Lapsed :(

[futureyummymummy]

Just had a huge argument with hubby and shoved 2 huge dark choc covered shortbread biscuits down my neck before I even had time to think about it .

Feeling really depressed and upset, I feel as though I've let everyone down . I hate myself for things like this, thats what got me into this mess in the first place, I hate that I can't control myself and that I'm a crap role model for my children.

Sorry for that just wanted to rant.

 

[roundrachel]

This isn't the end of the world as we know it. It was two biscuits!

I was with my group last night and we were talking about how sometimes we go 'wild' and have a biscuit or piece of chocolate (we're all on RTM now) and actually decided that it's allowed.

The main thing on absitinence is to stay in abstinence. But if you do go a little off track it's important to get back on as soon as possible. NOT beat yourself up about what's happened and look positively forwards not back.

So you slipped up a tiny bit. How exactly does this make you a bad role model to your children or mean you have no self control?

I know it's hard but try not to blow it out of proportion. You're not a bad person. You're a great mum and this is your first tiny slip up. Surely that shows how much self control you have?

Chin up girl. Hope you can sort things out wth your OH. Don't feel bad though. Just don't let it happen again! (said in a non patronising or telling off voice!)

RRxxx

 

[vintella]

hey
rr put it great! draw a line under it, up your water and perhaps just think about other things you can turn to in moments of stress- i find a quick power walk handy
hope your feeling better soon
ella
x

 

[futureyummymummy]

I just feel as though I can't stick to anything and they're going to pick up on my warped view of food and go the exact same way I have and it's really upsetting for me as i know thats what happened with me . I went from anorexic to compulsive eater then back again and guess what here I am at compulsive eater once again, it's just so dissapointing when I've been feeling as though i'm doing ok.

I know it probably sounds stupid to everyone else nut I just want to know that my kids are going to be happy and healthy and able to enjoy food without getting like me.

Thanks for the reply and I will be straight back on the wagon, no day off just a slip up and straight back to it.

Emma xXx

 

[roundrachel]

emma,
I'm in exactly the same situation as you having suffered from anorexia and bulimia. It's been a huge challenge going into RTM but it's made me see that my black and white attitude to food doesn't help me.
I eat food and don't put on weight. And I don't have to be sick or starve myself to keep it off.
I really do understand how you feel but it's about getting on top of your sense of failure when even the smallest of lapses occur. I'm sure your kids will respect you for the immense efforts you're making to lose weight.
Talk to your LLC about it if you can. I know the truth is horrible to say out loud sometimes but this is your golden oportunity to tackle your thoughts head on.
Keep positive. That's what I've learnt. All will be well, you'll see xx

 

[annaphylactic]

Awww, honey - try not to let it get you down too much. These things happen - I had a couple of weeks where I pigged out (in my eyes, although not for a 'normal' person I am sure) on chicken breast pieces. Haha... of all things!!

The important thing is to remember how crap it made you feel and look forward to not doing it again - and hey, if it does happen, just try not to dwell - we all have blips, it is how you deal with them that matters.

Chin up lovely xx

 

[futureyummymummy]

Thanks guy's well I have some serious heartburn going on now and I totally deserve it lol.

Just had my 28 day check too, is it common for your blood pressure to go up?

Emma xXx

 

[Blonde Logic]

Your BP may be a result of your being upset?

Hope you are feeling better now hon. I can understand your concerns based on your history -so sorry to hear you have had so much struggle )

But the example you are setting for your children is that 1.) you made a mistake and ate 2 biscuits. 2.) ou recognised that, and stopped the behaviour straight away.

Sounds like a good role model to me.

Please be sure to discuss this with your LLC - so often people will hold back from their LLC because they feel thay have been bad - but that is the time to ask for their help.

There is a lot to learn, and you will be able to change your past habits. It just takes time - but with a little hard work and blood, weat and tears - you will do it.

Hang in there honey. You are doing great.

<<<hugs and healing vibes your way>>>

 

[Channy35]

Don't worry it's in the past! Look forward but be mindful of emotions and making the wrong choices with food.

 

[futureyummymummy]

I'm actually feeling a lot more positive this week and have my WI tonight.

Am finding it a lot easier to cope now that my eldest is back at school my middly is back at nursery and my hubby is back at work. The house is much calmer (and tidier) and my head feels a lot more sorted with it .

Thanks for all your replies anmd advice evryone it's much appreciated and def helped me through the hard days (of which I'm sure there'll be many more lol).

Emma xXx

 

[annaphylactic]

Not a problem - that's what we're all here for. Yep, there probably will be more bad days, just remember to turn to this forum before you get into too much of a tizzy.

You've all helped me so much over the months - and I'll be forever grateful.

Chin up, stay strong and show those scales who is boss later! A x