Think I will, but not go mad. Want to enjoy, but not ruin everything! I'm enjoying the new me too much lol!! xxx
I've started, and I WILL finish fabulously (that's the plan anyway) :)
- Thread starter NatM70
- Start date
Think I will, but not go mad. Want to enjoy, but not ruin everything! I'm enjoying the new me too much lol!! xxx
Wow! Nat you have done brilliantlyMassive well done!
Thank you Lavinia!
Am so pleased! Never thought I had the willpower, but it's been so worth it! xxx
<3_my_cat_x
Full Member
Nat that's amazing!!! You are doing SO well! 12lbs to go WOOOOOOOOP! You'll be there in no time
Read about your family saga lovely - hope you're ok :bighug:I agree with everything Lou has said. Try not to let it get you down. Families can cause so much awkwardness can't they! Just a shame we can't pick them eh?! I have to say that at points my family probably wouldn't be out of place sat on Jeremy Kyle's stage LOL
Def enjoy your night out - you deserve it and you can get straight back on it the day after Have a great day xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
You are doing SO well! 12lbs to go WOOOOOOOOP! You'll be there in no time Read about your family saga lovely - hope you're ok :bighug:I agree with everything Lou has said. Try not to let it get you down. Families can cause so much awkwardness can't they! Just a shame we can't pick them eh?! I have to say that at points my family probably wouldn't be out of place sat on Jeremy Kyle's stage LOL
Def enjoy your night out - you deserve it and you can get straight back on it the day after
Have a great day xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Minerva
...we're sinking deeper.
Morning lovely - well done on yet another great loss!! Your first month has been a major success - I'm sure your second won't be far off
Err, before you go on - feel free to ignore my essay below !! I wrote it in the daze of sleepiness and right now I'm debating whether to erase it or not... Either way, I am sorry if it's a deep and painful subject, I obviously don't know your individual situation with your hubby's parents, I may very well be interpreting things wrong. But just wanted to bring a different perspective in.
----
I read your saga with your hubby and his parents... The thing is, hubby is trying to patch you both up (yes, against your instincts), but it's obviously a sore point for him. He doesn't want you two to fight, it really seems like he's negotiating in the background. He actually wants you two to get on, MIL stopped smoking in her own house to see Max. Surely it's a step in the right direction? I'd take that, situation may improve with time, just right now both of you are very touchy and hurt on the subject. You want Max to be happy and see his grandparents/cousins after all.
As for loans and family... Don't even get me started, my dad's lent out so much money to stepmum's families knowing full well he'll never see any of it again, and they keep wanting more. The thing is, with family there is more leniency, people take family for granted (not in a bad way), but there is more... flexibility on how far you can take things or forget them.
I have noticed that in the UK families tend to be a lot further apart emotionally, unlike families on the continent, it seems like a lot of families are nothing more than acquaintances of convenience (even grandchild/grandparent). In a Russian family, for example, you could get away with a lot more because you know nothing is meant badly. I'm not sure I can even explain it, but ... the best example is: in the UK I HAVE to say 'Please and Thank you' to any and all family. In Russia and Latvia when I started doing the same after living in the UK, my grandparents thought I was mental, they actually thought it was rude because between close family you know what's expected, there's no need to be over the top polite, they know you appreciate it, doesn't even need saying.
Errr... to cut a long story short, what I'm trying to get to here is that... with a family - even if they're not entirely your own, it's sometimes easier to forgive and forget or things will get uglier and uglier with time... and since they are your family... it's easier to get on with it.
My family had a strange issue, Latvians HATE the Russians (occupation and all that). My Latvian grandfather was sent to a Gulag for 5 years when Stalin came into power, which made him a 'traitor' of the nation. My dad (a Russian) fell in love with my mum (a Latvian) and wanted to marry. The problem here was, her family were tainted as traitors and my Russian grandfather was a Captain on the Russian Navy ships. He was denied promotion (essentially forever) because of this connection. So Russian side was angsty. Latvian side was angsty because the other side was Russian and that was reason enough to hate them.
On TOP of that, my mum decided to move to Russia to be with my dad leaving my Latvian grandparents behind. Then she died. Then my sister and I were almost split up permanently (to have a granddaughter with each set in different countries; we did end up living apart for a year)... But you know? My grandparents worked it out. My Latvian grandparents grew to love my dad (and his parents) and accepted them (who'd they'd only known for 8 years since marriage - death) - though you should see the tension in the wedding photos - they look like they're going to rip each other apart!!
Through all that they still forgave and grew the strongest bonds I have ever seen. My Latvian grandmother was the most stubborn of them all, but in the end, even 24 years after the death of her daughter, my dad, now married to another, was holding her hand as she died and she was happy.
Forgiveness is key, no matter how horrible someone may seem, they always have some reason, something that hurts them inside which is the reason why they're scared to let you in. Who knows? Maybe OH's parents are the same, a pride issue perhaps? They're family after all.
...Or maybe they're just horrid people and you can ignore everything I've just written ^ ... sorry for rambling. I'll shush now. ...
x
Your first month has been a major success - I'm sure your second won't be far off Err, before you go on - feel free to ignore my essay below !! I wrote it in the daze of sleepiness and right now I'm debating whether to erase it or not... Either way, I am sorry if it's a deep and painful subject, I obviously don't know your individual situation with your hubby's parents, I may very well be interpreting things wrong.
But just wanted to bring a different perspective in.----
I read your saga with your hubby and his parents... The thing is, hubby is trying to patch you both up (yes, against your instincts), but it's obviously a sore point for him. He doesn't want you two to fight, it really seems like he's negotiating in the background. He actually wants you two to get on, MIL stopped smoking in her own house to see Max. Surely it's a step in the right direction? I'd take that, situation may improve with time, just right now both of you are very touchy and hurt on the subject. You want Max to be happy and see his grandparents/cousins after all.
As for loans and family... Don't even get me started, my dad's lent out so much money to stepmum's families knowing full well he'll never see any of it again, and they keep wanting more. The thing is, with family there is more leniency, people take family for granted (not in a bad way), but there is more... flexibility on how far you can take things or forget them.
I have noticed that in the UK families tend to be a lot further apart emotionally, unlike families on the continent, it seems like a lot of families are nothing more than acquaintances of convenience (even grandchild/grandparent). In a Russian family, for example, you could get away with a lot more because you know nothing is meant badly. I'm not sure I can even explain it, but ... the best example is: in the UK I HAVE to say 'Please and Thank you' to any and all family. In Russia and Latvia when I started doing the same after living in the UK, my grandparents thought I was mental, they actually thought it was rude because between close family you know what's expected, there's no need to be over the top polite, they know you appreciate it, doesn't even need saying.
Errr... to cut a long story short, what I'm trying to get to here is that... with a family - even if they're not entirely your own, it's sometimes easier to forgive and forget or things will get uglier and uglier with time... and since they are your family... it's easier to get on with it.
My family had a strange issue, Latvians HATE the Russians (occupation and all that). My Latvian grandfather was sent to a Gulag for 5 years when Stalin came into power, which made him a 'traitor' of the nation. My dad (a Russian) fell in love with my mum (a Latvian) and wanted to marry. The problem here was, her family were tainted as traitors and my Russian grandfather was a Captain on the Russian Navy ships. He was denied promotion (essentially forever) because of this connection. So Russian side was angsty. Latvian side was angsty because the other side was Russian and that was reason enough to hate them.
On TOP of that, my mum decided to move to Russia to be with my dad leaving my Latvian grandparents behind. Then she died. Then my sister and I were almost split up permanently (to have a granddaughter with each set in different countries; we did end up living apart for a year)... But you know? My grandparents worked it out. My Latvian grandparents grew to love my dad (and his parents) and accepted them (who'd they'd only known for 8 years since marriage - death) - though you should see the tension in the wedding photos - they look like they're going to rip each other apart!!
Through all that they still forgave and grew the strongest bonds I have ever seen. My Latvian grandmother was the most stubborn of them all, but in the end, even 24 years after the death of her daughter, my dad, now married to another, was holding her hand as she died and she was happy.
Forgiveness is key, no matter how horrible someone may seem, they always have some reason, something that hurts them inside which is the reason why they're scared to let you in. Who knows? Maybe OH's parents are the same, a pride issue perhaps? They're family after all.
...Or maybe they're just horrid people and you can ignore everything I've just written ^ ... sorry for rambling.
I'll shush now. ...x
beelishy
......gettin' it done.
I just realized I didnt post my YAY here. Im sure I did somewhere though..lol. Possibly other the other place. Ahem. Haha. So YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY! Well done you. I am sorry Ive been a bit awol lately. Im still here and still ticking along. Just been a bit hectic. Yesterday I had a hospital appt in the am and then when out with friends in the afternoon. Today, had a bit of an issue with tabby's nursery so ive ended up switching her to the nursery at the primary she will go to. Long story. I will inbox you all the hilarious details. xx You are doing SO fantastic! Im super excited for you! WELLLLLLLLLL DONE! xxx
xx You are doing SO fantastic! Im super excited for you! WELLLLLLLLLL DONE! xxxHiya My Cat!
I am really chuffed! I need to get 6lbs below that for the inevitable water gain tho! The results I see every week spur me on!
I'm fine thank you, rant over (lol) and now I'm just going to put them to the back of my mind - not worth it!
Lol, let me know if they ever go on, and I'll post on here if my hubby's family ever do, ha!
Thanks lovely, I will do - though I won't go stupid. No way am I spoiling this now!!
Hope you have a great day too! xxx
I am really chuffed! I need to get 6lbs below that for the inevitable water gain tho! The results I see every week spur me on!
I'm fine thank you, rant over (lol) and now I'm just going to put them to the back of my mind - not worth it!
Lol, let me know if they ever go on, and I'll post on here if my hubby's family ever do, ha!
Thanks lovely, I will do - though I won't go stupid. No way am I spoiling this now!!
Hope you have a great day too! xxx
Morning lovely - well done on yet another great loss!!
Err, before you go on - feel free to ignore my essay below !! I wrote it in the daze of sleepiness and right now I'm debating whether to erase it or not... Either way, I am sorry if it's a deep and painful subject, I obviously don't know your individual situation with your hubby's parents, I may very well be interpreting things wrong.
----
I read your saga with your hubby and his parents... The thing is, hubby is trying to patch you both up (yes, against your instincts), but it's obviously a sore point for him. He doesn't want you two to fight, it really seems like he's negotiating in the background. He actually wants you two to get on, MIL stopped smoking in her own house to see Max. Surely it's a step in the right direction? I'd take that, situation may improve with time, just right now both of you are very touchy and hurt on the subject. You want Max to be happy and see his grandparents/cousins after all.
As for loans and family... Don't even get me started, my dad's lent out so much money to stepmum's families knowing full well he'll never see any of it again, and they keep wanting more. The thing is, with family there is more leniency, people take family for granted (not in a bad way), but there is more... flexibility on how far you can take things or forget them.
I have noticed that in the UK families tend to be a lot further apart emotionally, unlike families on the continent, it seems like a lot of families are nothing more than acquaintances of convenience (even grandchild/grandparent). In a Russian family, for example, you could get away with a lot more because you know nothing is meant badly. I'm not sure I can even explain it, but ... the best example is: in the UK I HAVE to say 'Please and Thank you' to any and all family. In Russia and Latvia when I started doing the same after living in the UK, my grandparents thought I was mental, they actually thought it was rude because between close family you know what's expected, there's no need to be over the top polite, they know you appreciate it, doesn't even need saying.
Errr... to cut a long story short, what I'm trying to get to here is that... with a family - even if they're not entirely your own, it's sometimes easier to forgive and forget or things will get uglier and uglier with time... and since they are your family... it's easier to get on with it.
My family had a strange issue, Latvians HATE the Russians (occupation and all that). My Latvian grandfather was sent to a Gulag for 5 years when Stalin came into power, which made him a 'traitor' of the nation. My dad (a Russian) fell in love with my mum (a Latvian) and wanted to marry. The problem here was, her family were tainted as traitors and my Russian grandfather was a Captain on the Russian Navy ships. He was denied promotion (essentially forever) because of this connection. So Russian side was angsty. Latvian side was angsty because the other side was Russian and that was reason enough to hate them.
On TOP of that, my mum decided to move to Russia to be with my dad leaving my Latvian grandparents behind. Then she died. Then my sister and I were almost split up permanently (to have a granddaughter with each set in different countries; we did end up living apart for a year)... But you know? My grandparents worked it out. My Latvian grandparents grew to love my dad (and his parents) and accepted them (who'd they'd only known for 8 years since marriage - death) - though you should see the tension in the wedding photos - they look like they're going to rip each other apart!!
Through all that they still forgave and grew the strongest bonds I have ever seen. My Latvian grandmother was the most stubborn of them all, but in the end, even 24 years after the death of her daughter, my dad, now married to another, was holding her hand as she died and she was happy.
Forgiveness is key, no matter how horrible someone may seem, they always have some reason, something that hurts them inside which is the reason why they're scared to let you in. Who knows? Maybe OH's parents are the same, a pride issue perhaps? They're family after all.
...Or maybe they're just horrid people and you can ignore everything I've just written ^ ... sorry for rambling.
x
Morning lovely!
Thank you, very very pleased!
Yes, I can see hubby is trying to do that. His mum didn't stop smoking to see Max though - she stopped because she's skint. Then started bragging to me how she didn't need an E-Cig to stop, and how she'd smoked a lot longer than I did, blah blah blah.....got my back up as soon as I got there, lol!
I'm happy for Max of course - just wish I didn't have to see them!
Re the loan - I didn't expect thanks. Although, I didn't expect to be treat like this either - I think it's out of order to be treated like this when I saved them!
I get where you're coming from re being polite, etc. We do tend to say 'please' and thank you' a LOT!
The reason I decided to go yesterday was exactly for that. But, with how his dad treat me, I can't and won't live like that. He either starts at least acknowledging me, or he doesn't see me - it's as simple as that. I'm not going to go somewhere to be ignored when I've done nothing wrong.
I don't want him to be grateful for what I did, but I don't expect him to act like this either. Very childish!
I'm willing to forget it all, but if he wants to continue it, there's not much I can do about it, and I'm certainly not hanging around waiting for him to talk to me lol!
Blimey, your family have overcome such adversities! Wow, that's just so amazing that they've achieved that. I just think that's wonderful
It's such a shame your Mum isn't here to see all this
It must be very hard for you. Lol, never apologise to me! You talk so much sense!!
And I am willing to compromise, but if he isn't, then I'm afraid that's his choice - I'm not hanging around waiting for him to decide whether I'm worth talking to, lol!!
Thanks lovely, have a FAB day
xxxHiya Bee!
Thanks hun, very happy!
Never apologise lovely, we all have to live our lives too
How did it go with your friends? Hope you had a great time?
Yep, pls inbox me, would like to know. As long as she's okay, that's all that matters isn't it?
Thanks again lovely, hope you have a great day! xxx
Thanks hun, very happy!
Never apologise lovely, we all have to live our lives too
How did it go with your friends? Hope you had a great time?
Yep, pls inbox me, would like to know. As long as she's okay, that's all that matters isn't it?
Thanks again lovely, hope you have a great day! xxx
Periwinkle
Keep going!
Just wanted to congratulate you on another fab week!!! You're doing so well - an inspiration to me for sure xxx we're all rooting for you to succeed xxx
Sorry to hear about the stressy awkwardness with the in laws. You did them a kindness and in return you've basically got kicked in the teeth. They sound like they had hoped the money would never have to be returned (despite what they might have said). I'd say when you and your OH split up they irrationally thought it was vengeance or some ******** when you asked to be repaid. I know it's absolutely DAFT but families are weird and your in laws sound very petty so they make the wrongful assumption that everyone thinks and behaves like them.
I really think your hubby should be trying to talk to his dad about his attitude towards you. He seems not that bothered about making relations between you and his family better.
Sorry to hear about the stressy awkwardness with the in laws. You did them a kindness and in return you've basically got kicked in the teeth. They sound like they had hoped the money would never have to be returned (despite what they might have said). I'd say when you and your OH split up they irrationally thought it was vengeance or some ******** when you asked to be repaid. I know it's absolutely DAFT but families are weird and your in laws sound very petty so they make the wrongful assumption that everyone thinks and behaves like them.
I really think your hubby should be trying to talk to his dad about his attitude towards you. He seems not that bothered about making relations between you and his family better.
Periwinkle
Keep going!
Sorry reading over my post it reads as harsh against your OH - I'm sorry! I just meant my impression (as admittedly a stranger on an Internet forum) is that you really do appear to be in this conflict with inlaws alone with no real support from him.
Hiya Peri!
Aww, thanks lovely!
You don't sound harsh at all, and you've got it bang on! That's exactly how it is - trouble is, OH won't speak up to his parents. I am in this alone!
Oh well, I'll see how it pans out - I'm not going to be making small talk that's for sure. If he decided to be nice to me, then fair enough, but if he carries on ignoring me, something WILL be said, by me no doubt!
Not putting up with it!
Thanks for your input, I really appreciate it!
Goodnight lovely xxx
Aww, thanks lovely!
You don't sound harsh at all, and you've got it bang on! That's exactly how it is - trouble is, OH won't speak up to his parents. I am in this alone!
Oh well, I'll see how it pans out - I'm not going to be making small talk that's for sure. If he decided to be nice to me, then fair enough, but if he carries on ignoring me, something WILL be said, by me no doubt!
Not putting up with it!
Thanks for your input, I really appreciate it!
Goodnight lovely
xxx
Periwinkle
Keep going!
Night! I'm making courgette crisps right now (got bored) - I'll let ya know how they taste!!!
Minerva
...we're sinking deeper.
Morning lovely!
Thank you, very very pleased!
Yes, I can see hubby is trying to do that. His mum didn't stop smoking to see Max though - she stopped because she's skint. Then started bragging to me how she didn't need an E-Cig to stop, and how she'd smoked a lot longer than I did, blah blah blah.....got my back up as soon as I got there, lol!
I'm happy for Max of course - just wish I didn't have to see them!
Re the loan - I didn't expect thanks. Although, I didn't expect to be treat like this either - I think it's out of order to be treated like this when I saved them!
I get where you're coming from re being polite, etc. We do tend to say 'please' and thank you' a LOT!
The reason I decided to go yesterday was exactly for that. But, with how his dad treat me, I can't and won't live like that. He either starts at least acknowledging me, or he doesn't see me - it's as simple as that. I'm not going to go somewhere to be ignored when I've done nothing wrong.
I don't want him to be grateful for what I did, but I don't expect him to act like this either. Very childish!
I'm willing to forget it all, but if he wants to continue it, there's not much I can do about it, and I'm certainly not hanging around waiting for him to talk to me lol!
Blimey, your family have overcome such adversities! Wow, that's just so amazing that they've achieved that. I just think that's wonderful
It's such a shame your Mum isn't here to see all this
Lol, never apologise to me! You talk so much sense!!
And I am willing to compromise, but if he isn't, then I'm afraid that's his choice - I'm not hanging around waiting for him to decide whether I'm worth talking to, lol!!
Thanks lovely, have a FAB day
LOL, well, she stopped 'cause she's skint - I guess... it's something.
Hah. I hate people who brag though < I bet she'll be back to smoking within a few weeks - you however, will give up for life; you can be quietly smug then, remembering full well how she bragged about giving up! Your OH's parents really do sound horrid - I'm sorry. Despite my hatred of most people I meet, I still try to find good in everyone, no matter how awful they are at the outset. So I guess I was hoping they aren't so bad with my speech previously. But, I'm wrong in this case, clearly!
Personally I have no time for people who are unwilling to compromise or are just plain stupid/stubborn beyond belief. It's better to cut such people out of life, unfortunately, of course, you can't because of Max. He has to make his own decision as he grows up in regard to them, so well done you for allowing him the opportunity.
I know it's a hard one, but you're a wonderful mum for doing so. xxI wish you a wonderful day ahead as I expect you'll read this when you wake up!
x
LOL, well, she stopped 'cause she's skint - I guess... it's something.
Your OH's parents really do sound horrid - I'm sorry. Despite my hatred of most people I meet, I still try to find good in everyone, no matter how awful they are at the outset. So I guess I was hoping they aren't so bad with my speech previously. But, I'm wrong in this case, clearly!
Personally I have no time for people who are unwilling to compromise or are just plain stupid/stubborn beyond belief. It's better to cut such people out of life, unfortunately, of course, you can't because of Max. He has to make his own decision as he grows up in regard to them, so well done you for allowing him the opportunity.
I wish you a wonderful day ahead as I expect you'll read this when you wake up!
x
Evening lovely!
Yep, she brags. A LOT. But I've been to BetFred today and put a tenner on her starting again within the month. The odds were 11/10 - I'm figuring they know her too, ha!
If I walked around bragging like she did, then failed miserably, I'd feel like a right tool!
That's not my style though. I've no doubt she'll start again, and when she does, I'll be the b*tch again cos smoking = Max stays away. She's ruining it for everyone, yet this is my fault - go figure!!
Don't apologise - you're bang on there! They are, I put up with them for hubby. If it wasn't for him they'd have had a right gobful off of me years ago!!
Awww thanks hun, I try! I'm sure Max will decide for himself. I won't influence him in the slightest - he'll work it out for himself.
Had a good day thanks, except for a certain miniature human who is now on food AND milk strike, so off to the Docs tomo, where I expect absolutely SOD ALL being done, as per!
Enjoy the rest of your night lovely
xxxHiya Hun!
Sorry for my late reply - been on phone with HV and GP re Max and his strike! I'm taking him tomo if he's no better. Always something isn't there?!
Been to dentist too - got lost (lol), so had to phone them to find out where they were! Me+Directions = disaster!
Supposed to be like this till at least beginning of April, boo! Can't wait for some milder weather!
Hope you've had a good day lovely? Can't wait to see how you're going on SF!!
xxx
WHOOP!
Max had a huge bowl of cereal which I made up with mostly milk, but some cream too - upping his cals per day. I never thought he'd eat it all, but he did, whoop!
Just hoping this continues!!
Finally found some Decaf Filter coffee (caffeine has me climbing the walls!!) - my treat for being so good!
And, come mid-April, I'm going to treat myself to a new outfit for our friend's wedding on 4th May. I figure I'll be near goal then, so am going to treat myself for doing this diet and stopping smoking!
Have a FAB day!
xxx
Max had a huge bowl of cereal which I made up with mostly milk, but some cream too - upping his cals per day. I never thought he'd eat it all, but he did, whoop!
Just hoping this continues!!
Finally found some Decaf Filter coffee (caffeine has me climbing the walls!!) - my treat for being so good!
And, come mid-April, I'm going to treat myself to a new outfit for our friend's wedding on 4th May. I figure I'll be near goal then, so am going to treat myself for doing this diet and stopping smoking!
Have a FAB day!
xxx
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