KDs Earlier Maintenance Diary

Warning!! Misery guts is updating her diary.

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I really had a massive breakthough Vicky. The gallstone attack did that...certainly stopped me in my tracks. Unfortunately I'm getting a bit nervous to eat at all now.:eek:

Worried too about Christmas, as I love all the unhealthy stuff, and annoyed that nearly every Christmas has been upset but something healthwise. This year was going to be different.

I really wanted to eat to my hearts content all the bad stuff. Does that sound awful? I don't know. We don't have family, and eldest son has asked if we mind if he spends the day at work.

Christmas is always a bit of a downer. The only thing that makes it special is the food. Now I'm scared that anything unhealthy is going to set off another attack. Thing is...it could do...it might not. Who's to tell.

Popped into school this morning to do some work. I've officially finished teaching there, but don't finish the other two jobs until Wednesday.

Then I went to do some Christmas shopping. Thought I better get something done incase teeth/gallbladder/braindeath or anything else happens between now and then.

Took ages to find a parking space. Ended up parking too far away. I'm usually happy to walk, but today I still feel a bit delicate. Still...needs to be done.

Picked up a load of stuff. Went to the till and couldn't for the life of me remember what my pin number was:confused:

Had to put it all back and come home. What a first class twit.

I have it written down somewhere special where I won't lose it. You know that special place, that you know you'll not forget about? Okay....I've forgotten about it. No idea where it is, so shopping is possibly out for today.

Really just want to DVD and duvet.

Start work at 4:00 today, so might try again before then if the number suddenly flashes in front of my eyes.

Living off baked apples and dried weetabix as it's not making the pain worse. Must get something sensible in me. Feeling weak, but just can't be bothered to prepare anything.

And on a positive note: My swollen hampster face is certainly ironing out the wrinkles. It's definitely taken 10 years off me. Who needs facelifts eh :D
 
Did ya find the pin no????????????

Im sure it was just a blip with the gallstones, and also stands in good stead to remember all good things in moderation, not like the arm full of ritz crackers I just ate :(
 
Im waiting!!!!!!!!!!!!!
 
So far:

18 boxes of chocolates
24 bottles of red wine
1 bottle of white wine (thank goodness someone listened when I told them I didn't like red wine!)
4 bottles of bubble bath
3 bags of room smelly stuff
4 pot plants
5 bunches of flowers
2 mugs (best teacher
Proud.gif
) :D
2 chocolate Santa and a packet of chocolate coins
1 packet of condoms:eek: (standing joke with one of my senior boys :D)

Think that's it so far.
 
OMG, you must be one well liked teacher!!!!!!!!!

so erm, what you gonna do with it????
 
:D I give them a list at the beginning of term ;)

The red wine goes to the various homes (McMillan unit, old folks home). The choccies get given to friends, my own kids and their friends. I keep some red wine for cooking and some choccies, toiletries for myself :)

Not sure what to do with the condoms :D
 
Well, most of it's yummy ;)

Does seem awful giving away most of the pressies, but I always appreciate the thought:cool:

They really are such great kids. Okay...some take a bit longer to love ;)
 
Blimey, guv!!! They really love you, don't they!!!

How very sweet!

Okay. To be fair. As I'm a music teacher and teach in a couple of schools, as well as at home privately, I do teach loads of kids. It's only a small portion that buy pressies. Besides...they only love me for my boomwhackers which I call my "weapons of mass distruction". The title appeals to them for some reason.

They also like my leather jackets. Tell me that means "I'm cool":confused:
 
Oh my goodness. Phew. Big, waffly story coming up...warning!!

Sunday: Start Christmas shopping. This is early for me, but I’m a bit scared that gallstones, teeth problems might return, so think it’s wise to get everything ready ahead of time.

Go to town centre and start shopping. Fall in love with a jacket that’s in the wrong size:( I love jackets like many love handbags. I really wanted this jacket. Get back in car and go to next shopping centre. Still in the wrong size. Repeat ad exhaustous. Still can’t get the ruddy jacket…that I must have now!

So I spend the whole day searching shops and doing little Christmas shopping. Decide that I really must go home as I’m shattered (think there’s still a wee dram of morphine in my system from that hospital visit:rolleyes:). So I give up on the jacket :(

I just couldn’t wait to get home and have a coffee. Put my feet up for a while and recover. The journey seemed so long. All the traffic lights on red…you know the feeling?

Just as I come through the front door, eldest son is there to greet me. It seems that “The Cousins” are arriving in 30 minutes!!

OMG!! They can’t!

Eldest doesn’t understand. Why the panic? But the house……….??? “don’t worry…they’ve come to see you….not the house”

Oh come on. Eldest has lived with us for 19 years. He must know. He has to. He can’t have missed that.:confused: The Cousins don’t come to see me, well not in the way he’s thinking.

Think Aggie from “How Clean is Your House”. Okay…perhaps not…fur trimmed gloves too tacky. Think “Trinny and Susannah”. Think Upstairs, Downstairs, Hudson. Think royalty. Got it? And they are visiting in 30 minutes???:eek:

Needs quick thinking. What to do next. Okay a quick mental list.

1. Move. No..will take too long.
2. Redecorate. Well, it’s taken me 7 years to chose a colour for the living room walls, can’t see me decorating in 30 minutes.

Need a plan B. Yes..this is much more doable.

Take spare duvet covers from ironing basket.
Replace all other items that have tumbled out
Open end of duvet cover and start filling.
Empty house into duvet covers.
Leave sofa, television, filter coffee machine, 3 unchipped unstained cups. Pack away everything else for the perfect minimalistic look.

Place filled duvet covers behind bush in garden.
Return to house and close kitchen blinds so contents of house cannot been seen from window. Be ready to explain that “blinds are shut so as not to fade the pattern on the best china”

What best china? It doesn’t matter what best china! Who’s to know it’s up in the loft.

Spray furniture polish in air and flick around with feather duster.

Turn on robotic vacuum and set off coffee machine (giving it a quick wipe and shine first).

Perfect.

Damn…kids are still around. Wonder if I can get them in the duvet cover. Everything must be perfect. Kids aren’t perfect. Of course, The Cousins kids (Cousins are older than me) were perfect when they were younger. I do remember them being anything but perfect myself. I remember their 3 boys smoking in the ladies loos , when they were about 14 and I’ll never forget them putting my teddy down that loo and flushing it.

Seems I’m the only one who remembers that. Strange.

Suggest my boys amuse themselves in next Borough.

Boys on the other hand are walking around asking where the computer has gone :D

Oh my goodness!! I’m not a size 10!! Oh no! I forgot. Maybe if I put on something huge and tell them that I’ve got so small, I can’t get clothes to fit me. Wonder if they’ll fall for that?

Never mind. Other things to do. Cut fringe and quickly use thinning shears on top of mop. Doorbell rings. Answer the door with my best speaking voice. It’s a friend

Friend: Oh my god…you look dreadful.
Me: Thanks
Friend: Get yourself off to bed now.
Me: Can’t….The Cousins are coming.
Friend: Oh no! Not The Cousins! They can’t come!

(See…she knows…how come eldest son doesn’t?)

Friend: Go to bed. I’ll phone them…tell them they can’t come. You’re not well enough.
Me: They’ve got to come….I’ve emptied the house. It’ll all be in vain.
BigCry.gif

Friend comes in and tells me to sit down while she makes me a coffee. Then she has to leave as her children are alone.

Doorbells rings again. The Cousins. They can’t stop. Just popping around as they haven’t seen me for a year and wanted to check I was still alive.

They didn’t even come in!:eek:
 
OMG, you are soo funny, :D :D are you sure you don't teach English, you should write a book, your brilliant the way you describe everything, I laughing my head of at your "Cousins",,I do things like that when family come to visit, duvet full of stuff behind bush in the garden tops anything I've ever tried though so well done.

:) :) :) :) :) Caz
 
Oh Karion all that for nothing.

Well leave everything in the duvet till after Christmas and then you're prepared for any other unexpected guests.

We always have to have a mad tidy-up when anyone comes, my daughter thinks this is the norm and you only tidy up when people come -oooops.
 
Karion you are such a star, you make everything sound so much fun!!!!
 
Wow Karion
that was soo funny to read - obv not for you tho!

I'm just having a bit of a tidy now, stopped for a break and came on here... got loads of clothes to fold - wonder if I can find a duvet cover!! :p
 
I'm a sorry state aren't I:rolleyes:

And if you are thinking "oh well...least things couldn't get worse", I can assure you they did:rolleyes:

Oh...the evening :( Please don't let that evening happen again. Please pray for me;)
 
You cant leave it like that :).................

Come on tell auntie cani all!!!!!!!!!!
 
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