Im going to lose 10 stone

Lol, oh my just checking up on you're post and Im sorry I called you a girl...I feel bad now....):

U'R doing really well on you're weight loss journey...
 
Hey everyone thanks for your comments it's really nice reading them.

Where I'm at

Today is my weekly weigh in and also the day I update my diary here, it's become kind of a focal point of the week for me to be honest. I had a couple of days off at the weekend but was good throughout the week, Monday and Tuesday I was also very good as I knew I had my weigh in on Wednesday so it does seem to have a bit of a positive effect on me weighing myself at the same time every week.

Presence... some of you may remember from my last post I've been trying to sort my life out a bit lately. This has led me to start reading Eckharte Tolle again - his book 'the power of now' was something I first read about ten years ago and I remember it had a really powerful effect on me then and it's doing likewise now. I've been trying hard this week to remain present. I really what to break free of my conditioned actions and thinking and be more present. I have the power to do that now. I've always had it but I just haven't used it. Tolle tells the story of a beggar sitting on a chest full of coins, asking strangers for money, they walk by not giving much until one passer by tells the beggar that he doesn't have any money but he can show him treasure. The beggar is intrigued and listens intently - the passer by tells the beggar to stand up and turn the chest over. The beggar can't believe it when he realises he was sitting on a chest of gold all along. :greenapple:

It's a good metaphor and I really believe that most of us are like that, I know I was! Perfect peace is within our reach if we are able to fully embrace the present moment. I'm finding it difficult to fully embrace this truth but I'm getting there.

At the weekend for instance on saturday I drank alcohol... I drank quite alot I then went out and drank more with a friend who had maybe 2 drinks at the most. This is me living my old life, it's the conditioning - the belief that drinking alcohol will bring me happiness (which it does for short periods of time) - but it also sucks out my intelligence. It brings happiness because it dulls the brain. I think it's a little like someone that isn't happy with the colour of his window so he smashes the window. Kind of defeats the point. So what I'm looking for in this whole idea of being present is a similar peaceful and content effect in each moment that the alcohol provides but without the alcohol... sure we'd all like that right? Well I'm believing more and more that it's within my reach if I can continue trying to be present. Well not trying to be, but just being present.

What do I mean by 'being present' - as I've been so absorbed in the writing, videos and audiobooks of being present lately - I forget that it might not be obvious what being present is to someone that isn't spending half their day thinking about it! haha

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It's accepting every moment as it is, because that is all there is and 'wanting' something else is insanity.. It just is, what is the point in wanting something else? It's about seeing everything as it is, and not labelling things with words or concepts, which are never really anything like the reality of the present moment, but just generalisations. It's about realising that you have everything you need right now, absolutely everything - and that each moment is perfect (unless there is some extreme situation like your life is being threatened for example). It's about realising there is no past of future, except as forms in your mind, that all there ever is, is the present moment, is now. It's about not letting the ever changing physical or conceptual world effect how we feel. It's about connecting with our inner being. Some of those things sound quite far out, but the more you get into this stuff the more you realise it makes perfect sense...
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The reason I mentioned drinking saturday was that I'm trying to let you know the kind of dichotomy I've got in my life at the moment with my diet and to be honest my whole life in general. I'm either very good or very bad, and very occasionally in between but it seems to be one or the other. So for instance having drank soo much on Saturday on Sunday I decided I needed to be present... I got up and went for a walk I didn't know where I was going I was just walking - it felt good and I was trying to enjoy the present moment... (stay with me ;p ) - I ended up on a bus, in a nearby town... then I got on a tram and ended up in another town... I walked into the train station and just enjoyed watching people toing and froing for about 20 minutes (weird a? haha) - I then went and had a coffee... then ended up in a pub - it was a great venue... I just had a diet coke and was in there for about an hour and a half sitting in a leather chair relaxing - so I was following the present moment and it lead me to a leather chair about 10 miles from my house. On the way home a friend called who was going to a comedy show with some people from his work - it was about 7pm when he called and the show started at 8pm, at first I said I didn't fancy it (I had just got off the bus near my house) and it was about 12 miles away... in the end I decided to go 'embracing the moment' I said I wasn't going to drink. Had a good night but also had 2 pints of lager - they were bought for me after me insisting that I didn't want any alcohol... but that's all I had.

The strange thing is the day just kind of unfolded it went well and there was no planning involved. Just taking each moment, moment by moment. It's something I'm trying to do more often.

My goal going forward is to remove the completely bad days out (not just in terms of my diet, but bad life choices in general e.g. drinking) and become more and more present every day so I can just enjoy each day without drinking, and without acting in ways that are incongruent with who I really want to be.

I'm aware that this is sounding more and more like an interview with a psychiatrist lol but I just want to give you a true insight into my life in this diary - if you want me to stick to the diet just say :p

Yesterday night I stayed in the train station drinking a coffee just absorbing the environment watching people come and go - for about an hour on my way home. I reached a state of complete calm - it's strange for me as I'm so used to thinking... I mean I think most of us are, just incessent thinking without realising it. In the past I've tried to calm my thinking and 'be still' - but I'm noticing that I'm being able to sustain these periods of 'no thought' for much longer times - (about 5 minutes at a time now) instead of 30 seconds. When I got in I just felt so at ease, nothing bothered me. I spoke to some people in my house who had some things they were complaining about, usually these would bring me down a bit, but I just didn't react internally to the negativity - It felt good.

So I'm starting to reach a point where I can just be, and not react to every form, or piece of content that comes into my mind. Today was a bit of an exception as we had a meeting at work, I found myself getting irritated by something someone was saying, I reacted a little - I could feel I was reacting - it wasn't an outburst or anything like that, but i could feel what I was saying was charged with the negative reaction I had to what was being said. So I still have some ways to go but I'm getting there....

I'm starting to feel being present and enjoying a peaceful content life, might be within my reach and that feels really great I can tell you, I just need to persevere with it, I hope I will get to the stage where I can wake up every day, go through the day completely at ease with everything, not reacting but responding to situations as they arise. I have a ways to go but am getting there.... and it feels great! :)

The diet

The diet's going fantastically well, as I said above I had a day off at the weekend - but on the whole apart from that I've been good. Today I weighed myself and I lost 4ibs - I feel good about this, but surprisingly not as good as I think I should. I mean it's a great week for me but I think I'm at one of those stages where the sheer amount I have to lose is at the front of my mind. Week in week out I can lose weight, and it will still take months and months and months and maybe even years to get down to a normal size:faint2:... I just need to get used to this idea! It's not an overnight thing. :D

Tonight I'm going to play pool with my friend I'm going to drink diet soft drinks and use the night as a practice in being present. I'm going to enjoy it win or lose (I'm a bad loser! haha, so this will be a test) - and just be happy to be alive, on a journey, a journey to enjoy every moment as it unfolds :) who knows in a year or so I may have lost enough weight to walk into any shop and buy whatever clothes I want... but in the meantime... I'm going to enjoy the journey :)
 
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4 pounds is amazing! well done on that :) I know exactly what you mean though about the end weight goal always being at the front of your mind. I feel exactly the same. I'm like woo great weight loss this week but I still have *** pounds to go etc. It's hard to accept each week as it comes and fully come to terms that it's not an overnight thing (we all wish it was lol). Keep up the good work though hun
 
Wow, this is such a motivating post...I luv it...It's quite interesting what you said about living for now and I might actually try it and I will check for that book on amazon or somewhere...It seems interesting.

And 4pounds is amazing and you're right about the weight not coming off over night,lol...until I realised that I didnt gain the weight over night but over a period of months and years and that it will take some time to me to actually lose the weight and maintain it I just worried alot if I didn't lose alot weight but I don't mind doing it slowly.

It takes time but you're doing so good and I know you will be able to go all the way.
 
ty both :) yes I really recommend the book hope here is the amazon link: The Power of Now: A Guide to Spiritual Enlightenment: Amazon.co.uk: Eckhart Tolle: Books

Had a nice weekend, I've been continuing practicing being present and it's having some really good effects. Last thursday I just went 'wandering' after work - ended up walking about 40 minutes listening to my music and felt really good, it's strange - I felt great and couldn't think why. I think 'no thought' has a lot to do with it. I decided to go into a pub, but was trying to remain present. I had 2 pints in the whole evening, and had a great night, I was drinking the lager really slowly just enjoying the atmosphere. A group of people surrounded me at one point! I was sitting on a table on my own, with my music just sipping away, when the table to my right which was a double table filled up with a group of about 14 people... they added chairs on the end so they could fit in, and one of them moved around right next to me, she was saying something so I took my earphones out and she was just saying hi etc, told me her name and then introduced me to the whole group lol it was really strange... i told them my name spoke for a minute or so and went back to my music (which with hindsight... I don't think I should have done, but it was a strange situation not knowing any of these people from adam lol..) - when I decided to leave after my second pint, I said goodbye to them and wished them a good night... they started clapping me saying goodbye the whole pub looked around, lol it was the most odd thing that's happened to me in a while- i felt like i was on a little britain sketch or something, but it was so warm, and nice - and a great feeling i couldn't help laughing out loud on my way home. The key for me though was that I had 2 pints of lager so can remember it all in crystal detail :)

On Friday I had a work get together in another pub, I had 3 pints the whole evening - again sipping slowly. On the way home when we'd all dispersed I went into another pub, had just one pint in there... got chatting to two people who I overheard talking about a playright I like, turned out one of them was an actor... they were really friendly and again had a really good night!

Inspired by my new found ability to drink alcohol moderately I went out saturday in the day, ended up mixing with a group of people from Africa and learning alot about their experience growing up in a not very multicultural society here (back in the 60's). I came home, and went out in the evening to a pub that plays loud music on a Saturday (i like loud music sometimes!) - I had 2 pints of lager during the whole night.

Today I just rested and spent some time with my niece and nephew who came to visit and my sister.

So I seem to have overnight practically completely got over my tendency to binge drink when I go out. And I feel great for it. Having been out 3 times it will be interesting to see how the diet goes this week (I have another trip out tomorrow night so it will be 4 'outs' by the time I weigh myself on Wednesday). If I can stay the same weight this week that will be great, I have been sticking to the diet alcohol aside, apart from one day I had some chips on the way home. I will get back to 100% dedication to the diet soon maybe next week or so.

I'm convinced it has alot to do with me practicing being present the fact that I'm not getting drunk when I go out drinking anymore. It's such a nice feeling to think that after just over ten years of not being able to drink socially without going completely overboard, I may have accidently cracked it as a side effect of practicing presence! Strictly speaking I think a true spiritual person, who is 'present' shouldn't drink any alcohol.. but i'm still pretty pleased with my progress on the spiritual front.

I'm thinking of joining slimming world in about a week. I think it might just give me the motivation to get really healthy and kickstart the diet again (as you can see from the above, I haven't been as healthy as I could have been this week! and something like slimming world might add the boost to kickstart me back on a really healthy track).

But whatever happens, the 'living in the present' thing Is really coming on leaps and bounds and I'm experiencing some great effects in my life already. After my pretty naughty past few days diet wise, if I can get away staying the same Wednesday - I think I will settle for that!

Hope you're all doing well, have a good week!
 
I fell off my last diet attempt was doing very well too! New year new me. I currently weigh 20stone 6ibs. After lots of deliberation I've bit the bullet and am going for the Exante diet. My pack arrived today. Just finishing off the last shake of the day. I'm having 600 cals a day, 1soup, 1shake and 1bar. Average loss is 1stone a month. Plan is to weigh in at 10 stone by 1st December 2011. Will write updates in here now and again, this time it's for real! I think the all or nothing Exante approach is the sort of thing i needed to sort me out, that and forking out for a months supply upfront. No backing out now! :)
 
Hey, good luck. I too decided that it has to be all or nothing. I don't feel I can be trusted with food so Exante is the last option xo
 
Thanks hadl, i had a stressfull evening today (totally self inflicted) but managed to stay true to the cause. It reminded me how eating is so ingraned in my psyche - when i was stressed i wanted nothing more than to buy a nice burger king. I was coming home through town and also fancied some alcohol (i tend to when i'm stressed). Managed to buy a book instead and read it on the way home, and am finishing off my vanila shake as I type. I actually like the vanila shake - it tastes a little bit like oreio biscuit?!! Anyway... end of day 3, so I guess I should be in Ketosis now. 1 yr on this will all be worth it!
 
Hey, when I saw your starting weight I had to say hi!
Hang in there, you will do so well, even better than me on exante for sure! All it takes is a little deadication :)
Good luck x
 
Hi was Reading your diary, it was so inspiring!! Don't worry about falling off the wagon last year just start again now :)
Hope you do really well

Did you ever move out yet??

:)
 
Really good read; try having a scan over mine, starting off at similar weights - my weigh day was today, 2nd weigh day. First i lost 11lbs this week only 3lbs, but happy with the just a general loss!

Im surviving pretty much on potatoes and fruit, yoghurts and bottled water - 10km on exercise bike a day and 5/10 minutes on a Xtrainer, i try to get out and do a 1.5m circuit around my local estate but with having a little boy finding the time is hard.
 
Hey everyone thanks for taking the time to stop by, was great reading your comments. :thankyou:

Neonshock -46ibs you're an inspiration! You know you're onto something good when you can say you have lost almost 50ibs. Must be a great feeling, well done! In my head I kind of have 4stone lost as a real big goal I am aiming for as it will be about 1/3 of my entire weight loss complete.

Happy - thanks :) no believe it or not i never did move out... To be honest this month has been a real good one in terms of my managing my finances well and generally being a responsible adult. I remember reading once when you pick up a stick you pick up both ends, it's so true. You make one decision and it leads to others you might not have realised etc.. Like for instance now I am on exante, I can not eat ANY other food, so i'm not wasting money on coffee's or on snacks, fast food etc when out - which all adds up. I could have coffee on this black, but i thought for the sake of coffee i might as well just not have it then i know im on 100% exante and water. Also good for my body if i can continue with it. But yeah I mean, i've definately picked up both ends of the stick with this exante... I really wanted to go to the pub this evening (friday night) and or order some pizza... I don't usually eat pizza hugely often (maybe twice a month) but lately i've been craving junk food - i think it's my body rebelling at pure exante lol... Because I'm on exante i can't do any of that, so i'm staying senisble. Not getting drunk (which i tend to do if i go out of a weekend) - and apart from the great health / mental reward of that it means i'm saving money. I mean Once i've paid my rent and bills etc, and brought my travel card, now i have exante - i have no other money outlay on food or alcohol so it's definately helping my financial management etc. So I think before too long maybe 3-4 months I should be in a position to move out. Also hopefully well into my weight loss by then:)

Epulum - well done on losing nearly 1stone in a week that's amazing! and nice one for keeping it up into week 2. Sounds like you're really on the track to your weight loss goals. I must admit you kind of put me to shame with your excercise admission ;) - I have never consciously excercised in about 9 years... I commute to work and back each day which involves lots of walking and stairs etc - and go out most weekends... but i've never actively excercised. My plan is to wait until I'm closer to my ideal weight and then start excercising, i'm thinking maybe doing some weights or something when i get closer to my weight goals? but I guess that's a long way off at the moment! Thanks for stopping by will go and have a look at your diary tonight.

Thanks again everyone! :)

Well as i got so carried away with my replies... i'll make my update brief! I'm still on the plan which is good. It is very tough for me though, I'm approaching end of day 4 now - 10pm on friday night, and i really wanted to go to the cinema on the way home and buy hot dogs and popcorn and watch a film... lol, i can't even remember the last time i went to the cinema - my mind is conjuring up all various ideas of good things that involve eating trashy food it seems... I really wanted to go as well! Even now as I type this, upstairs i'm thinking of going downstairs and watching a movie... but my instant thought is, what can i have nice to eat - then i remember i'm on exante... I hope i get used to it soon and stop craving bad food! It put me in a bad mood when i got in from work (i think it was the unsatisfied desire to eat junk food) - so i went to bed at like 8pm... half hour later i was on pc, and playing some music and before too long i felt a bit better and out of my feeling sorry for myself mood lol~!

Reading the comments in here was a nice thing to find, they've really helped remind me how right what i'm doing is and that it's all worth it.

A funny thing has happened by the way... i'm finding myself more and more looking forward to the morning each night... just for the thought of eating the exante bar!!!! After my shake in the evening i can't eat anything else, but i know i can have the bar in the morning which i'm getting to like, so i'm actually starting to look forward to that now the night before... how sad is that!!!! haha.

Going to watch a movie now with a big glass or two of water, it's not popcorn but it'll have to do! Making it through this weekend is going to be tricky but once I've done it i'll have a relatively easy monday back at work with distractions, and then on Tuesday it's my end of week weigh in!
 
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Goodluck for this weekend :) if you can get through the weekend you'll be fine and can do anything!! Welldone for not giving into temptation!!

You'll be moved into yoir own place before you know it :)

Do u still listen to the pod casts? U still getting inspired? Goodluck yoir doing so well I don't think i could do a diet like that I would give into temptation too easily.
 
My plan is to just use my Xtrainer and Exercise bike as much as i can, at least 5mins on each a day as a abre minimum, just to work up a sweat really, go up and down the stairs 10 times, twice a day at home aswell thats better than nothing, just anything to get me out of breathe and get my heart pumping a bit quicker.

Im only doing light exercise at the minute, when i lose a bit more weigh i'll bring more exercise into it, but at the minute the weight is dropping off just by eating healthier.

There is a 5km local run in May which im going to do, never EVER thought of doing anything like that before but i should be able to manage it without dying!
 
Do u still listen to the pod casts? U still getting inspired? Goodluck yoir doing so well I don't think i could do a diet like that I would give into temptation too easily.

Def still getting inspired! Was listening to Napoleon Hill's ' laws of success' on the train today, and also brought a book on CBT (Cognitive Behavioural Therapy) a few days ago I plan to get into properly tomorrow (about 20 pgs in at the moment) :) Im always seeking out ways to improve my thinking :)

- Epulum, 5k local run sounds great!

Update

Think I've more or less conquered the weekend, managed to stay true friday night, and all of today and am about to go to bed so just have sunday to get through now.I went into town today and didn't have any exante with me and got tied up with something which meant i didn't get in until 10pm! so i couldn't eat all day =/!!

Good thing is i stayed true, i had my brkfast bar at 10am, and then when i got in at 10pm i had a shake and a soup.

Def need to remember to take a shake with me tomorrow!!
 
first weekend passed, as im about to go to bed on sunday night now. Last six days/nights I haven't eaten anything but 3 exante meal replacements a day, and I haven't drank anything except water.

Looking forward to weigh in on Tuesday hopefully it's good. I don't really feel hungry anymore, but i do still miss fried food - i'm looking forward to being my ideal weight when i can eat out once or so a week, which is the wrong way to think i guess! But main thing is im staying true to my plans to get slimmer.
 
Thanks happy, yes looking forward to weighing myself. :)

Slimming down is hard work there are no two ways about it. So much of food is about pleasurable sensation / experience, and you have to deprive yourself of that on a diet. Just got to remember the bigger the picture i guess. It's especially handly on the money front as im in and out of town alot and lots of nice temptations which i cant get any more so my money isn't leaking away.

Life does seem blander without choice of decent foods but it is also simpler, and i think from this simplicity a kind of spaciousness opens up around your life and you begin to see things a bit clearer. What do i do every day? What matters to me? What do i really need money for? Why am I putting myself through this etc.... You become more sensible about your own life situation i think when you're on a diet like this as it forces you to look at the basics of your life.

Well not really sure where that all came from! But it sums up where i'm at, at the moment. Foodwise today i had toffee bar, vegetable soup and chocolate shake i stayed out from work and didn't get in until 10.30pm but took a soup with me and had it out (got hot water from a coffee machine) - so i'm learning.

Am also loving my general 'constant' state of alertness throghout the day - i don't mean im very alert, i just mean what attention i have is constant, as oppose to when i was eating what i liked (including big fatty lunches) - and i had peaks and troughs of energies. I think this is helped also by fact this diet makes me sleep better i generally go to sleep within 20 minutes of closing eyes on pillow even at 10pm - i couldnt sleep much before 12am before! Tonight is an exception as its 2am as i was out late... So time to sign off!

gl all!
 
First week weigh in was tonight. I made sure I wore more or less the exact same clothes (give or take a different shirt) - and used the same commercial scales in the shopping centre I used last week. I then came home and weighed myself with just shorts on, on my own scales I purchased last week and cross checked these with same readings i took last week. The results are all identical and I've lost 12 Pounds in my first week (8 days) :) have updated my stats here and also changed my weight measurements to with just shorts on as i think this will be truer for comparison over time with changing clothes etc!

It's a great motivator, and I think back to the times I fancied a burger king or some alcohol last week and it's all payed off now :)

I also took some passport photo's today and compared them with ones I took about three weeks before I started the diet, I can already see my face is slimmer around the edges at the bottom in the ones I took today, and I look much better for it already so I'm noticing real changes within the first week which is so great! :)

Going to play some pool tonight, and have had my lunch late so I won't feel hungry out and will still have my shake when I get in, here's to a decent loss next week!
 
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