Jessica Rabbit72's diary 4/1/10 - 7/2/10 now closed.

[Jessica Rabbit72]

MONDAY 4th JANUARY 2010
Day 1
WEIGHT = 14st 3.2 (eek) CHANGE = 0lbs
MOOD = RARING TO GO!!!

HELLO EVERYONE AND HAPPY NEW YEAR !!!!!!!!!!!!!!

May we all get to our goals and stay slim forever this year.

Have missed you all so much so have been lurking so ......

sunshine - many congratulations on your engagement and cant wait for the wedding piccies

Alex mummy - congratulations on getting to goal and am sure you will be back there very quickly

Curly - fantastic new piccies and brilliant for maintaining these last few months after getting to goal

Lizz MB you look like a different woman and so inspiring

and Katy - I know you have been struggling alot over the last few months and I have really really felt for you. but heres to a new start for both of us getting to goal and maintaining.

If I have missed anyone out Im sorry.

So this is it - my final ever restart! - why is it I say this every time..... but this time it really is. New year, new decade and all that.

I have made myself a plan that I need to lose as much weight as I can in the next 12 weeks and then go up the maintenance plans - PROPERLY this time and keep posting on here regardless of how I feel and hopefully it will keep me on track.

Luckily I havent put all my weight back on I lost so Im starting lighter which helps alot. I know I really get wobbly when Ive been on the diet about 15 - 20 weeks and lose the will to live - but by then I should be virtually at goal so there hopefully wont be the feelings of despair of having so much to lose and having to be on the diet for the next 20 wks!

I also have started back at the gym so Im hoping thats going to help to keep me focused aswell.

Things have been pretty awful here over the last few months hence the reason I havent been posting much - relationship and food wise. I have eaten virtually anything in sight over xmas and TOTM is due soon so hopefully a bit extra will come off at next weeks WI.

I got some supplies of cd a few weeks ago with the view of restarting but only had a few here and there, but Im fully on track today for this restart.

Also where I get my shakes has closed down so I will have to get supplies from another CDC which in a way is sad for the business that has closed, but they werent the best and I got much more support on here so I could get away with alot more on the cheating front.

So I have been on the cd website and got a few phone numbers and am hoping to contact a new cdc later to get the ball rolling for a new start with a new cdc so she can kick me up the bum when I need it!

I am off work at the moment for the next 2 weeks so here will be my 2nd home to keep me on track and I will blinkin need it.
Xxx

 

[alexmummy07]

Hi hun - wishing you all the very very best for you re-start.
You know it works, so I definitely don't need to tell you that bit.

Here for you and behind you all the way xx

 

[Jessica Rabbit72]

thanks it means alot!

Just think if Id blinkin stuck it out I would have been at goal. Unfortunately my head went a bit on it so I couldnt stick to it and as I said things went pear shaped on the relationship front so as usual when in stress I eat, but NO MORE.

have just had first shake and need to go and get some water now - NO MORE DIET COKE FOR ME (sob sob)

Hope you get back down to goal quickly and well done on passing your exams - studying isnt easy at the best of times never mind doing it with a little one and this diet!

xxx

 

[Sunshine Singer]

Hi jess. It's so lovely to have you back. Sorry to hear you've been having a rough time. Today's a new day and we can only go from here. Seems many of us are starting back at the moment. I'm on day 4 of 810 and going through the motions but it's so worth it to see the scales going down. Iloat moatbof my weight the first 2 months last April and faffed about at that weight for months. Now I'm determined to get to goal finally. I'm as motivated now as I was when I started and like you I haven't put all the weight back on so it's a good place to start.

So hey we are going to do this and in 20 weeks when you're having your usual diet wobble I'll remind you how far you've come lol. It's def not easy doing 810 again. We forget how hard it is but as much as I love 1000 it's too easy for me to stray off plan.

Hope julie is doing well. Good luck for today. Life is manic for all of us buts let's make the effort of keeping up to date on here.

Hope rouget a CDC sorted asap. Hugs lovely xxx

 

[curlywurly1234]

Hey Jess.............
Waving madly!!!!! Welcome back hon! So good to see you and sorry to here you have been through a rough time!!! Well now its all going to be good for you as you say new year new decade and all that!!

Heres to a fab 2010 and heres to wearing a bikini in the very near future !!!!!

I am been a bit slack on here the last month or so, so Im back and will be here to support you all the way!!!

Welcome back again hon good to SEE you!!

lotsa love x Marissa x

 

[Katycakes]

Aw... spotting your thread is the first thing today that has really made me smile. SO HAPPY to see you back, but very sorry you have been having a rough time hun. You are right, we CAN do this. My attempt at getting on track today has already fallen flat but I know I can do this, and now there is a real sense of determination about the site and I know that will help. I will be OK. Not gonna panic... have done this before & can do it again.

Big hugs Jess, and a hug for Julie too.

xxx

 

[Julie Williams]

You go girl xxxx

 

[Jessica Rabbit72]

well unfortunately today didnt go 'exactly' to plan in that i didnt ss but I have definitely eaten alot less than the last few months so that is a step in the right direction.

Kids are back to school tomorrow so that will help loads and I will aim to be 100% instead of 95 ish!

Its so nice to see you all still around and we can all do this with our new years determination........

off to see Julie tonight to see how she is keeping and update her on my latest relationship saga and all her gossip.

Will see you all in the morning
xxxx

 

[curlywurly1234]

Hey Jess...
Good on you for getting back into it hon.. even if you were not 100% yesterday you were moving in the right direction......
Have a great day today hon I think getting back to normality when the kids are at school is much easier.
I know I found it so much easier yesterday when i was at work..
xxxx

 

[Jessica Rabbit72]

TUESDAY 5th JANUARY 2010
Day 2
WEIGHT = 14st 2.4 CHANGE = 0.8lbs
MOOD = HAPPY

Well scales showed a lovely 0.8 loss from yesterday which I'm really pleased with. scales are definitely going in the right direction.

We still have quite alot left over from xmas and freezer food and I think that this week Im probably going to do 2 shakes and a meal to help get rid of all the food - but it is relatively healthy so should still have a loss this week. TOTM is due anytime over next few days so that should help aswell. I have fallen in love with my slow cooker again and have been making some lovely warm healthy comfort food in them.

OH is on afternoons next week so should be able to ss quite easily then and get in the 'zone' and we will probably be nearly at the point of the freezer being empty so I can defrost it but also I wont feel bad about throwing food away and wasting it.

Hope you all have a good day today whatever you are all up to. Mine have been hatched and despatched to school and Ive got a lovely mountain of ironing to do - oh joy but will keep coming on here to keep my spirits up as Im feeling a bit fragile at the mo with all the cr*p goin on with OH. I would be very susrprised if we are together this time next year unless things change dramatically, which I cant honestly see happening.
See you all later
xxxx

 

[Jessica Rabbit72]

Hey Jess...
Good on you for getting back into it hon.. even if you were not 100% yesterday you were moving in the right direction......
Have a great day today hon I think getting back to normality when the kids are at school is much easier.
I know I found it so much easier yesterday when i was at work..
xxxx

Im hoping it will be :crazy: xxx

 

[Katycakes]

Hug for Jess. (((Jess)))

xxx

 

[Jessica Rabbit72]

Hug for Jess. (((Jess)))

xxx

thanks
xxx

 

[Sunshine Singer]

How are U doing now? Hugs xxx

 

[curlywurly1234]

Jess,
I hope you and your OH manage to sort things out hon...
Lotsa love & Hugs xx

 

[Bess]

Jess, it's really good to see you back. I love the weight thing you put at the top of each day, especially the comment underneath! Soon be that sexy red Jessica Rabbit atavar you used to have again! xx

 

[Jessica Rabbit72]

How are U doing now? Hugs xxx

lots of hot water, tea and beechams am coming down with a cold I think - typical!
xxx

Jess,
I hope you and your OH manage to sort things out hon...
Lotsa love & Hugs xx

Thanks Marissa - its the age old question really isnt it - how long should you stay with someone for the sake of the children?

after alot of reflecting over the last few months and alot of very good friends listening I have come to my own conclusions that as much as I know he loves me Im not the wife he wants me to be and hes not the husband i want him to be and I think that i got caught up in all the friends getting married and having kids etc and he was the boyfriend of the time who seemed ideal husband and father material.

Unfortunatley here we are 13yrs on and I want so many different things to him and feel like I have to drag him round to my way of thinking all the time and its so draining and Ive lost all my fight.

My mum hit the nail on the head and said I am passive rebellious to get my own way and I think another thing is I dont feel like Im in an equal partnership and everything is always MY fault. I did confess to 33K of debt run up by living expenses on credit cards and loans at the end of october which obviusly hasnt helped, but again he couldnt see how he was partly responsible for it and it will always be blamed on me.

OH GOD I DO NEED THERAPY!

Jess, it's really good to see you back. I love the weight thing you put at the top of each day, especially the comment underneath! Soon be that sexy red Jessica Rabbit atavar you used to have again! xx

thanks:ashamed0005: would be nice to put it back on when Im feeling like that again! Hopefully it wont be too long!
xxx

 

[curlywurly1234]

Awww big hugs hon....... I know alot of people do stay with each other because of the kids as you want your kids to be happy etc.. but you have to be happy to hon as if your not this reflects on the kids anyway...
I hope whatever you decide between you its for the best and the main thing is for you to be happy as we only live once..
Keep your chin up hon... and always here if you want a chat......
xxxxxxxxx

 

[Jessica Rabbit72]

thanks it means alot. I know my parents stayed together for the sake of the kids and we spent all the time expecting them to split. My dad finally left my mum 10yrs ago and they are both now happily married to someone else. So I dont want to spend my life thinking well I should have done it when the kids were little, cos they adapt, but by the same token dont want them to end up messed up because we split up.

It is definitely a work in progress and I wont make any quick or rash decisions as I have to get the rest of the debt on the mortgage (bout 20K) before we split and we have a holiday booked in June so we will see. You never know he may surprise me........... fingers crossed
xxxx

 

[curlywurly1234]

I hope things get sorted Jess.. and as I said you must be happy hon thats the main thing, kids do adapt especially when they are young..
Your right not to make any rash decisions time might sort things out for you both..
xxxxx