Jo's diary, a woman walking in Wales
- Thread starter joh2605
- Start date
Yesterday was not a good day, was really down, I've been a student for the past year and still haven't started work yet, I have bills coming out of my ears and all my loans have started to default on me so yesterday I just sat and cried all day.:cry:
I really wanted to go to the shop and but all those unhealthy things that I would have sat and ate if it had been a couple of months ago, but a combination of deep down knowing it was wrong and not having a lot of money (there has to be an upside to being skint) stopped me.
Not sure what I can do about the money situation other than keep taking it day by day, but I'm determined not to let it spoil what I've done with my weight.
My partner has taken a couple of the bills off my hands so that helps a little.
Well on to happier things, it's weigh in day and I lost 1lb, not bad after last weeks three. Haven't done as much exercise this week either so that's ok.
I really wanted to go to the shop and but all those unhealthy things that I would have sat and ate if it had been a couple of months ago, but a combination of deep down knowing it was wrong and not having a lot of money (there has to be an upside to being skint) stopped me.
Not sure what I can do about the money situation other than keep taking it day by day, but I'm determined not to let it spoil what I've done with my weight.
My partner has taken a couple of the bills off my hands so that helps a little.
Well on to happier things, it's weigh in day and I lost 1lb, not bad after last weeks three. Haven't done as much exercise this week either so that's ok.
Felt really rubbish yesterday so all I really ate was a sandwich and fruit, I need to be careful that I don't start doing that too often as otherwise I may not be eating enough.
Had a rest day yesterday due to feeling so rubbish, today I've been swimming with my little sister again, managed 26 lengths today so getting ever closer to our goal of at least 32 a week (half a mile in our local pool).
I've bought a stir fry pack for tea so going to have that with some chicken, something different, can only take so much mashed potato
Had a rest day yesterday due to feeling so rubbish, today I've been swimming with my little sister again, managed 26 lengths today so getting ever closer to our goal of at least 32 a week (half a mile in our local pool).
I've bought a stir fry pack for tea so going to have that with some chicken, something different, can only take so much mashed potato
Thanks minusfour, yeah my clothes definitely do feel looser, maybe more so than the weight I've lost too, which is weird, however this is the first time I've ever tried to lose weight using exercise, so maybe I'm just changing shape??
I've got a dress from Wallis that a friend gave me and it was way way too small, I'm almost into it, I'm hoping that by Christmas it will fit, fingers crossed, cos that's going to be my Christmas dress.
Good news, the agency that I've signed up with may have a shift for me tomorrow, however my references still haven't arrived, despite being sent weeks ago, so I might not be able to do it, so again, fingers crossed everybody. It's only for three hours but it would clear a little bit of my overdraft, that can only be a good thing, and there should be more shifts coming up in this place so I would get the chance of more shifts.
Bit nervous about trying to incorporate the diet into a working life, I've been at home since I started this diet, not sure about all the added temptations working will bring, but must get back into a normal routine someday, and my bank is telling me it must be soon
I've got a dress from Wallis that a friend gave me and it was way way too small, I'm almost into it, I'm hoping that by Christmas it will fit, fingers crossed, cos that's going to be my Christmas dress.
Good news, the agency that I've signed up with may have a shift for me tomorrow, however my references still haven't arrived, despite being sent weeks ago, so I might not be able to do it, so again, fingers crossed everybody. It's only for three hours but it would clear a little bit of my overdraft, that can only be a good thing, and there should be more shifts coming up in this place so I would get the chance of more shifts.
Bit nervous about trying to incorporate the diet into a working life, I've been at home since I started this diet, not sure about all the added temptations working will bring, but must get back into a normal routine someday, and my bank is telling me it must be soon
Well if I thought I was down a couple of days ago nothing in comparison to what I'm feeling now, my partner who I love dearly, has just told me that under no circumstances will he get married or have any more children and due to this thinks it would be better for us to split now.
We've been together for three years and he's willing to throw it all away because he has two failed marriages (both cheated on him).
I told him he was a coward and that he is going to end up alone if he does get over his fear, but I don't think it will be enough, he's gone to see a friend so that he can about it I guess, I'm just waiting for one of my friends to get here (she lives some miles away).
I broke off a long term relationship three years ago, which was hard, but the right thing to do as neither of us loved each other any more, we still speak and there was no hard feelings, this time however, I know we still love each other, I know he loves me, I know it, but he won't let his fear of another failed marriage and losing another child go.
There's nothing more I can do except wait and hope that he comes to the realisation that he loves me more than his fear, however I fear that that won't be enough.
Twice I've had break ups and for the second time I will be the one to start again, I have nothing, except the clothes on my back, a coffee table (Laura Ashley, the only thing I left the first relationship with) and some books, I've done it once, I can do it again.
We've been together for three years and he's willing to throw it all away because he has two failed marriages (both cheated on him).
I told him he was a coward and that he is going to end up alone if he does get over his fear, but I don't think it will be enough, he's gone to see a friend so that he can about it I guess, I'm just waiting for one of my friends to get here (she lives some miles away).
I broke off a long term relationship three years ago, which was hard, but the right thing to do as neither of us loved each other any more, we still speak and there was no hard feelings, this time however, I know we still love each other, I know he loves me, I know it, but he won't let his fear of another failed marriage and losing another child go.
There's nothing more I can do except wait and hope that he comes to the realisation that he loves me more than his fear, however I fear that that won't be enough.
Twice I've had break ups and for the second time I will be the one to start again, I have nothing, except the clothes on my back, a coffee table (Laura Ashley, the only thing I left the first relationship with) and some books, I've done it once, I can do it again.
Well something I said must have got through, it still isn't solved the issue not by a long shot, he still feels that at this time he can not see himself ever getting married or having children again, however, he has been depressed due to not being in work (which thankfully he is again now), and has had to go to court for both sets of children in the past 18 months, and he has been hounded by the CSA for money that he didn't owe, we spoke and said that we would give ourselves two years.
This will allow life to get back to normal, for things with his children to calm down and for him to get back on a settled financial setting which will hopefully help to settle the depression.
Then we can both make a more informed choice about what to do for the future.
It will allow me to get to a healthier weight (hopefully my target weight by then), as at this point in time, it would be dangerous for me to even consider having children.
I love my partner and don't want to give up on the best relationship I've ever had for the wrong reasons.
Back to my weight issue, I am really proud of myself, instead of heading straight for the chocolate when things got tough this weekend, I headed for the fruit, and it's my TOTM too, a time when I have always in the past headed for the chocolate.
I'm going to have something to eat now and then I'm off for a walk.
This will allow life to get back to normal, for things with his children to calm down and for him to get back on a settled financial setting which will hopefully help to settle the depression.
Then we can both make a more informed choice about what to do for the future.
It will allow me to get to a healthier weight (hopefully my target weight by then), as at this point in time, it would be dangerous for me to even consider having children.
I love my partner and don't want to give up on the best relationship I've ever had for the wrong reasons.
Back to my weight issue, I am really proud of myself, instead of heading straight for the chocolate when things got tough this weekend, I headed for the fruit, and it's my TOTM too, a time when I have always in the past headed for the chocolate.
I'm going to have something to eat now and then I'm off for a walk.
I've just managed to put a profile picture up of myself, but in the interest of full disclosure should probably say that I was 4 stone lighter here, after being on LL, unfortunately, I have put all that weight back on plus, in fact, I am now, one pound lighter than I was when I started lighter life, how mad is that. Lol
Thanks Minusfour.
Well lets hope the battered burger and chips I had last night doesn't cause it all to go back on. I hadn't eaten all day and my partner pleaded with me to go to the chippie cos he hadn't had chips for so long and I just didn't have it in me to say no.
On the flip side that is all I had to eat all day and I only managed half the burger and a handful of chips so hopefully won't have done too much damage.
I've done 40 mins on the Just Dance today for the Wii, going swimming tomorrow.
Definitely having something healthy for tea tonight
Well lets hope the battered burger and chips I had last night doesn't cause it all to go back on. I hadn't eaten all day and my partner pleaded with me to go to the chippie cos he hadn't had chips for so long and I just didn't have it in me to say no.
On the flip side that is all I had to eat all day and I only managed half the burger and a handful of chips so hopefully won't have done too much damage.
I've done 40 mins on the Just Dance today for the Wii, going swimming tomorrow.
Definitely having something healthy for tea tonight
Pink!
Silver Member
Wow, well done that's a lot of swimming!
You seem to be doing amazingly well, especially seeing what you've been going through at home, well done!
And dont worry about the burger. everyone needs a treat every now and then or we'd go mental. Do try not to starve yourself all day though.
Best wishes
You seem to be doing amazingly well, especially seeing what you've been going through at home, well done!
And dont worry about the burger. everyone needs a treat every now and then or we'd go mental. Do try not to starve yourself all day though.
Best wishes
Thanks Pink I'll try not to.
It's really hard, if I eat anything at all bad for me I'm then really really concious that I don't want to make it any worse. I think that maybe I need to relax just a little bit.
Really worried that after such a big weight loss last week that I'll have put on this week, don't know why but it's terrifying me.
Diets don't normally go well for me and this one in one way seems to have been almost a little too easy and I'm just waiting for it all to go wrong.
I feel like I've already let the exercise slip, I need to make sure that I'm still going for regular walks, didn't go anywhere this weekend, my partners little boy was sick so we stuck to the house, but I feel like maybe I should have gone out anyway.
I don't know why but I'm just a bag of nerves over everything for some reason, I just feel really down, not having work is definitely stressing me out, but the idea of going back to work after so long is also making me really scarred.
What if I can't do this and work, I know that people do it every day, but I'm not sure what the change in my routine will do to my will power.
My OH had some sweets that he bought for the kids on the weekend (big bag of pic n mix) he grabbed them earlier and was going to eat them in the lounge, I had to tell him not to eat them in front of me because my will power was just not strong enough to resist them tonight, I ended up after he went to bed grabbing a small tin of fruit salad in fruit juice. I had to have something sweet and although it was late at least it wasn't sweets.
My weigh in day is Wednesday but I'm really considering weighing tomorrow, it might calm me down if I at least knew that I haven't put anything on, and I need to weigh in next week on a Tuesday due to a doctors appointment so it would at least then give me a full week ready to go and see the doc.
It's really hard, if I eat anything at all bad for me I'm then really really concious that I don't want to make it any worse. I think that maybe I need to relax just a little bit.
Really worried that after such a big weight loss last week that I'll have put on this week, don't know why but it's terrifying me.
Diets don't normally go well for me and this one in one way seems to have been almost a little too easy and I'm just waiting for it all to go wrong.
I feel like I've already let the exercise slip, I need to make sure that I'm still going for regular walks, didn't go anywhere this weekend, my partners little boy was sick so we stuck to the house, but I feel like maybe I should have gone out anyway.
I don't know why but I'm just a bag of nerves over everything for some reason, I just feel really down, not having work is definitely stressing me out, but the idea of going back to work after so long is also making me really scarred.
What if I can't do this and work, I know that people do it every day, but I'm not sure what the change in my routine will do to my will power.
My OH had some sweets that he bought for the kids on the weekend (big bag of pic n mix) he grabbed them earlier and was going to eat them in the lounge, I had to tell him not to eat them in front of me because my will power was just not strong enough to resist them tonight, I ended up after he went to bed grabbing a small tin of fruit salad in fruit juice. I had to have something sweet and although it was late at least it wasn't sweets.
My weigh in day is Wednesday but I'm really considering weighing tomorrow, it might calm me down if I at least knew that I haven't put anything on, and I need to weigh in next week on a Tuesday due to a doctors appointment so it would at least then give me a full week ready to go and see the doc.
Well I didn't do too bad this week, figured out that somewhere along the line I couldn't count and that I'd actually only lost 19 lbs however this week I lost 2lbs so I've hit the one and half lbs.
That's my next target hit so I need to kick myself up the rear and not beat myself up so much.
The sun is shinning today so I plan on going out for a walk as soon as a delivery arrives for my OH, it's already half past one so I'm hoping it won't be too much longer before it arrives.
That's my next target hit so I need to kick myself up the rear and not beat myself up so much.
The sun is shinning today so I plan on going out for a walk as soon as a delivery arrives for my OH, it's already half past one so I'm hoping it won't be too much longer before it arrives.
downsizingmycurves
Silver Member
Well I didn't do too bad this week, figured out that somewhere along the line I couldn't count and that I'd actually only lost 19 lbs however this week I lost 2lbs so I've hit the one and half lbs.
That's my next target hit so I need to kick myself up the rear and not beat myself up so much.
The sun is shinning today so I plan on going out for a walk as soon as a delivery arrives for my OH, it's already half past one so I'm hoping it won't be too much longer before it arrives.
Hey Jo, I think you mean you've hit the 1.5 stone (not lbs). Goodness, dont undersell yourself!
Briliant loss so far, well done!
Yay all my references are back for my new job (only agency work so nothing concrete) but I have my first shift on Sunday, I can't wait til I actually have money in the bank again, it will be so cool.
Going swimming this afternoon with my little sister, looking forward to that
Going swimming this afternoon with my little sister, looking forward to that
