Kim's diary of being a new mum

Wow that sounds pretty scary hun but glad all is ok. She is so perfect and beautiful and I too love that blanket! Bet your families are so pleased and excited :) xxx
 
That must have been scary for you!! Poor little thing, being all mucusy too. It's fab waking up to see their little faces. And what a gorgeous little face she has!!!xx
 
Well this little monkey certainly didn't want this birth to be an easy experience. Yesterday they checked her jaundice levels and she's now got to be treated so has her billiblanket on....shes my little glowbug! She's very sleepy and not very interested in feeding so they are giving her what I can express and topping up with a cup feed of formula. I've been very emotional feeling like I've failed her by not giving her enough fluid. :(
Im so tired I haven't slept for more than 2hrs since friday night. And now we are feeding or trying to feed, giving expressed milk, expressing and waiting for them to cup feed every 3hrs. This equals no sleep in the near future!

Trying my hardest to stand my ground but they want to bottle feed the top ups and as she's not breastfeeding I don't want her to have a bottle. Its so hard as she doesn't feel like she's mine.

This really is the hardest job in the world but the best at the same time.

Hope you girls are all ok xxx
 
Kim26 said:
Well this little monkey certainly didn't want this birth to be an easy experience. Yesterday they checked her jaundice levels and she's now got to be treated so has her billiblanket on....shes my little glowbug! She's very sleepy and not very interested in feeding so they are giving her what I can express and topping up with a cup feed of formula. I've been very emotional feeling like I've failed her by not giving her enough fluid. :(
Im so tired I haven't slept for more than 2hrs since friday night. And now we are feeding or trying to feed, giving expressed milk, expressing and waiting for them to cup feed every 3hrs. This equals no sleep in the near future!

Trying my hardest to stand my ground but they want to bottle feed the top ups and as she's not breastfeeding I don't want her to have a bottle. Its so hard as she doesn't feel like she's mine.

This really is the hardest job in the world but the best at the same time.

Hope you girls are all ok xxx
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Oh hunnie.. You have not failed her in the slightest.. Hopefully your milk comes in in the next day r 2 n u'll be able express a little more... Don't forget.. Your little bundle came early and it not like you can just press a button and reprogram your body... Big hugs to you hunnie.. xxx
 
Kim26 said:
Well this little monkey certainly didn't want this birth to be an easy experience. Yesterday they checked her jaundice levels and she's now got to be treated so has her billiblanket on....shes my little glowbug! She's very sleepy and not very interested in feeding so they are giving her what I can express and topping up with a cup feed of formula. I've been very emotional feeling like I've failed her by not giving her enough fluid. :( Im so tired I haven't slept for more than 2hrs since friday night. And now we are feeding or trying to feed, giving expressed milk, expressing and waiting for them to cup feed every 3hrs. This equals no sleep in the near future! Trying my hardest to stand my ground but they want to bottle feed the top ups and as she's not breastfeeding I don't want her to have a bottle. Its so hard as she doesn't feel like she's mine. This really is the hardest job in the world but the best at the same time. Hope you girls are all ok xxx
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Oh hun, you've not failed her at all! Have they been helping you with breastfeeding at all, it's hard to get them latched on to start with - especially with a baby that isn't supposed to be here yet. I struggled with Seth and he born was a day after his due date! Your milk won't be in yet so please don't feel bad or put any extra pressure on yourself. I found that Seth only got interested in food after a few days, he was too sleepy when he was born and for a couple of days afterwards so hopefully once your milk comes in proper she'll be a bit more interests in feeding. It will get easier, just hold on to that. Massive hugs for you both xxx
 
Try not to worry, with the jaundice baby will be very sleepy anyway. Just let them give plenty of fluid to flush it from her system. She'll be more alert then and the latch impulse will kick in. Giving a bottle at her age shouldn't affect the latch too muc.

p.s - both mine were jaundice and treated xx
 
Well yesterday was an incredibly emotional day (day 3 blues apparently) I pretty much sobbed the entire day. Little Rebecca wasn't responding to the billiblanket so she now has to have double light therapy.... her billiblanket under her and overhead lights too. The hardest thing is I can't cuddle her until she feeds :( which makes me cry as I can't comfort her when she wants comfort apart from stroking her little head or holding her finger. This is just so so hard.

I've had to admit defeat for the moment and she's on as much expressed milk as I can produce plus formula top up given by bottle as she just won't latch on.

Had a complete meltdown in front of the paediatrician yesterday as I watched them take more blood from her tiny little hands.

I just want to take my baby home :(:(:(
 
Kim26 said:
Well yesterday was an incredibly emotional day (day 3 blues apparently) I pretty much sobbed the entire day. Little Rebecca wasn't responding to the billiblanket so she now has to have double light therapy.... her billiblanket under her and overhead lights too. The hardest thing is I can't cuddle her until she feeds :( which makes me cry as I can't comfort her when she wants comfort apart from stroking her little head or holding her finger. This is just so so hard. I've had to admit defeat for the moment and she's on as much expressed milk as I can produce plus formula top up given by bottle as she just won't latch on. Had a complete meltdown in front of the paediatrician yesterday as I watched them take more blood from her tiny little hands. I just want to take my baby home :(:(:(
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Kim that must be so hard. Poor Rebecca and poor you!! It's horrible watching then poke and prod at your baby, especially when they're crying. Have they given you any idea as to when you might be able to take her home?x
 
Oh honey, I'm so so sorry you're having to go through this. Must be incredibly tough especially when all you want to do is comfort your little girl. :( I hope you get to take her home soon.

You are doing so well hun, please don't ever doubt that. As difficult as things are at the moment, remember that your hormones are also everywhere, and you are sleep deprived so please don't beat yourself up. You are a fantastic mummy already and Rebecca knows that. :)

I just want to give you a big hug and tell you everything is going to be ok. What have the doctors said? Do they know when this might be over and you can take your girly home?

Lots of love and hugs hun xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
 
Sorry to hear that your having a hard time - you have a lovely wee girl :)

There is a type of hold called a cross body hold for breast feeding .. Added a u tube video link ..

Also just remember your 1st liquid from your breast is going to be colostrum and your milk will take upto 4 days for it to come in... Babies use a supply and demand for the milk supply .. So the more she drinks the more u have .. And the more u express the more u have next time.

There are lots of different holds for breast feeding :) this one works well with reluctant feeders :) also u need to make sure the whole (or most of) breast area around the nipple is in her mouth.. Not just the nipple.. If it hurts when she's latched on, she latched on wrong.. so insert your finger in her mouth to remove her and try again :)

http://youtu.be/pVWOSpwA79E

I have got to boys who I breast feed for 14 months and we are trying again at the moment .. Just ask if u want any more info :)
 
Sorry to hear that your having a rough time Hun must be horrible feeling so helpless but your doing a fab job and these things just can't be helped so don't feel bad.
Just you being there and holding her hand and stroking her head is all she needs to know that her mummy is there!
I hope you have a better day today and little Rebecca responds well to the double light therapy . Try and stay positive .. It won't be long til you can take her home and then I know she will get spoilt with all the cuddles and love in the world!
Xx
 
Oh Kim, that must be awful to watch :( Poor little sweetheart, is she doing ok other than the jaundice? And so tough for you, day 3 is hard enough to negotiate without having to deal with what you are. I really hope you can have her home soon! And there is definitely hope that you'll still be able to bf if you want to as well once she's feeling better! It's all about what's best for you and Rebecca though - I know I keep saying this but don't put too much pressure on yourself to do anything, it's all about you and your little lady being happy. Massive hugs xxx
 
Ah hunnie.. Just wana come and give you a big hug...
Must be awful not being able to pick her up n snuggle n her n make her all better.. But you are doing a fantastic job as you are and it'll be no time before you get to take her home and cuddle her for hours on end :) xxxx
 
Thanks girls to make things worse they told me she could have the double light therapy in the room with me at 4am then at 8am they told me she had to go to special care :(

So my room is empty and I hate it. I can go and sit with her any time but I can't cuddle her and it's not the same with nurses watching etc.

Everyone says sleep between feeds but I just seem to get back to my room and sob because she's not with me. I'm trying to express between feeds but it's so hard. I just don't know what to do for the best.

The good news is her bilirubin levels have stopped going up so hopefully the next test will show them coming down.

No one has mentioned the words going home and I don't know if I want to know. I've been in hospital a week today and I'm fed up of it. I just want to go home with my baby like everyone else. It's just not fair that I have all these problems. :(
 
Oh hunnie.. Can't even begin to imagine what you're going through.. And unfortunately I have no words that will make any difference to how you are feeling..
You're little lady will be fighting fit and ready for home in no time hopefully and this will all be a distant memory.. I know it doesn't help much right now...
Just try and get as much rest as you can.. Eat n keep your strength up.. Your little lady needs her Mammy to be well xxxx
 
I'm glad Rebecca's doing better with her jaundice, I really hope you can take her home soon. Hugs coming your way xxx
 
Thanks girls. Mike stayed to do the midnight feed and I got about 3 to 4hrs sleep in a solid block which I feel so much better for!

The night staff in special care were lovey and with the help of a nipple shield Rebecca fed from me at 3am and 6am as well as taking her bottle. So pleased!
Still favoring the left side but I can cope with that!

Her levels have stated to drop so fingers crossed the next test results show it's dropped even more!

Feeling much better today..let's hope it will last.

Hope you girls all have a great day. Can't believe today was meant to be my last day at work! How things have changed in a week!

Xx
 
Kim26 said:
Thanks girls. Mike stayed to do the midnight feed and I got about 3 to 4hrs sleep in a solid block which I feel so much better for! The night staff in special care were lovey and with the help of a nipple shield Rebecca fed from me at 3am and 6am as well as taking her bottle. So pleased! Still favoring the left side but I can cope with that! Her levels have stated to drop so fingers crossed the next test results show it's dropped even more! Feeling much better today..let's hope it will last. Hope you girls all have a great day. Can't believe today was meant to be my last day at work! How things have changed in a week! Xx
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It's fab to hear you sounding more positive - I hope everything continues to improve for your little family! You are a fantastic mummy already and you're working so hard for your little girl, you should be very proud xxx
 
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