Jo's diary, a woman walking in Wales

[joh2605]

I've been reading all the diaries on here and they're all so inspirational that I've decided that I need to start keeping my own.

I want to be able to look back and see what I've done that's worked, and also that hasn't.

I'm going to start it I guess with a bit of history of how I ended up being 275lbs.

I was actually a skinny teenager, then when I was about 18 I went on to the contraceptive injection (boy was that a mistake). I put on 3 or 4 stone in a matter of months. Now this was bad enough but I also passed my driving test, now living in north Wales I used to walk everywhere (cos there was no choice) suddenly I was free to go where ever I wanted and drive there too.

After that I guess I just got lazy, then I put more and more weight on until I suddenly realised that I was no longer able to do the things I used to do.

I have severe asthma and I get out of breath just walking up the stairs. That statement is shameful for someone of 30 yrs to say, but it's true.

I end up in hospital at least a couple of times a year being admitted due to this and after ending up in hospital yet again a couple of weeks ago this has got to STOP!!!

So I went to see my doctor and asked for help, after talking to her have decided to watch what I'm eating and exercise.

I'm proud to say that I am now walking 2.4 miles a day and have done so now every day for 7 days (still at the start of my journey I know).

Yesterday was probably the hardest, it was chucking it down, now as I have already said I live in North Wales, it rains here, a lot, so it's just something that I'm going to have to get used to, but it was miserable.

I start every walk with telling myself that every step is a step closer to a healthier fitter me, and that every walk is a minute that I don't have to spend in A&E struggling to breath.

In the past while dieting I have always focused on what I couldn't have, well every one of those diets failed, so this time I'm focusing on what I can have, the ability to run up the stairs, not having to go into hospital, feeling fit and well, not dying at an early age due to extra pressure that I'm putting my body under.

And one last important one, I'm 30 super morbidly obese, and I have no children, I think that it's important to give children the best start in life and all the research says that you should aim to be within normal weight range before trying to conceive, so my ultimate goal, get down to a BMI of under 25 and have a baby, if I can't do it for me then I can at least do it for the child that in my heart I have always wanted.

I would really appreciate any support here, wish me luck, it's going to be a very long road, but one that's worth every step.:devilangel:

 

[Lynn_]

Joh, I think its wonderful when someone reaches that mental state that allows them to take charge of their lives. Your story is very moving and im sure many people can recognise themselves in it too. It may not be asthma for everyone, but being overweight puts us all under severe health issues, for me its diabetes.

You are being very brave is taking these steps but i can see the hope and optimism in your post. I want you to do so well and reach your goals, especially the one where you will one day have the child you so long for.

I wish you all the best for your journey and the wonderful outcome that will one day be yours.

 

[joh2605]

Thank you Lynn that means a lot.

Today for some reason just has not been a good day. I've been for my walk but for some reason it was just really really hard today.

My OH bought me some new trainers yesterday, now we have been really strapped for cash since he was laid off last year and he's only just got a new job so we're still struggling, so the trainers he bought for me were a wonderful gift but they are really cheap and I don't think they give my legs any support, I was in pain by the end of the walk and I'm not sure if this was due to the fact that the trainers have no support or if it's just due to the fact that I have now walked everyday for 8 days.

I don't want it to get any harder than it already was, I need motivation to keep going, and one of the things that was motivating me was everyone's promise that it would get easier.

Is it worth asking my Mum if she would borrow me the money to buy some decent trainers or should I just keep going with the ones I've got??

Well I'm going to make some tea now, Lamb with mashed potato, carrots, broccoli, sweet potato and parsnip.
Yum

 

[Lynn_]

That was so sweet of your hubby to buy you the trainers, but poor quality trainers are not good for what you need them for, you need the support of good quality ones. Wear hubbys around the house and tell him how lovely they are, and ask your mum for the money for some decent ones!

 

[Beasty]

Joh I think it's such a big step you have that mental attitude towards your weight loss, well done I can completely relate to how you use to view weight loss in comparison to the way you view it now. I do believe it is completely mental, just keep telling yourself what every little thing you do helps towards your goals, what benefits they'll have, it is a true motivator

When I started I also began off with walking and I found the quality of the trainers do have quite an impact, so if you can I would definitely recommended asking your mum for the money for a better pair

Very well done to the start of your journey and I wish you the best of luck, I will definitely keep on reading your diary

 

[joh2605]

Thanks guys, yeah I'm going to ask my mum tomorrow. Keeping my fingers crossed that she says yes.

I've also asked my other half to set up the Wii fit for me, we've had it for absolutely ages and it's doing no one any good sitting down besides a cabinet hiding.

For now I'm just going to keep on using my old trainers, they're Asics and pretty good quality, unfortunately they're also really old and my nose would appreciate getting rid of them ASAP lol.

 

[joh2605]

Oh not doing well today.

Couldn't slepp last night which resulted in me still being awake this morning when my OH had to get up for work (5.30am poor *******).

This resulted in my not getting up til about 1.30pm. Then instead of having muesli which I normally do I had a bacon buttie (I hope it was worth it) and I still haven't been out for a walk yet today.

To top it all off I then had two meringue nest with (a small) amount of ice cream. On the plus side had I not been on this health kick (I hate the word diet) I would have had a lot of ice cream and it probably wouldn't have stopped there, so maybe I am changing

I'm hoping that by writing this here it will kick my butt into gear and I'm going to ask my OH if he will go for a walk with me later tonight.

I'm getting bored of walking the same route every day so I'll ask if we can go a bit further afield, it will mean going in the car in order to go for a walk but hey, the world will just have to forgive my carbon footprint.

I'm going to put tea on now, chicken with mash and veg. I noticed over the weekend that as I hadn't had veg for a couple of days that I really missed it, that's a good sign, right??

 

[joh2605]

Ohhh I'm really proud of myself for being able to add a ticker and goals, little thing please little people.

 

[joh2605]

Well some good news and some bad news. Bad news first, I STS:sigh: although I wasn't great yesterday I didn't think that I'd been that naughty.

Could have been worse, which leads me to my good news, which will hopefully lead on to good news next week, my Mum has agreed to loan me the money for some new trainers, yippee.

So I now need to be exercising every day. No more excuses. With that said I'm going swimming later so looking forward to that, I'm going with my little sister who is a size 10 and it's nice to say that I can swim at least as well as her even though she is skinny.

Then when I get back later I am going to attempt to set up the Wii fit, I've asked my OH but could be waiting til Christmas for him to do it, he's really really busy in work so he's not here all that much any more.

I'm also going to have to watch what I eat a bit closer too. When I can afford it I think I will rejoin a WW class but I simply can't afford the weekly weigh in at the moment, SW has a class in my village but I get confused with SW so don't know which would be better for me.

Although there does seem to be a lot of people on here that have had success with SW so maybe I'll give it a go.

 

[joh2605]

Well I've been swimming now, and even better I got to go shopping for new trainers, I do love shopping.

Bought myself another pair of Asics as the last pair were so comfy, the guy in the shop said that they're a good pair for walking, and that they will be good for jogging too if I ever get that far, jogging still seems a bit advanced just yet, I can dream though.

Went to my friends earlier for coffee but she had made lunch, Chicken pie (with batter instead of pastry, imagine a cross between pie and toad in the hole but with chicken) which I had with salad, when the others had seconds I had more salad, very well behaved, and then she brought me out the biggest piece of chocolate cake (home made) and I just couldn't resist.

So that means I need to be good for the rest of the day, will just have something light for tea, although that risks me then being hungry later on, which for me is lethal. Maybe just have an early night.

 

[Pink!]

Prynhawn da Jo! How's it going?
You seem to be doing really well! Walking is totally the way to start, that's what I did and it's amazing how much better you feel for it! Good call on getting the new shoes!
You're only short like me, what size feet are you? I'm a 5 which is awesome coz I can still buy kids shoes, which is liek sooo much cheaper, I got some asics for like 30quid. Awesome times.
DOn't worry about the STS, everyone has weeks like that, where you work your butt off and nothing happens, but no fear, it'll happen, probably all in one big go too.

HOpe that everything goes really well for you hun!

 

[joh2605]

Thanks Pink, and Nos Da to you. I'm a size six and can't get away with the kids sizes but did manage to get a pair of Asics for only £31.99, so not too bad.

Had some ups and downs this week. Friday I had a migraine all day so for the first time didn't go out for my walk, however I did a total of at least 3.5 miles on Thursday so don't feel too bad about it.

I'm really praying that I lose something this week, I'm weighing a day early (so tuesday) cos I've got to go and see my doctor, she wants to review the antidepressants that she put me on and review my weight.

She has offered me some slimming tablets, I really don't know whether to take them or not, on one hand I have heard that they can make you really poorly, but on the other hand I've heard that as long as you control what you are eating that they should be ok, I do think that maybe it would make me think twice about everything that I am putting in my mouth and that it will force me to learn how much fat is in things and to think before I eat.

My partner has his children every weekend, and while I know that he can't refuse to allow the children treats while they are here I don't see why they can't be healthy ones.

Came down yesterday to his daughter telling me that they were going to make "LOAD AND LOADS AND LOADS" of cakes, I know that he was planning to make at least three varieties as he had already got the stuff out in the kitchen.
I said to him that maybe he could just make a few so that we didn't get left with them, so he made a large Victoria sponge which looked fab and white chocolate nests with mini eggs in (mini eggs being one of my favourites).

I forgave him a little when he said that the large cake was going to his cousins as she was sick, I can resist a cake til it's cut, however he brought more than a quarter of it home with him.
This was now torture, I had already resisted the nests (I didn't even have one, and I sent them home with the children so that I can't have one) and now I had to resist a cake that looked fab, smelt great and was already cut.

I was not happy, after me telling him that I had had to try really really hard to resist the cake and that I was finding it hard he then went and got a piece (thankfully the last piece as the children and him had already had some after tea) and sat eating it in the lounge while we were watching tv. ARGH what part of this is really hard did he not understand, and then said to me that he was only getting rid of it so I wouldn't be tempted tomorrow, urgh, could he not of just eaten it in the kitchen, would it of killed him.

However rant over, to finish on a happier note (so that I don't go to bed angry) I went out and bought the Just Dance game for the Wii today, I'm really excited about trying it tomorrow, and will let everyone know how it goes, I really hope that I enjoy it, I want at least one part of my exercise routine to feel like fun rather than work.

 

[joh2605]

I was late for college this morning and couldn't find my black pants so decided to try on a pair that I had put aside to go in the attic as they were well too small and guess what??? THEY FIT!!!!!!!! YIPPEEEEE

Now that is a good feeling, I only put them aside to go in the attic a couple of months ago so I guess that that is definite proof that the diet is working.

 

[Lynn_]

Its a wonderful feeling isnt it? and guess what, when the clothes you are desperately dieting into are then too big, it gets even better!

When i was 17st 5lb, i had a pair of stone color jeans from M&S that i bought many years ago in a sale and never wore. I dug them out in May and showed them to hubby, I told him that i would wear them one day. Well i did wear them, once i think. Ill never wear them again, because now they wouldnt even stay up lol

 

[joh2605]

Well I lost 1lb this week, it's in the right direction and I've just been to see my doctor who told me that she would like to see my weight loss be slow so that I'm less likely to put it back on, that makes sense I guess so I'm happy with that.

Every lb is a lb closer to goal hey.

 

[joh2605]

Well normally I would only ever weigh once in a week but as I had a doctors appointment yesterday I had weighed a day early so I broke my own rule and weighed in again this morning (my real weigh in day).

I miraculously lost 2lbs overnight, I don't know how, I don't care how, I've now lost a full stone and that's my first Goal DONE

I've just had a home made fruit salad for lunch, I have apples and Pears ripe in the garden and it seemed stupid to waste them so I bought some oranges and grapes from the shop and it tastes fab.

I was so used to buying sweets that I forgot how good fruit could be, I had promised myself that once a week or so that I would have something considered unhealthy so yesterday I bought myself a spots and stripes bar (I kept seeing them on the telly and hadn't tried one yet), do you know what, I enjoyed the fruit more, I found the chocolate too sweet, and it left an after taste that I had never noticed before.

Hopefully my taste buds will change and resisting sweet things will just get easier

Did my swim yesterday, managed 22 lengths, so slight improvement on last week, but they took forever, I was up on the Wii playing on Just Dance until 1 o'clock the previous night and my body was aching making it harder to swim, not swimming now until next friday so I think I will have a rest next thursday.

 

[joh2605]

Just a quick update, I just went on my 2.5 mile walk and for the first time did it all in one go with no stopping, I managed it in just under 1 hr, not bad considering the first time I did it less than a month ago I did it in 1 hr 40 mins.

It's finally getting easier, yay, although once it gets easy I will be upping it so that it's hard again, that is not such a good thought lol.

 

[joh2605]

OK after doing really well on wednesday things seem to have gone to pot slightly.

Haven't done any exercise since, so will have to go on Just dance later if hope to get any exercise done, plus had full bottle of Rose wine to myself last night, hmmm probably not a good idea, however food wise things still on track so not as bad as it could be I guess.

 

[joh2605]

What a bargin, I just managed to buy a reebok step from a charity shop for £3.99

Just looked on Amazon and a new one (including the DVD which I don't have) was £59.99, to buy the DVD from Amazon is just £2

Now I've just got to actually use the thing.

 

[joh2605]

Well after being lazy for a couple of days (food kept ok though so damage limitation) yesterday decided to go on the Just dance for the Wii. Good god I thought I was going to die at one point, I am not as fit as I had hoped after a month, my arms felt like they were going to fall off.

I managed 40 mins and did ten minutes of a walking routine I found on you tube. My partner suggested a walk yesterday evening and I just groaned.

However today was a different day so I decided to put on my trainers and I went to a local park for my walk today, it was beautiful out in North Wales today (quite a rare occurrence) so decided to make the most of it. The park is really good and they have mapped out routes that you follow and they have determined exactly how many calories you burn off taking into consideration your weight, the terrain and the length of the walk. I used more than 311 calories, not bad going I guess. I say more cos they go up in stones for the calculations but only as far as 17st and I'm over 18st so therefore making it harder.

No swimming tomorrow, I'm going on Friday instead. I have got to get some college work done this week, my course was meant to finish in July but only one person so far out of our entire class has completed the work, we've been given a years extension but I really want to try to finish by Christmas if I can. Fingers crossed.