Joke thread

[ladyfelsham]

PMSL Vicky, love the last one! That's going to do the rounds of my (female) friends

 

[CeeCee-is-MeMe]

Love those Yorkshire ones! I'll b telling them to anyone that will listen lol.
Ccxx

 

[Spinoza]

Faaaaaaab! Laughing like an idiot here!

 

[CeeCee-is-MeMe]

Two blondes walk into a building... U would think at least one of them would have seen it!

(sorry to all blondes)
Ccxx

 

[Quak]

I'll need to have a little think on this. Jokes are like flashers to me. I see them, laugh and then they're gone

I am just like that - never remember jokes but do love them!

 

[Quak]

A topical (ish) one for you

Heard about the dyslexic devil worshiper? He sold his soul to Santa

 

[Quak]

 

[Quak]

 

[Spinoza]

LOL Bren! An you a dog lover and everything!

 

[Quak]

I have had pussies in my time I will have you know!!!

Here's a brain teaser:

You are sitting in a car travelling at a constant speed.

On your left side the ground drops away and is 3-4 feet below the level you are travelling on, and on your right side is a fire engine travelling at the same speed as you.

In front of you is a galloping horse, which is the same size as your car and you cannot overtake it. Behind you is a galloping zebra.

Both the horse and zebra are also travelling at the same speed as you. What must you do to safely get out of this highly dangerous situation?
If you can't work it out:
For the answer, click and drag your mouse from star to star.

* Get off the merry-go-round you're pissed. *

 

[Spinoza]

I have had pussies in my time I will have you know!!!

Absolutely quote of the century there!

Love that joke too!

 

[Quak]

(it is true btw, tatty puss, snowy, john and harry have been my joy to be owned by lol)

 

[tazbabe]

what's long, brown, and sticky?







a stick!

 

[CeeCee-is-MeMe]

Why was six afraid of seven?

... Because seven eight nine.