I'm am so sorry :(

Discussion in 'Exante' started by strugglingtobeperfect, 22 June 2011 Social URL.

  1. strugglingtobeperfect

    strugglingtobeperfect Full Member

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    I haven’t been online for a while.. ive been too ashamed and felt bad for letting my self and you guys down.. I felt like a big let down… L

    I have a few issues going on with my “pending” marriage.. my in laws suddently don’t think im good enough for their son. Its all down to the Indian caste system. Its pretty pathetic reali.

    Anyway I felt angry and empty. What did I do to combat those feelings? I ate.. and ate and ATE.! To be honest I didn’t have as much as I would have done before the diet. I felt fuller quicker and couldn’t bring myself to eat anymore. Its no excuse and nothing to be proud of though.

    So I had a Sunday re-start.. and its going well again.. but I still feel awful for doing it in the first place. Its like I don’t deserve to lose weight and be happy.

    Im not in the bestest of places at the moment.

    I do want to lose weight and I do want to be happy. But im in 2 minds about everything.. I just feel as though im arguing with myself one minute im reali determined and the next someone has ground me down and I turn to food.

    How can I help myself guys? I just need to make myself posative again!
     
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  3. Emma1904

    Emma1904 Working on it

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    Well done on getting back into it, I am so sorry about your problems, I hope that things work out for you xxx
     
  4. ShedMasterZero

    ShedMasterZero was DeepThought

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    You have no reason to be sorry, you have not let any of us down. It sounds like a very difficult and extremely emotional situation to be in, so don't be so hard on yourself. I think all of us would have done exactly the same.

    The positive thing is that you are back on Exante, which has no doubt been very difficult for you to have even thought about. All I can really say is take it one day at a time and try not to let things get you down too much. I know it's easy to say that, but if you can get through this then you will feel much better on the other side.
     
  5. Divalicious

    Divalicious Silver Member

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    All I can say is well done for the restart :)! It can not be easy having to deal with all of that and also doing the diet. Whats important is that you have found the strength to tell us here and we are all sending you hugs. When you have the urge to eat just remember that food wont love you back... You doing the diet is love, loving yourself to have good health. x
     
  6. Lumpy1

    Lumpy1 Full Member

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    Don't let narrow minds get to you. Do this for you.

    I think the fact that you have "gotten back on the horse" shows a great determination and strength. Well done.

    Lumpy
    xxx
     
  7. losingit

    losingit Silver Member

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    I think you should be really proud of yourself for getting up and starting again after a bad time. That is no easy feat when you are going through the negative emotions and experiences that you are right now, so you should be proud of yourself for doing that.

    I really feel for what you are going through with your in laws. I haven't been in exactly the same position, but i have been in relationships with people of a different race to me which my family (and theirs) strongly disapproved of and felt my partner wasn't 'good enough'. But well, they did come around eventually and although i'm no longer with my ex, i have a beautiful 3 year old little girl who is accepted and loved by my family now, so people's attitudes can change- it's not necessarily as awful as it first appears and things often have a way of working themselves out given time.

    As far as the dieting goes, don't beat yourself up over it. You are back on track now and the past is gone. You are doing great, and losing weight even as i type this that fat is melting right now - so smile cos the gorgeous new you is emerging. The most important thing i have learnt is not to always force myself to be 100% all the time and feel terrible when i'm not, but to make sure that when you do fall down you get up and on track again as fast as possible without delay. In time your control will become better and you will learn new ways of coping with stressful situations, but you need to sit down and determine how to do this at a time when you are not so stressed out that you can't think clearly. For me, whenever i get super stressed/depressed i always get in my car and drive to McDonalds drive through and then sit and stuff my face on chips and burgers. My new plan of action is to get in my car and go for a long drive and/or a walk in the park. Maybe think of ways that you can handle it in the future if things get unbearably bad and you find yourself thinking of food as the way out? plan it out.

    Finally, remember that you can do this. You have come so far already and the journey isn't over yet. You are a special person, and are worthy of a nice new slim figure, and you care enough about yourself to make yourself into the best person you can possibly be. You really can do this!
     
  8. valentine

    valentine miss yo yo

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    hey hun...you have nothing to be ashamed of at all ya loon...your back in the Exante zone so just draw a line under the past and dont dwell on it....I dont think there is a single person on this site that hasnt fallen off the diet wagon..We are all in the same boat so chin up sweetie and good luck for the rest of the week .

    As for ya inlaws...F*** em cos its their son you are marrying not them. xxx
     
  9. strugglingtobeperfect

    strugglingtobeperfect Full Member

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    :) ive been thats stressed recently - i nearly gave up! im glad i didnt though.. my month is nearly over and ive only lost 7 pounds due to all this heavy eating :(

    so next month is going to be the real deal!

    im just tryin to get over it an focus and what i want!

    its been hard doing this diet again after eating so much - ive been drinming bouillion to trick myself into thinking i have eaten!

    is there a limit on how much bouillion you can have? x
     
  10. losingit

    losingit Silver Member

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    Just watch out for the salt in the bouillon. I don't know how much the reduced salt one has, but the original one is loaded with salt (which can cause water retention amongst other things, which can be soul destroying when you step on the scales)... i imagine even the reduced salt one still has a reasonable amount in. If you have the low salt one i'd try not to have more than 3 or 4 cups a day. It also contains some carbs, although not much and unlikely to effect ketosis unless you had 6-8 cups or more.
     
  11. namaste

    namaste Silver Member

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    Welcome back......... it doesn't matter how many times you fall off the wagon as long as you just get back on it again asap! I think you should change your name to 'struggling to be good enough' cos you know what, none of us is perfect (whatever that is) We can only be the best 'us' we can be and that's for us to decide, no-one else .... good luck :) x
     
  12. Pingu6

    Pingu6 Gold Member

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    I'm Indian too hun and inso understand the whole caste crap, these people will never change, centuries of brain washing unfortunately, as long as your oh loves you, ur doing great, don't give up!
     
  13. geordiebear

    geordiebear Full Member

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    Hey, you're amongst friends and we've all been there in one way or another or we wouldn't be on a vlcd in the first place! Keep your chin up and your glass half full (with water of course!!) and remember we are all here to help you through. Good luck xx
     
  14. Blue Butterfly

    Blue Butterfly Gold Member

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    Well done on restarting. You've nothing to be ashamed of we've all fallen off the wagon at some point the important thing is that we get back on and dont give up completely.

    I'm restarted this dozens of times but I'm trying really hard and I'll get there eventually! And so will you :D

    You can do this x
     
  15. kay80

    kay80 Full Member

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    Good luck hun!
    Im asian (bangladeshi) so do understand where ur coming from. Its similar in our culture 2.
    Just remember u cant pls evry1 so u might aswell pls urslf! Do this 4 u & no one else! Things will gt better... & if it dont show them wht they will miss out on once u hve lost all that weight & look phat (pretty hot and tempting) in gorgeous saris & lenghas!!
    :)
     
  16. Bobbi

    Bobbi Silver Member

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    I cant say I understand I the Indian caste system because it isnt my culture. I do understand that inlaws (outlaws) can be very critical as my husbands parents have disowned him and I because I was not good enough for him. I worked, had my own house and car when I met him yet they were so afraid that I would take all his money and its not like he was rich or anything. here we are many many years on with a squad of children. just shows you can overcome.

    As for falling off the wagon - well you just pick yourself up and get back on again.

    As I see it - when you are learning to drive you might not pass your test first time ..... you just do it again until you get things right.
    Same as in anything you do - if you dont succeed first or second time then just try again until you do.

    Dont lose that dream.
     
  17. justgina

    justgina taking it 1 day at a time

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    Well done for climbing back on the wagon despite your problems. Hope things get easier for you.
     
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  19. txgardenia

    txgardenia Full Member

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    You are not letting anyone down. You are actually helping people here by coming in and admitting to your struggles. If everyone here were always 100% perfect and no one ever fell off the wagon and shared it with the forum, there wouldn't be any point to the forum because everyone would be too afraid to post and share their imperfections. None of us would even be on this diet if we were known for being perfect all the time. Ha!!

    I am so sorry about your problems with your future in laws. I have a few friends who actually cut ties with their family over similar situations. I hope it gets resolved.
     
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