I'm really bad at finding titles that people will want to read! :)

[Elie]

Hello everyone!

My name's Ellie and I'm a CD restarter. First allow me to share a bit of my background with you: I did the CD diet 2 years ago and lost a LOT of weight and felt fab etc, but then I stopped it (financial reason) and it all went downhill since then. I did some halfhearted attempts afterward, but I wasn't into it at all.

Lately though, I have realised that I need to lose weight. I'm getting married and would love to look "human" , ie not a big blob of fat next to my über gorgeous and skinny fiancé

But my main motivation is my health. I had (very minor) surgery 4 months ago, and despite only needing a tiny whiff of GA, I had to go to the big city's hospital where they have an ICU, just because I was in a high risk category. You guessed already, it was because my BMI was really high I also had to do a lot of tests before surgery and everything came back clear: cholesterol, diabetes, heart pressure, etc. I was healthy and I suddenly realised that it wouldn't last. So for the past few months, I have just been eating sensibly and I lost 1.5 stones. And now, I am ready for CD again.

This time, I was really careful to put some money aside in case I couldn't afford the diet one week (this is partly what destroyed my efforts the last time, inaddition to a slice of cake ) and I am determined to be healthy. I may not have any health problems, but I am always out breath, my energy levels are so low I'm a sloth (I know I have always been lazy but boy, sometimes I could slap myself!) and maybe in the coming few years OH and I could start a little family... But needless to say that it won't happen if I stay this heavy.

So I have contacted my CDC (a new one as I have changed area) and I should see her very soon to buy my first week of shakes My medical form was signed yesterday by my lovely GP who didn't charge me for the priviledge (contrary to some GPs I have read about on here!) and I already started sorting out my clothes.

Indeed, I have clothes in all sizes, and I am a hoarder AND a spendoholic (can you see a pattern here? ) so imagine the size of my wardrobe. Last night, I divided my clothes into 3 piles: the ones I can wear (very few, and all in the wardrobe), the ones that are a tiny bit too small but should fit soon (very few again, and all in the wardrobe) and the ones that are definitely too small (I have a lot of these).

The ones that are too small come in size 18 to 14 so it should help me on my journey when I can fit in them, and save me some money too (OH will NOT let me spend money on new clothes unless absolutely necessary-I don't want to spend more money than is necessary on clothes). I have tidied the ones in the house, but I still have a few boxes full of them in the garage that I need to sort out during the evenings this week

This time around, everything should be harder as I know what's coming, but I have a great material motivator: fitting in my wedding dress I ordered it already, in a size 22 (I'm currently 24), which really is a size 20 in real clothes. So I don't have much choice and I hope I can achieve this. I have my mum, OH and my bridesmaid on my back nom

Anyhoo, as soon as I have my first appt I will come back here and update. I hope keeping a diary, even if no one reads it , will help me stay focus.

PS: Minimins is a life saver and should be given money by the NHS

ETA: on the morning of my appt I'll update my weight and all of that so you can see how fat I am

 

[Chelsea Lou]

Hi Elie,

I am a restarter too, last Friday was my 1st day, so day 5 and after the rotten headaches on day 2,3 and 4 I am feeling much better, not hungry (yet) and determined to go through the plans and not do what I did last time, which was get to within 10lbs of target and basically self-sabotage. It was like a weird panic, suddenly not having a fat body to hide behind.

My 2nd daughter is getting married next year aboard the Ventura arty0011:and apart from the fact that it is a very special day, it is also probably the one and only time I get to go on a cruise. It's costing a fair bit of money and I don't want to let her down or myself down by being a fat and frumpy Mother of the Bride.

Hopefully we can all support each other along the way.

Good luck

 

[leeds123]

aw good luck and wishing you well lady!

 

[JessicaPink]

Hi Elie,

You can definitely do this and you sound very determined

When is your wedding? I bet your so excited! I know I would be . I'm sure you will feel like an absolute princess

Looking forward to seeing how you get on - and remember you CAN do this!!

Love Jess xxxxx

 

[Elie]

Thank you ladies, you're lovely

I just want to rant a little now, if you don't mind... I take back what I said about my GP: I just got an invoice asking me to pay £10 for the signature

Now don't get me wrong, we should all contribute to the NHS, but I find this practice of asking a fee for a signature ridiculous, especially when you know that they don't even take the time to check the form! How can they justify a £10 fee?

And don't they realise that £10 for some people is a huge sum of money? Yes I know, it's nothing when compared to the cost of CD, but I had to save really hard to afford this diet. And because we live on one salary at the moment and because my student job only pays for a third of my diet every week, we are living on pennies. So £10 is a LOT of money.

I will pay the £10 of course, I'll use a bit of my savings, but I am fuming! Especially because no mention was made of this fee when I saw my GP

Sometimes things like this make me want to cry Not because of the money but because of the principle. I used to be a spendoholic when I had more money, and I worked really hard to correct that and stay away from debt. And now that our situation has changed, it means that life is really hard sometimes after we've paid all the bills and the rent. And £10, well, it may seem nothing to some people, but for us at least, this could be used elsewhere.

My rant is over now. I hope I haven't offended anyone. Please, don't think I take the NHS for granted, on the contrary, it is just that I don't see how one can justify this £10 fee, especially because it would cost society much more if I went to see a nutritionist or a nurse at a weight clinic every week or month. And I have seen people having to pay £20/30/40 here as well

 

[Tessieg1]

Hi and welcome to these boards. I find the people on here extremely supportive and friendly.

I don't think your post would've offended anyone. It's your diary at the end of the day and that's what it's there for - for your good days and bad.
Anyway, good luck with your restart.

 

[Elie]

Hi and welcome to these boards. I find the people on here extremely supportive and friendly.

I don't think your post would've offended anyone. It's your diary at the end of the day and that's what it's there for - for your good days and bad.
Anyway, good luck with your restart.

I know I should be free to say what I want in my diary, but sometimes I get all annoyed and angry and I don't take the time to think about what I say

Thank God, my angers are usually very short-lived

 

[Elie]

Because every journey has to start somewhere...

Day 1 on CD finally arrived and as of today, I am now SSing. I had my appointment in the middle of the afternoon and I managed not to eat till then so that I could start today and use Fridays as my WI days: that is what I call determination

My CDC is a lovely woman and I believe we are going to get on just fine, as long as she doesn't mind my talking all the time! As I said to her, I either eat or chat, and since I can't eat anymore...

I had my soup when I came back and then cleaned the house. I am on a mission to keep the house clean and de-clutter it as well. I started sorting my clothes this week. I asked OH to bring all my clothes from the garage and divided them according to size and type of clothes (tops/bottoms). They are all neatly folded in plastic bags, with labels, and neatly stacked in my closet I think I could open a small charity shop with all the clothes I have gathered! But this time, I will get rid of my clothes as soon as they're too big. I will only keep one pair of fatty jeans and one fatty top, as a "souvenir". There are some clothes though, magical ones, which will always be part of my wardrobe. No matter how much weight I gain/lose, they always fit me They are quite horrible, "butchy" clothes but they'll be perfect to wear when I'm cleaning out the animals or gardening, etc. My local charity shops will be very happy

Sorting out my clothes made me realise how much clutter I have in the garage. We can't even park our car! So the weekends to come, OH and I are going to de-clutter the garage: I may as well take advantage of being so energetic to sort out big things in the house, because it won't last! We have so much cardboard boxes, old books, old stationary and old everything from moving house last year that it has become quite ridiculous. I am a terrible hoarder, and OH is the same! So that'll have to be watched

This evening I am alone and quite bored and already I have had the "I'll make myself a snack" idea pop into my head!!!! And everytime I have to remember that I can't. it'll take me a while to change my habits, but I know I can do it.

Ideally, I'd like to lose 5inches off my waist before February/March, which is when I get married. I hope I can achieve this and more!

Off to drink some water now, and I can't wait to be next Friday!

 

[Elie]

Day 2

I am on day 2 and I think this is going OK! I was a bit afraid because my Fridays and Saturdays are quite physical, but I managed perfectly fine It was very tempting to cheat at lunchtime, when all my friends were eating their delicious sandwiches but I stuck to my diet a 100% and had a lovely choc shake.

I told all of my close friends that I am doing the diet and therefore can't eat, and they were all incredibly supportive. Admittedly, I only have 2 very close friends with whom I would share something as personal, but they were great nonetheless

I hopped on the scales this morning, and even after one day, it looks promising. But I'll have to ask OH to take the batteries because I am a terrible scales hopper and we all know this is not a good idea to weight every day. So I'll be a good girl and give that up too.

We were joking at lunchtime today, about Lent. I then said that, because I can't give up food, I'll give up housework Seriously though, I didn't stopped today. We did the big month shop using our Tesco's vouchers, and it was so much cheaper without my junk I did the cooking for all of OH's lunches next week, ready to go in the freezer. And tomorrow morning I have to make some bread and I'd like to try a new recipe. Because I can't eat any food, I really would like to cook for him, and I can tell you he's very happy! Usually I don't like cooking that much, but for some reason, being close to food is actually a relief And I can also learn all sorts of new healthy recipe when I have to maintain

The evenings are hard. I have only had 2 on the diet so far, but I am really hungry. I just need to re-ajust my habit. Before, I used to eat all evening in front of the TV. It is amazing the time I lost on food: thinking about it, buying it, "cooking" (more like opening the packet of crisps) it... I now have to rely on my hobbies! I bet my patchwork quilt will be finished in no time, as well as the pile of books I have to read and my knitting

I am being really good with my water, although I am really desperate to be Week 3 so I can flavour it! I really don't like water, and my poor body is saturated with crappy sodas. So I guess that I owe it that at least! Hopefully, I'll glowing skin and shiny hair It is a good habit to take up though, as I never drank enough water before and it showed on my skin.

I found some very simple exercises to help me becoming fitter and do some damage control with the loose skin to come. Mainly sit-ups, arms exercises and bum exercises. I can see that my belly will end up looking like I'm wearing an apron, but oh well, I can still have surgery one day, and it is better than being morbidly obese.

I also joined two challenges. You can see them in my signature Because I don't really know what to expect in terms of weightloss, I stayed on the safe side, but I wouldn't mind losing more!

My goal for this week is to stay 100% of course, but also to find an alternative to tea to drink in the evening and late afternoon. If I drink tea, I'm afraid I won't sleep properly, and I find it hard enough to sleep soundly as it is. My weight is partly responsible for it. I always have the feeling that I can't breathe properly and that my fat goes to my throat, preventing me from taking a deep breadth I don't even have a double chin, but the fat must be pressing on my chest: have you ever heard of this?

Anyhoo, off I go reading other people's diaries. It is so inspiring and makes me want to stick to it 100%

 

[Elie]

Day 3 - morning

Ugh, I feel like I need to escape or I'm going to become mad. I was so hungry during the night, and I had a terrible night. I woke up several times and just could sleep So here I am now, on a Sunday morning, having to get up because future FIL is arriving late morning

I peed on my ketostix yesterday evening, and I am already on ketosis, so I don't understand the sudden pang of hunger..... I guess I need to drink more water. I drank the required 4pints but I probably need more.

Also, OH didn't take the batteries off the scales, and yes, you guessed what I did when I woke up But I taught me a good lesson: I "only" lost 1lb and I'm all down on top of being hungry and tired My energy from the last couple of days is all gone. It is amazing what one bad night can do to you.

Add to that the fact that I couldn't drink yesterday evening because, ironically, I thought it would keep me awake So off I am buying this South African tea everyone is raving about. Rooibos I think it is. It is made of the leaf, so should be ok with the diet, and it is naturally caffein free It is also said to be good at strengthening the immune system, so it could be useful before the cold and flu season starts.

I think tonight will be an early night for me. Ok, I need to get off my behind and start preparing stuff for FIL.

 

[kopcat]

Doing well so far , though you do need to stop being so hard on yourself! You also need to cancel that wedding dress, I bet a size 20 will fit you by week 2 or 3!?!
I know you don't like it, but try upping the water....that'll help with the hunger pangs (which, very likely, considering you're in ketosis, were more psychological than real!

Stay strong I promise you it'll be worth it!

Xx

 

[Elie]

Doing well so far , though you do need to stop being so hard on yourself! You also need to cancel that wedding dress, I bet a size 20 will fit you by week 2 or 3!?!
I know you don't like it, but try upping the water....that'll help with the hunger pangs (which, very likely, considering you're in ketosis, were more psychological than real!

Stay strong I promise you it'll be worth it!

Xx

I think it may be too late to cancel my dress I ordered it beginning of August and I need to have it ready by the 1st of March. They said they could put it down 2 dress sizes (maybe 3 if they push it), so now I'm panicking

Here are my measurements for Waist/Hips/Bust: 45/55/49

And to fit in my wedding dress, I need to be: 38/49/47

If I were to go down a size 20 with this dress I'd need to be: 36/47/45

I'll have to go to the shop tomorrow and ask if I still have time to order a smaller one. But I have no idea what to expect in terms of inches Oh my, this wedding business is really stressful!

 

[Elie]

Today was a very long day! Future FIL invited us to the pub and while they were eating their delicious food, I drank my fizzy water. But the main course was ok, it was mainly meat with gravy and I'm a vegetarian and hate gravy. But the roasted potatoes, oh my... :drool: But the worst was to come........ The desserts....... But I stayed strong, and as soon as we were back home I drank my soup and a pint of water: I was very proud of myself

I'll have to go back to the library full time tomorrow and I am a bit worried because I can't prepare any shake or soup there and I forgot to order some tetras I will just have to drink drink drink I drank more than the 4 required pints today, and it helped with the weak feeling I had yesterday. I'm still hungry, but it is starting to fade, although I'm looking forward to my porridge tonight

I was a bit annoyed at FIL today. He is adamant that we have a wedding list for presents but we don't want to. We have everything we need in our flat, and anything else will have no place to go. I don't know what to do...

We have almost decided where to go on our honeymoon. Nothing fancy, but we really like the sound of Malta. I have been there already, and the temperature is really nice end of March/start of April. Plus, we both like History and cultural stuff, so I think we'll go for that. I wanted Tahiti, but apparently it's too expensive

Off to read more diaries now

 

[kopcat]

We, too, had everything we wanted for our house - so we just added a note to our invitations saying we did not expect any presents at all, but if people wanted to, they could donate a few dollars to our honeymoon fund... What about trying that? (In the end, I don't think we spent a penny of our own money, and we had a 3 week driving tour of California )

 

[Elie]

We, too, had everything we wanted for our house - so we just added a note to our invitations saying we did not expect any presents at all, but if people wanted to, they could donate a few dollars to our honeymoon fund... What about trying that? (In the end, I don't think we spent a penny of our own money, and we had a 3 week driving tour of California )

I suggested that to FIL, to put the honey moon on the list so people can donate what they want via the travel agent. But he was adamant that people would want to give us something physical we can keep. Thing is, we have everything we need that can fit in the house We have all the china we need, even a spare set for special occasions. Oh well, OH will have to take care of it! Your honey moon sounds great! The sun and the long sandy beaches......

 

[kopcat]

It WAS great

Two points...1. Our guests were happy to have it taken out of their hands, and very happy to give us what we wanted!
And 2. Whose wedding is this anyway?

 

[Surfhunny]

Hey Ellie well done for staying so strong!! I think it's pretty plain sailing on SS until the very minute you cheat. I've learned my lesson the hard way over the past year or so. I got so close target, then I met my OH and gained a bit out if contentment then last Christmas when we broke up I gained 2st albs and that was almost half what I lost the first time round!! Needless to say I was so mad at myself, I've been battling with losing that weight for a good 9 months now.

BUT I've decided I'm back on SS no cheating, I've got a big deadline too, on 23rd of Nov I go to New York and Las Vegas, and there's no way I want to be this big when I go, I've got 2st to lose in just 7 weeks but I'm determined to do it!!! I don't want to hide from the camera like I did the first time I went to New York, I want happy pics like the second time I went, I felt so different close to target!!

Good luck with your journey, I'm sure with your wedding as motivation you'll be fine!!! If you can put up with my moaning feel free to read my diary xx

 

[Elie]

It WAS great

Two points...1. Our guests were happy to have it taken out of their hands, and very happy to give us what we wanted!
And 2. Whose wedding is this anyway?

I know it's our wedding, but future FIL can be really "bossy" sometimes. If it were my own parents, I'd just say what I think, but I feel I have to be a bit more "diplomatic" with the in-laws It's OH's problem anyway

Hey Ellie well done for staying so strong!! I think it's pretty plain sailing on SS until the very minute you cheat. I've learned my lesson the hard way over the past year or so. I got so close target, then I met my OH and gained a bit out if contentment then last Christmas when we broke up I gained 2st albs and that was almost half what I lost the first time round!! Needless to say I was so mad at myself, I've been battling with losing that weight for a good 9 months now.

BUT I've decided I'm back on SS no cheating, I've got a big deadline too, on 23rd of Nov I go to New York and Las Vegas, and there's no way I want to be this big when I go, I've got 2st to lose in just 7 weeks but I'm determined to do it!!! I don't want to hide from the camera like I did the first time I went to New York, I want happy pics like the second time I went, I felt so different close to target!!

Good luck with your journey, I'm sure with your wedding as motivation you'll be fine!!! If you can put up with my moaning feel free to read my diary xx

rahhh, do you think I can fit in your suitcase? I would love to visit NY! And I understand why you want to be thinner on the piccies. I'd be the same. I don't want to be enormous on my wedding piccies either!

Will deffo go and read your diary I love diaries

 

[leeds123]

hiya! just popping in to see how you are today?

 

[Elie]

Things are great, thanks Leeds

First thing in the morning, I called the wedding dress company and, although it is too late to change my order (dress should arrive soon ) the lady told me that because of the way my dress is made, they will be able to reduce it up to 3 sizes if needed

I decided to stay and work from home today. Well, it's not professional work as I'm a full-time student, but I treat my studies as a 9-5 job. It is a huge investment for me, so I can't help but treat this degree as a professional activity. The advantage is I can set up my own timetable and I stayed at home to do the laundry as the sun -for once!- is shining. Plus, I'm still feeling a bit weak in the afternoon, so I thought it best to stay home rather than being miserable in the library

The batteries are gone from the scales, so I could hop on them this morning. I can't wait for Friday now! I'll soon eat my soup and then back to work. After that, I'd like to cook something nice to OH as he works so hard. And he's so skinny, he could do with a bit more fat on him