Ok well having read everybody's diaries I am inspired to start my own - mainly because today I'm really struggling and I desperately want to get back on track.
I have 2 and a half stone that I want to lose - I know this is not a huge amount compared to others but my main goal is to stop everyday being a battle with food, to find a weight which my body 'wants' to be at, and to stick to it, knowing that I feel good about myself.
I, as many of you undoubtedly have, have struggled with weight/self esteem issues since forever! Starting when I came home from school at aged 8 to tell my mum I was fat and I no longer wanted to take crisps and chocolate bars to school - I was definitely not fat! Just a normal sized 8 year old girl.
I wished I'd never looked into calories or fat or known what that was before I was 10. But unfortunately I did, and it has led to years of yo yo dieting, going up and down and up and down, one minute being obsessed with sticking to a certain number of calories a day, exercising obsessively and being thoroughly miserable and other times being so obsessed with food itself that I'd just eat and eat and eat for weeks on end, piling on pounds and pretending I didn't care - when again, I was also thoroughly miserable.
I finally have come to the conclusion that I don't want to wake up every morning to a battle of food, to looking in the mirror and feeling guilty and miserable.
I want to enjoy food, I want to be able to have a portion of cheesecake and not feel guilty or it to lead to overeating for days, I want to have that slice of cheesecake when I'm hungry, not when I'm stuffed but feel I 'need' it. I will never need cheesecake again - I will just want it when I'm hungry.
So here goes! My last EVER 'diet'. I want to be normal (ish)
I have 2 and a half stone that I want to lose - I know this is not a huge amount compared to others but my main goal is to stop everyday being a battle with food, to find a weight which my body 'wants' to be at, and to stick to it, knowing that I feel good about myself.
I, as many of you undoubtedly have, have struggled with weight/self esteem issues since forever! Starting when I came home from school at aged 8 to tell my mum I was fat and I no longer wanted to take crisps and chocolate bars to school - I was definitely not fat! Just a normal sized 8 year old girl.
I wished I'd never looked into calories or fat or known what that was before I was 10. But unfortunately I did, and it has led to years of yo yo dieting, going up and down and up and down, one minute being obsessed with sticking to a certain number of calories a day, exercising obsessively and being thoroughly miserable and other times being so obsessed with food itself that I'd just eat and eat and eat for weeks on end, piling on pounds and pretending I didn't care - when again, I was also thoroughly miserable.
I finally have come to the conclusion that I don't want to wake up every morning to a battle of food, to looking in the mirror and feeling guilty and miserable.
I want to enjoy food, I want to be able to have a portion of cheesecake and not feel guilty or it to lead to overeating for days, I want to have that slice of cheesecake when I'm hungry, not when I'm stuffed but feel I 'need' it. I will never need cheesecake again - I will just want it when I'm hungry.
So here goes! My last EVER 'diet'. I want to be normal (ish)