Learning to stay Thin Inside and Out

[daisydoll]

hi there
sounds a nightmare journey - and actually under the circumstances i think you did pretty well. it would have been very easy to get choc/crisp type snacks to make yourself 'feel better' in rubbish conditions.

don't stress too much about calories - RTM is a learning curve, and as long as you are learning its all good stuff.

making time is difficult sometimes - impossible even esp with busy job/family life

you are doing fine
daisy x

 

[thin_inside]

RTM is a learning curve, and as long as you are learning its all good stuff.

Oh soo true Daisy.

I had a chat with my LLC tonight about snacks. There am I happily planning in the snacks and using them as a meal in themselves by replacing a pack at lunchtime with veggies, dip and jelly. She tells me I should stick to the one meal and three packs a day and only add snacks if I feel I need to. Ahhh. I guess I don't really need snacks with three packs and a meals. Next week when its two packs and one meal maybe the snacks will come into their own?

Not simple this RTM malarky. I did lose half a pound this week, so not too bad I guess.

 

[Jezebella]

TI hun, promise you a decent post tomorrow but I think you are doing just fine, especially on the mare of a journey!

Hugs

Jez
xx

 

[Sean(JSF)]

Hi T_I, don't stress you're doing fabulously.

Your LLC is right though, I didn't have any 'snacks' until I was down to 2 packs and then almost had to force myself to have some, so I agree it's important to stick to the Plan and have snacks as an addition as/when/if needed rather than as substitute to packs/meals.

As Daisy says though the whole RTM journey is different to abstinence because it's the time when you really get to learn and start to understand about yourself and food.

Keep on enjoying the journey

 

[thin_inside]

Week 2 Day 4

Yesterday. Had a banana shake for breakfast and took a box of 100g mixed wk 2 veggies and a half a tub greek yoghurt 0% to work for snack, plus a sf jelly and a soup pack. Ate the veggies and yoghurt with sf jelly for pud and felt very full. Did not eat the soup.

At home in the evening I had wanted to eat with the family so I had a small meal of about 30g chicken breast with 40g cottage cheese and salad of green leaves, red pepper and mushrooms with a drizzle of balsamic glaze. Immediately felt too full and still two packs to eat. Calories on the low side for the day but full feeling not pleasant. I did eat a lemon bar late evening though. I was tired.

Later at my meeting I discussed the issue of snacks with my LLC. I was taking a snack instead of a pack and treating it more like a meal. Not the right thing to do apparently. Today I am back to thinking about three packs and one meal, dropped the snacks. I don't think I need snacks at the moment as not hungry enough.

0.5lb off, so not too much damage. Still 1lb away from my goal though. Next week.

 

[thin_inside]

Week 2 Day 5

So, back on track with the knowledge that snacks firmly belong in the don't need category this week.

Started the day with a hot vanilla shake. Lunch was one of the new chilli con carne packs which is quite satisfying and warm and comforting in the current cold weather. Had a savoury drink mid afternoon and then a lemon bar with a cup of coffee while I was watching the kids swim. Busy busy day and a rush to get the kids from the pool to school in their brownie uniforms so they can be hostesses for the night at the school xmas fair. Finally home and tucked into a plateful of mixed salad leaves, yellow pepper, button mushrooms, drizzled with balasmic glaze and topped with 100g of prawns in a zero fat thousand island dressing. Yum, yum, yum. Definitely enjoying the salads and fish/prawns.

Had my three packs for the day so I may have a sf jelly as a snack late on. We'll see. Maybe I won't need one.

Sf jelly too nice and has been calling today, but as I didn't take any to work I couldn't have it. Ha. Got that one sussed. Mind you, the chocolates at work have started calling to me as well.

Other news. I finally opened the bottle of diet coke I have had for nearly a week. Took a few sips and have screwed the top back on again. That was enough. Can't recall what the fuss was all about.

So, on to tomorrow... and a hot salmon fillet planned for tea. I am most looking forward to being able to have a hot meal on Sunday (two more days) using passata and beef or venison. It will be even better when I can add a selection of cooked vegetables.

 

[thin_inside]

Week 2 Day 6

The day started well with a hot vanilla shake followed by a chilli pack for lunch. But it all went to pot at tea time when I had a lemon bar followed by a yoghurt and sf jelly, Ok so far. Then, knowing I would be eating out for a Christmas do within a couple of hours, I still went ahead and wolfed down a hot banana shake. Ughh. Why?? Thoughts - I'm cold and need something warm and tasty inside me (crooked).

Anyway - went to this fab steak house with nine others from the swim team for our Christmas night out (I'd forgotton about this when I wrote yesterday's blog and was planning a salmon fillet for tea!). Menu selections all sounded scrummy, but had pretty integral content that I shouldn't be eating in week 6 never mind week 2. In the end I decided to go with a grilled sirloin steak and asked for a green salad and balsamic vinegar on the side to replace the chips. When the plate arrived it held the steak, green salad leaves, cucumber slices, a large cooked mushroom, a whole cooked tomato and some cold sliced tomatoes.

I ate the whole lot. That means I'm two days earlier than programmed with tomatoes and steak, and two weeks early with the cooked mushroom and tomato. However, I don't think this has done me any lasting harm. What is more harmful is the fact I have definitely overeaten. Not only did I have four packs and a snack before going out, but I also ate everything on my plate - including the 8oz sirloin. It was superb but more than I needed and I could so easily have left some aside. I guess I was ready to push the boundaries. I was contemplating cake earlier in the day and definitely thought about getting a pudding tonight, but passed on those as well as the chips offered and the biscuits and mints that came with coffee.

Ups and downs. No really bad choices, just too much. Back to the old portion control issue. Again, something I have to be aware of and working on. I also have to be able to let myself leave food on a plate and not feel like I have to clear it because a) I have paid for it; b) it's a polite thing to do; c) it's tasty even though I'm full.

I am now thinking of having another jelly and yoghurt, so will have to take myself off to bed to avoid temptation. I am feeling heavy and bloated but still wanting something sweet to finish off my evening ....

 

[thin_inside]

Week 2 Day 7

Struggling today. I started the day badly by eating more than I needed for breakfast with a vanilla pack, sf jelly and 75g of greek yoghurt. At least it's all food on the plan.

Late morning - I recognise that getting home and eating a bar and a jelly (far too early for it to be lunch) was an emotional eating response to just having had a very trying visit to my Mums. Won't go into the details, but she is, as ever, feeling very sorry for herself and full of religious fervour.

OK I thought, I'll make sure I don't have an afternoon snack and then reign in the calories for my tea - salmon and salad. I would love to have a big bowl of hot soup or warm roasted veggies. I'm soooo cold all the time now. It's not nice.

My plan for the day was to focus on achieving a christmas clear out and deep clean of the living room. It's a big room and is full of kids 'stuff' so is a pretty major task.

I need to keep out of the way of the mountain of cakes we were given as left overs from the school fete two days ago. They are calling.....

Managed the afternoon without further snacks and for tea I did have my planned salmon fillet with a few prawns and salad bits. Very tasty indeed. But then, I ate more jelly, and then picked at the pack of cooked bbq chicken in the fridge, picked a bit more.. and then finished it off. A whole extra portion of protein. Not to stop there I ate a lemon bar. Why, why, why? I'm really not sure this time. Tired, yes. Under achieved on days goals, yes. May be contributors, but I can't really blame these factors in isolation.

Boy o boy I have so much to learn. Will I ever be able to control my eating?

Going to get stuck into the lounge again now. I should feel better for the activity and making the place tidier. At the least I will be avoiding stuffing anything else in my face.

 

[daisydoll]

hi T_I
i could have written your above posts myself.
i do similar things
and have no idea why

its like im being defiant and it makes me feel as if i am in control - but actually its completely the opposite - i can't really explain what i mean!

i know at the time its 'wrong' but i defy myself - i suppose its the inner child thing. i wish i could control it

at least its good stuff you are over doing it with, not the cakes and crisps

keep going, you will find a way

daisy x

 

[Jezebella]

TI hun

Congrats on not eating off plan, even if it is a little more than you intended. I tried especially in the early days of RTM to break my food down into small components and set quite specific times to eat it. So I always knew I had something to look forward too. EG you know you really need that afternoon snack, so have half the bar for brekkie, save half and have it with coffee for your afternoon nibble. That way you always know there is something to look forward to and it becomes slightly less tempting to eat inbetween. I kind of got into the whole "delayed gratification" thing by making myself wait for things - all too often in my life it has been a pattern of "i want it and i want it now" and nothing stops me from having it now. So now when I want something and make myself wait, I tend to feel quite proud of myself and give myself a lot of positive strokes. I might be advising the wrong thing, by making it seem as if the food is a treat, but for me it helped to have things to look forward to at times I knew I would otherwise lapse. Perhaps there are non food ways you can treat yourself, like you did in abstinence - take time out and paint your nails etc. Try not to be quite so hard on yourself hun, you have achieved such amazing results so you KNOW that you can do this and you have the control. It is just all such a novelty at the moment, so you want to try everything all at once. Another trick I used and still use is the idea that food, especially certain food types - are not on the endangered list!!! They will all still be there for many years to come, so I don't have to absoulutely indulge in them today, they will still be here tomorrow and the next day and the day after that for me to try.

Hope this is some kind of help hun, but give me a buzz if you need

Jez
xx

 

[thin_inside]

Week 3 Day 1

Not a bad day but still a little high on calories and had protein at two meal times which I shouldn't do. New foods allowed this week include some fruits, whole eggs, red meats and ready made virtually fat free cooking sauces. Already had a steak two days ago and as I will be away the next two days I haven't been shopping specially for the new menu plan although I can't wait to try a ham omlette.

The day started with a vanilla shake and lots of coffee. I made blueberry drop scones for the kids and enjoyed the making and smelling. One day I will be able to indulge. Back to the lounge and I spent the morning putting all the games and toy sets back together after having found many of the missing bits yesterday whilst picking up and sorting out. Had a muller light yoghurt as a break when offering the kids a snack. Probably could have resisted this.

Lunch was at a friends house. I took a chilli pack and had that, but allowed myself to be pressured into taking a small bit of plain chicken (made just for me) and some salad followed by some bits of fruit from the fruit salad she had made 'specially' for me. Not a lot really and all stuff allowed on the plan, but more than I needed with the pack too.

Back home and busied in the living room and girls rooms again so tea time rolled on without further thoughts of food. I cooked my salmon, which wouldn't keep until wed and had a decent and varied salad with it. I had a crunchy, sweet and very juicy braeburn apple for my pudding. It was absolutely delicious. I really enjoyed this as a meal and will keep it up after RTM I'm sure.

I am away from home tomorrow night so will have a pack for breakfast and a bar or soup for lunch and then choose wisely in a restaurant somewhere. I will take a few apples for munching on as a snack on the long drive or as a desert. Wow for fruit

Hope to be able to plan in a tomoatoey, chilli type affair for Wednesday evening. Weather here awful tonight and a steamy bowl of something spicy would be a real treat. Shame I can't add lots of veggies yet.

Total cals today about 850. A bit high, but nothing eaten that I shouldn't and no major binges either. Salmon fillet does seem to be high in cals, but I know it's a great source of good omega 3 and other nutrients.

 

[thin_inside]

EG you know you really need that afternoon snack, so have half the bar for brekkie, save half and have it with coffee for your afternoon nibble.

Thanks Jez for your lovely kind words. One of the things I have to learn is to accept mistakes and not beat myself up about it.

Another thing I have to learn is that I can leave food for later. I have a terrible job with this. If I had biscuits in the house it was fine for weeks until they were opened, and then the whole pack disappeared. Same with an LL bar - once opened it has to be consumed. Try as I might, I don't seem to be able to leave half for later. Gonna take a lot of work to fix this one.

xx

 

[thin_inside]

Week 3 Day 2

Yesterday - I had an early start. I set off with a hot vanilla shake and a coffee in my tum and a sliced braeburn apple in a box as a snack while on the three hour drive. Yum, yum! Fruit is amazing! I am loving the sweetness and crunch and flavours.

At the coffee break mid morning I had a cranberry bar. I was feeling a bit light headed and in need of something, but this was the one that snuck in unplanned.

Lunch was provided after the meeting and, amazingly, there was a platter of salad to go with the sandwiches, and an huge platter of fruit for afters - sliced oranges, kiwis, apple, grapes and melons. Melon not introduced yet, but I tucked into the mixed salad and the rest of the fruit. What a suprise. Much nicer than the soup pack I had in my bag, but perhaps too much as it is only supposed to be as a snack this week. Headed off for the afternoon on site with my taste buds feeling alive and buzzing.

I am really looking forward to an omlette with quark, ham and tomato filling, but that will have to wait til later in the week when I'm at home. At the restaurant next to the hotel I was very suprised as there were some lovely booths with private television screens. I stay in the hotel regularly but haven't been to the restaurant all year (not suprising really). The tv was a pleasant experience for the solo diner, I always take something to read anyway but I did watch telly while eating as reading is a bit difficult when hands are engaged with knife and fork. I felt really hungry so settled on king prawn skewers with sweet chilli dip for starter and an undressed green salad topped with torn chicken and bacon for the main. It was perfect. Tasty and not too much. The only discretion was that I suspect the bacon was streaky bacon rather than lean, but it had been grilled and was only one rasher torn into pieces. My taste buds really appreciated the saltiness and complemented the fresh salad. Coffee to follow while I read the paper. Luxury.

Having already had two packs and a meal and snacks I was all out of allowances for the day. However, I worked until late in the evening at the desk in my room accompanied by several coffees and hot flavoured water. By midnight I wanted something, so I had it. A hot banana shake. Bed was after 1am and I appreciated the pack, but I know I should have packed up and gone to bed instead. Typically it was connection issues that kept me up. I had completed some work that needed to be sent by email, but the connection kept failing, hence the lateness of the hour and the urge to eat.

Late night working is on my list of bad habits to break.

A high calorie day - in a large part due to the amount of fruit I enjoyed as well as three packs instead of two.

 

[thin_inside]

Week 3 Day 3

At the hotel this morning I had slices of orange topped with a small low fat natural yoghurt and accompanied by a glass of fresh orange juice and a black coffee. It was just amazing. I have stayed around 80 nights in hotels this year and that was my first breakfast. Gorgeous. Just absolutely gorgeous.

On logging the orange juice I note that this really does up the calories and is something to keep for special occasions and not every time.

I had a bar and coffee followed by a kiwi fruit and sf jelly for lunch. Later in the afternoon, when stopped for a coffee on the drive home, I ate another kiwi fruit - never really liked them before but absolutely couldn't get enough of them today. I would have happily eaten the whole pack of eight, but my adult head said no, stop now. I also had a ww toffee yoghurt. Hmm. Piggish.

Tea tonight was quorn pieces marinaded in allspice, peri-peri and lemon juice, dry fried off and then cooked in a bit of Dolmio light bolognese sauce with (gasp) red pepper, spring onion and mushrooms. I really needed to stack it out with veggies and wanted them hot rather than as an accompanying salad. Strictly speaking, veggies should not be cooked yet. Ah well. It was more a heat through than cooked - and really added to the dish. Lovely. Finished with a sf jelly and a ww vanilla yoghurt. A couple of hours later and I'm feeling on the top end of satisfied. Definitely don't need anything more to eat now.

Finally a point to note. Tonight I attended my first RTM meeting and had my end of week 2 weigh-in. It was a stand-in LLC (the one I don't like much) and I loitered for a while but she was still weighing after nearly an hour so I decided to head home since most of the others had already departed. It was good news though as I hit my goal weight despite being around 800-1000 cals per day for the last week. Absolutely delighted with this, but feel a bit underwhelmed. I think it's because I feel I have eaten too much this past week and have many lessons to learn, but I did get a gorgeous bunch of flowers at home to celebrate the occasion

 

[Jezebella]

Congrats hun, especially on reaching GOAL!!!! Fantastic news. Seems we both had classes that were a bit odd tonight, but I am so glad you treated yourself to some lovely flowers. It sounds to me like you are learning loads and actually making some really good adult choices, stop being so hard on yourself all the time. As my LLC says it is not about being perfect this RTM thing, just about being good enough. Real life is not that controllable. Something I am starting to learn and am also trying not to beat myself up for. It is so hard when you travel, a bit like me working and trying to fit meals in on the events. I personally think you are doing fantastically.

Keep it up hun, you are a star!!

Jez
xx

 

[Morticia]

Good to catch up with how you're doing TI.

I can identify with feeling that the food has to be eaten just now and stuggling with leaving for later. I know this comes from my childhood and a big family. If you were not fast, you were last. I have to keep reminding myself that that sort of behaviour does not serve me in the here and now. I also have to keep reminding myself that the food will be there later...nobody will pinch it, it won't go off and even if it did there is a plentiful supply....it's not like we are living in a third world country. So you are not alone in that behaviour but it does get easier with constant reprogramming.

Well done on your goal weight....WOHOOOOOOO!!....

 

[thin_inside]

Week 3 Day 4

Where is the time going to? I can't believe how busy life is and how fast RTM seems to be passing - I have barely had time to really think about food today, which means I have had a pretty good day calorie wise. Breakfast was a ww yoghurt over a sweet and crunchy chopped apple. Several cups of coffee later it was lunch time - a chilli con carne pack. Warm and sufficient, although I really did fancy something more to chew. I had 'lost' the kiwi fruit I took with me so had to manage without it. I did loiter over the charity sweetie box, but managed to resist and walk away. When I do go back to chocolate I want to have some in a situation where it is not triggered by a craving. That way I'm more likely to enjoy it, recognise when the initial taste burst has gone and be able to stop before it becomes eating for eatings sake.

A dentist trip with the girls this afternoon was good as we all got a clean bill of dental health. Once again my teeth are 'perfect'. The LL foods clearly take less effort to clean off my teeth and/or attract less plaque. It will be interesting to see what observation I get in six months time after I have been eating properly again. I used to need them to be de-tartared once a year.

Two delivered to their brownies party with multiple packs of crisps, then home for tea. Hungry now so had the longed for omelette made from two eggs and a scoosh of skimmed milk and a few herbs. For some reason I then added some of the quorn that has been marinaded in peri-peri, chopped peppers, spring onions and finely chopped chilli pepper. Then I made the additional mistake of adding black pepper. Looked fantastic.. but when I took a mouthful the combination almost blew my head off! Interesting.... and not to be repeated. I like spicy food and did eat it all, but my tastebuds have been burnt off I think. I should have stuck to the simple ham and tomato omelette with side salad that I had initially planned.

Still, the meal did satisfy me and I remain comfortably sated. Logging my day on food focus I still have plenty of scope for my second pack and a kiwi fruit, yes, the 'lost' one that I had actually left behind in the house this morning and discovered on returning home.

I must add a note in here about my recently developed 'wind' problem. I guess my digestive system has not had too much to work on over the past year, so it seems to be making up for it with enthusiasm. The problem appears to have coincided with the reintroduction of red meat - specifically the steak I had last Friday. Of course that may be pure coincidence. My poor family

Another note - I am more pleased today about having reached goal. Not sure why it felt such an anticlimax last night, but it did. Today I had a couple of inner self hugs when I thought about it. I feel as though I have arrived and am where I should be on the scales. I want to maintain under 10 stone and that's now where the effort must be focused - the learning of new habits that will enable me to achieve this lifelong goal.

 

[thin_inside]

Good to catch up with how you're doing TI.

I can identify with feeling that the food has to be eaten just now and stuggling with leaving for later. I know this comes from my childhood and a big family. If you were not fast, you were last. I have to keep reminding myself that that sort of behaviour does not serve me in the here and now. I also have to keep reminding myself that the food will be there later...nobody will pinch it, it won't go off and even if it did there is a plentiful supply....it's not like we are living in a third world country. So you are not alone in that behaviour but it does get easier with constant reprogramming.

Well done on your goal weight....WOHOOOOOOO!!....

Thanks Morticia. I am from a biggish family and competed with boys for the food available so speed eating and grabbing for any extras before they disappeared are well developed skills that I need to unlearn. There was never any left-overs in our house.

It is reassuring that leaving food for later may get easier with continued practice. I am determined to stay on programme and redevelop my eating habits to ensure I maintain in the long term - for life.

xx

 

[daisydoll]

lol at your omelette!

i'm addicted to wasabi bean mix - great for picking at in the evenings (measured of course! ) it is so painful at times and makes my eys and nose run, but i love it.
have you tried it before? if not then i recommend you give it a go when you are allowed to
- def satisfies hot/spicy cravings

daisy x

PS. hope your windy problem settles down for the sake of your family!

 

[thin_inside]

Week 3 Day 5

Hot vanilla for breakfast.

An early lunch was raw veggies dipped in total 0% greek yoghurt, followed by sf jelly, cox apple and a weight watchers yoghurt.

Afternoon saw me grab a raspberry and cranberry bar then more jelly and yoghurt.

Tea was a bit of smoked salmon and a bit of cottage cheese scattered on a green salad with chopped red pepper, a few cherry tomatoes and balsamic. Really enjoyed the meal.

Cleared and cleaned the hallway and put one Christmas tree up with the kids. They won by constant nagging.

Finally worked late so found myself having a hot banana shake late on.

Cals a bit high - around 1000 for the day, but no poor choices just too much yoghurt and fruit.