Julz journey to a thinner me! :)

[eatlikeabird]

Hi Julz, Hope you are well. I just noticed on your ticker that you are under BMI 30...Congratulations!:talk017:

 

[Clarabow]

Have a great holiday, you deserve it. No matter what choices you make on holiday, know that it is fixable on your return xx

 

[Catthin]

Hi Julz
Hope all is well with you.
Have a great holiday in your size 10s go girl go.
Cathy

 

[Catthin]

Hi Julz
Welcome back ,hope you had a great time.
Bet you felt great in you new slim body.
Cathy

 

[Julz]

Thanks ladies, I had a good time, some challenges around the girls I went with, comments etc, but overall had a good time. Have come back chilled.......till Monday and work looms again. Had lots of time to think about things, work, LL etc and have made a few decisions, which I hope will be for the best outcomes for me.
I will update again tomorrow afternoon after WI.
Jx

 

[Spanglymum]

Sounds like it was a bit of a mixed experience. Very interested to hear what your decisions are - you can't leave us dangling like this!!

 

[Clarabow]

Exciting times, changes are afoot it seems x

 

[Julz]

4lbs off, Well, that wasn't so bad, I lost 4lbs over the last 4 weeks, considering my 2 weeks holiday in Spain, it is better than I thought it would be. I ate on holiday, should have been LLL, but went off the rails on a few days, when my behaviour became brat like, nothing like child like behaviour. Devil may care attitude, came in waves, and my brain really did know what I was doing, but carried on anyway. I walked away, used distraction etc, but it did not work. Self destruction mode, mmmmmmmm??

Mainly when I was peed off with the girls I was holidaying with, comments about LL, my weight, how much I was eating, how I look ok and should stop now, it went on and on and on, no escape. Tried very hard to put the CBT into practice, some days it worked, others not. Why would I do that?? I am an adult, responsible for my own actions..................

So I took myself off to the beach on my own for a few days, which helped. Went off shopping for a couple of days as well, just sauntering around which I did enjoy, and that helped my mental state, managed to get a breather.

Don't get me wrong. the girls who are friends care about me, I know that, but they don't seem to understand my point of view. I have had many conversations with them, but to no avail.:wave_cry: In the end I just avoided conversations around food, LL, my goal weight etc, it would have been good for me to be able to talk openly and frankly to them, but hey ho, time to move on!

Still enjoying getting into smaller clothes, size 10/12 tops and 12/14 bottoms, would like to be an even 10 top and bottom if I can, don't want to look 'too thin'. I have been checking out what other ladies of my age group look like ( not in a perverted way!) and what they are wearing, some of them look far too skinny, and I am beginning to see what looks good and what looks not so good. Have been watching Gok for ideas, whereas before I used to just buy clothes that I could get on, now I am seeing a shape emerging, so it is all very exciting and positive.

On holiday I had lots of time to listen to some personal improvement audio books and Louise Hay, which I enjoyed and feel stronger and have some clarity and confidence in my abilities, some of which I found quite inspirational as well.

RTM changes
Found out today from my LLC that the RTM is being phased out and a new 'Management' course is being brought in from 1 November, it will be 8-24 weeks long, depending on how long you need. Not sure if anyone else has been told this? Well, I am so skint, I am hoping to manage to keep on LLT until I start, which I have now reviewed. Originally I had planned to start on 1 October, but I still need to lose another 24lbs -/+ so will defer until 1 November.

Spanglymum, sorry to tease you with my decisions, nothing earth shattering. I had a long time on holiday to think about my job, and how to get a new one, with the state of the economy it is a risk, but the decision I have come to is that I will get a new job, soon! My intention is to be able to resign by end of December this year. I am working on a strategy to be able to do that, one of the issues I have is my current role does not 'fit' into other organisations, so I need to adapt and make a decision as to what I want to do going forward. I currently am doing 3 jobs at work, so feel I am jack of all trades and master of none. Others seem to be able to get new jobs, surely there will be one for me :wave_cry:

2nd decision, I am currently in negative equity with my house, and I really want to move closer to my family who are about 3-5 hours drive away, so I need to increase my income (new job), decrease my outgoings ( finish LL) and pay off as much as I can, as quickly as I can so I can move.

3rd decision, fed up being single, so going to join a couple of dating websites (OMG) on 1 October. Have not dated for far too many years, and actually not really sure where to start. My girlfriends are either married/with partners or not interested in meeting someone, so it will be a solo event for me!

LLC asked me today to take part in a survey for LL and ketosis readings, so I have been given a pot of sticks and a chart to record what packs I have, how much water, flavourings, broth etc I use for 7 days, anyone else doing this???

Went swimming today to the hydro pool which felt good, and I will restart my exercise program properly tomorrow.

Feel I have got lots of my chest tonight, sorry if its not very interesting!

Hope everyone has a good week
Jx

 

[eatlikeabird]

Hi Julz, People around you will put in their 2 pence, but only you can decide your goal and the weight you are happy with.
I actually had a friend tell me I shouldn't lose anymore weight cause I will get wrinkly, give me a break, I'm 15 stone and size 20. What was she thinking?? I may get a few wrinkles at goal, I'm 50, but that's for me to decide what I'm happy with.
Glad you did have R&R also and time to think. Good to have you back on here.

 

[slendablenda]

Hi Julz,
You've got a lot going on and plans too. Good for you. I also found that doing all gave me a sense of control and helped me decide to make changes in other aspects of my life.
Good luck with yours.

 

[Clarabow]

Wow Jules,
That holiday did you good lovely ! Lots of constructive thinking done and plans laid. Interesting the flack you got about LL, its a funny old diet in terms of responses. Had a lot of similar stuff off my manager who blamed it for me being ill ! In fact the spotty egg syndrome was due to a nasty viral infection.

Interesting response to the eating situation. I think we can get a bit hung up in the famine and feast thing when on LL if we are having "holidays" from the plan, which makes measured eating a bit difficult. I am trying very hard not to panic around food and eat everything in sight just because I can. Managing fairly well with this so far, and also getting fuller quicker as I am more mindful of what I am eating. You obviously made some pretty reasonable choices to come out without a gain. So be proud of yourself for that.

Some great planning around the life changes, dating, work and house. Makes me think that time and time again we come back to the problem being not about food but about changing our lives so that food is less needed as a comfort and a consolation prize. Work situation is the same for me, the have not agreed my secondment the BAS***DS! But moves are affoot so I am holding on in there. With regards to your skill set I would say that you aren't a jack of all trades but a very useful worker who has a plethora of skills that would benefit any post. Pull out what you have been multi tasking at and use that to demonstrate how you would be an asset to any new post you are looking at. For example :-- In my present post I am required to manage x, y and z tasks. This has enabled me to prioritise my work load, work flexibly and creatively to meet competing agenda's of the role. Sorry if I am teaching my mother to suck eggs lol
What audio books were they .. listening to some in my car on my ride into work so could do with some recommendations.

No advice on plan. Wiser heads than mine need to chip in on that for you, but keep at it till you are in a place where you are comfortable and ready for the next step.

Thinking of you, thanks for the lovely post in my diary by the way x

 

[Julz]

Hi Julz, People around you will put in their 2 pence, but only you can decide your goal and the weight you are happy with.
I actually had a friend tell me I shouldn't lose anymore weight cause I will get wrinkly, give me a break, I'm 15 stone and size 20. What was she thinking?? I may get a few wrinkles at goal, I'm 50, but that's for me to decide what I'm happy with.
Glad you did have R&R also and time to think. Good to have you back on here.

Hi eatlikeabird, I do seem to have lots of tuppence's coming my way! To me its a bit sad really, that people give their opinions too easily on stuff they know nothing about. I may have been guilty of it previously, so I guess LL has opened my mind a little more.
It is crazy I agree, I have had several comments over the last 2 days saying stop etc from different people who don't know I am on LL, I will stop, when I feel right, don't want to get to look gaunt, I'm 53 so it would look horrible, if I went too far, but I am still over 11 st, so some way to go yet.
I had a massage the day before my holiday, and explained as I got their that I had lost weight, a bit embarrassed really, that my tummy has got lots of lose skin etc, despite exercising, when I got on the bed, she said she was surprised how good my stomach looked! It was a surprise to say the least
Hols were good really, time to chill out, I do feel refreshed.
Thanks for the welcome back.
Jx

 

[Catthin]

Hi Julz
great to hear you managed your weight well wilst off plan you obviously made good choices.
Sounds like you life is about to change with job hunting and dating. I hope you enjoy it all.
I started the new RTM last week.the fist week you still have four packs plus a protein and salad meal.This week it is only three packs and dairy allowance plus more choice of protein foods and vegetables.You choose yourself when you are ready to move on to the next week.I am enjoying cooking again and tasting food again.
Take care and good luck with your new adventures.
Cathy

 

[Julz]

Hi Julz,
You've got a lot going on and plans too. Good for you. I also found that doing all gave me a sense of control and helped me decide to make changes in other aspects of my life.
Good luck with yours.

Thanks SB, I am a planner, it seems to make it clearer for me in my head, if that makes sense. But sometimes ............. at the last minute yesterday I enrolled on a fabric/sewing class at the local college, despite being skint, I decided I wanted to do something creative for me, so its a 10 week course and we are making a skirt each. I explained to the tutor about LL, which felt odd talking about it openly (? felt good), she said to make the skirt in my current size then she will show me and we will make the alterations nearer to finishing, which is great. I bought a sewing machine last year with the intention of doing more sewing, and turning up trousers which always are too long in a size 22 etc, well of course, now I can buy off the shelf and they are the right length! But anyway it was a lovely class and I enjoyed the social side of it. Even if the tutor said ......... don;t lose any more weight you are just right! Grrrrrrrrrrrr. hey ho.

I agree with the control theme, I am more in control, which is just great, hope you are well and the treatment is not too much for you. Thinking of you

Jx

 

[Julz]

Wow Jules,
That holiday did you good lovely ! Lots of constructive thinking done and plans laid. Interesting the flack you got about LL, its a funny old diet in terms of responses. Had a lot of similar stuff off my manager who blamed it for me being ill ! In fact the spotty egg syndrome was due to a nasty viral infection.

Interesting response to the eating situation. I think we can get a bit hung up in the famine and feast thing when on LL if we are having "holidays" from the plan, which makes measured eating a bit difficult. I am trying very hard not to panic around food and eat everything in sight just because I can. Managing fairly well with this so far, and also getting fuller quicker as I am more mindful of what I am eating. You obviously made some pretty reasonable choices to come out without a gain. So be proud of yourself for that.

Some great planning around the life changes, dating, work and house. Makes me think that time and time again we come back to the problem being not about food but about changing our lives so that food is less needed as a comfort and a consolation prize. Work situation is the same for me, the have not agreed my secondment the BAS***DS! But moves are affoot so I am holding on in there. With regards to your skill set I would say that you aren't a jack of all trades but a very useful worker who has a plethora of skills that would benefit any post. Pull out what you have been multi tasking at and use that to demonstrate how you would be an asset to any new post you are looking at. For example :-- In my present post I am required to manage x, y and z tasks. This has enabled me to prioritise my work load, work flexibly and creatively to meet competing agenda's of the role. Sorry if I am teaching my mother to suck eggs lol
What audio books were they .. listening to some in my car on my ride into work so could do with some recommendations.

No advice on plan. Wiser heads than mine need to chip in on that for you, but keep at it till you are in a place where you are comfortable and ready for the next step.

Thinking of you, thanks for the lovely post in my diary by the way x

Hey honey, thanks for that, it really is a strange world we live in, as far as other people's opinions go. You are quite right, again! I am almost putting myself down as a jack of all trades, I spoke to one of our clients today who is an HR manager and is looking for a new role, we had an open conversation and it helped to put things into perspective for me, which was great.
My confidence over the years has been knocked quite badly and for a couple of years I was quite badly bullied by a stupid manager, who no longer works for us. The consequences on my sanity and brain were really deep and I still have some of those feelings around. Found out that this manager is coming back to work for us, not in the same office, but back with us none the less, he totally disrespected my and would not follow procedures, to the extent of breaking the law on some occasions which I did not like or accept. He just laughed it off. I told the General Manager ( new to post but aware of the situation) that I will not have anything to do with this person if he is allowed to come back, I think he took it on board but not sure. This bully came into the office about 6 month ago, walked to the other end of the office and started talking loudly about me so that everyone could hear, they had not worked with him before and wondered what was going on. I just walked out.
I had reported it to one boss at the time, nothing was done. The other boss was on long term sick and on her return said, oh if only I had known................ well I still have the emails, if there is any issue, I will raise a grievance, I am not tolerating it again!

The audio books were by Anthony Robins Unlimited Power Steven Covey, First things First, Charles Faulkner Neuro linguistic Programming. Some a little American, but the positive messages are good.

Take care and hope you are getting on ok with all the munching stuff going on!
Jx

 

[Julz]

Hi Julz
great to hear you managed your weight well wilst off plan you obviously made good choices.
Sounds like you life is about to change with job hunting and dating. I hope you enjoy it all.
I started the new RTM last week.the fist week you still have four packs plus a protein and salad meal.This week it is only three packs and dairy allowance plus more choice of protein foods and vegetables.You choose yourself when you are ready to move on to the next week.I am enjoying cooking again and tasting food again.
Take care and good luck with your new adventures.
Cathy

Hi Cathy, thanks for that, I was thinking of you last night, I just started a college course on dressmaking!!
Thanks for the info on RTM, my LLC was really vague. Also mentioned that you need to be at your final weight when you start, which I thought I had read before that you should be 7lbs or so below as you gain about that during the RTM? When I mentioned that she said ' where did you get that from, it's not right, was it a forum?' I said it could have been............. She thinks the forums are all rubbish and bad influences, tried to explain to her but she was not having it, so that is the last time I mention Minimins!
Glad you enjoyed cooking again, I enjoyed the eating despite the hiccups, and am looking forward to the reintroduction of food. Hope I can start around 1 November, if not sooner............

Take care

Jx

 

[Julz]

It's Tuesday night................ where is the ketosis fairy????? I'm starving :wave_cry: Off to bed now:sigh:

 

[Spanglymum]

Just saw your post re the bully and had to share that I know totally what that feels like and sympathise. I used to think 'is it me?' because everyone else seemed to be oblivious. Turned out everyone else knew what he was like but tolerated it. It's only now I've moved to another company and don't have him around me that I realise how badly he affected me and my life. It's v early in the morning so I won't go into all the details but wanted to know you're not alone in encountering this.

 

[Clarabow]

I had a bad day work wise yesterday as well, it is bullying but soo subtle you do wonder "hell is it me ?" It really knocks your confidence. I have my appraisal this morning with said manager. Needless to say not looking forward to it. Last year the most positive thing she said was that I survived the year ! Ah well ... I'm not the one that dropped 5 pay grades in job evaluation ! SO THERE ! Petty I know.

Onwards and downwards.

ps Jules I always thought you lost a little more in route to management ? and that it was after that there was a little gain of glycogen ?

 

[Julz]

Just saw your post re the bully and had to share that I know totally what that feels like and sympathise. I used to think 'is it me?' because everyone else seemed to be oblivious. Turned out everyone else knew what he was like but tolerated it. It's only now I've moved to another company and don't have him around me that I realise how badly he affected me and my life. It's v early in the morning so I won't go into all the details but wanted to know you're not alone in encountering this.

Thanks spanglymum, it's really sad that it goes on and others appear oblivious to it, when really they don't speak up for whatever reason, it was only me on the receiving end because I stood up to him.
It went on for quite a while, he tried to make me look incompetent while I was on holiday a couple of years ago, luckily my client of all people saw threw him and backed me.
Jx