is it even possible (warning very long and boring post)

[LucyNewMum]

Im starting to worry that I will be fat forever. I don’t seem to have the determination to continue with as diet, and my mind set is that once a diet is over I can eat what I want again. Im getting very discouraged and failing and trying over and over is becoming disheartening.


Although people say ‘diets don’t work’, really every diet works if stuck to properly, but most people quit part way through or put that weight back on afterwards. Im just starting to realise that I could be in the same position in 10 years time; trying to will myself thin whilst eating a plate piled high with cheese on toast.


I don’t want dieting to consume my life! I don’t want to think about eating all day every day as I currently do. Although horrid, most of my spare time is spend dreaming of losing weight, and cruising the internet for the diet could change my life.


I look through weight loss threads from years ago where people say ‘this time I will do it!’ then their stats never change, or their diary just stops because they have succumbed to food and are probably still larger than they want to be years later. I don’t want my diary to be one someone looks through in years and think, oh she gave up.


I want to succeed, I want to lose weight and finally get where I want to be. My life seems to be on hold until I fix my weight, I refuse to buy new clothes, have my hair done, go out with friends etc until I lose weight. It just doesn’t seem possible, failure seems inevitable after so many attempts. Its ridiculous how something so simple can be sooo hard!


This is a very long and selfish post! I apologise; just need to vent. I don’t want to offend anyone, I know many dieters are successful, I’m just getting scared that I may not be one them. I apologise for the rant

 

[RebekahR]

I think for me , when this plan became just part of life it clicked

I wasn't constantly obsessing or trying to fill the time until the next meal

It's hard and its challenging when you've been big all your life. But making it just normal and part of normal life rather "a diet" helps

I hope this makes sense hunny and helps

I found I've had a long struggle too. I used atkins for the first few stone then s&s for 70lb so far

I've always been larger, too big, big boobs, mum had eating problems with bulimia which she projected onto me. So I understand feeling like its a long and constant "will I always be fat' battle

You can do it hunny xxx

 

[weasey]

Im starting to worry that I will be fat forever. I don’t seem to have the determination to continue with as diet, and my mind set is that once a diet is over I can eat what I want again. Im getting very discouraged and failing and trying over and over is becoming disheartening.

Although people say ‘diets don’t work’, really every diet works if stuck to properly, but most people quit part way through or put that weight back on afterwards. Im just starting to realise that I could be in the same position in 10 years time; trying to will myself thin whilst eating a plate piled high with cheese on toast.

I don’t want dieting to consume my life! I don’t want to think about eating all day every day as I currently do. Although horrid, most of my spare time is spend dreaming of losing weight, and cruising the internet for the diet could change my life.

I look through weight loss threads from years ago where people say ‘this time I will do it!’ then their stats never change, or their diary just stops because they have succumbed to food and are probably still larger than they want to be years later. I don’t want my diary to be one someone looks through in years and think, oh she gave up.

I want to succeed, I want to lose weight and finally get where I want to be. My life seems to be on hold until I fix my weight, I refuse to buy new clothes, have my hair done, go out with friends etc until I lose weight. It just doesn’t seem possible, failure seems inevitable after so many attempts. Its ridiculous how something so simple can be sooo hard!

This is a very long and selfish post! I apologise; just need to vent. I don’t want to offend anyone, I know many dieters are successful, I’m just getting scared that I may not be one them. I apologise for the rant

When I first started the diet I was very resistant to eating differently at the end. After a couple of months I accepted that I would need to and worried about how to. After another 6 months I realised that I wanted to...

Sometimes people stop posting because they are sorted and don't need to come on the forum anymore - and sometimes they will have put the weight back on again. You can't tell just from an abandoned diary thread.

Don't put your life on hold for the weight loss. Losing weight will not solve all of your problems. Get yourself out there, get your hair done, get some clothes that you feel great in. Then think about losing weight as an additional thing.

I reached goal 3 months ago and although I'm currently 7 to 10 lbs more than I would like to be I'm actually quite chuffed with how I've been doing so far. This is the hardest part but I'm getting there slowly and I'm doing everything I can to help me to succeed. I suspect I'll need to manage this for the rest of my life. Strangely that is no longer a big negative for me.

 

[Maka]

Hi Lucy, I could have written your post because that is exactly how I felt for several months. As Weasey says, there is a point where you need to get to terms with the fact that if you don't change your eating (and exercising) habits after losing the weight, it is likely to just pile on again. I was inspired by reading other people's post-weightloss plans and I suppose it is about finding that "way of eating" that you can sustain forever. Plus exercise. I hated getting sweaty, but now for me, there's no denying that if I don't get moving, those hips are gonna be getting stuck in the door again
S&S is only for a while and a great, fairly quick solution so hang in there hun.
And keep coming on here because you will find lots of support always.
Good luck!

 

[LucyNewMum]

thanks rebekah, weasey and maka

i just read through the post again and i sound like a child that isnt getting my own way lol. i wrote it after bingeing on sandwiches and chocolate all morning and feeling like a big depressed loser!

i know you're all right. need to accept im not one the people in the world that doesnt have to worry about their body. also gotta realise it aint gonna change unless i do summat about it! just get annoyed at myself when i faff around on a diet that i no will give me success if i stick to it, like you say need to think of it as a way of eating more than a restrictive diet
agreed maka- this forum is priceless when it comes to helping. i can spend hours on here getting motivated and inspired!

over the past two months tho ive failed to stick 100% for more than a week or so without blipping and that turns into several days of bingeing! you've all done so incrediable well its very encouraging - i no that maintaining will be much harder so trying to think of this as the easier bit

thanks guys, gotta stop sulking and get down to it

 

[weasey]

It might be helpful to think about why you eat. How are you feeling when you eat? What emotions are there? If the eating is a symptom of a different issue then you may find it better to address the other issue first and come back to the weight later. I'm not suggesting that you post all of the answers to those questions on the forum but it might be good to think these things through for yourself.

 

[AliGal]

Hello, Lucy. What a thought provoking thread. Thank you everyone.

I think that managing our heads is a really important part of getting in the right space. To shed weight, we have to eat and live differently. It may or may not involve exercise, calorie counting, vlcds, low carb high protein or a sliming club on line or in person. To a certain extent, it doesn't matter what you choose.

What does matter is that you do whatever you've decided to do, day after day with a positive attitude. That doesn't mean to say that we don't have bad days. That's natural. However success will come by dusting one's self off, like you just did, and taking another step. It's one step at a time, one decision at a time, that breeds success. Having support on here and maybe, if the tone suits you, on the Tough Love thread, is really really useful. http://www.minimins.com/general-weight-loss-discussion/274655-tough-love-apply-within.html It's open to all people. You just say what you are doing, fess up when nt suceeding and/or ask for help. they folk on there are pretty direct - so it's not for everyone. The posters support everyone to live up to whatever they committed to and maybe more.

Managing self talk really matters because whatever you think is right. So if you think you can, you will and if you think you can't you won't. Reading this thread on your Inner Fred may also be helpful: http://www.minimins.com/bring-your-...follow/145230-changing-habits-using-fred.html

Take care of yourself and be kind to yourself along the way. Gettting rid of clown clothes even when in transition so you look yor best and doing some self care like having your bedroom nice, clean sheets once a week, having the occassional soak in the bath and using of the baby's lotion to pamper yourself is all part of keeping yourself looked after and sane. Good luck, Lucy.

 

[BordersGirl]

Hi Lucy,

I've pretty much stopped posting on my diary now as I've moved to maintenance and am maintaining. I went through the whole S&S journey, found the support on this forum fantastic at the time, but now that I've moved to maintenance I don't need it as much so I rarely come here to be honest. I have a few people who were going through the weight loss journey at the same time as me who I keep up with via MFP or whatever but other than that I don't need to update my diary at the moment. So as Weasey says it's not because I put on all the weight again, it's just that I've moved to a different style of managing my progress now that I'm in maintenance. I'm not saying that maintenance is a breeze because I've put on and lost the same half stone for months now, but I definitely haven't piled on all of the weight. You absolutely can succeed. You just have to believe that and give it all you've got. Set yourself some non food treats for some near term targets to try to motivate yourself, and let these be manicures, buying yourself some jewellery, a massage or whatever floats your boat and use these to help feel better about yourself. And focus on the fact that the nearer to your goal you get the better you will feel anyway. It's just a natural outcome from the process of losing weight, and it's a good, satisfying outcome too. Believe in yourself!

 

[noodles1609]

I've not been doing this very long at all, and I'm incredibly consious that I always start a plan with tons of motivation and an absolute willingness to succeed. What's different this time for me is a couple of books I was recommended right at the start, I'm not finished with either yet, but boy, they are making a difference to my head for sure. The Beck Diet Solution by Judith Beck is amazing - when reading the start of it I really did think she'd been following me round and observing my life, then you realise that you are far from alone in your thinking, and that's a comfort and a half - she then has a plan of activities to work through, I've not started on them yet, want to get settled and read through the other book first - Eating Less: Say goodbye to overeating by Gillian Riley. Worth a look