update 5 weeks on...
Hi again everyone.
I haven't posted since 6th October. Since then, I've just reached my 5th weigh in. I've lost a total of 33.5 lbs (2 st 5.5 lbs, or approx 33% of the total I need to lose). It's been difficult. Psychologically. The last time around, with every stone I lost, I dropped a dress size, and I had different stuff fitting me. This time around, I really have just been wearing clothes that were far too small in the first instance (and looking disgusting). Now I'm still wearing those clothes, but at least they're fitting me properly. So I don't feel the "success" yet. Never mind, I'm bearing with it. At least my size 16s now fit me, the way they should, so that's a plus. And I actually managed to squeeze my way into a 14. It wasn't pretty. Think blubber pouring out at every angle. It's disheartening, but I know I'll persevere and get there.
I just thought I'd share my experiences this time around, as opposed to last time.
- Strangely, I'm having a - relatively - easy time with the hunger side of things (I didn't before).
- Of course, I'm still cold most of the time (so no difference there), but I just pump up the heaters, have lots of hot baths and showers, and say to hell with global warming for a few months.
- My other half is an absolute angel and has long-perfected making "smoothie-type" shakes - I have a vanilla coffee iced shake for breakfast and a chocolate-coffee iced shake for dinner. Lunchtime, by its nature, is yucky (chocolate shake from plastic shaker in work, but what odds, 2 outa 3 aint bad!). So whereas before the last time around I hated the shakes, this time I don't mind them too much.
- I'm also not having the awful time with the (ahem) back-door side of things this time around either, I simply take a spoon of fibreclear in my morning shake and hey presto, no more ninja-star pile-inducing poos *laughs*. Last time around was not nice. But I've learned.
- I'm definitely suffering the boredom that comes from Lipotrim, mostly only in the evenings, when I'd love to be making a nice dinner. There's no difference there.
- Finally, the one thing that hasn't changed, last time or this, is the mood swings, the edginess, being-quick-to-get-angry, having absolutely zero libido, and the attendant depression that this causes. I hate that my partner and I are not intimate but he understands (he's done it too in the past and knows the score). Mostly, I hate that this is the way it's gonna be until Spring. But I really want to lose weight.
- My Christmas plan this time around is different. I've decided, after a lot of thinking, is to go off this at Christmas time. I did it over Christmas before, but it was hard - my willpower was secure, but it was difficult0 trying to make "tummy bug" or "I've already eaten" or "no thanks, I know it's Christmas but I'm off chocolate and alcohol" excuses. So I'm "giving in", as it were. I know, realistically, all it means is that I'll have another 2 weeks after my previous projected end date of end March/start April. So that's not really all that awful I guess. And at least I should be around the 13.5 stone mark for Christmas, which is a hellofalot better than 17.5 stone I was only 5 weeks ago.
I'd better stop, I'm ranting on somewhat. I wonder what people think of the moods-and-libido thing, and if anyone has any hints for coping with those. I am a generally sunny person, and I hate feeling like this. Think constant PMT...
Good luck to everyone on this, it's really hard and I have nothing but respect for people undertaking the journey!