dropped to 7st 0lbs. I was obsessed with it, i was determined, i NEVER once went over my points, and more often than not, i saved points thinking i'd lose the weight faster. The old wives tale about how you have to eat all your points to lose weight is nonsense. It does work... but it screwed me up in the head. I seriously wouldn't recommend it.
Anyway, to cut a long story short, i somehow developed severe binge eating when i had a week away. I had NO CONTROL over the food i ate... and something snapped in my head, and all the willpower, focus and determination that i previous had, vanished.
I thought that once i was back home again, i would be able to regain control... but i was wrong. When it rears its head, i become like a robot, fixated on getting my next high on food. I eat in a frenzy, not stopping until i'm physically about to burst. This used to happen every single day. There doesn't seem to be anything i can do to stop it happening... i try reasoning with myself, telling myself its not worth it, when i can feel the urges creeping up on me. While its happening, I don't enjoy the food, its eaten that fast that i barely taste it. I don't know how to describe it other than while its happening i'm just going through the motions, i feel as if my eyes glaze over, and my brain & all rational sense leave my body.
Around this time last year, i was 7st & exactly one year on i'm 12st odd... doesn't even sound humanly possible to put on that much weight in such a short space of time.
In the meantime, i've tried everything to regain control. First off, i tried going it alone... keeping a food journal, and weighing myself weekly. I lasted a week & a bit. Then lost control. After that i tried CD, thinking that maybe keeping away from proper food altogether would solve the problem... i lasted 1 day short of 6 weeks, for a while i thought i was back in control, then binge eating made a reappearance with avengance. Then i went back to WW, and stuck to it properly [no cutting corners and saving points] and i lasted just over 2 weeks, until earlier this evening.
I don't know what to do anymore. I don't particularly want to see the doc, because i don't see what they could possibly do. At the end of the day, its all psychological... they can't just prescribe me a pill and it will magically go away. I don't know how to get my control back. The light at the end of the tunnel has went out... how do i put it back on & reach the end? Is there an end? Or, as i fear, am i screwed up for life...