Kez's struggles and troubles! 17th June Restart!
- Thread starter cornishkez
- Start date
franbella21
minimims stalker
hows everything hunny? lets keep on track together! lost 3lbs this week want that again next week! im planning a break on sat as am going out do u plan a break atall?
cornishkez
Gold Member
Hey Fran, I was planning a break on Sunday as going to watcha band with some friends. Bit of a girlire night, but I've eaten an easter egg and a creme egg today, so my break was today! Back on it tomoz.
Eternalflame
Excited about the new me!
Hi Kez..
Well done on your loss with SW, thats a great loss too. Hoping all is well and enjoy your Easter. xx
Well done on your loss with SW, thats a great loss too. Hoping all is well and enjoy your Easter. xx
franbella21
minimims stalker
helllo 
my break was a disaster!! ate on sat but by sun i had the dreaded tummy bug my kiddies have had so have been in bed since lol well at least ive hopefully lost what i would have put on lol, hope your enjoying your easter hunny
my break was a disaster!! ate on sat but by sun i had the dreaded tummy bug my kiddies have had so have been in bed since lol well at least ive hopefully lost what i would have put on lol, hope your enjoying your easter hunny
cornishkez
Gold Member
Hello everyone, welcome to a very long overdue entry to my diary!
I've been reading other peoples, but not posting and am pleased to see how well people are doing. Am quite jealous really! But it is only my own lack of motivation and self control that has hindered my weight loss.
So, a quick bit of history....I came off CD and went onto SW and in week 1 of SW lost 5.5lbs. Then there was easter and I haven't been on the wagon since then. I haven't been to any SW classes, even though I paid for 12 weeks upfront. I have missed 2 weigh in's now.
I 'think' I have put on around 7-8lbs. So I guess this isn't undoable, but it does mean I need to find some kind of headzone again.
If I hadn't signed up for SW for 12 weeks, then I think I would be considering going straight back onto CD. The money side of CD is a real issue though, we have so much we need to pay out for this month. My summer saturday job is covering most of it, so not really anything left for the luxury of CD. I do have a weeks worth of sachets left over from before, so I am wondering whether to do a weeks CD to boost me back into weight loss...not so sure thats good for my body though?
On a plus note, I have bought my wedding dress! I had to buy it early as the dress that is 'The One' is a 2009 season dress and when I went onto their website recently it had gone on sale. Eeek! So I had to buy it before they discontinued it to make way for 2010 season stock!
I have bought it in a size 14/16. I am currently a 22, so I really need to get my arse moving if I want to fit into it!
I am definately back into my old ways. Eating crap food and fizzy drinks. Not even really enjoying on them, just enjoying the feeling of giving into the binge. Have completely lost my way, but am desperately clawing onto the success I have had so far. The only good thing is, that the weight I have lost has allowed me to fit into last years clothes comfortably again which makes me feel better. I was starting to become glaring aware of how bad I looked squidged into them. I have gone from a 24 to a 22, which is my 'normal' size.
Anyway, I'm sure I will have much more to post. I just wanted to break the ice and re-post again. x
I've been reading other peoples, but not posting and am pleased to see how well people are doing. Am quite jealous really! But it is only my own lack of motivation and self control that has hindered my weight loss.
So, a quick bit of history....I came off CD and went onto SW and in week 1 of SW lost 5.5lbs. Then there was easter and I haven't been on the wagon since then. I haven't been to any SW classes, even though I paid for 12 weeks upfront. I have missed 2 weigh in's now.
I 'think' I have put on around 7-8lbs. So I guess this isn't undoable, but it does mean I need to find some kind of headzone again.
If I hadn't signed up for SW for 12 weeks, then I think I would be considering going straight back onto CD. The money side of CD is a real issue though, we have so much we need to pay out for this month. My summer saturday job is covering most of it, so not really anything left for the luxury of CD. I do have a weeks worth of sachets left over from before, so I am wondering whether to do a weeks CD to boost me back into weight loss...not so sure thats good for my body though?
On a plus note, I have bought my wedding dress! I had to buy it early as the dress that is 'The One' is a 2009 season dress and when I went onto their website recently it had gone on sale. Eeek! So I had to buy it before they discontinued it to make way for 2010 season stock!
I have bought it in a size 14/16. I am currently a 22, so I really need to get my arse moving if I want to fit into it!
I am definately back into my old ways. Eating crap food and fizzy drinks. Not even really enjoying on them, just enjoying the feeling of giving into the binge. Have completely lost my way, but am desperately clawing onto the success I have had so far. The only good thing is, that the weight I have lost has allowed me to fit into last years clothes comfortably again which makes me feel better. I was starting to become glaring aware of how bad I looked squidged into them. I have gone from a 24 to a 22, which is my 'normal' size.
Anyway, I'm sure I will have much more to post. I just wanted to break the ice and re-post again. x
Hey Kez - welcome back. If you read my last post you'll see that I too have fallen off the wagon. My masterplan got lost for a couple of weeks there!
I've climbed back on and heading forwards again. Don't hide please - we can all do this if we support each other. Well done for re-posting and being honest.
I've climbed back on and heading forwards again. Don't hide please - we can all do this if we support each other. Well done for re-posting and being honest.
cornishkez
Gold Member
I am going to post up a reply I have just posted on another diary, which is a bit dark and deep, but I think it is something worth mentioning for me to reflect back on....
cornishkez
Gold Member
As a teenager I was very unhappy and suffered with depression. However, my symptoms weren't moping about in bed etc. Mine came out as anxiety and severe paranoya. I was raped at 15 and after that became very self distructive, desperate for love and affection, but from all the wrong people, so allowed myself to be used by a string of partners. Eventually, it all got to much and I attempted to overdose twice.
Although I have this all under control now, in stressful times I can feel my thought beginning to become a little bit unrealistic and I start having awful nightmares. I think to a degree, it will always be with me. It is easy to look back now and access what went wrong and when, but at the time it a terrible place to be in.
Anyway, the point of me revealing that was that when I finally started to turn my life around, I met my fiance and I started to gain weight. I have no idea how much, but I remember being a size 16 and I am now a size 24. I too can take or leave the bedroom action. It is very rare that I instigate anything, even rarer that my partner does as I know that my insecurities turn him off. I honestly dont think that 'I' turn him off, just my lack of self confidence.
I remember losing about 3 stone, 3ish years ago and I found as the weight came off I become more confident and more relaxed with myself and my body. The 'bedroom action' improved, but as the weight came back on it died down again.
I had always thought that my low self confidence was due to my being overweight, but you've put a completely different perspective on things? When I was slim I was confident, outgoing and popular, but secretly incredibly insecure and troubled. I am now shy and reserved, but secure and content. Maybe in the back of my mind somewhere I am self sabotaging myself in order to hold onto my new secure life (even thought my weight makes me incredibly unhappy).
Oh the mind is a complexed thing isn't it?! lol
Although I have this all under control now, in stressful times I can feel my thought beginning to become a little bit unrealistic and I start having awful nightmares. I think to a degree, it will always be with me. It is easy to look back now and access what went wrong and when, but at the time it a terrible place to be in.
Anyway, the point of me revealing that was that when I finally started to turn my life around, I met my fiance and I started to gain weight. I have no idea how much, but I remember being a size 16 and I am now a size 24. I too can take or leave the bedroom action. It is very rare that I instigate anything, even rarer that my partner does as I know that my insecurities turn him off. I honestly dont think that 'I' turn him off, just my lack of self confidence.
I remember losing about 3 stone, 3ish years ago and I found as the weight came off I become more confident and more relaxed with myself and my body. The 'bedroom action' improved, but as the weight came back on it died down again.
I had always thought that my low self confidence was due to my being overweight, but you've put a completely different perspective on things? When I was slim I was confident, outgoing and popular, but secretly incredibly insecure and troubled. I am now shy and reserved, but secure and content. Maybe in the back of my mind somewhere I am self sabotaging myself in order to hold onto my new secure life (even thought my weight makes me incredibly unhappy).
Oh the mind is a complexed thing isn't it?! lol
cornishkez
Gold Member
Well I think I am finally up to date with all my subscribed threads..lol! Lots of postings to read up on. I am thinking that I would love to restart CD, but realistically I just can't afford it. Amongst other things, I have a wedding to pay for, debts to clear and my poor horsey is underweight as we have no grass, so have had to increase his feed intake costing £70 a month. Also, we are paying to have our fields reseeded, so we have nice lush grass again, but at a price of about £350. Still, my horse being a healthy weight is more important than me being a healthy weight. He can't help himself out, I can.
I probably have enough shakes at home to do a couple of weeks on 2 shakes a day and a meal?! But maintaning that would cost £26 a week. Which for the minute even that isn't financially practical. Hoo humm! Sigh!
Never mind, I doing the same old, same old. Looking for a miracle cure, when I should just be tackling my will power...or lack of it!
It's been beautiful in Cornwall this last week. The sun makes everything seem so much more positive doesn't it? I've been working hard on our garden. We've been in the house for 8 months now and the garden looks like it hasn't been touched for years. I am slowly uncovering really pretty borders and rockaries. Just have years worth of brambles and stinging nettle beds to get rid of first! Oh and started putting food out for the birdies, even though there weren't any! Any now I have hundreds, no idea what type of birds they are, but its been so nice sitting in the garden in the morning with the cat on the table and the dogs belting around playing and these little birds everywhere singing. I feel like a proper little Mrs Doolittle! heehee
I probably have enough shakes at home to do a couple of weeks on 2 shakes a day and a meal?! But maintaning that would cost £26 a week. Which for the minute even that isn't financially practical. Hoo humm! Sigh!
Never mind, I doing the same old, same old. Looking for a miracle cure, when I should just be tackling my will power...or lack of it!
It's been beautiful in Cornwall this last week. The sun makes everything seem so much more positive doesn't it? I've been working hard on our garden. We've been in the house for 8 months now and the garden looks like it hasn't been touched for years. I am slowly uncovering really pretty borders and rockaries. Just have years worth of brambles and stinging nettle beds to get rid of first! Oh and started putting food out for the birdies, even though there weren't any! Any now I have hundreds, no idea what type of birds they are, but its been so nice sitting in the garden in the morning with the cat on the table and the dogs belting around playing and these little birds everywhere singing. I feel like a proper little Mrs Doolittle! heehee
franbella21
minimims stalker
kez, am soo glad your back hunni i missed you!! your very brave for posting what you did and hope it helps you get back into whatever diet your doing.
personally id do a week of cd, yes its hell but would really kick start your weight loss then go back to sw as this means you wont have to pay for any classes for at least a few weeks?
soo glad your ok and back to nag me ha ha x
personally id do a week of cd, yes its hell but would really kick start your weight loss then go back to sw as this means you wont have to pay for any classes for at least a few weeks?
soo glad your ok and back to nag me ha ha x
cornishkez
Gold Member
Hello Ladies, yes I am fine thankyou. I left my laptop at work on Friday and my partners laptop is so slow, I just couldn't face the effort of logging it on!
Had a lovely, but hectic weekend. Worked my Saturday shift at the chalets cleaning, was a very long day! Me and the woman I pair up with cleaned 7 chalets to everyone else's 4. Last week we did 6 to everyone else's 3. It would be great if we were paid by the chalet, but we aren't, we are paid by the hour. So we're working twice as hard for our money. Mugs I think!
The had to go and pick up the OH's nephew as they asked to come stay at our house for the night. Luckily we back onto a John Fowler holiday camp, so we took the boys round there and they played crazy golf, football and then when it got dark we took them into the clubhouse to the disco. I let them stay up as late as they wanted as I knew the later they were up the later they would wake up It worked, I got a lie in till 8am.
Sunday was a beautiful day, I got through all my washing, cleaned right through the house (got a sunburnt face) and had a long soak in the bath before bed.
So, that was my weekend. But down to the nitty gritty, I've ummed and ahhed all weekend about what to do. I know that there is no way I can afford to go back onto CD full time. Even with just two shakes a day and a meal, thats £25-£30 a week. I didn't have as many sachets in the cupboard as I thought I had, I've only got 14, but that's enough to do a week of SS+. So this morning, it was a glass of water to wash down my empty bowl of cereal...lol!
Not quite sure how this little week is going to go, but will hopefully give me a boost back into weight loss. Then next week I will have to rethink what I am going to do?!!
I weighed this morning and the scales were showing 248.8lbs, so I dont think my weight gain has been as bad as I thought.
Had a lovely, but hectic weekend. Worked my Saturday shift at the chalets cleaning, was a very long day! Me and the woman I pair up with cleaned 7 chalets to everyone else's 4. Last week we did 6 to everyone else's 3. It would be great if we were paid by the chalet, but we aren't, we are paid by the hour. So we're working twice as hard for our money. Mugs I think!
The had to go and pick up the OH's nephew as they asked to come stay at our house for the night. Luckily we back onto a John Fowler holiday camp, so we took the boys round there and they played crazy golf, football and then when it got dark we took them into the clubhouse to the disco. I let them stay up as late as they wanted as I knew the later they were up the later they would wake up
It worked, I got a lie in till 8am.Sunday was a beautiful day, I got through all my washing, cleaned right through the house (got a sunburnt face) and had a long soak in the bath before bed.
So, that was my weekend. But down to the nitty gritty, I've ummed and ahhed all weekend about what to do. I know that there is no way I can afford to go back onto CD full time. Even with just two shakes a day and a meal, thats £25-£30 a week. I didn't have as many sachets in the cupboard as I thought I had, I've only got 14, but that's enough to do a week of SS+. So this morning, it was a glass of water to wash down my empty bowl of cereal...lol!
Not quite sure how this little week is going to go, but will hopefully give me a boost back into weight loss. Then next week I will have to rethink what I am going to do?!!
I weighed this morning and the scales were showing 248.8lbs, so I dont think my weight gain has been as bad as I thought.
cornishkez
Gold Member
Oops, don't think my maths is as good as it used to be!
So starting weight was 263.2lbs and todays weigh in was 248.8lbs, that 14.4lbs lose. But my lose had gone up to 24.5lbs, so really it's a 10lb gain.
Never mind though, I'm back on it which is what matters. I'm gain very quickly, but luckily I seem to lose very quickly as well (when I put my mind to it).
There is no reason why I can't get those 10lbs off this week. Only thing that might stop me is it's TOTM on friday, so I'll have to double up the old water intake to make sure I don't retain!
Hope everyone has got positive heads on and here's to a good week! x
So starting weight was 263.2lbs and todays weigh in was 248.8lbs, that 14.4lbs lose. But my lose had gone up to 24.5lbs, so really it's a 10lb gain.
Never mind though, I'm back on it which is what matters. I'm gain very quickly, but luckily I seem to lose very quickly as well (when I put my mind to it).
There is no reason why I can't get those 10lbs off this week. Only thing that might stop me is it's TOTM on friday, so I'll have to double up the old water intake to make sure I don't retain!
Hope everyone has got positive heads on and here's to a good week! x
cornishkez
Gold Member
Oh no, epic fail already! I made the mistake of going to Tesco at lunchtime while I was feeling very hungry....I went with the intention of getting some lettuce and cucumber to go with my chicken tonight. Then decided to buy a pack of quorn meat to nibble on, but they didn't have any so I bought some Bernard Matthews turkey ham as it only has 9 grams of carbs for the whole big pack. Then picked upa sandwich, which I am so mad with myself for, cause I didn't want it. Even as I was buying it, my head was saying you don't want that. Then as I ate it, I was thinking I don't want this! Then after I had eaten the sandwich and most of the pack of ham, my sister offered me a white chocolate cookie. I'm such a failure!
I HAVE to sort myself out and work out how to break this bingeing circle. Was even talking to someone at work about hynotherapy. In ever other aspect of my life I am controlled and have plenty of will power, so what is my problem with food?
I HAVE to sort myself out and work out how to break this bingeing circle. Was even talking to someone at work about hynotherapy. In ever other aspect of my life I am controlled and have plenty of will power, so what is my problem with food?
