Thanks for your comments Cake, AJ and Sukiesue.
Well I've continued to be very busy but taking time out just to update my thread following my psychotherapy session on Wednesday - It really did/does give me a lot to think about.
I found my man through personal recommendation he is called Mark Reader and works out of Pease Pottage in W/Sussex. He is both hypnotherapist and psychotherapist and I've found him really helpful.
The first session was a chat about why I was there, what I wanted to achieve and he asked me loads of questions about my personality type, and I had to rate myself on a scale as he asked me statements about me. It was a chat really.
Then the next session he used the results from the questions and scale of statements I had given to explore the traits of my personality using the "warrior, nomad, settler" personality stuff.
This is taken from a website about it:
Are you embarrassed by sudden desires to speak your mind in inappropriate places, or do you have uncontrollable urges ruthlessly to force your will upon others?
Perhaps you struggle hopelessly, hide your feelings if others take a dislike to you, and can't understand why no one can see the hidden meanings in the world around you? If so, help is at hand: unexplained longings to behave in certain ways are hidden clues to our origins
Try this for an awesome thought
In the split second moment of conception, the two streams of genetic information from your parents, handed on from generation to generation over literally hundreds of millenia, combined in one single cell that was to become you. It ensured that you became a totally unique living record of the lives and ways of your ancestors. And we are not just talking about the way you look - we are talking about your ancestral memories, the complete set of instincts and response patterns that were responsible for the survival of those two genetic streams in the first place. The instincts and response patterns that you were actually born with.
Basically the Warrior part of your brain is the rule setter, the control, the facts and figures part, the right from wrong, the achievement etc.
The Settler is about support, harmony, love, doing what is right for you, the voice of reason.
The Nomad is the flighty, funseeker, flits from thing to thing, bored easily, likes to be centre of attention etc.
We all have bits of each in our psyche.
Mark explained how the three types were split in my case and the particular conflicts that means I have going on in my brain.
I am nomad/warrior dominant which means I have internal conflicts between doing what is right, following rules and saying "to hell with the rules lets have some fun."
It was VERY revealing stuff and I am only giving you a flavour here of a very indepth load of psychoanalysis and I came away from the first session really drained.
In the session this week we developed stuff even further and and looked at why I make the decisions I do using the personality types again and the really great part was the tools he gave me by making my warrior, nomad and settler come alive for me - I had to make them real - give them an appearance, a name, a voice and we used a very relaxed state for me to talk as they would talk when I'm in a given situation. This is where some of the tears came coz I realised WHY I am like I am and WHY I have made certain decisions, done certain things in the past. It was awesome.
He also introduced me to a 4th state - ,my "inner personal advisor" who knows EVERYTHING about me - all my successes, all my failings, all my secrets, all my guilt, happiness etc. It is this "person" who is going to help me most in future and we will develop this in the next session.
The other thing we did which was awesome was he asked me to think back to a year ago and imagine I was "18.5 stone Joolz" sitting in front of him. He asked me 10 things about my life on a score of 1-10 things like happiness, relationships, energy, finance etc.
Then we turned the clock forward to today and "slim Joolz" had to answer the same criteria. He then mapped out my responses on a chart which I now have at home. It very visually shows that my life has become much fuller, that i was living a half life before - and that I should look at it every time i want a reason to not go back to the "black half life" and stay in the "red full life." It blew my mind to see the difference mapped out.
I have some homework to do - and then go back in 2 weeks for what might be the final session.
I hope I haven't rambled, I could go on as there was SO MUCH in a two hour session. It has given me serious thought provoking contemplation and I just know it is going to be very useful in my life. Not just around food, but around all the decisions I make, how I behave, etc etc.
I'm sorry if I've rambled but my brain is just very full of it at the moment. There is a book about Warrior, Settler, nomad I intend to buy. so I now don't just have my LL chatterbox, I have a wariior, nomad and settler sitting on my shoulder!
I was such a cynic before I went to Mark about psychotherapy, but it really has been remarkable. The more tools in my kitbag of life, the better I say.
Take care everyone and will catch up soon.
Joolz x