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I'm dreading .....

Bobbi

Silver Member
#1
I am sorry I keep posting these threads this week - I think the TS is messing with me.

Does anyone else feel this way ... It's my birthday in less than two weeks and to be honest I wish it wasn't. Why does every social event involve food? I am going to have to chose what food we have and I can't :(. I feel like I'm letting everyone down. I also know I have to do this and eating a piece of grilled chicken and lettuce just won't wash - and what about my cake. It's my 40th btw.

I've survived 3 birthdays and my wedding anni in the past month. Survived? Is that what you call it - I ate for each and felt real bad about it.

I still have my birthday and the last three kids birthdays plus my nephew's birthday plus a two week holiday and I'm just ready to crack up. I so want to lose weight - I just do <insert image of me stamping feet here>. Why is it all mind bending stuff?

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#3
Bobbi said:
By the way - I'm not giving up, I'm just moaning.

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Lol glad to hear it :)
I have a few things that I have to go to too, not looking forward to it :(
 
#4
You have my sympathies, you're right every celebration does involve food and it's really hard. I think all you can do is do your best and jump back on the horse straight after.

It was my 50th a few weeks ago and we went for a big meal which I thoroughly enjoyed (also the wine:D). I did put weight on that week but lost that and more the following.

Good luck with it
 
#5
awhh i know how you feel bobbi. it hurts to feel like you're putting yourself through so much and missing out on things that other people can enjoy with no worries.
you've done amazingly well so far. a treat every now and then isn't the end of the world - you deserve it for all your hard work. i'm sure it won't really affect your weightloss if you get right back to ts afterwards :)

good luck and hope you feel better x
 
#6
hey i am the same , doing really well but have my parents joint 145th birthday on saturday then our 1st wedding anniversary on sunday .. still not decided what to do about either .. hubby wants to go for a meal on sunday and the party will be a big BBQ and lots of cake .... the one thing I do say is - think long and hard about what you want to do , you have 2 options - dont eat , stick to the diet , OR - eat and enjoy it . I think the worst thing you can do is be undecided .. eat a bit , which you dont enjoy , and then feel really bad about it !! If I decide to eat i will enjoy it and not feel guilty or bad , it will be my decision , which I will make before the event , and not controlled by food .
Hope you have a great time whatever you decide
 

Gemma79

I will do this!
#7
You have my sympathies! All I can say is last year when doing LL I managed my 30th birthday, including a surprise trip to Paris and christmas without eating anything. This time around I've decided to eat a few times and it's made the journey and head stuff so much harder! Good luck with whatever you decide, but remember, there will be more birthdays, more opportunities to join in when you are happier with yourself and weight, good luck x
 
#8
Do you think you can go without eating on these occasions? I find that it's so hard to start TS again if I eat.

As for letting people down-- guess what, they will deal with it. If you not eating a piece of cake affects their life that badly, maybe they need some therapy. ;) The truth is, they may be puzzled and they may hassle you. But what you eat doesn't affect them. It truly doesn't. You must get that out of your mind. What you eat is no one's business but your own. If you decided you were only eating purple food for the next 5 months, and insisted on colouring all your food with purple dye before eating, what do you think would happen then? You would get hassled, laughed at, scolded, and... life would go on. Please don't let misplaced guilt rob you of this wonderful thing you are doing for yourself.

We must all learn to take care of ourselves and puts our needs first in this area, rather than letting others push us around. We must not let others pressure us into putting their comfort levels before our own. Your comfort in gaining the health and body that you want, is more important than their comfort in seeing you eating in the familiar way they have always seen.

They will get over it. There is a wonderful word that I have only recently learned to use.

NO.

It requires no further explanation after the initial one. I have this argument with my partner almost daily. No, i do not want a takeaway. No, I will not have one of what you're having. No, stop hassling me. NO. I SAID NO. Yes, I have yelled it before. I am standing up for myself no matter what it takes!

If you decide to eat on the holidays, decide beforehand exactly what you want to eat, and choose to be in control rather than being pushed around. If you are allowing yourself a small meal and a piece of cake, have it, enjoy the heck out of it and then practice saying the magic word NO for the rest of the night. It is a beautiful thing! :family2:

p.s. Happy birthday!! Here's to reaching your goal :D
 
#9
Hey Bobbi
I know exactly how you feel, its my birthday soon as well but I start my AAM week a few days after so have decided to be TS on my actual birthday but then have a low-carb celebration at the weekend. A really helpful book (that I constantly bang on about ;)) is the Beck Diet Solution, it has bits in about what to do about celebrations... basically its easy to have 1-2 celebrations a week for one thing or another all year round, so deciding how to deal with them is something that we'll need to do for life rather than just while on Exante! The book suggests deciding on your limit (such as 25% extra food at a celebration) and then sticking to it - of course for us this would mean 4 shakes instead of 3 which isn't much of a celebration! For me I've decided pretty much that celebrations can be WS days instead of TS days - I'm finding that after a few weeks on Exante that actually a grilled chicken breast (with the skin, I'm still human after all!) and roasted veg is pretty scrummy and totally does feel like a treat! Also I can eat it and feel good about it as I know that I'm still in control :)
Good luck whatever you decide to do... definitely agree with determinator that you should decide what will feel OK to you and stick with it - after all, if you're going to eat you might as well thoroughly enjoy it!
LED x
 
#10
hi, I know how you feel as even though im just starting today, i've got as big family meal on the 20th. I've decided to enjoy myself that evening eat a meal as going to restaurant but healthy - fish or steak nothing pasta based and drinks wise have a couple of vodka and diet cokes. I will exercise in the day beforehand.
 
#12
well all i can say is i had a day off when i was ding this bk in may and my day off lasted till 6 days ago this is the 4th time ive tried to get bk on track and ive put on the 2 stone i lose and i felt awful i now have my daughter bday coming up so have pinch a menu lol from the brewster bear pub were going to so i can pick a low carb meal so i wont just be sat there i can enjoy the one meal and still be on my diet chicken steak or fish salad no sauces or bread :( but still you can enjoy it all the stuff i cant eat ill push on to hubbys plate lol but either way its up to you and good luck
 
#13
Yeah it's hard and one break does lead to another and another ...... I agree decide beforehand and stick to it and broccoli sure is yummy after a month of exante .....,,,
 

Bobbi

Silver Member
#14
You all are so wonderful. I feel miles better now everyone feels the same way and I'm not just a paranoid person taking weight loss seriously.

I'm just ignoring it for the time being and sort of got in my mind that we will do Chinese food. I'll eat aromatic duck, and although it's not strictly allowed but there's not millions of rice with it. It usually comes with cucumber and I can shred up lettuce. I think once you take time to consider these events there's usually a solution

Funny thing is I was less worried about my ALl inclusive holiday as they are buffet style foods. Cooked meaty breckies are not so bad lol.

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