Is my consultant being helpful...?

[Fifi 1984]

Been doing SW for about a year now, been very much up and down with it and will have a few weeks where I'll do really well and then a few where I STS / put on one, lose it, put on half and so on. I have often considered that I may be wasting my money paying for WI every week but have tried on a few (3 ) to do SW myself without the support of the class, everytime I've put on all the weight or more so find that someone keeping check of my weight, regardless of the fact it'd be cheaper to just buy my own scales, somehow keeps me stable or losing small amounts.

This new consultant that I've had seems very nice and what i really liked about her 6 months ago after leaving my local group was that she gave me a telling off every now and then, I mean a real telling off, but I liked this, it gave me the kick up the bum I needed. Now for the past 5 weeks I've been traying hard and don't seem to lose anymore than 1 lb a week - I know it's not a big loss but I'm happy with it, I know what I could do to speed the losses up but I'm not big, I just want to make sure I don't get any bigger.

These past few weeks with my constant but small losses she's still been telling me off, I've just got back from WI and lost 1/2. that's not a great loss but the past week I've been very naughty - OHs birthday and have had a weekend of so much fun (drinking, eating and not caring) so I was pretty chuffed with my half off. Clearly she thought it was rubbish, she made it very clear that she was dissapointed and completly disregarded this as a loss. It really blew the wind out of my sails....now, I realise that this week I'm goign to have to be extra good to make sure that the weekend just gone does not catch up with me but

I thought she was a little unsupportive. Am I being overly sensitive or is this a bit harsh of her, what do you lot think? xx

 

[mojomcl]

C's shouldn't be telling ANYONE off! SW is all about seeing the positives in our efforts and results.
How DARE she poo-poo your loss!
You seem to be a lovely weight and to expect you to continue losing at a great rate is ridiculous, especially as she must realise you are soing SW to CONTROL your weight, rather than lose it.
I certainly wouldn't be paying my fiver a week to be treated like that!

 

[GracieMai]

Harsh I think, a loss is a loss at the end of the day. I would be really upset if someone belittled my losses, all those half lbs add up!! Perhaps have a quiet word with her and let her know how you feel, she may not have meant to upset. Perhaps if you let her know she will think twice before telling you off again. We all respond differently and personally I dont respond to telling off, I'm a softie and usually end up in tears lol!!

Good luck xxx

 

[Happy Holidays]

I think she is being supportive by 'telling you off' when you have gained or STS, but a loss is a loss & shouldn't be frowned upon.

You're doing really well, I'd tell your consultant her comments are uncalled for and you feel you are doing well.

 

[teens74]

I think this is really unhelpful on so many levels and I would HAVE to have a quiet word with her

or change class lol

x

 

[cocktailprincess]

I have lost at the rate of avg 1lb a week for 2 years- I class this as a massive achievement and am furious to think that someone in a position to motivate others' weigh loss would see it as anything other than a huge success!

I am all for a kick up the bum when needed, but how you can expect to motivate someone who is suceeding with negativity is just crazy!

Congratulations on your losses for this and your previous weeks- you should be VERY proud of every single miniscule particle of fat (let alone a WHOLE POUND) that no longer sits on your organs or in your arteries. xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

 

[Fifi 1984]

Thanks everyone, I wasn't too sure if I was being a little bit silly and over sensitive. I think I'll mention it to her next week.

Like a lot of you say, I'm all for a kick up the bum every now and then but a loss is a loss and I am trying, maybe I could try harder but I'm fairly happy with my slow losses - I'm past the point of hating what I see in the mirror and feel OK about myself so yes...maybe I need to show a little more of this confidence and have a little word.

 

[CamilleBates]

Ooooh, I wouldn't stand for that TBH!!!

Sometimes life does get in the way, and sometimes you just don't want to be good all the time. Your consultant should be praising you for still losing after the weekend you had. Alot of people would have gained after having a 'bad' week and you should be proud that you didn't!

 

[Mrs V]

I would definitely have a word with her. She should not be telling you off regardless and Im surprised if she takes the same attitude with other members that she hasnt lost people!

 

[malaika]

I don't think it's right telling you off, even if you have a gain, let alone a loss.
Our consultant never tells anyone off, even if they have a huge gain. She offers help and advice but telling off is a no no in our group.
I'd have a word with her so that she knows it's not on.
You are paying, after all and she is there to support you and not put you down.

 

[Purple_Star]

I agree totally with Sonia. Their role is surely to advise and support, not to treat you like a child!!! At the end of the day, you did a fabulous job by losing anything, I can't believe she had a problem with that - not nice of her at all!!!! I def wouldn't like that. I can see why a C would be fruastrated if you were blaming the 'diet' etc, but you acknowledged that you hadn't stuck to the plan all week, but obviously did enough the rest of the week to pull it back, which is what its all about! For goodness sake, you have to live - and this is for life after all!!! We aren't going to live the rest of our lives never indulging, its all about being able to slip back into the plan after indulging - thats the challenge - and you did brilliantly at it.

Phew, rant over lol.

Well done hon, you are doing fab xxx

 

[Starlight]

Thats terrible, a loss is a loss regardless!! She shouldnt be telling you off period though, any time Ive done classes over the years if I had a gain the leader asked if I knew why I gained and I said yeah it was down to X Y or Z they were always of the attitude, well you know where you went wrong and why you gained so youll be 100% this week to compensate?? I never ever got told off for a gain. Personally I dont think thats their role. They should be encouraging and supporting not criticising.

Lets face it most times we gain we know exactly why, when you think of the number of times people on here post that they dont want to go to WI cos they think they gained andeveryone always says to go and face the music, imagine if on top of that you had to deal with getting told off too

Id definitely have a words with her, or change classes - and let her know why

 

[judimac]

Definitely out of order! You don't have much to lose, so 1lb a week is a triumph! I think if she does it again, I would take her aside and tell her how hurtful her comments are. If you don't get a decent response, then write a letter to head office. They can't correct what's going on if they don't know about it.

 

[Jennyonaplate]

I may be devil's advocate here, but if she's seen you respond in the past to a little stern word, she may think she's helping you to achieve even greater losses next week.

I think a quiet word to her to say that you appreciate all she's done to encourage and motivate you in the past, but right now what you need is lots of support and positivity (or whatever it is you want!). I used to go through phases of telling my consultant to be tough, followed by very laid back other times!

 

[Sally_Cinnamon]

I'm in agreement with Jennyonaplate

It seems that her leadership style and personality are a little more abrupt and no-nonsense than some other consultants, and in the past you've responded positively to her approach. Given past interactions between the two of you, she had no way of predicting that, on this occasion, her approach would be upsetting to you and probably just adopted her usual "kick-up-the-rear" manner without a second thought, obviously expecting it to motivate you as it had in the past. I'm sure that if she had known that it would upset you, she would have handled it differently.

But as everyone has pointed out, a loss is a loss and you shouldn't be made to feel belittled regardless of what the scales say and I do feel that a gentle word is in order, just to let her know that sometimes she needs to soften up a little. I'd bet my last Malteaser that she'll be devastated to think that she'd caused you upset.

In a wider context, it sounds like she's been a great ally for you so far, and an ally that you want to keep on your side. One blip does not a disastrous consultant make--and it could be that she'd had a bad week and was somehow channeling that in her class. I think we all too easily forget that these consultants that we rely on so much are just like us, humans with their own issues (weight and otherwise) and whilst they have a duty to behave professionally and consistently, sometimes life just gets in the way.

Congratulations on your continued weight loss, by the way, sticking to an eating plan is ALWAYS to be applauded