Its gona be over tonight

[PrincessBex]

Hi,

Thank you everyone for your kind messages.

He finished it.

Said he hadnt been sure about us for a while. So now it feels awful that he's been with me for a while and not wanted to. He says he does like me, but just not in that way. He just doesnt feel the same anymore. He says he does care about me, and apologised a lot. Then called me a cab and got rid of me.

So thats that then. Doesnt feel real. Keep thinking he's going to change his mind. But I know he wont.

Its probably for the best. I can have a new start in the new year. I need to spend some time on me. Sort myself out.

Its still hurts though

 

[MadamDotty]

Aww Bex

Sorry to hear about that. Tough time of year to split up with someone.

Keep your chin up girl, it's hard though I know.

BIG (((((hugs)))))

xx

 

[KD]

Awww Becky. I'm sooo sorry

We know these things are usually for the best and as one door closes another opens, but it does still hurt. I remember the pain myself.

Remember...this too will pass. Lots of hugs sweetie.

 

[Karen]

I agree about doors closing and others opening.

I have been really gutted about the end of some relationships and not understood what went wrong....then I meet someone new who brings different aspects of a relationship to the table and I grow and learn something new.

As you said yourself, u had thought about finishing the relationship so there was obviously something not quite right for both of you.

Now you have the opportunity to meet someone that'll give you butterflies in your tummy and bring new, better things to the table. thats much better than a relationship where you are both umming and ahhing about finishing it. You deserve something more substancial.

you'll learn, grow and meet someone who will give you something more. then u can look back on this bloke and feel that it was nice at the time but your a more developed person and you'll be glad its gone cos you'll be stronger on your own or with someone you prefer to be with.

Im sure this relationship taught you loads but you have more to experience, obviously. I hope you wont let it make you bitter. take the lessons and use them in your future but be open to let more stuff in.

in the meantime, theres nowt wrong with a bit of wallowing. lick your wounds but make sure you dont let it go too far. you have important stuff to do! like taking care of yourself and not letting the actions/non-actions of a bloke dictate your happiness and wellbeing.

best best BEST wishes
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

 

[mrs tweedy]

Aaw Bex hun, I'm sorry. What a booger to finish it just before Chrimbo, (maybe he's just a scrooge and didn't want to have to buy any pressies)

Seriously though hun, you are probably better off now as you weren't completely sure of the relationship either, so possibly he's done you a big favour!

Take a bit of time to recover and then pick up dust off and forget about him!
Time to concentrate on just yourself now hun, now is the beginning of an exciting new you!

xx

 

[PrincessBex]

It just hurts so much. But then I kinda feel numb too.

I just cant get my head round us not being together anymore. That Im not going to be spending time with him anymore. That I cant talk to him whenever I want. I had thought he could be the one. Despite everything, we had talked about marriage and kids and stuff. Thats not going to be happening now.

Theres a line in the film Wedding Planner, 'I know its a good thing Im not with him, but I cant help thinking I just wasnt good enough'

 

[Karen1972]

hey darlin'

hope you are ok???? I would just like to echo what Dom said and you WILL be ok whatever happens, there is absolutely no doubt about that!!!

let us know what happened babe, you have sooo much support here and we can help you whatever the outcome...

Thinking of u

 

[Karen1972]

Sorry honey i replied after reading only the first page!!!

OK, listen if he's finished it then he wasn't good enough for you!! You want someone that totally loves and respects you and wants to be with you!!

It is normal for you to be hurting so much and feeling so negative, it's just part of the grieving process but you WILL get over it. Time REALLY is a great healer and you will look back and realise he's done you a favour.

There are so many things you want to do in your life, losing weight being one of them, use this negative energy and channel it into transforming yourself into the person you want to be - physically and emotionally.

Go with the pain, you need to get it out of your system but also see the chink of light at the end of the tunnel that is going to get larger and larger every day!! I promise you that you'll be fine darlin'

Lots ov luv,

 

[PrincessBex]

Hi Karen,

Thanks hun. He did finish it (a few posts back) lol.

I hope I will be ok, its just having to feel like this until then thats tough.

I normally use the 'this too shall pass' on other people, but its a lot harder to see when its happening to you.

Im at work at the mo, and a bit of a wreck. Shouldnt have bothered with mascara this morning, most of its ended up on my cheeks already.

Im just so lonely as it is, without him its going to be even worse.

I just want a hug

 

[PrincessBex]

Thanks Karen,

I hope your right and it gets easier. There are so many things I want to do, maybe it will be easier without having to worry about someone else and whether they want to be with me.

But it also means I dont have anyone supporting me when i try to make things better.

Its just so raw still

 

[Karen]

Being YOU is ALWAYS good enough.

it'll be tough, especially it being Christmas but this is HIS loss and you'll be ok.

xxxx

 

[Linkypie2006]

Hey Becky,

I don't post on here that often...but just wanted to send you hugs and let you know that I'm thinking of you.

Linkypie
xx

 

[punkass]

Hiya Becky

Just been catching up on your thread, I agree with what Dom said.. you WILL be okay!! Things (especially relationship things) are never as bad as they at first seem. There is no point staying in a relationship that isn't any fun anymore.. for either of you, you said that you had thought about finishing it yourself.

Put it behind you and concentrate on YOU. Yes you are hurting right now.. but every day this fades (if you're lucky and are like me, it will have faded and disappeared by tomorrow... but then my mates do say I have no heart!!!!).... so what I think you should do is go out for some lunch with friends (obviously by lunch I mean a lovely sparkling mineral water lol if you are SSing), maybe even go out this evening for a few drinks, chill, take it easy, have a laugh, hell go to a comedy club or something like that or stay in and pamper yourself, get a dvd.... do the Bridget Jones turning to Vodka thing lol and cry over weepy movies... but get it out of ur system and then look at tomorrow as a new start..... FOR YOU! Don't worry about being one half of a couple, just do things that you want to do, but most of all have some fun....!

 

[Mini]

Hi Becky,

It is very painful when you break up with someone who has been such a major part of your life and it will take time to get over it, so be gentle with yourself and accept what your feeling as natural and at the end of the day for the best, for when it works right it just works.

I loved each and everyone of the men in my life and even now I still have love for the time that was with them and what I loved about them back then, it was just that it was not enough, either I was not enough for them or they were not enough for me...there was something missing and nothing in the world can make it right no matter how much we want it to be.

I had my heart broken and ripped apart on a couple of occassions...

Now I have no regrets for I did find my one and only and each day I wake up beside him I thank God for what I have.

I fully believe that we all have our perfect soul mate and you just know when you find them for you feel secure and never have to question it as there is no doubts, it just is so very special and feels so right...

Sending hugs and love.

Love Mini xxx

 

[Karen1972]

Babes i know its raw, and i remember the feelings well. Can't stop crying, don't want to eat (that's a good thing!), just want to whinge whinge whinge. Well my girl you GO FOR IT, wallow in it for a SHORT time then start to pull yourself together. I know you feel that you will never get over it blah blah blah cos that's how i feel even after a short term relationship (sad as fcuk i know!), but you will and deep down you know you will.

Concentrate on you, do what makes you happy, or less sad in this case. You said you were lonely, think of ways to increase your social life, join a club or a dating site (lol) - only when you're ready of course!

Hoping you feel better real soon darlin....

 

[Gen]

Just want to give you a huge big vitual hug and as much as you can please try to see this as a positive thing for you and your journey... as you said urself you were thinking of finishing it so things weren't right. you will be fine and 2007 can be ur year!!!

love

Gen xxxx

 

[PrincessBex]

Thank you so much everyone for your lovely posts.

I wish I had one of you here to look after me. I wish I had a good mate to take me out and cheer me up, or watch movies and get drunk with, but I dont. How sad is that.

So ill be on me tod with a film and some cider and blackcurrent tonight I think! REALLY wish a I Good ole bridget jones on dvd to watch tonight, think it would help!

I can get over this cant I? No. Yes. I miss him. It still hasnt sunk in that im now alone.

Well im doing the wingeing thing alright anyway. Sorry

 

[Gen]

hey... sometimes having people around ya might just make ya worse??? anyway... you will get over this try to stop thinking the 'alone' word... i think its a very negative word, maybe try think of moving on????

i'm not being smart by saying this but remember there is always the samaratins to talk to.... they are non-judemental and haven't a clue about backround so would be able to give you a good insight without being personally involved.... it just might be somewhere you can turn to if it all gets too much.

when you get home get out a pen and paper and write and write and write just whatever comes into your head... cry, laugh, get angry but just keep writing.... it does help and even if it makes it 10% better... well its worth it eh???

hope you feel loads better soon hun

love and mega hugs

Gen xxxxxx

 

[mrs tweedy]

Where about are you hun? maybe one of us is close to where you are??

Do you not have any work pals that you can have a girly night with? maybe to go to the cinema with or rent a girly dvd together?

(((HUGS))) just think, in a couple of months when you are at your goal and you've washed him right out of your hair you will be feeling so fab, and this will all be a distant memory xx

 

[PrincessBex]

Thanks Gen. And suggesting the Samaritans was very helpful thank you. I will keep it in mind if things do get bad.

Mrs Tweedy, ah bless ya hun. Im in Croydon, not noticed anyones nearbye. I dont really have anyone here. All my good friends live far away. So might be an evening on the phone I think. I just want it to go away. Fast forward a couple of weeks when it feels better