Is my consultant being helpful...?

Discussion in 'Slimming World' started by Fifi 1984, 1 June 2010 Social URL.

  1. Fifi 1984

    Fifi 1984 Full Member

    Posts:
    92
    Likes Received:
    0
    Start Weight:
    10st4lb
    Current Weight:
    10st4lb
    Goal Weight:
    9st0lb
    Lost(%):
    0st0lb(0%)
    Diet:
    Slimming World
    Been doing SW for about a year now, been very much up and down with it and will have a few weeks where I'll do really well and then a few where I STS / put on one, lose it, put on half and so on. I have often considered that I may be wasting my money paying for WI every week but have tried on a few (3 :eek:) to do SW myself without the support of the class, everytime I've put on all the weight or more so find that someone keeping check of my weight, regardless of the fact it'd be cheaper to just buy my own scales, somehow keeps me stable or losing small amounts.

    This new consultant that I've had seems very nice and what i really liked about her 6 months ago after leaving my local group was that she gave me a telling off every now and then, I mean a real telling off, but I liked this, it gave me the kick up the bum I needed. Now for the past 5 weeks I've been traying hard and don't seem to lose anymore than 1 lb a week - I know it's not a big loss but I'm happy with it, I know what I could do to speed the losses up but I'm not big, I just want to make sure I don't get any bigger.

    These past few weeks with my constant but small losses she's still been telling me off, I've just got back from WI and lost 1/2. that's not a great loss but the past week I've been very naughty - OHs birthday and have had a weekend of so much fun (drinking, eating and not caring) so I was pretty chuffed with my half off. Clearly she thought it was rubbish, she made it very clear that she was dissapointed and completly disregarded this as a loss. It really blew the wind out of my sails....now, I realise that this week I'm goign to have to be extra good to make sure that the weekend just gone does not catch up with me but

    I thought she was a little unsupportive. Am I being overly sensitive or is this a bit harsh of her, what do you lot think? xx
     
  2. Avatar

    MiniMins.com Matched Content

  3. mojomcl

    mojomcl Silver Member

    Posts:
    946
    Likes Received:
    24
    Start Weight:
    20st5lb
    Current Weight:
    20st5lb
    Goal Weight:
    12st7lb
    Lost(%):
    0st0lb(0%)
    C's shouldn't be telling ANYONE off! SW is all about seeing the positives in our efforts and results.
    How DARE she poo-poo your loss!
    You seem to be a lovely weight and to expect you to continue losing at a great rate is ridiculous, especially as she must realise you are soing SW to CONTROL your weight, rather than lose it.
    I certainly wouldn't be paying my fiver a week to be treated like that!
     
  4. GracieMai

    GracieMai Full Member

    Posts:
    412
    Likes Received:
    9
    Start Weight:
    11st8.5lb
    Current Weight:
    11st1lb
    Goal Weight:
    9st8.5lb
    Lost(%):
    0st7.5lb(4.62%)
    Diet:
    Slimming World
    Harsh I think, a loss is a loss at the end of the day. I would be really upset if someone belittled my losses, all those half lbs add up!! Perhaps have a quiet word with her and let her know how you feel, she may not have meant to upset. Perhaps if you let her know she will think twice before telling you off again. We all respond differently and personally I dont respond to telling off, I'm a softie and usually end up in tears lol!!

    Good luck xxx
     
  5. Happy Holidays

    Happy Holidays Gold Member

    Posts:
    18,581
    Likes Received:
    131
    Start Weight:
    9st11lb
    Current Weight:
    8st9lb
    Goal Weight:
    8st9lb
    Lost(%):
    1st2lb(11.68%)
    Badges:
    Maintainer
    Diet:
    Slimming World
    I think she is being supportive by 'telling you off' when you have gained or STS, but a loss is a loss & shouldn't be frowned upon.

    You're doing really well, I'd tell your consultant her comments are uncalled for and you feel you are doing well.
     
  6. teens74

    teens74 Full Member

    Posts:
    196
    Likes Received:
    2
    Start Weight:
    16st1lb
    Current Weight:
    16st1lb
    Goal Weight:
    10st0lb
    Lost(%):
    0st0lb(0%)
    Diet:
    Slimming World
    I think this is really unhelpful on so many levels and I would HAVE to have a quiet word with her

    or change class lol

    x
     
  7. cocktailprincess

    cocktailprincess Still rockin' it

    Posts:
    2,542
    Likes Received:
    309
    Start Weight:
    18st13lb
    Current Weight:
    10st12lb
    Goal Weight:
    10st13lb
    Lost(%):
    8st1lb(42.64%)
    Badges:
    Maintainer
    Diet:
    Slimming World - On-line member
    I have lost at the rate of avg 1lb a week for 2 years- I class this as a massive achievement and am furious to think that someone in a position to motivate others' weigh loss would see it as anything other than a huge success!

    I am all for a kick up the bum when needed, but how you can expect to motivate someone who is suceeding with negativity is just crazy!

    Congratulations on your losses for this and your previous weeks- you should be VERY proud of every single miniscule particle of fat (let alone a WHOLE POUND) that no longer sits on your organs or in your arteries. xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
     
  8. Fifi 1984

    Fifi 1984 Full Member

    Posts:
    92
    Likes Received:
    0
    Start Weight:
    10st4lb
    Current Weight:
    10st4lb
    Goal Weight:
    9st0lb
    Lost(%):
    0st0lb(0%)
    Diet:
    Slimming World
    Thanks everyone, I wasn't too sure if I was being a little bit silly and over sensitive. I think I'll mention it to her next week.

    Like a lot of you say, I'm all for a kick up the bum every now and then but a loss is a loss and I am trying, maybe I could try harder but I'm fairly happy with my slow losses - I'm past the point of hating what I see in the mirror and feel OK about myself so yes...maybe I need to show a little more of this confidence and have a little word. :)
     
  9. CamilleBates

    CamilleBates Alomst there :)

    Posts:
    485
    Likes Received:
    16
    Start Weight:
    12st2lb
    Current Weight:
    9st2lb
    Goal Weight:
    9st7lb
    Lost(%):
    3st0lb(24.71%)
    Diet:
    SW
    Ooooh, I wouldn't stand for that TBH!!!

    Sometimes life does get in the way, and sometimes you just don't want to be good all the time. Your consultant should be praising you for still losing after the weekend you had. Alot of people would have gained after having a 'bad' week and you should be proud that you didn't!
     
  10. Mrs V

    Mrs V Loves Life!

    Posts:
    7,607
    Likes Received:
    281
    Start Weight:
    21st7lb
    Current Weight:
    12st5lb
    Goal Weight:
    11st0lb
    Lost(%):
    9st2lb(42.52%)
    Diet:
    Slimming World
    I would definitely have a word with her. She should not be telling you off regardless and Im surprised if she takes the same attitude with other members that she hasnt lost people!
     
  11. malaika

    malaika Lover of Extra Easy

    Posts:
    2,273
    Likes Received:
    83
    Start Weight:
    11st8lb
    Current Weight:
    9st0lb
    Goal Weight:
    9st0lb
    Lost(%):
    2st8lb(22.22%)
    Diet:
    slimming world
    I don't think it's right telling you off, even if you have a gain, let alone a loss.
    Our consultant never tells anyone off, even if they have a huge gain. She offers help and advice but telling off is a no no in our group.
    I'd have a word with her so that she knows it's not on.
    You are paying, after all and she is there to support you and not put you down.
     
  12. Purple_Star

    Purple_Star Silver Member

    Posts:
    972
    Likes Received:
    35
    Start Weight:
    20st0lb
    Current Weight:
    12st11lb
    Goal Weight:
    11st7lb
    Lost(%):
    7st3lb(36.07%)
    Diet:
    Slimming World
    I agree totally with Sonia. Their role is surely to advise and support, not to treat you like a child!!! At the end of the day, you did a fabulous job by losing anything, I can't believe she had a problem with that - not nice of her at all!!!! I def wouldn't like that. I can see why a C would be fruastrated if you were blaming the 'diet' etc, but you acknowledged that you hadn't stuck to the plan all week, but obviously did enough the rest of the week to pull it back, which is what its all about! For goodness sake, you have to live - and this is for life after all!!! We aren't going to live the rest of our lives never indulging, its all about being able to slip back into the plan after indulging - thats the challenge - and you did brilliantly at it.

    Phew, rant over lol.

    Well done hon, you are doing fab xxx
     
  13. Starlight

    Starlight Gold Member

    Posts:
    37,910
    Likes Received:
    1,128
    Diet:
    Weight Watchers
    Thats terrible, a loss is a loss regardless!! She shouldnt be telling you off period though, any time Ive done classes over the years if I had a gain the leader asked if I knew why I gained and I said yeah it was down to X Y or Z they were always of the attitude, well you know where you went wrong and why you gained so youll be 100% this week to compensate?? I never ever got told off for a gain. Personally I dont think thats their role. They should be encouraging and supporting not criticising.

    Lets face it most times we gain we know exactly why, when you think of the number of times people on here post that they dont want to go to WI cos they think they gained andeveryone always says to go and face the music, imagine if on top of that you had to deal with getting told off too :eek:

    Id definitely have a words with her, or change classes - and let her know why
     
  14. judimac

    judimac Mad old Bat with Attitude

    Posts:
    5,247
    Likes Received:
    182
    Start Weight:
    14st5lb
    Diet:
    WW
    Definitely out of order! You don't have much to lose, so 1lb a week is a triumph! I think if she does it again, I would take her aside and tell her how hurtful her comments are. If you don't get a decent response, then write a letter to head office. They can't correct what's going on if they don't know about it.
     
  15. Jennyonaplate

    Jennyonaplate Gold Member

    Posts:
    2,118
    Likes Received:
    73
    Diet:
    Slimming World
    I may be devil's advocate here, but if she's seen you respond in the past to a little stern word, she may think she's helping you to achieve even greater losses next week.

    I think a quiet word to her to say that you appreciate all she's done to encourage and motivate you in the past, but right now what you need is lots of support and positivity (or whatever it is you want!). I used to go through phases of telling my consultant to be tough, followed by very laid back other times!
     
  16. Sally_Cinnamon

    Sally_Cinnamon doesn't have a witty name

    Posts:
    218
    Likes Received:
    6
    Start Weight:
    18st6lb
    Current Weight:
    17st12lb
    Goal Weight:
    10st10lb
    Lost(%):
    0st8lb(3.1%)
    Diet:
    Slimming World
    I'm in agreement with Jennyonaplate :)

    It seems that her leadership style and personality are a little more abrupt and no-nonsense than some other consultants, and in the past you've responded positively to her approach. Given past interactions between the two of you, she had no way of predicting that, on this occasion, her approach would be upsetting to you and probably just adopted her usual "kick-up-the-rear" manner without a second thought, obviously expecting it to motivate you as it had in the past. I'm sure that if she had known that it would upset you, she would have handled it differently.

    But as everyone has pointed out, a loss is a loss and you shouldn't be made to feel belittled regardless of what the scales say and I do feel that a gentle word is in order, just to let her know that sometimes she needs to soften up a little. I'd bet my last Malteaser that she'll be devastated to think that she'd caused you upset.

    In a wider context, it sounds like she's been a great ally for you so far, and an ally that you want to keep on your side. One blip does not a disastrous consultant make--and it could be that she'd had a bad week and was somehow channeling that in her class. I think we all too easily forget that these consultants that we rely on so much are just like us, humans with their own issues (weight and otherwise) and whilst they have a duty to behave professionally and consistently, sometimes life just gets in the way.

    Congratulations on your continued weight loss, by the way, sticking to an eating plan is ALWAYS to be applauded :)
     
    cocktailprincess likes this.
Popular Forums
  1. MiniMins.com is a weight loss support community helping each other on their weight loss journey. We have a multitude of forums, from Slimming World and Exante, to Success Stories. Click the logo at the top right to return to the forum home page at any time.
Loading...